Page 31

Chapter 30

Aria

" A ddiction can drive people down different roads."

"But she isn't an addict. Someone did this to her," I hear Gabriella reply to the doctor, raising her voice with each word. "Her boyfriend did this."

"Assumptions are also something that shouldn't be thrown around so lightly. If that is the case and you have proof, then he needs to be reported. My job is to make sure the patient's health is seen to. I need to run some more blood tests," the man replies, followed by a door closing and someone muttering under their breath.

Keeping my eyes closed, I listen to every word.

"Did you get little Jason to our sitter, Ewan?" I hear my dad ask, and my heart starts to race at the memories flooding me. “He’ll be excited. She hasn’t seen him in a few months.”

“Yeah,” he replies. “I didn’t even get a goodbye when he ran into the house.”

My parents have staff who work in the manor, and one of them, an older lady named Francis, bonded with Jason throughout our relationship. She would babysit him when we went out for date nights, and he always hung out with her at the house when I went to see my mom and dad.

Wait. Does that mean Ewan is here? Tobias didn’t find him?

I'm weak. I've been drifting in and out of sleep for hours. Every time the doctor tries to speak to me, I can't grasp what's real and what's not, tumbling back into a deep, dark hole in my mind. I listen to my surroundings, the clock ticking so loud, it hurts, water running from the sink across from my hospital bed because Gabs can't seem to go half an hour without washing her hands. Mom complaining that she wants to go home, Dad telling her to shut the hell up.

There's one voice I want to hear, one person's face I want to see, and I know after my slip-up, Tobias will be done with me.

Why does it hurt so much?

"She should know," I hear Ewan say to someone. "I don't know why you're shaking your head like that, Dolores. Can you stop being stuck up for one minute? She's your fucking daughter, and all you keep doing is complaining that you want to leave."

"Watch your tone, young man," my mom snaps at him. "I didn't raise her to become some junkie?—"

"Don't you dare speak about her that way!"

My eyes ping open in shock at Ewan raising his voice. Blurry vision welcomes me to the hospital room. Everyone's crowding my bed, perched in chairs as Mom scowls at him for snapping at her, something she takes from no one.

"Aria!" Gabs says in surprise, leaning over and grabbing my hand as a sign of comfort. "How are you feeling?"

Croaking, I try to speak, but it turns into a coughing fit as Ewan also leans forward and pats my back, offering me his bottle of water. I shake my head, turning away from him as my eyes meet Gabriella's honey-coloured ones. "What's going on?" I ask with a break in my voice, trying to clear my throat once more.

"I'll explain soon. You’ve been asleep for over twenty four hours. Tell me how you’re feeling.”

Mom stands from her chair, shaking her head at me in disappointment as she walks out, my dad following her, begging her to stay and hear me out. "What's her problem?"

"She’s being her usual self," Ewan says, leaning forward, his arms on the railing of the bed, expression unreadable. "How do you feel?”

I want to ask him what happened between us. I want to know why I have a memory of us sleeping together, and it frightens me that an enormous part of me has no idea if that scares me or if it brings me relief.

One of the doctors comes in, pulling out his pen from his clipboard. "Ahh, you’re awake, Miss Miller. Can you both give us a minute?" He gestures to the door as Gabriella and Ewan give me one last look before leaving. "It's good to see you with a little warmth to your face. You’ve been quite pale." He smiles at me, tucking the clipboard under his arm. “How do you feel?”

“My head hurts.”

He pulls down the rails on each side of my bed, adjusting the speed of the IV drip. "You were dehydrated when you came in. We’ll let this run through your line and disconnect you," he says, bringing a chair closer and crossing his ankle over his knee. "Now, tell me what’s been going on.”

"Nothing." I don't know what else to say. In all honesty, the past few weeks have been strange. Right now, it seems to be the first time I've been able to think clearly enough to form a full sentence that isn't mumbled or rehearsed. “I don’t know. Everything is slow and fuzzy.”

"And how long have you been taking unprescribed Clozapine?"

