Page 27 of Retrograde

Her aunt needed to invest in better mattresses.

She’d tried both bedrooms, and both were horrendous.

Her back pain was worse than it was after napping in camping chairs at the back of the Revolution Racing garage, and she was hunting for painkillers in the bathroom cabinet when everything that had happened yesterday started to sink in.

Davide had taken her on a forty-five-minute walk across the city to a gelato shop, where they’d held up the queue while deciding on which flavours they wanted.

They’d settled on a scoop of Nutella, one mango and one coconut and Lucie had decided Ben she’d treated herself to a lie-in after a late night with her newfound, temporary friends.

Although she was pretty sure she’d drunkenly promised them VIP race tickets so she was bound to hear from some of them again.

She headed into the hall and opened the door to a beautiful smirk on his beautiful face, and one glance up and down her body, his gaze lingering on her bare legs, ignited a spark. Fuck it, this trip was for her. Why shouldn’t she be reckless for once?

His hands were in her hair in an instant as his lips crashed down on hers.

She jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist as he gripped on to her thighs, holding her up.

They hadn’t even made it through the front door, and she was ready to rip his clothes off.

As her hands roamed his body she could feel every ridge and curve of his.

‘Lucie.’ He pulled away and rested his forehead against hers, his fingers stroking her skin. He was dangerously close to her inner thigh, and she found herself adjusting so he got the hint. This was what she wanted. ‘What about the racing driver?’

And there it was. That reality she had been craving. A reality where she realised there was no escaping the Brett Anderson bubble.

‘I’m sorry.’ She slipped out of his grasp, suddenly feeling vulnerable.

‘You have nothing to be sorry for. I only came to ask if you wanted to go exploring again, after breakfast of course. I know it’s your last day.’

‘Yes, I’d love to! Um, want to wait inside while I get ready? Won’t be long.’

‘Take all the time you need.’ He smiled and she almost laughed. She may only need twenty minutes to be physically ready, but she needed a hell of a lot more time to process her thoughts.

‘You’ve never been to the Colosseum?’ Davide stared at her in disbelief while they queued to see one of the most iconic pieces of history on planet earth up close. Somehow, this was a new experience for Lucie.

‘My sisters always preferred shopping.’

‘Well, I’m glad you didn’t ask me to do that with you.’

‘I can’t believe I’ve waited so long to see this. You know, I aced history back in high school?’ She rubbed her hands together, ready to wow him with her knowledge of the Romans. All things he already knew, no doubt.

‘I thought you had a creative brain, judging by your job.’

‘What can I say? I’m a woman of many talents.’

‘I don’t doubt it,’ he smirked.

She felt that funny feeling wash over her again as they shuffled closer to the entrance.

That strange sensation of being attracted to a man other than Brett.

She was still battling her head and her heart, only now, her heart was equally as confused.

She wondered if she should just go home and pretend this trip hadn’t happened, that she hadn’t almost slept with Davide, but she knew it was serving a purpose.

It was waking her up. What to? She wasn’t sure.

But it would become clear sooner or later.

‘This isn’t what I expected.’ Lucie scrunched her nose up in annoyance as she was shoved into again. ‘ Lizzie McGuire set my expectations too high.’

‘Would you like me to start singing?’ Davide grinned. ‘Hey now, hey now…’ He sang quietly so nobody else could hear.

‘It’s okay,’ she laughed, hoping he wouldn’t continue.

He glanced at her, a twinkle in his eye, before projecting his voice above the chatter of tourists. ‘This is what dreams are made of!’

‘Davide!’ She slapped her hand over his mouth, mortified as multiple tour groups looked at them in confusion. A few girls in their twenties carried on singing the rest of the song to themselves, the only people around them who seemed to understand the reference.

‘Am I embarrassing you?’

‘Just a smidge.’

‘I’m sorry,’ he shrugged. ‘Don’t you think it’s so cool that we’re standing here right now? Where actual gladiators were. There’s so much history in these walls.’

‘Or lack of walls,’ she noted. ‘It’s amazing that it’s still standing.’

