Page 18 of Retrograde

The history-filled streets of Monza passed by in a blur, and Brett let the cool spring air hit him through the open window.

He liked to make an entrance to every team event or race in a fancy sports car, acting as though it was written into his contract.

It wasn’t, it was just written into his personality.

Unlike Julien, who hated showing up in a car like this and preferred to keep things discreet, only ever showing off his car collection when his ancient Range Rover broke down.

Brett had always played into the fame that came with his career, and Faith and Lucie’s social media revamp two seasons ago had been a dream for him.

He liked his privacy, especially where his family was concerned, but he wasn’t afraid to give the fans what they wanted. If he didn’t show up today, he’d be letting them down.

Was Lucie going to murder him when he rocked up at the race he wasn’t supposed to be at?

Most likely. Should he have come back to work so soon?

Well, that was debatable. In Lucie’s eyes it would be a flat-out ‘no’, he shouldn’t have.

But racing was in his blood, he couldn’t miss this, and he definitely wouldn’t miss it for something he deemed unnecessary.

His drinking problem wasn’t life or death at this stage, not in his opinion, and he wouldn’t let it get that far.

To him, every race was equally as important as the twenty-four-hour race at Le Mans.

All eyes were on Revolution Racing this season.

They had started the season with high-tech upgrades, a new livery, they were straight off the back of a championship win, and everyone wanted to see what they could deliver. Brett needed to be part of it.

Jasper had been over the moon when Brett had called a few days ago from the airport and told him he felt well enough to return, but he had made him promise not to tell anyone.

Not because he wanted to surprise the team, but because he didn’t want to get off the plane to a flood of disapproving text messages.

His early return wasn’t a group discussion, it was between him and his boss.

Thanks to his friendship with Marco, who had spent the last few years showing off his home country any chance he got, Brett had begun to consider Italy as his second home.

Belgium was his third. He would love to build a life of his own in rural Europe one day, with mini goats and three, maybe even five dogs.

A horse, if Lucie was still stuck on that dream.

Not that he imagined she would spend the rest of her days there, with him. By the time he was ready to buy some land, settle down and let his career take the back seat, she would probably be married to some Italian guy with ten kids. Brett would be left in the dust.

Brett was a city boy by circumstance but not by choice, so every time one of his friends offered up a trip to their respective hometown to spend time with them and their families and be out in the fresh air, Brett couldn’t say no.

This week was different, though. This week, he wasn’t on uncle duties to Julien’s teenage daughter, Jasmine.

He wasn’t here to bake bread with Marco’s nonna or fix Lucie’s dad’s classic cars.

He was strictly here on racing driver duties.

He had a job to get done, a car to take over the finish line in first position.

Except he had an obstacle in the form of Lucie, who was likely going to verbally destroy him when she saw him in the garage.

Not quite the warm welcome he wanted, but he would suck it up if it meant he still got to play a part in making history with his team.

There were other drivers who deserved a shot, but their time would come.

It just wouldn’t be him making the sacrifice.

Not until he was old and grey and didn’t have the energy any more.

Brett had been with Revolution Racing since the team was founded, and before that he had led smaller teams to victory.

He had raced alongside Julien and Marco since they joined Revolution as a trio ten years ago.

Lucie had always been right there in his pocket, the pair of them attached at the hip from day one.

That was another reason Monza was so special to him. It was where he’d met Lucie when they were eighteen, where he’d opened up to someone outside his family for the first time about his anxiety, and it was where he’d formed bonds that had guided him through some of the rockiest periods of his life.

At the start of every season, he vowed to bring the trophy home not just for the team, but for his dad. Because every time he spun out on track or crashed and got out of the car unharmed, he was convinced his dad was responsible. His guardian angel looking down on him.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the sign for the Autodromo Nazionale Monza and bypassed the hotel, knowing full well that there was no room reserved for him there.

Even Gabriel had failed in all his CEO glory to find an extra bed for one of their star drivers; there were just too many people to cater for and Brett’s room belonged to someone else.

It looked like Lucie was getting a roommate for the week. If she was too angry to even look at him, he’d have to spoon Marco every night. Just as well he and the guys were close.

The circuit was buzzing with activity despite it being days until fans were allowed through the gates.

Brett flashed his ID at security, and they waved him through.

Jasper might be willing to let him drive, but he had to earn back the trust of his team.

The reserve driver had already been let go, which had cost the team an undisclosed amount of money, and Jasper had made it clear he wouldn’t be easily forgiven if he let them down.

On the drive through the paddock towards Revolution’s garage, he swallowed the nerves and listened to Lucie’s favourite song.

It was the one she’d played to calm him down during their first conversation.

He needed that sense of calm again now. There was real potential here that Marco and Julien could kick up a fuss and refuse to race with him.

He didn’t want to go home. He didn’t want to admit defeat.

He was exactly where he should be, although he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to prove to the guys that he was fit to race in the two days until free practice began.

Marco was standing next to the trailer on his phone when Brett pulled up, his mass of brunette curls a familiar sight that immediately put him at ease.

After his teammate’s initial shock dissipated, he flashed him a genuine smile, like he was happy to see him.

Thank heavens for his beloved De Luca. ‘Man, you’re in deep shit. ’

‘Good to see you too, Mars,’ Brett grinned at him.

‘She’s going to go full Rottweiler on you, if Jules doesn’t beat her to it.

’ Marco hugged him once he was out of the car, clapping him on the back.

‘Jasper pulled me aside this morning. Told me you were coming. Julien is being notified now, so… good luck with that one. And Carolan.’ He gestured at Lucie.

He didn’t know where he stood with his friends, but if Marco could forgive him for his behaviour then he figured everyone else eventually would too. Having said that, De Luca had always found it impossible to hold a grudge.

