Page 32

Chapter 31

Aria

" I 'm going to fucking kill you."

I roll my eyes while Gabriella yells through the phone at me, cursing at me for slipping out of the hospital. I have countless missed calls from her, Ewan, and my parents, all trying to find me. I only responded to Gabs because I thought she would understand my plan and why I need to do it.

She doesn't.

"Are you trying to get yourself institutionalized? You're being monitored, Aria. You sneaking off without telling anyone isn't going to help you keep your job secure either." She raises her voice with each word, and I fight the urge to hang up. "Everyone on our ward thinks you're having a mental breakdown as it is, so running off isn't winning you any points."

I ignore her because she's right, but if I sit around and plead that I'm innocent in abusing something as dangerous as antipsychotics,I will regret not trying this.

I had messaged Tobias when Gabriella left to go get me something to eat. I told him I'd meet him, that I wanted answers. He called me. His tone was very low, each word that left his mouth coming across as apologetic because he knows I know what he has been doing to me for weeks.

"He won't hurt me," I say, wrapping my jacket around me tighter, feeling the coldness of the November weather. I can see my bursts of breath, feel the icy air filling my lungs as I make my way down to the underpass next to my place. "If he wanted to hurt me, he would've by now."

"Are you fucking listening to yourself? Look at everything that asshole has done...and you are still that delusional to think he won't hurt you?" I hear Ewan in the background, a door closing as he greets Gabs. "She left the hospital to meet him."

I stop in my tracks, my eyes shutting momentarily as I hear his protests and curses spewing through the phone. "I'm hanging up now."

"No! Aria, it's me," Ewan says, causing Gabriella to huff and tell him she's going to call my parents. "Where are you?"

"I need answers," I tell him, stopping and sitting on a small wall about five minutes from the underpass.

"And you think it's safe to go see him? Come on, Aria," he sighs. "You're smarter than this. Please tell me where you are. I'm heading to my car now."

"Do you trust me?"

I hear him exhale deeply, probably running his hand through his hair and dropping his head. "Yeah," he replies quietly. "I don't trust him. What do you expect to happen?"

"I'll be fine."

"Hang up," I hear a deep voice behind me, his voice, and all the confidence evaporates from me, replaced by instant fear that has all the hairs rising on the back of my neck. I stand, turning, and I’m met with the bluest eyes burning into me. "Hang up. Now."

"No, Aria, don't hang?—"

Tobias whips my phone out of my hand, hanging up on Ewan. "Took your time," he says, giving me a smirk as he steps forward, tucking my phone into his back pocket.

"Give me that back," I snap at him, reaching out my hand. He shakes his head at me, taking my arm and walking us into the underpass.

His grip is firm, and I try to squirm away from him the best I can. He stops when we have made our way to the other side of the path, where it's dark and secluded. "You're hurting me."

Tobias releases my arm, turning me to face him. "We don't have much time," he begins, and I frown at him, stepping back as he attempts to take my hand in his. "You're afraid." Tilting his head at me, he takes in my shaky posture and my watering eyes from fear. "No, no, no, Aria... Don't be afraid of me." He cups my cheeks in his palms and rests his forehead against mine, my body rigid. "Please don't be afraid of me. I’m the last person on Earth who would harm you."

"You're a monster," I state, finding enough courage to shove him away from me. "I can't take it anymore, Tobias." Panic takes over him, and all the blood drains from his face, his lips moving, no words leaving his mouth. "Clozapine..." I nod my head as his eyes widen. "Yeah, you asshole!"

"You needed help. I was just?—"

"No! You have fucked my life up so badly, the last thing I need is your help. I just spent days in the hospital trying to flush all of it out of my system."

He stays silent, and rage builds up around me so intensely, I throw my hand at him, slapping him hard enough that his face jerks to the side, his glasses falling to the ground.

Taking in deep, heavy breaths, I try to stay calm as his eyes darken, narrowing to slits as he turns his face to me. He backs me against the wall of the underpass, crushing his glasses under his shoe as his nostrils flare with fury.

"I deserved that," he says, making me flinch as he tucks my hair behind my ear. "But if you ever hit me again..." He leans in, his mouth inches from mine. "I won't let it slide. I’ll cage you for the rest of your life and feed you my cock." He presses his lips to my forehead, my eyes fluttering shut for a moment. "We need to go."

"I'm not going anywhere with you," I say as he turns, causing him to freeze in his steps. "You can't drug me, leave me tied to a bed, mess with my life, then expect me to just forgive you."

"I gave you those pills to help you, Aria. You were stressed out, and it was the only thing I could think of to help." He huffs, impatiently tilting his head to a car parked under a streetlight in the distance. "Move."

“Gabriella said the medication was yours. Is that right?”

The silence is killing me. He’s not even looking at me as he tries to stay calm.

