Page 52 of Retrograde

‘It’s snowing!’ Jasmine screeched from out by the pool, which Julien had reluctantly covered up because Ford kept jumping in. As a husky, he was used to the cold, but Faith and Lucie were tired of having to dry him off. ‘Oh, it’s so beautiful! I’ve never seen snow before.’

It was Christmas Eve and Lucie had been sucked into the Jensen-Moretz family traditions as if Julien and Faith were Mr and Mrs Claus themselves.

She didn’t dare disappear to her room for more than a few minutes of peace for fear of one of them dragging her out of bed like a scene from a horror film, forcing her to participate and find some Christmas spirit.

The truth was, she was struggling to find it within herself this year.

She loved Christmas, curling up on the sofa with a blanket and a festive film, decorating the tree, baking tree-shaped cookies and then ruining them with a poor attempt at icing.

It was her favourite time of the year, and she always spent it with Brett.

He was her partner in crime, indulging in everything she wanted to do even if it meant watching The Holiday three days in a row.

She wished she could get excited about him coming to Belgium to spend it with them, but instead she was dreading it.

Marco had been tracking Brett’s whereabouts and updating her on every step of his journey, so she had plenty of time to prepare, and he’d promised to sit next to her during every meal, so she didn’t have to get too close to him.

God forbid she had to ask him to pass the mashed potato or cranberry sauce.

But Lucie knew now was the time to talk it out.

She wasn’t going into the new year with this hanging over their heads.

Part of her wished she’d made plans to go back to Tuscany or Los Angeles and be with her family, but she was growing tired of fighting this.

They had ten years of friendship behind them, this was surely just a blip.

Whether they had feelings or not, their bond was supposed to be unbreakable. She couldn’t lose him.

‘Lucie, it’s time!’ Marco came hurtling down the stairs like it was Christmas morning and he’d been told Santa was coming down the chimney. ‘He’s here.’

Brett pulled up in a black Mercedes G-Wagon, because of course he would rent one of the most expensive cars he could find just to drive two hours from the airport.

Lucie acted like she hadn’t noticed his arrival, in case he looked through the window next to the front door.

She didn’t want to be caught staring. Or drooling.

At him or the car. She made a conscious effort to turn her back and focus on pulling the cookies out of the oven, ignoring the timer and waiting a few extra seconds so she was visibly busy when he walked in.

‘Hi, everyone.’ At the sound of his voice, Lucie abandoned her plan and turned to him.

He looked ten times more uncomfortable than she felt as he stood in the doorway holding three bunches of flowers.

All winter bouquets, with cream roses, eucalyptus, fir, cotton and pinecones.

They looked exactly like one Lucie had saved to her inspiration board years ago.

‘Hey.’ She shot him a smile, hoping it would go some way towards dissolving some of the tension. The one he responded with made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and she knew it wasn’t just Christmas spirit.

‘Uncle B!’ Jasmine came in from outside with a snowy Ford in tow, both tackling Brett, who was doing his best not to let the flowers get squashed.

‘One of these is for you, Jazzy,’ he held out a bouquet, ‘and one is for Faith.’

Faith wiped her hands on a tea towel and walked towards him, pulling Ford’s collar to stop him jumping up. ‘Jules, control your dog, please.’

‘He’s our dog, Faith!’ Julien took charge of him, nonetheless.

‘Where are our flowers, Anderson?’ Marco put his hands on his hips.

‘Sorry, uh, Luce. These are for you.’ He held out the last bouquet, creeping closer to the kitchen where Lucie had stayed rooted to the spot.

She removed her oven gloves and rounded the centre island, all her strength diminished as she embraced the moment.

She stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around him, in a hug that was so needed, she could’ve sworn their entire world shifted.

‘Thank you, Brett.’ She spoke in a hushed tone, and it was only when she spoke that she felt him sigh under her touch before returning the hug, squeezing her tight.

‘Get a room,’ Julien scoffed. ‘Ow! Faith!’

‘It’s just as well you got here when you did, Anderson.’ Faith peered outside. ‘The snow is getting heavier; the whole region might be on lockdown soon.’

Jasmine grinned and helped herself to a fresh-out-the-oven cookie. ‘That means you all have to stay longer and hang out with your favourite niece.’

‘Does it look like I’m going anywhere?’ Lucie deadpanned.

‘That’s true. You’re still going to be here when I go to college at this rate.’

‘Okay, maybe that’s too far.’

‘Well, you could,’ Julien shrugged. ‘I’m building a guest house out the back next year, and I’ll probably add an extension to the main house for when Faith and I have more babies.’

