Page 47

Chapter 46

Aria

T he drive home two days later is quiet. Ewan and I have kept our distance while touching and sleeping, but we can't seem to take our eyes off one another. It makes me feel like a kid, to be honest, having your crush so close to you, even talking to you, getting the flutters.

We weren’t supposed to leave yet, but we got anxious and decided it was best to take Jason to Ewan’s mom’s house and figure out our next steps. Plus, Gabriella hasn’t replied to me in over twenty-four hours, and no matter how many times I send a text to say it’s Aria using Ewan’s phone, I get no reply.

Jason is asleep in the back of the car, and Ewan has kept his attention on the road for the past three hours while I read reports emailed to me by Doctor Shique.

"I'll just drop you off. I need to take Jason to my parents’ house," Ewan says, pulling up next to the sidewalk. I look up to see Gabriella's bedroom light on, making me smile. "I'll call you when I drop him off, okay?"

I nod at him, giving Jason one more look over my shoulder, a warmth filling me. "I enjoyed being away with just the two of you. It was fun and relaxing from everything going on here," I admit, making his dimple dent. "Thank you."

"We'll do it again," he responds, leaning over and kissing my cheek, making me melt. "Maybe this time, you'll beat me at Frustration."

I raise a brow. "Depends on if you mean the game," I joke, watching Ewan narrow his eyes at me with a smirk. I grin at him, my bottom lip between my teeth as I get out of the car, grabbing my bag from the trunk and tapping it for him to drive.

I can't wait to lie in the tub and relax with a charcoal face mask on and a cup of tea. Then, I’ll tell Gabriella she’s a bitch for not replying to me.

I'm excited to see her, tell her everything that has happened between Ewan and me. She will probably roll her eyes when I tell her I can still feel Ewan's lips on mine, that I still feel his presence all over me, but deep down, she will love that we connected.

Unlocking the door, I drop my bag on the floor. "It's just me!" I call out, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a glass of water, sipping it as I walk around the quiet house. "Gabs?"

Her room is empty, so I turn her light off and go to the bathroom, starting to run a hot bath with a hint of lavender bubbles. Walking into my bedroom to grab my towel, I gasp, the glass slipping from my fingers and smashing across my floor as Tobias stands from my bed, an unrecognizable look on his face.

"Was it worth it?"

"Tobias?"

My voice falters as he approaches me, crushing the glass under his heavy boot. Each horrifying step he takes throws me back two until I’m falling against the door. My heart nearly blows out of my chest as all the air leaves my lungs, making me feel faint.

"How did... No," I say, completely out of breath. "You need to leave!"

He shakes head. "I couldn't find you." He sucks in his bottom lip, releasing it with a curious look. "I was worried."

"Please don't hurt me," I beg him with a croak in my throat, tears already rolling down my cheeks as I cover myself instinctively. "I'm pregnant with your kids."

"What? Why would I hurt you?" he asks, tilting his head, looking hurt by me pleading for our lives, dropping his confused gaze to my hands doing all they can to protect our babies. "I want my kids to be safe, Aria. Why would you even say that?"

"You need to leave," I repeat, biting my lip to hide how terrified I am. All my hairs are rising, my spine straightening as he looks at me with some form of adoration. "Please leave."

I gasp as he reaches a hand forward, flinching, preparing myself for his strike. But instead, my body tenses from his soft touch against my skin. The pad of his thumb runs along my cheekbone, his fingers in my hair. "I’m disappointed. You tried to run away with him. Why won’t you run away with me?”

"You're dangerous.”

"Dangerous," he retorts, sighing, running a finger and thumb over his eyebrows. "How do I show you I care about you? What will make you believe me when I say you literally mean everything to me?"

In all honesty, I have no idea what Tobias could possibly do to make me believe him. He has done so much to me, to my life, and no words or actions will ever take those awful memories away.

I stare into his eyes, the different shades of blue clustering together. "Tobias..." I trail off, huffing, biting my thumbnail. "You need to listen to me, and you need to let me finish, okay?" He moves his head up and down in a slow nod, shifting his weight to the edge of the table so his knees are close to mine. "I'm a scientist and I help people; it's what I do. But when I met you, I had no idea you were broken in ways that are irreparable. I intentionally shrugged off so many signs because of my feelings for you. I risked my job countless times and ignored my instincts to run the opposite way."

