Page 50

Chapter 49

Aria

A s soon as he goes to cut her throat, I scream in panic.

"Don't! Let me talk to you in private," I blurt out, thinking of anything and everything to save her as she attempts to slap his face and push herself up, water splashing over the blood-soaked floor. "Aria... Umm, she wants to talk to you, in...in private."

I know it's me saying those words, but everything is going in such slow motion, it takes me a second to realize. All I can hear are my erratic bursts of breath and the pounding of my heart, rendering me deaf to everything else.

His blank glare regards me as a stranger as he looks me up and down before he snarls.

Tobias tosses Gabriella to the side, sending her sprawling next to Kaleb's corpse. She pants desperately into the ground, her palms holding her up ever so slightly with shaking arms. He raises a questioning brow, crouching down to my level. I stay completely frozen, overcome with both relief and fear. "What did you say?"

Gulping, I look at his hands, elbows resting on his knees; large, experienced, deadly.

I see his middle finger shaking, like a tremor...something he never had before.

Looking up at him, I chew on my bottom lip. The ocean blue of his eyesshines through ever so slightly, the dilated pupils making it nearly impossible to see how beautiful his eyes really are.

Will they be the last thing I see?

He breathes heavily through his nose. "I don't like to repeat myself, Doctor."

I nod, my brows knitting together as I tell myself this is the only way to save my best friend. "Aria… She wants to talk to you." I look down at my fingers hooked on the crate door, ashamed of myself for feeding into this strange obsession of my apparent dissociation. "Away from everyone," I continue without looking at him, my eyes lifting to Gabriella begging me with her desperate gaze.

"No," Gabs chokes out in a groggy, broken tone. I can hear it twisting in her throat as she tries to sit up but struggles from her shock. "Aria, no . Don't you fucking dare."

I feel the tightness in my chest worsening a little as I hear Violetta's whimpers from the cage next to me, pleading with Tobias to stop all of this, that he can't kill his own children because he’ll never forgive himself. My shoulders tense as he snaps at her that he would never harm them, that she's to shut the fuck up.

Against my better judgement, I look at him, trying to stop tears from falling. "You want Aria, don't you?" He nods in response. "If you kill Gabriella, I will never forgive you. Aria will never forgive you."

He sniffs, looking down at Gabs and running his hands through his hair as he drops his head in frustration. My heart nearly blows through my chest as he leans forward to unlock my cage, dragging me out.

"Get in," he orders Gabriella. She complies, crawling through the puddle of blood as quick as her weakened body can push her before Tobias kicks the door shut and locks it.

"If you hurt her or those babies, I will fucking destroy every part of you, Tobias!" Gabriella threatens as he grabs my hand and tugs me out of the room. "Do you hear me?" Her voice is still echoing down the hallway, my heart breaking at her weeping, pleading for him not to hurt me.

He's taking carefully controlled, deep breaths while I follow him, ignoring Gabriella's threats. I get why she's losing it, I really do. This is reckless and dangerous, but what else was I to do? Let her die?

Seeing Tobias lodging the blade into the back of his pants, my eyes widen as I realize I can possibly get us out of here. I just need to somehow get the knife and find enough courage to kill him.

Could I even do that? To save everyone, I need to.

"I want her," Tobias tells me as soon as he slams the door of the small, messy office, pinning me to the wall by the shoulders and glaring into my eyes. "You can't keep her from... You can't... Not from me." I hear his voice breaking, an audible gulp as his hands leave my body and press against the wall on each side of my head. He blinks fast, his jaw tensing, struggling to hold up this act. "I really need her."

A minute passes with him staring at me, searching my face as I struggle to say anything, overwhelmed with horror. I flinch as he pushes off the wall and turns his back to me, running both of his hands through his hair. My eyes drop to the blade poking through his hoodie, and my fingers involuntarily twitch as I work out how I'm going to do this.

I don't want to hurt him.

I care about him, regardless of all the horrible things he has done. I can't turn off my feelings for him, but I need to kill or at least badly injure him so he stops before he kills someone else.

My adrenaline is through the roof, keeping me from passing out from shock while I keep my back glued to the wall. He killed Kaleb. He covered me in blood then was about to kill Gabriella, all so I'd leave with him.

He's a psychopath.

"It is me, Tobias. I am Aria. You don't need to do all this."

