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Chapter 10

Tobias

M y hands are fucking shaking so much, I can barely hold my glasses properly as I incessantly try to wipe the already spotless lenses clean.

I don’t have anyone to tell. I don’t have someone to call for advice. My head is spinning, and all I can think of is Aria and what she’s doing, how she’s feeling, if she’s full of regret.

Maybe she’s already on her way back to Scotland.

I pull out my phone and check when the next flights are, swearing to myself when I see there’s some every day.

She can’t leave.

We have so much left to explore, and she’s deep in my system, burrowed into my fucking skin. I’m not ready to push her out yet. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me, why I’ve grown some weird obsession with her. It has never happened before, so why her? Why now?

She’s technically off-limits. Not only am I her assistant, but apparently, she keeps running back to her ex, so why would I even try to pursue anything?

Because she’s beautiful.

And she has a nice smile.

Also, she’s the only person who doesn’t make me uncomfortable.

I’m so fucking drawn to her, like she’s a drug and I’m fully addicted. I could stare at her all day, taste her goddamn mouth and feel her soft skin under my hand as I lift her into me and kiss her until our lips turn blue.

Fuck. I kissed Aria. She kissed me. We kissed, and I still don’t feel satisfied. I need more from her before she leaves.

If I’m confused by a feeling and unable to handle it, I speak with my therapist, but I don’t want him to know about Aria. The fewer people who know she exists, the fewer threats there are of something coming between us.

They might tell me to leave her alone.

“Are you okay?”

I look up at Lucy and realize she paused the movie, the room filling with the beeps of her machine.

“We don’t need to watch this,” she adds.

I pocket my phone and lean forward, my elbows to my knees. “Sorry.”

“You look tired,” the teen says before she yawns. “So am I. Your work day ended four hours ago.”

But I couldn't drive home. I couldn’t think straight. When I checked on Lucy to see how she was doing, finding her sick and spiking a temp, I didn’t want to leave. So, we’ve been watching a trilogy about vampires and werewolves.

She fell asleep a few times. She’s weak, more so than usual, and it concerns me.

“I’m due back in the morning. There’s no point driving all the way home.”

I live nearly an hour away, and with the way my head is all over the place from Aria’s touch burning into every nerve ending, I don’t trust myself behind the wheel. I’d black out and crash, and then I might not see her again. She’d be gone by the time they pulled me out of a coma from my injuries.

My contact hasn’t given me any new information, and it’s pissing me off. He just keeps saying he’s “on it”, that it’s limited because she doesn’t have much of a presence online, nor does she do much other than work.

Like myself, she donates to charity. She likes dogs, regularly eats at a pizza place near her house, and purchases the same watermelon shampoo whenever she visits the grocery store.

Pathetic information. If I had the tools, I could find out more.

I glance over at Lucy to find her eyes are shut, having fallen back into a deep sleep from all the drugs the doctors are pumping her with, mostly for pain. I’m not sure why she hasn’t been transferred to hospice yet, since this isn’t the right ward for her.

Leaning back in my seat, the same one I always sit in when I keep her company, I look around the room at all the cards, deflated balloons, fake flowers, and the countless games of Xs and Os we’ve played. Her handwriting has gotten close to illegible now because she trembles too much. She can’t even hold a pencil without dropping it.

She isn’t getting any better, and it fucking kills me. I wish I could help her, find a cure for her disease, somehow stop it from eating her alive, but I’m just an assistant with no qualifications who does research with his stepfather.

My teeth grit, and I’m checking my phone again, not seeing anything from Aria.

An idea springs to life, and it takes me a few minutes to book myself a room for the night at the same hotel she’s staying at. Not that I’ll do anything,but maybe the proximity will stop me from sweating, desperate to hunt her down for another taste.

Lucy is still asleep when I gently close her door and speak to one of the nurses about removing the deflated balloons, and about possibly getting another doctor in to check her over. Once she agrees, I grab my jacket and head for my car.

I have missed calls and messages from Justin, probably to give me a play-by-play of how his night went with Gabriella. I’d rather burst my own eardrums and stab myself in the chest than hear whatever the fuck he has to say.

By the time I reach the hotel, my hands are still shaking, and I’ve had to take my glasses off to rub my eyes. I grab my room key, thank the receptionist, and head to my floor.

Annoyingly, I’m the floor above her, but the thought of being so close has me a little at ease. I’ll send her a message and ask to talk, and if she says no, I’ll figure out a way into her room so I can watch her sleep.

The door closes behind me, my back against it as I pull off my glasses and press the heels of my palms into my eyes, not knowing if I need sleep, a vacation, or to hit something. This behavior is unacceptable. Since when the fuck do I get like this over a person ?

I sit down on the bed, pace the floor, and look out the window before I send the first message.