My blunt words burn him. "I know what you're going to say," he responds, chewing the inside of his cheek as he stares at his feet, hands clasped as his elbows rest on his parted thighs. "I know exactly what you're going to say."

"Then let me say it."

He nods, keeping his eyes on the ground. "Okay,” he replies quietly.

See, this is the side of Tobias that pulls me in and wraps around my heart; the other side of him just breaks it.

"Up here," I point to my head as he looks up at me through his dark lashes, "is one of the most dangerous parts of a human being. It can play tricks on us, make us think things that aren't real, make us feel things we don't." He shakes his head, averting his eyes back to the floor. "I do believe you care about me, Tobias. But it's dangerous. You’ve even killed people."

“I did that for you.”

“That’s even worse.” I keep my tone as soft as possible, even though I'm exploding inside to scream, to run, to hide. I just want Tobias to understand he needs help, that running away is the worst thing he can do. If I can talk him into seeking out some sort of help, I can keep him safe.

"Why would I want to stare at four walls for the rest of my life? To be drugged up on a cocktail of whatever the fuck they can throw at me? How can I have my own kids visit me in a place like that without them ending up like me?"

My heart breaks for him, watching his eyes glaze over. "But being out here isn't good for you."

"You're good for me," he responds, reaching forward and cupping my cheeks in his hands. "I don't feel that void when I'm with you. I don't feel like I need to hide who I am, which is what I've been doing for years. Just stop fighting me, please. All we need to do is get out of here, and we can be free from all of this, be a family."

I tense my jaw, holding back tears as I see one slip down his cheek. "I deserve to be happy," I say, watching his eyes search my face with a broken frown. "You terrify me, Tobias. I can't be with someone who can flip at any given moment, especially with kids around."

He sighs, thinking for a long moment. "If I turn myself in, will you forgive me?"

My spine straightens at his seriousness, and I’m lost for words as my mouth moves but no sound comes out. "Will you give me the chance to be a good father?" he adds.

Moving my head up and down in silence, I feel my heart racing even more, his shaking hands still on my face.

"Then I'll do it."

What?

"You will?"

He nods, leaning forward to rest his forehead against mine with a tense jaw. "Promise me you won't leave me there to rot, that you'll stay by my side."

"I promise."

He sighs once more, dropping his head in defeat, keeping his hands in place. "Fucking hell."

"I'll help you. I promise I will," I tell him, tipping his chin to look at me. "Okay?"

"I'm drowning in every way possible, Aria." Tobias holds my face with such delicateness, I nearly melt at his touch, begging me with his eyes as he lowers his lips to mine. "All I want is you. I need you." I pull back before his mouth connects with mine, making his hands drop to his knees. He looks at me in confusion. "You said you'd forgive me?"

"I...I..." Standing, I stare down at him. "I'll go call the station for you."

He narrows his eyes to slits at me. "Aria?" I ignore him, walking around the couch and heading for the kitchen to grab my phone. He stops dead in the doorway, frowning at Ewan’s old phone in my hand, the background a picture of us three at the beach.

Before I can press the call button for the cops, he swipes it out of my hand, dodging me trying to take it from him while he searches its contents.

"Why are Ewan and Gabriella your only contacts?"

I freeze my movements, watching darkness take over his eyes as they flit from me to the screen, reading the messages I’ve been sending to Gabriella.

My entire body goes stiff, because I know he’s reading about me telling Gabs I kissed Ewan and that something happened. Another message that I feel happy, then a string of texts of me asking where she is and why she’s not answering.

"Tobias, please just?—"

"You cheated on me,” he spits. “You fucking cheated on me!”

No, I'm losing Tobias to the evil that haunts him, and I have no idea how to bring him back.

Tobias' fist slams against the kitchen wall over and over again, denting the surface, blood splattering around it with each hit he throws. My body flinches with each blow, my shoulders tensing.

"Fuck!" he roars, slapping the side of his face, panting as he settles his hands on the table with his head down. "They're his, aren't they?"

