Page 12 of Retrograde

Brett didn’t handle rejection well, and although they’d had a great night, she had done just that.

He’d tried to take her to bed, and she’d turned him down.

When she had told him they couldn’t take things further, she could see the hurt in his eyes and knew at that moment something had shifted between them.

Even though they had stayed up most of the night and talked, their previous antics not mentioned again, she’d made him think she didn’t want him in the way that he wanted her, and because he was human, that must have stung.

He was probably embarrassed, maybe he thought there was something wrong with him.

Or maybe he thought he’d offended her by even trying.

She recalled the moment he had flinched when she’d put her hand over his as he passed her his shirt, and a wave of regret hit her.

Despite Julien’s reassurance, and despite knowing Brett would be fine when he’d fully sobered up, as Lucie padded down the hotel corridor with bare feet, she felt awful.

This was her fault. She should’ve explained herself better.

Poured her heart out, told him the only reason she didn’t want to sleep with him last night was because she wanted more than that from him.

If she was going to have Brett Anderson, she wanted all of him. The good and the bad and yes, looking at the state he was in now, the ugly. But Brett was not the kind of man who could commit to her, and Lucie was in so deep with him that anything less would break her into pieces.

‘Lucie, love?’ Faith opened the door, a mug of coffee in her hand.

‘Take this, drink it and then go shower and wash your hair. I’ve left spare sweatpants, underwear, socks and all that in the bathroom for you.

Sweatpants are Julien’s so you might have to roll them up, but they should be okay for now.

Bea and Esme are on their way. I’ll call room service, too. Blueberry pancakes?’

Lucie looked at her friend and burst into tears.

‘Thank you.’ She pulled her into a tight hug and let her mascara-saturated tears fall onto the soft white cotton of Faith’s top.

Stain remover and dry-cleaning existed for situations like this.

Well, maybe not the best friend may have a drinking problem part, but the crying in last night’s makeup part.

‘Nothing to thank me for. Off you go, you’ll feel clearer-headed after.

’ Faith shooed her into the bathroom, coffee mug and all.

If there was anything Faith could do well, it was nursing other people’s hangovers and heartbreaks.

She’d used the tough-love approach on Bea when she’d almost broken up with Ricardo De La Rosa over a tiny blip, and on Julien’s daughter, Jasmine, when her first-ever school crush rejected her.

This situation was potentially a little more serious, but Lucie still appreciated it.

If Faith wasn’t there to look after her, she’d have sat in Julien’s hotel room and stared out at the Las Vegas Strip, letting her thoughts run wild.

It wasn’t healthy. But Faith knew exactly what Lucie needed.

She knew her almost as well as Brett did.

Their friendship had blossomed quickly, and although they didn’t have ten years behind them, they did have an instant bond that had grown over the last two race seasons.

Stepping into the shower, Lucie’s mind was still clinging to guilt.

Analysing his recent behaviour, Lucie came to the realisation that Brett had indeed been drinking more.

A few extra beers at dinner, whiskey before bed.

They had spent more vacations in cities and popular tourist spots than in quaint European villages or at luxury spas.

There had been more trips to bars and clubs than trips up mountains.

They’d spent four days at a ski resort in the summer; it was meant to be a hiking trip and he’d only hiked once, which seemed strange for Brett.

He instead opted to drink and admire the view from the restaurant’s balcony.

Alone. He’d called it ‘taking a break’ and she hadn’t paid any mind.

How had she missed this? She should have seen the signs.

This definitely wasn’t just a reaction to her rejection.

She sat on the floor of the shower, letting the water wash over her and ignoring the girls’ knocks for what felt like hours.

Her eyes stung and her skin burned with the heat, but she couldn’t bring herself to get up for the longest time.

Only the knock from room service and the subsequent waft of pancakes brought her out of her spell, and she finally turned the water off.

Faith was right, Julien’s sweatpants did drown her, but she didn’t have the energy to care right now.

If Marco and Julien came to the same conclusion and they mutually agreed Brett needed help, she’d be the one to do it.

Get to the bottom of whatever this was. He would do the same for her if she was in his position.

That was one of the things she loved about the IEC.

They were a family, and nobody had to struggle alone.

She had heard about the drama in other racing championships and could count on one hand the number of scandals she’d heard of within the IEC.

Once drivers were involved with the organisation, it took a lot for them to leave, which gave everyone the chance to build genuine, long-lasting friendships– of course there were always going to be hiccups along the way, but this wasn’t a toxic place.

If Brett needed more help than they could provide, they’d rally around him.

‘Hey, there you are.’ Esme spoke softly as Lucie stumbled out of the bathroom in a daze, the cool air awakening her senses more than the shower had managed. ‘We ordered you granola and fresh orange juice, too. It’s all on Julien’s credit card, take full advantage.’

‘I will.’ Lucie let out a gentle laugh.

‘So, what happened?’

‘I couldn’t wake him up. He was completely unresponsive for far too long, I was close to checking his breathing. And then when I finally got him to surface, he just wasn’t Brett. He was so… so cruel.’

‘You guys didn’t go that wild last night, did you?’ Faith frowned.

‘You were gone when we came back from our hunt for food,’ Bea added.

‘Spotted two empty bottles of JD on my way out. He must have stayed up after I crashed.’

‘Oh… that’s so strange,’ Bea pondered.

‘I’m worried I might have sent him over the edge, or at least rocked the boat. We almost slept together last night.’ She grimaced, waiting for the dramatics.

‘I bloody knew it!’ Faith shouted.

‘That stays between us.’

‘Of course,’ Esme added. ‘But why only almost? You two are so right for each other.’

‘I freaked out, I want more than just sex with a person, so I pushed him away.’

‘Oh…’ Faith trailed off. ‘Lucie Carolan, you’d better not be blaming yourself.’

‘A smidge,’ Lucie shrugged.

‘That’s ridiculous and you know it. This whole drinking thing has clearly been brewing for a while, we’ve all been questioning just how wild he’s been partying.

Especially at the launch, it was so unlike him and you didn’t do anything then.

Here, have some yoghurt.’ Faith thrust a bowl at her. ‘Enough with those thoughts.’

The three of them sat there for another forty-five minutes, stuffing their faces with food and scrolling through Bea’s social media, engaging in mindless gossip about the latest influencer dramas.

The distraction was welcome, but not entirely effective.

Lucie spent most of that time silent, pretending to listen.

She had to keep talking herself out of going back into Brett’s room.

‘I’ve got a text.’ Faith reach for her phone.

She looked up with a smile on her face. ‘He’s perked up a bit, they’ve got him drinking some water and he seems to be sobering up quite fast. Apparently, he’s cracking jokes now and insists he’s fine and had tipped most of the JD down the sink, which makes no sense.

Julien thinks he’s putting on a front, and just doesn’t want to talk emotions.

He also said for you to let Brett sulk for an hour or so before you go in.

He feels really bad and keeps asking for you.

’ Faith continued reading out the key parts of the message, but Lucie was focused on one thing and one thing only.

For the first time in their entire friendship, she was scared of what would come next.