Page 22

Chapter 21

Aria

T he airport is busy–we’ve been standing at the check-in for what feels like hours. Gabriella has taken to using her suitcase as a seat while I try to stay awake.

"What did you buy Jason?" Gabs nudges me once more, frowning when I don’t reply. "Hello? Earth to Aria?"

"Sorry. I'm just tired," I reply, running my palm across my forehead. The air conditioning in this airport is doing nothing to stop the heat. "I’ll jump into DutyFree once we go through security and see what I can find for him.”

"What about a souvenir? Or maybe?—”

The buzzing of my phone takes all of my attention, blocking her words out. Quickly, I unlock the screen to see messages from Tobias.

TobiasWork: What the fuck, Aria? You left?

TobiasWork: What did I do?

TobiasWork: Three missed calls.

Guilt takes over me. I left his place a few hours ago. Gabriella picked me up, and we came straight here. I had no idea how to say goodbye, so I wrote him a note that basically said if I ever visit again, I’ll hit him up.

"Oh God." I lift the screen for Gabs to see, and she raises her brows. "What do I say back?" I ask, chewing on my bottom lip. “I didn’t even wake him to say goodbye.”

She shrugs, repositioning her glasses to hold her grown-out bangs from her face. "Do you still want to talk to him? I mean, I told Justin it was done before he left for work this morning, and he understood. Did you not explain to him that when you left, that was it—done?"

"It was supposed to be just sex anyway."

"When is it ever?" she asks, and we continue walking until we reach the food court, taking a seat next to one of the stores and waiting for Doctor Shique. He’s always late. "It's better to be honest, Aria."

Looking down at my screen, I see five missed calls and countless messages. I read the most recent, my heart sinking.

TobiasWork: I know I'm not the easiest person to be around, Aria. I can be a dick and I'm sorry. Please answer the phone so I can talk to you, I'm losing my mind here. Please tell me what I did.

I have no idea what to say to him, because he didn’t actually do anything. I'm still battling in my head whether I should stay in contact, see how things go, or block him and forget this ever happened.

I like Tobias–I really like him. But there are so many issues with us being together. Plus, how do I tell him that although I feel something for him, I still feel for Ewan?

I close out his messages and pull up Ewan's, asking if he's available for a call. I need to figure out what we’re doing about Jason. I want to see him, maybe have him over for a sleepover with Gabriella so we can play board games and watch movies.

I can't help it; I've been in Jason's life for years. We grew extremely close over the years, even after Ewan and I split for good. He's not my biological child, but he's very important to me, and I couldn't imagine my life without him.

"Hello?" Ewan answers on the third ring, making me side-eye Gabs as she clicks away on her screen. I tap her shoulder and point to the store, telling her I'll be back in five minutes.

"Hi, um...I was going to get a gift for Jason. Anything in particular he would like?"

He lowers his voice to a whisper. "He's next to me. Two seconds." I hear shuffling around, beeping in my ear indicating another message from Tobias, I slide the notification bar down, seeing loads of question marks. "You don't need to bring him anything back."

Walking through one of the gift stores, I lift up a snow globe, trying to hold back a smile when I see palm trees inside, little specs of fake snow floating around in it. "It's okay. I found him something he'll love. I wanted to ask you a favor, though."

"Anything," he replies, clearing his throat and repeating the word with less desperation.

"Don't tell my mom or dad I'm coming back yet if they ask. I kind of need some time alone before I start back on Monday." Images of my parents crowding me…it's not something I can handle right now. They are both high profile scientists, and anything I do with my career never seems good enough in their eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asks when I'm unable to hide the tremble in my voice, my lip involuntarily shaking.

"Of course."

"You sound a bit off. Surely you're not still scared of flying?" He laughs, making me fight back a smile and a sob.

Thanking the cashier, I grab my receipt and lean my back against the coolairport wall, standing at the entrance of the store. I see Gabriella as she talks on the phone, waving to Doctor Shique across the food court.

"I couldn't save her," I say, a lump forming in my throat, nearly suffocating me as I try to continue. "Trial failed. They sent Ivy home so they can just..." I look up, a lone tear escaping down my cheek, and I wipe it away with my hand. "They just want to continue to treat her symptoms."

He takes a deep breath. "I’m so sorry, Aria. I know she's important to you. Please don't hate yourself. You do more than any other specialist, and Ivy is lucky to have you."

The corner of my mouth tugs up, but my heart is shattering. "I came here for Ivy, and instead of solely focusing on her, I got too caught up with—" I stop myself. Ewan doesn't need to know everything I've been doing. "I just feel like I should've done more."

Typical Aria, looking for comfort from my ex. But right now, he seems to be the only one who can actually calm me down, listen to me without interrupting, letting me vent until my throat goes dry. I don't need him in a passionate, loving way; I need him as a friend.

"Look, Aria?—"

"The plane's boarding. Let's go!" Gabriella appears beside me, cutting off whatever Ewan is about to say. "Is that Toby?"

I hang up as soon as the words leave her mouth and shake my head no, hurrying next to her as we make our way through the terminal. "It was Ewan. I was asking about Jason."

"Damn. I hope he heard me. You know, so he gives up trying to win you back.”

She gives me a knowing look, and I ignore her, showing my pass to the flight attendant before walking onto the plane and taking my seat next to the window. Staring out, a strong feeling of failure floods through me, making me bite down on my lip and lean my head back against my seat.

My phone vibrates once more. Another message comes through, Tobias again.

TobiasWork: I’m going to fix myself. Gabriella was right. I’m not good enough for you. But I’m going to be better. Just tell me I still have a chance. I miss you.

My eyes flash over at Gabriella. “Did you say this?”

I show her the screen, and she waves her hand nonchalantly. “I was messing around.”

Knowing her, she was brutal. I need to calm Tobias down before he truly does appear in Scotland.

Me: I have no idea what she said, but that’s not true. The only reason this has to end is because I’m not ready for anything serious. I’m sorry.

Then, against everything within me, I block his number and cut him out of my life altogether. It’s for the best. We had no chance.

I used him yet started to fall for him in the process, so this is me safeguarding myself. Besides, I need to go home and face the music of Ewan and Jason, figure out what my future holds.

Part of me dreads having to tell Ewan someone else had my time while in America, but then again, he gave his time to someone else while we were still together.

I wipe a tear slipping down my cheek and rest my head against the window.