"Say it to my face, Tobias. Say you drugged me with it. Clozapine is an antipsychotic medication for?—"

"I know what they are." Interrupting me abruptly, he blows out his cheeks, watching me. “I know what they fucking are.”

I cross my arms in front of me, my fear washed away by the building anger, that annoying part of me battling with my mind to just go with him. "Were they yours?"

I don’t know why I so badly need a confession, maybe to make myself feel better and not question what everyone else is saying. I need him to admit that he’s a bad person. It would make it easier to leave him.

"If I tell you, will you hurry up and get in the fucking car?" I watch as he chews on his bottom lip in frustration, his nose scrunching up. "They didn't work on me and it's because I'm not sick, Aria. There's nothing wrong with me and there's not a thing that you, my parents, or any fucking doctor says will change that."

"You drugged your own girlfriend, Tobias. You swapped them with my birth control pill just so?—"

"No, I didn't. Why would I switch them with your fucking pill?" he questions me, taking a few steps until he's in front of me again. "You were drinking heavily. I covered every bottle you bought, right down to the milk, coffee filters. I had to pretend I had gone home so you wouldn't notice."

My jaw tenses, my twitchy hand trying its best not to slap him again. "And you claim you're not sick? Do you know what happens when you drink alcohol with that type of medication?"

"Of course I do. Why do you think I wasn't drinking before?" he replies, shrugging.

"Are you kidding me?" I yell, shoving his chest once more, causing him to back away. "I'm done. Stay the hell away from me."

I turn away from him, storming down the path as he catches up to me, circling his arm around my waist. "Let me explain," he says breathlessly, resting his forehead on my shoulder while I slap his hands, giving up after a long minute. "Don't leave."

With a trembling lip and tears falling down my cheeks, I place my hands over his on my waist, interlacing our fingers so I can pull his arms away from me. I turn to him, watching him chew on the inside of his cheek as he blinks rapidly. "I’m still dizzy and my migraine won’t go away, and my blood pressure is so low. And it’s all your fault.”

"I was helping you," he repeats, this time quietly. My eyes shut as the words fall from his mouth as if they are nothing, my heart accelerating. "I meant it when I said everything I'm doing is for you." His palms press against the sides of my face, and he dips his head until the tips of our noses touch. "I love you, Aria. I will do anything for you."

"But you can't," I sob, dropping my head to his chest as I allow the flood of tears to fall. "You can't love me the way I need you to.” I wrap my arm around him, and he holds the back of my head as silence hangs between us. “You don’t hurt people you love the way you’ve hurt me.”

My body shakes in his arms, trying to distract him with my tears while I attempt to get my phone from his back pocket, failing as he pulls us apart and grabs my hand.

"Come with me." He looks hopeful, lifting my hand to his mouth and kissing my knuckles. "I won't force you, but if you're coming, we need to leave now, or we'll miss it."

I’m not sure of what he’s capable of, and because a toxic side of me likes seeing him again, I don’t push him away when he presses his lips to mine, kissing him back as I feel myself sinking against his body.

I’m a traitor to myself. I woke up next to a sleeping Ewan earlier and felt safe. Now, I’m wrapped up in a psychopath who just drugged me and got me pregnant, and I’m letting him kiss me.

"Miss what?" I ask against his mouth, his fingers lacing through my hair.

He doesn't reply. He just holds my small body against his large frame, towering over me as his tongue rolls along mine, kissing me hard. I groan into his mouth, feeling his teeth nip my bottom lip before pulling away.

"If we get the boat to Ireland, no one will find us." I stare at him in disbelief, holding my breath as he nods at me, agreeing with himself. "Yeah, that way, no one can stop us from being together. Don't you see what they're all doing? They are taking you away from me. I don't let go of what's mine."

"I...I don't have my passport."

"I do. It's in the bag I packed." He grabs my hand and walks us to the car. I stay completely silent, thinking of ways to get out of this but not doing anything that would make him react. "I went to your place the other day, and you were gone. I figured one of those jerks got a hold of you. So, I came up with a plan, a way for us to be happy without me having to kill Ewan. By the time I got back from arranging everything, you were taken to the hospital."

He opens the passenger side door and gestures for me to get in.

"I can't leave," I protest.

"Sure you can," he replies, groaning as I shake my head. "Get in the fucking car, Aria." His snappy tone makes me jump, resulting in me settling in the passenger seat and buckling my belt while he slams the door. "I have a hotel nearby. We can go there until the next boat."

Okay, think, Aria. Think of ways to get out of this. I could grab the steering wheel while we're driving, but that could harm the baby. Oh God, I can't do anything without my phone–unless I try to steal his? Would he hurt me if I tried? Would he hit me? Should I tell him I’m pregnant, or will he do something to the baby?

I look at him, his glasses long gone, a hard look on his face, and decide not to mention the fact I’m carrying his child. I’ll tell him eventually, but only when I’m safe.