"Clozapine?" I echo him, tilting my head in confusion. I narrow my eyes to slits to try to look at the paperwork. "What do you mean?"

"You had high levels of it in your system." He looks at me, placing his pen on his clipboard. "For someone who has no mental health issues, I'm deeply concerned, Aria. We’ve had a check over your heart, but we may need to do further scans to ensure there isn’t any swelling of your muscles. Your blood pressure was extremely low when you were brought in. It still is, but not in any way dangerous." He sighs. “Why were you taking it?”

“Are you sure it’s Clozapine?”

“We did a full blood panels yesterday, and you have a high level of it in your system. We will need to keep you admitted and monitored for a few more days.”

I gulp and nod, saying the word to myself.

Clozapine—one of the strongest forms of antipsychotic medication. It's used only when everything else fails for people with schizoaffective disorders and extreme levels of psychosis. So why the hell is it in my system?

My lips are moving, but no sound comes out, my heart plummeting while he stares at me. A few moments of silence follow, and I clear my throat. "I didn't...I didn't know I was?—"

“I understand.” He stands, noting something on his clipboard. “I’m going to go over your observations and let you get some more sleep.”

"Okay." I feel tingles crawling up the back of my neck, a cold sensation trailing down my cheeks as all the blood drains from my face. "Can I ask Ewan to come in?"

He nods, settling the paperwork on the seat next to him and getting Ewan's attention. "Take a seat."

With Ewan staring at me, I see him take in my pale face and watering eyes, giving me a tight smile. "Are you okay to sit with me?" I ask.

He agrees, resting his arms on the edge of the hospital bed as the doctor checks my temperature, my heart with his stethoscope, my blood pressure, writing down the results. “Still low. I’ll get another IV bag sent in once this is done. I'll need to arrange an ultrasound to make sure the baby is okay.”

I choke on air, my hand gripping Ewan's with a harsh hold.

"Baby ? "

"Hey," Ewan groans, stretching from his slumber and looking around the room, then at me. "Have you just woken up?"

I nod and smile. "Just a minute ago.”

“You’re looking more alive. Do you still feel nauseous?”

I shake my head and twist the bedding in my fingers, looking down at my flat stomach and wondering how the hell a baby is in there.

“You didn't need to stay here with me."

He shrugs, standing and walking to the foot of the hospital bed while he stretches his arms above him. My eyes drag down the length of him, averting my gaze to the wall when he notices. "I don't mind. Jason's staying at your parents’ place for a few days anyway."

"I'm surprised they even showed up," I say, rolling my eyes and tucking my hair behind my ear. I look at him, chewing down on my bottom lip as I see how deflated he is. "Thank you."

"What for?"

I raise a shoulder, fighting back yet another flood of tears. "I...I just don't know why you're still here."

"I already told you, I don't mind," he replies, pulling his hat on to control his wavy brown hair.

I shake my head, causing him to frown at me, his face full of confusion. "I mean with everything. We split up, and you're still helping me– why? Why do you allow me to run to you whenever I need you?"

Sitting on the chair closest to the bed, he leans his elbows on the edge, running the pad of his thumb along his bottom lip a few times while he thinks. "Look, Aria. I've been in love with you for years, and nothing I do, or you do, will ever change that." I stay silent, my eyes searching his face, wanting him to continue. "I made some really, really bad mistakes when we were younger, and I need to live with that. But if you need me? Of course, I'm going to be here for you." He grabs my hand, cupping it between his. "I know all this is pretty fucked, and I know you're scared, but no matter what, I'm with you the entire way."

I smile at him as a tear falls down my cheek. "You've wasted so much time trying with me, Ewan. I appreciate it, but I refuse to drag you into all of this with me. You and Jason deserve to find someone who isn't some idiot like me."

"Lies," he says with a chuckle in his thick Scottish accent, and my eyes drop to the top of his chest tattoo poking up from his collar. "Aria Miller has always been good enough for me. But that’s not why I’m here. I’m here because I care about you and I’m worried."

“I’m pregnant,” I whisper, pressure building behind my eyes.

He nods slowly.