He grunts, sitting down on the edge of the desk, looking exhausted, faint purple bags under his eyes. "I have no other option. I refuse to force you to be with me, so it needs to be your choice."

"Threatening to kill the people I care about so I leave with you is forcing me." I sigh as he drops his head, my chest tightening. "You tried to kill my best friend," I whimper, holding the back of my hand to my mouth, still against the wall. "You killed Kaleb..."

"He lied to you and broke your heart." He scoffs, looking up at me. "He's lucky I didn't torture him."

“He lied about having a girlfriend over five years ago. I wasn’t heartbroken.”

“Still fucked you,” he retorts.

I shake my head and drop my hand. "And that right there is one of the many reasons why I can't be with you," I say, crossing my arms as rage rips through me, hoping he can't sense how equally terrified I am as I step forward and point to my chest. "I'm Aria. I'm the person you apparently love. All I ever wanted to do was help you, and you've just made it worse!"

Raising my voice isn't going to help, but I feel so mad, pent-up anger sizzling at my fingertips as they dig into my palms. This man drives me insane. He's dangerous, psychotic, and a pathological liar.

"I don't know what else to do," he replies in a quiet and broken tone, his head down once more. "I can't control you, no matter how hard I try."

"But you do . Look around us," I say, tossing both my arms out to the sides as he looks up, the darkness dimming in his eyes. "This is control. And I don't like it at all. Love doesn't do this, not real love."

"You control me too. I'd do anything you say." He stops me from interrupting him with a huff. "Anything except letting the cops get me and becoming brainwashed until I die. I'd rather be on the end of a noose than be without you."

"Then let us go."

He shakes his head. "I can't."

One more step forward. "Why the hell not?"

He sucks on his bottom lip, his dark lashes lowering. "Why can't you come with me? What's stopping you?"

"If I ran around killing people, became toxic and possessive, drugged you, would you still want to be with me?"

"That's not who you are," he replies, merely a whisper before groaning into his hands. After a few seconds, he lets out a chuckle into his palms "The doctor, though, maybe she would be like that."

"This needs to stop, Tobias. I'm me, there is only one of me, and she's starting to get sick and tired of this psychotic obsession."

Our eyes meet as he snaps his head up, the blues now in full bloom. "That's..." He struggles with his words, shaking his head once. "Fucking hell. I've messed it all up, haven't I? You're going to let Ewan raise my kids, and..." He trails off, shaking his head once more as he shoves a stack of papers off the desk. "Fucking hell. How come he gets everything?"

"You killed people." He doesn't reply; he just shakes his head and launches something off the wall, something I don't seem to react to. "Will you let us go?"

"No, I already said I can't. Justin will be here with Ewan soon anyway."

I feel my soul leave my body, my teeth grinding. "But why not? And what are you going to do to Ewan?" I ask, walking until I'm in front of him, making him lift his head to look up at me. His eyes are wet, his face as white as snow. "Do you want to hurt them all just because you want me? Do you want to lose me even more than you already have?"

"Of course I fucking don't. You don't get it; I have no choice." His face twists, tensing his jaw as he looks to the side, grimacing. "I can't even look at you."

"Why?" I ask with a frown.

"You have another man's blood on you."

My eyes widen, bile rising up my throat. "What?" I ask shakily but he ignores me. I start erratically wiping my sleeve down my face while my stomach turns, painfully scrubbing the material against my face. Kaleb's blood is already starting to dry on my skin, and as soon as I realize it's there, I can smell it. "Oh my God," I say as I wipe harder, my sleeve streaking crimson.

Tobias huffs, standing from the desk and pulling his hoodie off, handing it to me. I try to ignore the flash of abs that appear. "Use this; it's damp from the snow." I stare at the black material in his hand, stepping back and shaking my head. "Hurry up and use it, Aria."

Aria .

I know I shouldn't, but hearing him say my name and not calling me “doctor” makes the tension around me calm a little. He's not full of rage, or even clenching his fists to hold in his anger. He's relaxed, sitting against the desk with a soft expression on his face, and, if anything, he looks nervous.

Tobias looks like he's hurting, struggling emotionally.

He won't hurt me.

"Okay," I say with an uneasiness in my voice, my hand trembling as I take it from him and use it to clean the blood from my face and neck while he stares at his boots. Putting it down on the desk behind him when I'm clean, I glance at him, seeing his bloodshot eyes, the dimple that seems to permanently dent his cheek, his lip secured between his teeth. It makes me sigh and stand back until my body is against the wall once more.

