Page 44

Chapter 43

Aria

I feel the sweat running down my back, the thump of my heart rattlingmy chest. My hands shake as I sign off on the statement for the investigators. Four hours of questioning, repeating myself, crying, and allowing them to talk down to me about my relationship with Tobias, I eventually ask to be excused, my lawyer agreeing as he locks his briefcase next to me.

Tobias is now being charged with assault against Ewan, theft, breach of prison, and not two murders, but three . I disclosed the whereabouts of the worker’s body and sent the officers to the lodge that was burned to a crisp, the body along with it.

If not for the worker's dental records, they'd never have been able to identify him. Justin is being charged with attempted murder against me and my babies, but both of them are ghosts in the night, vanished from the streets, spotted rarely over the past few weeks.

My car was found near the shack, and a trail of footprints was traced to a nearby motorway, where it ends. All my wheels were punctured, my windows smashed, my phone, purse, and any money I had gone.

For apparently being rich, Tobias robbed me of everything. My bank was emptied, all my accounts at null. That's a separate issue being dealt with. A random man was seen at an ATM at the border of Scotland and England, lifting as much as possible from my bank. Justin, a day later, maxed out my credit card at the same bank machine.

I haven’t even bothered to get a new phone. I'm happy with using Ewan’s old one and having the people around me I need.

Ewan offered to pay my half of the rent, and to be honest, I couldn't refuse him. My parents would never help, so I wouldn't lower myself to even ask. He has been my saving grace, driving me to work when the police escorts forget, hiding me from news reporters, staying over when Gabriella has a late shift, chatting on the phone with me in the middle of the night when I can't sleep.

"We will be in contact, Aria," the investigator says, raising his eyebrows at me and folding up his paperwork. "We will have a patrol car outside your house. I know you get escorts to work and back, but we can't take any chances of them coming after you. I believe Tobias Mitchell will strike when we least expect him to."

I nod once, feeling the tingles run up my spine, my nerves still shattered from the way they spoke to me. I think I might burst out crying as soon as we walk out of this room. "Thank you," I reply, making my way down the narrow hallway and out of the police station to the busy main road.

"Oh, and congratulations on the news," my lawyer announces behind me, tilting his head down. "I'll let you know what happens next and just...be safe." He walks away, giving me a tight smile mirroring my own.

I'm still a bit sore, but the doctors were happy to discharge me the second week, giving me strict orders to rest but not stay in bed. After plenty of relaxing, I wanted to get back to normal and feel somewhat useful.

I see Ewan pull into the parking lot after ten minutes of waiting in the snow, and I feel all the butterflies replace the twisting tension in my gut. It's ridiculous that I can even feel this way, considering I've been with him every day for the last three weeks.

He knows what happened.

And for some reason, he’s still here.

The four of us have been kind of inseparable. Gabs, Ewan, Jason, and I all binge movies and series while the school is off for their break. The dogs have loved sleeping in my bed, curling up at my feet every night.

I've not heard a single word from Tobias, and I'm ashamed to admit I intentionally didn't block him from my phone for a week so I can contact him if I need to. But my better judgement has finally kicked my ass and made me see sense: I have no reason to speak to him. I mean, he told Justin to kill me, which could have killed his own babies.

Our twins.

It took me nearly a week to even talk about the fact that I'm having twins, and Ewan had to speak to my parents for me because they went crazy, calling me irresponsible. My mom even went as far as calling me an idiot for wanting to keep them. She’s adamant I should abort them and move on with my life.

But they are my life. She can stay away from us.

To say Ewan lost his cool is an understatement, but whatever he said worked. I received a long apology message sent to Gabriella's phone, my mom asking for my forgiveness.

I haven’t replied.

My head is all over the place, but I know the way I feel as soon as I sit in the car, Ewan's hand in mine while he asks me how it went. It’s something I need. Wanting something the way I craved Tobias and his wicked ways somehow dominated what I actually needed, and I need myself more than anything. My babies need a healthy, safe, and above all, sane mother.