I tilt my head at him, backing into the corner of the room. "What?"

He slaps his palm on the table with force, making me jump as he spins on his heels, stepping until he's in my face. "He got you fucking pregnant, didn't he?" he yells at me with fire in his eyes, slapping the side of his face once more. "You let me think they were mine so I didn't know you were cheating on me, you fucking?—"

"Stop it!" I interrupt him, shoving at his shoulders, his rapid blinking completely out of control as he seethes through each breath. "Stop letting it overtake you!"

"Overtake me? It's you. It's always fucking you!"

I watch as he runs frantically in his own mind, his fingers raking through his hair, eyes wide as he takes deep breaths. "Tobias, try to calm down, please."

I scream as he launches the phone at my kitchen window, cracking it. "I can't calm the fuck down; don't you get that? You want him . " He turns his back to me, shaking his head. "She wants him. They aren't my kids; they can't be."

I sideways glance at my knife block, unsure if I will need to go as far as defending myself by inflicting pain on him. "I haven't slept with Ewan in a long time, Tobias. You're the father, I promise. Please just try to control your breathing and look at me." I move towards him, my hand on his shoulder, turning him. "Focus on me."

With a snarl, he looks me up and down, his entire form shaking with rage. "I love you enough to accept what we need to do. That way, we can all be together forever."

"What?"

He pulls me out of the kitchen and down the hallway, stopping at Gabriella's bedroom. "Sit on the bed," he orders, and I comply, watching him pull apart her wardrobe in a hurry. With my heart racing at an unhealthy pace, I gulp down a painful lump suffocating me. "They should do it."

My eyes widen as he turns, two long cables in his hand while he checks the sturdiness of the curtain pole. "No, Tobias. No. You don't want to do this."

"I do," he responds, knotting them both with large loops big enough to wrap around our necks. "You can go first, then I'll go. Or we can do it together." I jump from the bed and try for the door, but he grabs me once more. "Stop fucking fighting this."

"I don't want to die!" I scream out, kicking my legs as he tosses me back on the bed. "Please!" I cry as I bury my head in the duvet, my body heaving while he stands on Gabriella's stool, positioning the cables side by side. "Tobias, please. I want my kids to have a chance at life."

"Our fucking kids. Ours! " he corrects me, snapping at me with wide eyes, delusional to his earlier accusation. "This is not up for negotiation, Aria. Stand up."

My nerves are taking over, but I need to protect my babies. I grab a pen from Gabriella's bedside unit, driving the point into his bicep before making a run for it.

Somehow, I manage to make it to the bathroom and lock the door while Tobias groans in pain, yelling at me to get back.

I rest my back against the door, breathless, tears soaking my face. "Oh my God," I say to myself, covering my mouth as I hear Tobias' footsteps advancing, passing the door to enter the kitchen down the hall, returning seconds later.

"Aria, you need to open the door right now. You're ruining everything." I stay silent, my body shaking as I weep for my life. The sound of him busting open the door touches my ears as he leans against it to mirror my seated position. "It's the only way. I don't want the other side of you coming out and making it worse. She's evil and hates everything about me."

The other side of me?

Why the hell did we need to leave Dumfries? Why did I not tell Ewanwe'd just stay there forever? I was in heaven, happy, care-free, and now, I'm in a living hell as I hear Tobias taking deep breaths to try to control himself.

"My mom told me you were beautiful, that she understands why I'm so in love with you. She told me I should never stop fighting for what I want. And that's you , Aria. I want you in ways that make me... I don't even know how to explain it."

"If you loved me, you wouldn't try to kill me," I snap.

Silence follows as I wait for Tobias to calm down so we can talk.

I hear him let out a deep breath. "It won't be long now."

Frowning, I sit forward, my eyes widening as soon as I smell it.

Gas.

"What are you doing?" I ask, rushing to the window, but it’s locked. "Tobias!"

"I do love you, Aria. I wish I was normal so you could actually be with me, but I'm not. I've never even been close to it." His voice echoes in the room, soft and calm. "But you saw something in me that made me enjoy life for the first time ever, even if it was only for a few months. It won't hurt. I promise you'll pass out before I light it up."