"What happens now then?"

He shrugs. "We wait on Justin to bring Ewan."

"And what do you plan on doing to him?" The words feel like poison on my tongue, making me nauseous. "You're going to torture Ewan until I agree to go with you?"

"I don't know," he replies, taking a deep breath. "I want it to be me who makes you happy, not him. Do you know how it feels? To be me? To be told every fucking day that what you feel isn't real, that it's fake? I try, Aria." I see his chin quiver, and he sucks his bottom lip into his mouth to stop it. "I try to prove it, and it gets blown up in my goddamn face."

Closing my eyes for a long second, I calculate how idiotic I am as I walk to him, resting my trembling hand on his shoulder. "I need you to stay calm and tell me what you feel." My other hand lands on his other shoulder, and I see him tense. "Do you still feel mad with me here, like this?"

He gulps, releasing a harsh breath, trying to stand. "No."

Try harder, Aria. The blade is so close.

Looking up at him through my lashes, I press against his shoulders until he sits back on the desk. "Tell me why I should go with you."

My heart races, trying to keep myself together while I use seduction to get the knife from him. I'm also fighting against the butterflies fluttering in my stomach from being so close to him, close enough to see his hauntingly handsome features I refuse to admit I've missed. "Give me reasons why I shouldn't be afraid of you."

"Because I don't feel that part of me when I'm with you. I'm not perfect by any means, but I don't have the urge to lose it when I'm with you. I feel very...protective of you. I can keep you all safe," he responds, my body going rigid as he lifts a hand and tucks a strand of brown hair behind my ear, leaving his thumb to rest against my cheek. "Do you feel anything for me anymore?"

"Of course I do," I whisper. "But I don't feel safe around you. You just tried to kill Gabriella, you did kill Kaleb, and then what happened back at my apartment..."

I feel the fire burning all over me as he drops both of his hands to my hips. The sensation is wrong, forbidden, and I shouldn't be exploding at the simple touch, especially when he pulls me between his legs and drops his head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so fucking sorry, Aria. I don't want to do this. I don't want to take you or your friends and hurt them just so the girl I love wants to be with me." I hear him choke on a low sob, his body tensing. "This isn't me. Please believe that."

"How do you feel when I do this?" I ask him, changing the subject and running my fingers through his hair, feeling the tension in his muscles under my palm start to lessen. "Do you feel calmer?"

"Yeah," he responds with a mumble and a slow nod. I close my eyes, continuing to run my fingers through his hair while he takes steady breaths, his fingers curling around my hips before completely snaking around the small of my back. "Please come with me."

I don't answer him. I physically can't. Feeling tears welling up and falling down my cheeks, I try to keep my own breathing calm when my eyes fall on the blade poking out from under his shirt as he leans forward, pulling me closer to him.

His breathing is becoming heavy, hot bursts of breath hitting my face. "I don't want to hurt you." His nose nudges mine, tears sliding down his cheeks and puddling at my fingers. "I don't want to hurt our..." He stops, more tears falling with a sharp inhale. "I'm so sorry I fucked up. I wish I could take it all back and be good for you."

I drop one of my hands from his face, resting it on his chest, feeling his heart racing against my palm. "I said I'd stand by you, I swore I would. I still mean it. All we need to do is walk out of that door and get in the car. You can take responsibility for your actions and show our kids you aren't...you aren't the monster everyone paints you to be."

"Do you think I'm a monster?" he asks, his voice breaking with each word. "I don't want to be."

"You just need help, Tobias."

"Could you ever love me again?" he questions me in a heart-breaking tone, his dimples denting while he waits for my response. "Will you let me be part of their lives?"

I don't respond to him with words. Instead, I take a deep breath and press my lips to his, catching him completely off guard as he falls back to sit on the desk once more. We both inhale deeply, groaning in approval as our lips part, moving our tongues in sync, savoring the feeling of something that will never ever happen again.

Because I need to kill him.

I can taste our melded tears each time our lips connect, his murderous hands sliding up my arms, along my collarbones, ending with one in my hair and the other comfortably around my throat as he tilts his head to the side, slanting his mouth, our lips parting once more.