‘I bet you’ve seen some amazing things thanks to your job, no? All those racetracks, just as a starting point. But you must have been all over the place.’

‘I’m super lucky, yeah. I don’t think I’ve stayed in one place longer than two weeks since I joined the IEC.’

‘Still, it’s always good to have somewhere you can call home.’

After lunch, Lucie made her excuses and left Davide to wander round alone. It felt different today, the more she stewed over their kiss, and she had regrets. She needed to get back into the comfort of her own company and her own space.

She hadn’t spoken to Brett for two days and she was starting to feel something in the pit of her stomach.

A sense of emptiness. Longing. She had attachment issues, but who wouldn’t in her shoes?

If it hadn’t been for the fact he was battling an alcohol dependency problem and resolving his trauma without her help, maybe she would be able to go about her day in peace.

But the unfortunate truth was, Lucie would never stop worrying about him. Or missing him.

Back at the apartment, she made herself a herbal tea and curled up in a tattered old armchair, ready for a catch-up.

What would she say? Would she tell him about Davide?

Should she? Not necessarily the kiss part, but just his general existence and the fact she’d spent the last couple of days with her own personal tour guide, and she’d had a great time exploring with a Rome native.

She didn’t know why she was so nervous about it when Brett knew she made friends everywhere she went. It was the guilt of that kiss talking. Guilt that wasn’t even warranted. Her head was a mess.

It became even more of a mess when his phone went straight to voicemail. The feeling in the pit of her stomach somehow shifted into something else. A fear that somehow he knew. Or worse, he’d screwed up.

‘Maggie?’ Lucie’s voice came out panicked when his mum answered on the third ring.

She heard chatter in the background, heard Brett and Piper cheering, and suddenly all was right in her world. ‘Hi, Lucie! How’s Rome?’

‘Hey, Sunny!’ Brett yelled out. ‘We miss you! I’m thrashing Cleo at pool!’

‘Pool?’ Lucie asked.

‘Yes,’ she muttered. ‘Brett got us a pool table for the house. They had it purchased and set up by this time last night, and today, they got a diving board fitted in the swimming pool. Honestly, Lucie. They’re a nightmare.’

‘I bet. Rome isn’t exactly relaxing, but I’m pretty sure it’s more peaceful than your house right now.’ Lucie laughed as another cheer erupted, this time from Piper.

‘Hang on, I’m taking this call outside,’ Maggie sighed, and after a few moments of shuffling, heaved a sigh of relief. ‘That’s better. I can hear properly now. So I’ll ask again, how is Rome?’

‘It’s great. I made friends!’ She decided to mention it, because she realised she wanted to share the photos and Davide was in some of them. As well as the group from the bar, of course.

‘Oh, I’m so glad you did! I bet it was so freeing just being able to do whatever you wanted for a couple of days.’

‘Absolutely. And yet here I am worrying about your son.’

‘Oh, don’t worry about him! I’m keeping an eye on him.

You have to focus on your own mental well-being, Lucie.

You’ve done so much for Brett, but you also can’t support him if you’re not putting yourself first. I strongly suggest you stay in Italy for another week.

Go see Marco or something. You have that charity event in Monaco next week anyway, right?

Brett can just fly out and meet you there, you don’t need to come all the way back to Sydney for him. ’

‘Yeah… you’re right. But promise me something, Maggie.’

‘Get in touch the second I think he’s up to no good? Consider it a deal. If you keep me updated with your travels so I can live vicariously through you. I think I’ll have to visit your parents in Tuscany this year, Australia is feeling claustrophobic!’

‘They’d love to have you, Maggs. Right, I’m going to call Mars, see if he wants a house guest. Tell Brett I’ll text him tomorrow or something.’

Lucie hung up, and felt a strange sense of peace wash over her.

It was like she was starting to find her feet again after all her recent stress.

Brett was fine. He didn’t need her around all the time, which meant she could travel and work and not feel guilty about leaving him behind.

But she knew it was still a rocky path he was on, and he might not be okay forever.