"Jason wants to stay with Francis tonight. Gabriella is off work, so do you still need me to come over?"

Yes . "No," I reply, clipping my seatbelt in. "Aren’t you fed up with sleeping on the couch? Go home and get a good sleep, maybe go have a drink with your friends."

"You know I hate drinking," he replies, indicating his car to turn right. "I might go out, though, maybe go for a long run. Are you sure you don't need me?"

I smile at him, nodding, and focus on staying calm while I feel like crying. "You deserve time away from me," I say after a long pause. "I'm surprised you're still helping me."

He rolls his eyes, turning the music up loud and continuing to drive until we reach my place, parking at the gate. "I forgot to show you this," he says, pulling out his phone. "Tobias' mum made a statement yesterday, asking for her son to come out of hiding.”

Violetta also added in her statement that she sends all the love and well wishes to me.

Ewan doesn’t go anywhere. As soon as he drops me off at my apartment, he’s back within an hour with food, a heat pack, and a few candles, since my lamp is still broken.

Gabriella sits with us for a while, all three of us talking about the last ten years and how we think our lives will be once the twins are here. She’s on her fourth beer, teasing Ewan when he says he doesn’t want to drink.

They used to play drinking games, way before she hated him. They were friends who got along, but when it came out that Ewan cheated years ago and he lied to my face in the present, she lost all respect for him.

So the fact they’re laughing together now is huge progress.

She stands and stretches from the couch we’re all sharing. “I’m going to bed. Please don’t fuck on the couch. And please don’t be naked when I come for my midnight coffee.”

My face heats. “Shut up.”

“You act like you haven’t walked in on us before,” Ewan says, laughing. “Your couch is safe.”

I know this friendship thing is working, but the undeniable chemistry between us is still there. I still feel butterflies going crazy when I'm around him, when he touches my hand or when he's close. I smile when I see him looking at me, forgetting all the mess for a split second.

Why can I not just move on? Why can I not forget about him and accept this is over between us, that we are done?

It’s ridiculous. One minute, I’m all over Tobias, then next, I’m staring at Ewan, wishing I could have forever with him.

When the movie ends, Ewan makes a bed on the sofa, and I go to my room, but I can’t sleep.

Going to him is irresponsible. We’ve agreed to be friends and work out things along the way, but I need him. I want to lie in his arms and fall asleep.

But that would lead us both on, right?

But it’s not misleading. I miss him, and he makes me feel safe.

My heart wins the inner battle, and I shove aside my bedding, my bare feet padding along the floor as I make my way into the living room. I see Ewan on the couch, the blanket dropped to the floor, his legs spread out and his arms above his head. I watch him intently, my hormones going crazy at him only in boxers, his tanned skin defining his abs and tattoos all over.

"Ewan," I whisper his name, moving his leg so I can sit on the edge of the couch. "Ewan."

One of his eyes opens slightly, and he groans as he stretches. "Hi."

"I can't sleep. Can I lie with you?"

He tilts his head at me but shifts to reposition himself, giving me space to lie down next to him, facing him. I can see he's struggling with where to put his hand, kind of floating above me. Feeling my heart race, I cuddle into his chest, bringing his hand down around my side.

Is it normal to cry from happiness in this position? I can't stop the overwhelming feeling hitting me like a tidal wave. "What's wrong?" Ewan asks, moving my hair out of my face as I look up to meet his pale greens. "Why are you crying?"

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I shake my head. "I just hate everything," I let out a sob, my lip trembling. "And I'm so scared I'm going to fail these kids, Ewan."

"You couldn't fail."

I nod, my eyes closing as he runs his thumbs up to my cheek, catching my painful tears. "I always thought if I was to ever have kids, they'd be with you. But..." I struggle to finish, burying my head in his chest again as my body shakes. "I'm so sorry I didn't forgive you sooner."