We reach the hotel half an hour later, a small bed and breakfast situated next to the water, a ten-minute drive from Stranraer's boat terminal.

He helps me out of the car, and I can't contain my trembling as he makes his way through the reception, my eyes on the lady, begging her silently to help me. She takes no notice, typing away on her computer with her glasses falling halfway down her crooked nose.

"When did you get discharged?" he asks as he opens the door for me, pulling my jacket off my shoulders.

"I didn't."

Frowning, he takes off his own jacket, placing them both down on the chair next to the door. "What do you mean, you didn't? My girl is becoming ruthless."

I don't respond, because my eyes are glued to the beautiful hotel room: a four-poster bed with roses spread across the bed.

Is he trying to be romantic? While trying to kidnap me?

"It's the only room they had left," he says, as if he can read my thoughts. "I'll put your bag in the bathroom so you can shower and change."

I watch him nervously walking around, not giving me any eye contact and fumbling with the straps of the bag. He turns his back to me to place stuff on the bed, and I spot my phone again.

Hugging myself, I swallow.

"You should probably get out of those clothes, since they're wet from the rain."

I need him to take his clothes off. I need to get my phone back.

Yes, he's very evidently mentally unwell. Yes, he needs help. And yes, I know he has done some awful things to me. But I can't just erase my feelings. The butterflies flutter in my core as he looks at me, thinking my comment about undressing is for something sexual.

"Do you think we have time to?" he asks, walking to me and stroking his knuckles down my arms. The tingling feeling goes straight between my legs, making my breath hitch.

"Time to what?"

He bites on his bottom lip, reaching for the strap on my shoulder and slowly pulling it down. My breathing becomes uneven, my legs crossing from the intensity of his touch alone. His cheek grazes mine as he whispers in my ear. "Do we have time to fuck?"

"Under one condition," I say, pressing my hands to his chest as I walk him back to the edge of the bed, making him sit down. "Tell me everything you’ve done to me."

He groans as his hands grab at my hips, pulling me to straddle his lap. "Hmm, no. I don't think I will."

I shrug, attempting to stand from him, yelping as he pulls me back down. "You want me?" I ask, wrapping my hands in his hair and tugging it so I can nip at his neck.

"More than you know," he replies breathlessly.

I grind against him, taking a deep breath and hoping he buys into it. I press my lips to his, taking full control as my tongue pushes through his parted lips and runs along his.

He breaks away from the deep kiss after a few minutes, both of us panting.

“Tell me you’re not mad at me.”

“I’m not a liar,” I reply against his lips.

“Just…tell me…”

Moving my hips against him has his words broken. I feel his cock hardening, and I sense my plan starting to vanish as my emotions take over. I'm desperate for him, all of him, and I know it's wrong, completely dangerous, making me want him even more.

I whimper as his mouth attaches to my throat, sucking on the skin as his hand trails up my spine, grabbing the nape of my neck, his lips moving to mine. "I do love you, Aria." He stops my movements, seriousness taking over his face. "It might be different, but I feel for you in ways I've never felt before. Tell me it’s enough."

My heart shouldn't be breaking for him. My body shouldn't be reacting to him. My mind needs to turn back on so I can put a stop to this clouded judgement. I know, deep down, who I love, who I want, and who I should be sitting on right now. He's currently looking for me.

The realization has me pausing.

"Why do you have those meds, Tobias?"

He shakes his head, looking to the side. "I don't want you to be afraid of me." I watch his throat bob, swallowing hard. "Everyone fears me, but you don't look at me the way they all do."

"Who?"

"Everyone," he responds, looking back to me. "You spent a brief moment in my world, you've experienced a fraction of the things I feel on a daily basis, and you couldn't handle it." I feel my eyes watering, sucking in my raw bottom lip as Tobias continues, my heart breaking in two. “I don’t want to talk about me anymore.”

“Fine.” I shove his chest so he lies down on the bed, positioning myself above him so I can feel him against me once more, my hand firmly gripping his throat. "Are you going to fuck me or not?"

Please let my plan work . If I can just slip my phone from his pocket and run to the bathroom, I can get help. I can get Tobias help too.

"Hmm, I love it when you're demanding," he says, rubbing his hands up my thighs, raising his hips to press his hardness against me. "Are you going to ride my face, Doctor? I haven’t had my tongue in your pussy for a while."

I allow him to pull my shirt off and unclip my bra, butterflies going wild in my stomach. Between my legs is soaking, only building as he sits us up and kisses me, my mind shutting off.

Oh, God. I need to stop before I give in.

I allow him to consume me by kissing me hard. We get as far as our pants coming off before I stop us. “Wait here,” I demand, his fingers about to curl into my panties to touch me. “Give me a minute.”

I manage to slide my phone free from his pants without him noticing, thankful it’s dark. I kiss him until he’s lying on his back, seeing how hard he is in his boxers.

I keep the phone hidden as I rush to the bathroom.