I gasp a cry, grabbing a hand towel, rolling it up in a panic and stuffing it under the door to block any more gas from leaking in. "You can't do this!" I yell at him, my breathing erratic. I use another hand towel, soaking it in the tub then holding it to my face, pacing the bathroom while I press a palm to my stomach.

"You need to just sit down and let yourself fall asleep."

"Stop it!" I cry through the wet rag, every single nerve in my body exploding with fear. Then, I hear it: the flicking of a lighter as Tobias coughs.

I have one last chance.

Unlocking the door, he falls back as I open it and jump over him, dropping the hand towel as I make a run for it.

I manage to grab my keys and unlock my car, climbing in, completely out of breath, tears streaming down my face.

Before I can close the door, my heart sinks as a hand full of dried blood stops it. "Aria!" Tobias calls out, curling his fingers on the metal as I scream, trying to yank it shut and failing as he throws it open. "I'm trying to save you from her!"

He grabs my hair, pain surging through me while he pulls me from the car and slams my back against it. He cups my face in his hands, blood trickling down his arm where the pen is still lodged, something he doesn't seem bothered by. "Come back to me, Aria. Don't let her control you."

"No one is controlling me but you! You’re a psychopath!"

He chuckles, biting his lip. "And you loved me anyway. You and the doctor did. Or you still do. I'm confused with you both." He presses his lips to my forehead, inhaling deeply. "Okay, let's go."

Dragging me to the back of the car, he looks at our surroundings, the neighborhood in darkness with no one out to see what the noise is.

"Get in," he orders me as he pulls the trunk open. "Now." I struggle, trying to get away from him as his hand tightens in my hair, sending shocks of pain through my scalp.

I whimper, doing as he says, climbing in and curling up as he slams it shut. My heart needs to slow before I pass out, which is probably a good thing at this point so I won’t feel what pain Tobias is about to inflict on me.

"I'm so sorry," I tell my babies, my hands wrapping around myself. "I'm so sorry I failed you both."

I've never thought about dying. Well, I have , but not at my own hands or someone else's. I always thought I'd be an old lady, lying in my bed, my children and grandchildren surrounding me, feeling like I accomplished something by living my life.

I wanted my kids to have a life, and that's about to be taken away at the hands of their own father.

And now? I'm regretting everything, everything from the point of meeting Tobias Mitchell.

I care about him a lot. I know he has his issues, that he needs help, but at this point, he’s truly irredeemable in my eyes. The dark side of him is far too powerful for his softness, the part I fell in love with. I wish I was stronger, that I was able to fix him, to make him see sense.

All I can do is lie here and hope my family and friends know how much I love them, that no matter what lies ahead, I will fight until my last breath.

The car comes to a halt, my hand pressing to my mouth as I hear chattering, my pulse quickening.

Footsteps crunching on stones make their way to the back of the car, my entire form freezing as it opens wide, my blood running cold at Justin smiling down at me. "It's about time you both got here."

He isn't gentle. I yelp as he grips my wrist and yanks me out into the cold. There’s a snow-covered woodland surrounding us, hiding us. Tobias is standing with his arms crossed at the entrance of the small, abandoned building of an old animal shelter. I recognize it; it has been closed down for years in the middle of nowhere.

The woman next to him makes me freeze.

"Aria, dear, it's good to see you again," Violetta says with a smile, opening her arms for some sort of embrace. I flinch as she approaches, making her stop in her tracks, looking from me to Tobias. "She didn't agree?"

Tobias shakes his head. "I didn't ask. Just take her inside."

Ask what?

They walk me into the foul-smelling building, mould and grass growing on the walls and floor. I whimper as I enter a room filled with bright white lights, my eyes widening at the sight before me.

Five large, caged kennels line the opposite side of the room, set up with drips hooked to each one. My heart sinks when I see Gabriella shoved into one, sedated with whatever they're pumping into her.

For some reason, Kaleb is in the one beside her, also sedated.

"Gabriella?" I sob out with a gasp, bile rising in my throat. "Gabs?"

Tobias comes up behind me as his mom and Justin walk in front of me, grinning. His hands rest on my hips while I stand frozen in place, holding my breath as he lowers his mouth to my ear.

"Which one do you want, Doctor?"