"That's my own fault, not yours," he replies, holding me against him. "We both know if it wasn't for you, I'd have messed up on the parenting front. You taught me everything. You're not going to do this alone, Aria. I'm going to be here, a father figure in their lives, like you did with Jason. I know we aren't together..." He leans back to look at me, his jaw tensing at my tear-soaked face. "But I'll be here."

I keep my eyes on his, my hands on his chest as I shift so I'm level with him. My breathing is uneven, and I have an urge to close any distance between us.

"You don't need to," I whisper, my eyes falling to his lips then back to his tired eyes. "I don't want you to feel obligated to."

I can feel his heart starting to speed up under my palm on his chest, his pupils dilating. "I want to," he whispers back, gulping. "Kade and Luciella are the names you said you liked?" I nod at him, remembering telling him in the hospital my favourites if there's one of each. "Well, together, we will give them an awesome life, right?"

I lean forward, my hands gliding up his hard, tattooed chest and into his hair, my nose against his, waiting for his reaction. "I miss you," I sigh, hooking my leg around his frozen form, his eyes searching my face. "I really miss you."

As soon as his hand rests on my hip, I give in and press my lips against his, enjoying the millisecond of closeness before Ewan pulls away, his touch leaving my body. Dread fills me as I watch him, his brows furrowed with a dumbfounded look. "You can't do that, Aria. You can't seek me out for comfort."

Hurt and completely embarrassed, I stand from the couch, pulling my shirt down to cover my panties.

"I thought..." I trail off looking at the wall above him as I chew on my lip. "I'm going to bed."

Before I can walk away, Ewan sits up and grabs my hand, staring at me as he runs his thumb over my skin, sending shocks through me. "You know if we kiss, it won't end there. I just can't, Aria."

"I get it." Against my attempts to stop it, a sob falls from my lips, making him cock a brow and pull me between his legs, his hands on my hips.

“Why are you crying?”

“I’m pregnant and sad and lost and I miss you.” I sniff and look away. “You don’t want me anymore.”

At risk of sounding manipulative, I can’t look at him. I’m selfish. I’m being so selfish. He wipes the tears sliding down my cheek with his thumb and gives me a warm smile when I eventually meet his gaze.

"I still think you're the most beautiful person in this world, and being pregnant just amplifies it. I just think it will mean a lot to me and nothing to you."

"It isn't like that," I reply. "I just..." I trail off once more, feeling a pressure in my chest. "I don't know."

"You can't kiss me then hop into bed with Tobias when and if he ever shows up." He shakes his head, running an inked hand down his face. "I want you to be sure before you do something like that. Okay?"

"Yeah," I muster a reply, my throat dry, eyes watering. “Can we go somewhere? The three of us? I need to leave town, and I want to be with you.”

“I have leave for the next two weeks. I’m sure I can work something out with Jason’s school to do work at home. Where do you want to go?”

“The caravan?”

He smiles, a glint in his eyes. “I forgot we had that. Fine. We’ll go tomorrow.”

Relief fills me, and I lower my head so hide the tears that keep coming.

"Can you...can you lie in bed with me? I don't want to be alone."

He smiles warmly, nodding, lacing our fingers as he walks us to my bedroom. I climb under the duvet, waiting for him to get in before resting my head on his chest. It feels safe, being here with him. I miss Ewan, miss the way things used to be.

Running my fingers up his arm, I trace his thick veins before settling my palm on his chest, snuggling into him. He presses his lips to my forehead, an act that has me blushing as his chin rests on my head. "Goodnight, Aria."

I grin, hiking my leg over him and feeling myself breathe as he holds me in place. "Goodnight."

I struggled to sleep before, but now, I easily fall into a dream. For the first time in weeks, I don't wake through the night. Instead, I’m met with Ewan's morning wood, causing him to run for a cold shower.