‘You don’t have any babies.’ Jasmine rolled her eyes.

He ruffled his daughter’s hair playfully which, judging by her dramatic reaction, was the wrong move. ‘You’ll always be my baby. Even though you’re a giant now.’

‘If you could have like, six more kids to take some attention off every little thing I do, that would be great. Please. I want siblings.’

‘Well…’ Faith cleared her throat. ‘About that.’

‘No. Effing. Way.’ Jasmine’s jaw dropped along with everyone else’s. ‘Are you really?!’

‘Huh?’ Marco looked confused.

Faith and Julien shared a smile before he nodded his head and motioned for his wife to speak. ‘We’re having twins. Due in June.’

‘What?!’ Lucie rushed to give her best friend a hug, the pair of them squealing and swaying side to side while Jasmine joined in, then Marco, then finally Brett and Julien completed it. ‘The first Revolution Racing team babies!’

‘This is amazing news, guys! Congratulations. Ford, you’re going to be a big brother.’ Brett crouched down to cuddle Ford, but all Lucie could focus on was how he looked like he was trying not to cry.

‘Wait, what about work?’ Marco asked.

‘Jules is still going to race, and I’m not going anywhere.

We’re going to get a nanny and I think my mum might come out for a bit to help.

Life doesn’t have to stop.’ Faith shrugged like it was simple.

‘It’s happened a little earlier than expected and we obviously weren’t planning on twins, but you know, we have a lot of love to give. ’

‘And a lot of money, thank God, nannies are so expensive!’

‘Rather you than me.’ Marco’s eyes went wide.

‘Ford!’ Brett yelled out as the dog started pulling on the zip of his suitcase. ‘Leave. No. Ford, stop. Bad boy.’ Ford was in a world of his own, the suitcase scooting around the floor on four wheels with him chasing it.

‘Oi!’ Julien shouted, and he stopped.

‘Seriously? That works?’ Lucie laughed.

‘I’m going to take my things upstairs and out of the way.’ Brett clung to his rescued case and carried it away.

‘Which one of you is going to come and make snow angels with me?’ Jasmine looked between Marco and her dad.

‘Both of us.’ Marco grabbed his coat from the banister and shoved Julien through the house. ‘Suck it up, Moretz. You’re going to spend the next eighteen years running round after two more of her, better start practising again.’

Lucie and Faith soaked in the silence for a moment once they were alone in the kitchen, but Lucie could feel her friend’s eyes on her. ‘Can I help you?’

‘Go up there, Luce. You don’t have to have the talk, but at least smooth things over. If you don’t, you’re going to have a long couple of days. It seemed like things were going okay just now.’

‘Ugh, do I have to? I just… what do I say?’

‘You say, “Hey, Brett. Just want to check that you and I are good. Let’s have a nice Christmas with our friends.” And then you say, “I am deeply in love with you and it’s totally okay that you shoved your tongue down your ex’s throat.” Simple.’

‘I am not saying any of that. Well, maybe the first part. Wait, where is he sleeping? There’s only one guest room. Mine.’ Lucie frowned.

‘Yeah… about that. We put a blow-up mattress on the floor next to your bed. There’s only space for Mars on the sofa.

Mars and Brett can always swap, but you know, we thought we should at least try to force you into a conversation.

It’s our duty as friends and teammates.’ Faith shrugged, and then proceeded to hum as she put their flowers in vases, going full florist-mode and ignoring Lucie’s look of disgust.

‘Snakes, the lot of you,’ she sighed and all but stomped her way up the stairs, seeking out Brett. She entered her bedroom, where she found him gawking at the mattress on the floor. ‘I had the same reaction.’

‘I can sleep in my car. Put the seats down,’ he suggested, looking around like he hoped the ground would swallow him up any moment.

For some reason, that hurt. How had they got to this point?

From sharing rooms and beds like it was nothing, to one of them preferring to sleep outside in the dead of winter.

She wanted to undo everything. Erase the last two years, start again.

But most importantly, she wanted to be in love with a man who was truly ready to give up the lifestyle he had been accustomed to for his entire adult life and choose her. ‘No, no need.’

‘Try not to snore.’ He gave her that soft, shy smile again.

Lucie laughed. ‘We both know it’s you who sounds like a freight train.’

‘Reckon we can sneak some pistachio cookies up here and have a midnight feast?’

‘Yeah, I think so,’ she agreed, letting the silence wash over them. ‘Um… Brett, are we good? Can we just… get through the next few days? I know it won’t be like before, but…’