My fingers grip at the material over his chest, and Tobias pulls away from the kiss, making me chase his lips to reconnect them in a desperate plea to keep going. He stands, not breaking contact while he grabs at my thighs, spins, and places me on the desk, standing between my parted legs while I accidentally moan at his hands moving up to my hips.

I'm using my tongue as a weapon, distracting him with each stroke, nearing my end goal.

I just keep getting side-tracked, becoming consumed by him, being completely devoured by a psychotic killer, and I'm enjoying it. This is so wrong…

Focus, Aria.

"I have no idea what you're doing," he says into my mouth, moving his hand to wrap his fingers around my throat again, applying a minuscule amount of pressure to pull us apart. "What are you doing?"

He doesn't give me a chance to reply, his tongue delves back into my mouth while my hands explore his body. I push my palms up his toned chest, ending with my hands wrapped in his hair, tugging a fistful that causes him to groan against my lips and push himself more between my legs, his hand tightening on my throat.

He's a killer.

He just tried to kill your best friend.

"Does this mean you're leaving with me?" he asks, his tone full of hope, smiling against my mouth even though I haven't replied. His fingers pull down the zip of my jacket, and he yanks it to the ground, wrapping his arms around me possessively. He grins at me, pulling down my bottom lip with his teeth until it pops back into place, kissing me again. "You're giving me a chance?"

He isn't Ewan. He's a psychopathic murderer.

I try to pay attention to our mouths moving together while I trail a hand down his back, lowering until I feel the cool metal. I gasp into his mouth and freeze my hand there, basking in the moment before I end it all.

"I won't let them cut the babies out of you, okay? I promise."

I abruptly pull away from him, feeling my eyes nearly bulging out of my head. "What?"

Pushing his hand through my hair, he cups the back of my head and pulls me to him again, the tip of his nose brushing against my cheek while he breathes over my mouth. "Trust me, I won't let anything happen to you. I promise I won't hurt Gabriella or Ewan. Just come with me and let me look after you. I swear to you, I won't do what I did at your place ever again."

He crashes his lips to mine, consuming me while my mind explodes at his revelation. "They'd die," I manage to say through the kiss. "I’m not even in my second trimester.”

He looks lost as he pulls back, his lips swollen, face flushed, breathless before he hardens his expression. My hand falls away from the handle as he shifts me further onto the desk. "I won't let them. Just tell me what I can do to have this. This right here is what I want more than anything."

I can feel the metal once more, and my heart nearly drops that this is our final moment.

"Will you hand yourself over to the cops? That's all I’ll ask of you," I question him one last time as my fingers carefully wrap around the handle. "Will you?" I push for an answer as his brows furrow, searching my face with his head tilted.

My blood turns ice cold, painful shivers running up my spine.

He caught me.

When he drops his head to my chest, both of his hands move to my stomach, making my lips part and gasp in surprise. "You two have the strongest mom ever, and I know she’ll keep you both safe, safer than daddy ever could." He removes one hand, twisting it around his back to grab my hand on the handle of the blade. "But Mommy needs to put Daddy out of his misery now." I hold my breath as he wraps his fingers around mine, pulling the blade free before directing it to press against his spine. "I love the three of you, and I always will, no matter what anyone says, no matter what anyone thinks they know about me. Everything I did, I did because I thought I was doing right by you."

I feel a twist in my gut, my heart nearly stopping, any form of breathing seizing. "Tobias," I choke out his name.

"There are four bags of money buried at the nearby beach. Dig where the painted red stones are and give our kids the best life...one I couldn't."

I grit my teeth to hold myself together. "How do I bring you back? Tell me what I can do instead of this. I want this side of you, not the dark side, not the dangerous side."

Tobias releases his hand from mine, looking up at me through his dark lashes, his electro-blue eyes watering as he stares at me before pressing his lips to my forehead, lingering for a few seconds. "I am who I am, and I can't change that." He sighs and audibly gulps. "I'm tired, Aria. I wanted to give you the world, not destroy yours. Just...just do it."

I gasp out a sob, my body shaking in his arms, moving my other hand so I have two on the handle for more power behind the deadly thrust.

"Promise me they'll know who I am, the real me, the one you once fell in love with."

I nod, our noses touching as our foreheads meet, tears falling down both of our cheeks, my face contorting in ways it never has before. "I'm sorry I couldn't do more to help you." Each breath shakes as I try to stop myself from hyperventilating. "I'm so...s...so sorry."

"You tried."

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and press my lips to his one last time.