“And it isn’t yours.” There’s sadness in my tone. “How can I be with you since I was a teenager and fall pregnant by someone else?”

“Hey,” he says in a comforting tone, taking my hand. “Don’t cry. I’m here regardless.”

“Why aren’t you running the other way?”

"Everything you’ve done for me and Jason, what kind of man would I be to leave you to do this by yourself?"

"It's not a favor for a favor, Ewan. I wanted to help you with Jason because he's a part of you," I reply. "I don't even have a clue what's going on in my own life, so it would be wrong of me to drag someone else into it." I pull away from his hold on my hand, leaning forward to hug my knees. "I'm just a lost cause now. Jason and you deserve better."

"If you ever speak about yourself like that again, I'll hunt that bastard down myself and hang him from a bridge." I huff at his threat, and he stands abruptly. "He's lucky I'm not out hunting him down right now."

“Why are you blaming this on Tobias?”

His eyes narrow, and then he huffs. “Gabriella didn’t tell you?” When I shake my head, he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Your boyfriend is on medication. A heavy dosage at that. One of those being Clozapine.”

“You think he drugged me with it?”

“I don’t think. I know he did. Gabriella is already working on a report to hand over to the cops.”

My body goes stiff, and I have an urge to yell at him, but I stop myself. Because it makes sense. Everything. The fact Tobias even takes that drug in the first place. Everything just clicks.

I feel sick at the idea he tricked me so badly.

Did he switch out my pill? How the hell did he get me pregnant?

In all honesty, I’ll be in disbelief until I have my scan. It could be a false positive, or maybe I’m far along and Ewan is the father.

But I’ve had my period recently.

I hug my knees tight and swallow hard. “I’m sacred.”

“I know, baby. But we’re all here for you.”

Hearing a knock at the door, we both snap our heads in the direction of it cracking open, a nurse popping her head in to let us know visiting hours are almost over. I turn to Ewan, giving him a tight smile as I note how angry he's getting. "You should go. Get a night of proper sleep and message me when you're awake."

"Okay," he responds, standing and pulling on his jacket and shoes, shocking me as he leans down to place a soft kiss on my forehead. Tingles run up my arms and my neck at the contact, and I do my best not to show it affected me by hiding my blush.

As soon as he’s gone, I pull out my phone from under the pillow, fully intending on confronting Tobias and telling him to get the hell out of my life, but my blood runs cold when I see the notifications.

TobiasWork: Ten missed calls.

TobiasWork: I know what’s happening, and please don’t be worried. I can fix this. Come and meet me at the underground footpath next to the hospital. Don't be mad at me. Everything I'm doing is for you. You'll understand when I explain.

TobiasWork: I love you.

"Oh my God, Aria!" I jump out of my skin, dropping my phone as Gabriella blows through my doorway with my work laptop to hand. "Look," she continues, settling it on my lap. I scan the words on the screen, my eyes widening at its contents. "You did it. Ivy got accepted into the new trials thanks to you! She flies out to Denmark on Wednesday, but because of everything going on, they've allocated your assistant Margaret to go with her. But Aria... She got in!"

"Gabriella," I begin, choking on my words. I'm in shock, to be honest. I didn't think they'd accept her, but with extensive research and working my ass off, I put up a good enough fight to get her accepted. By the looks of the plan, she has a high chance of a better quality of life.

She hugs me, and we both cry tears of joy, laughing in delight at the incredible news. I reread the last part, congratulating me, Aria Miller, for putting my whole heart into this.

"See, this is who you are. This is why you need to fight against everything that's going on. There are loads of children just like Ivy who need someone to fight for them, and you are one of the few who goes above and beyond. But look, it worked! And you have an email from her mom too, thanking you a thousand times."

My chest swells with the feeling of pure satisfaction, the reason I love my job. I look at my best friend, the joy in her eyes and the way she is so proud of me everything a person can ever hope for. It's not often you come across an individual who cheers you on, cries with you for your successes. She's not just my best friend; she's like my sister, and I love her.

"Can you come to the ultrasound with me tomorrow?"

She snorts, closing my laptop. "I was coming anyway."