‘Guess I’d better get this out of the way quick. See you later.’ Brett headed into the garage to meet his fate.

There was something about Lucie standing next to his race car in his favourite lavender floral dress that sent Brett’s pulse skyrocketing. His two greatest gifts from the universe, side by side.

She immediately tensed up when she felt his presence behind her and she whipped round to face him, her jaw slack. ‘What the–’

‘Surprise?’ Even Brett noticed the way his voice shook.

‘What are you doing here?’ Her brown eyes gazed up at him through thick lashes.

‘Came to see you.’ Brett placed one hand on the small of her back and he could’ve sworn he watched her physically melt under his touch.

‘I’m flattered, but seriously, Brett. Why aren’t you at home? Sorting yourself out?’ She looked around the garage. Nobody was listening, but still, his deteriorating mental state wasn’t exactly something Brett wanted to shout from the rooftops.

‘I don’t need it, Luce. I caught up with old friends, did some sightseeing. I’m okay. I know my triggers; I know what to do when I feel tempted to drink. I don’t need to sacrifice a race.’

‘Are you sure? It’s only been two weeks, you were supposed to have six weeks off.’ She looked at him hesitantly, not sure whether to trust him. She shouldn’t, considering he was doing something he had never done before, he was lying straight to her face.

‘One hundred and ten per cent. You’re not mad?’ He had braced himself for a major freak-out and a whole lot of hostility, but instead she just looked kind of broken.

‘No. Not right at this second, anyway.’ She was still eyeing him cautiously.

‘Can you stop being so scared I might break and put your arms around me? I missed you.’

She nodded slowly and wrapped her arms around his waist. Brett had forgotten how to live a life without Lucie Carolan, and he didn’t ever want to remember.

She was going to murder him. Verbally. Actually, no, she wasn’t.

She was going to stay cool, calm and collected.

She was just going to run this week like a military operation and keep a very close eye on his behaviour.

If he slipped up even once, or showed any minor indication that he wasn’t okay, she was taking charge of the private jet and sending him back to Sydney.

Verbally assaulting him and voicing her frustrations would do nothing except push him away.

Brett wasn’t the kind of person who took well to criticism, and if he knew how furious she was, he might act out and turn to alcohol. Because let’s face it, two weeks was nowhere near enough time to kick an addiction issue and treat ten-plus years’ worth of deep, emotional trauma.

‘Lucie!’ Faith ran after her, an iced coffee in each hand. ‘Take this.’ She held out the creamy brown liquid, ice cubes rattling against each other.

‘Oh, thank God.’ Lucie heaved a sigh of relief, her eyes practically rolling back in her head as she took a long sip. Caffeine was her guilty pleasure, and it always calmed her down on particularly stressful days.

‘Tell me I didn’t just see Brett?’ Faith’s blue eyes were wide, Lucie’s own concern reflected in them.

‘If I told you that, I’d be lying.’

‘Is he okay?’

‘That’s the thing, I don’t know. I’m not going to know until something happens, and then it will be too late.

I know Brett like the back of my own hand, but even I can’t work out if he genuinely believes he doesn’t need more time and more help, or if he’s lying to me so I let him stay without ratting him out. ’

‘Is Jasper annoyed, do you think?’ Faith glanced at the team’s mobile HQ where Jasper was having a lunch meeting with Julien.

‘Well, he did have a reserve on standby… but he said weeks ago that if Brett wanted to race and he showed up sober and with his head in the game, the seat was his. Brett is an idiot sometimes, but he’s not that stupid. He would never put lives at risk on the track.’

‘No, of course not. If there was even the slightest doubt in Jasper’s mind that Brett was incapable of keeping himself, the car, and everyone else safe, he would be cut from the team. Immediately. Any of the boys would be.’

‘Yep. So, I guess we just have to believe that Brett knows what he’s doing.’

‘So, here’s what we do know. Let’s talk it out.

He’s sober right now, there have been no stories in the press of him out drinking in Sydney, and he’s told you he feels fine.

So as far as he’s concerned, and as far as we are concerned, he’s fit to race.

At least this week. We’ll monitor the situation for each race going forward. ’

‘I guess.’ Lucie bit her lip.

‘He’s got this, Luce.’ Faith placed a reassuring hand on her arm. ‘Just don’t yell at him.’

‘Ha!’ Lucie heaved out a laugh. ‘Trust me, I want to. He’s lucky all I could do was stand and gawk at him.’

‘He does have that effect on women.’ Faith shrugged and was immediately met with narrowed eyes. ‘Okay, okay. Not you, obviously.’ She raised an eyebrow, knowing full well that Lucie definitely did fall into that category.

‘How likely do you think it is that I could convince him to speak to the team psychologist?’ Lucie bit her lip, already knowing it wouldn’t go down well.

‘I say we leave that to Jasper.’

When they rounded the corner, Jasper was embracing Brett in a tight hug.

Their boss didn’t dish out hugs often, and he tended to save them for when a member of his team was going through a hard time.

He was always there when you really needed him.

‘Ladies! Can we make sure we shoot some content with Anderson, today? Maybe copy some video trends or something, keep it light.’

‘Oh, sure,’ Faith agreed.

‘We haven’t announced Woods as the reserve yet, so we won’t have to clarify anything on social media.

He’s here at the track, hovering in the background, but he won’t be featured in any content.

We need to write Anderson into the schedule for the rest of the week.

Now we’ve got our guy back, I also want a vlog of him and the boys.

Second race of the season, team! Let’s get on it!

’ Jasper clapped his hand on Brett’s back and smiled at them.

So that was it, then? It was business as usual at Revolution Racing.