Page 37

Chapter 36

Aria

O ne hour and ten minutes.

That's how long I've been sitting in this courtroom, Gabriella on one side, Ewan on the other. The judge has so far discussed what will be happening today with the lawyers, describing the potential charges against Tobias. She has named the witnesses, then the defense witnesses—Tobias' mom and Doctor Blythe.

"It'll be okay, Aria." Gabriella squeezes my hand, running her palm up my arm in an attempt to comfort my nerves. I smile as best I can, but it doesn't reach my eyes. Then, I’m facing forward, ready for Tobias to be brought out.

"Bring the defendant, Tobias Mitchell, in," the judge roars, her wig perfectly curled, glasses falling down her nose. "Keep him restrained."

I feel all the blood drain from my face as the door opens, and then my hairs rise on the back of my neck when I hear the rattle of the chains. I grip Gabriella's arm as four guards drag Tobias out, his hands and feet cuffed, hooked to a leather band around his waist. My nerves betray me, causing my eyes to water at the sight of him being manhandled, men shoving him down by the shoulders so he sits next to his lawyer.

I can hear him grunt, the white t-shirt tight against his back, clicking his head to the side and rolling his shoulders.

Holding my breath, I try to keep my eyes forward as Tobias turns to look through the seated crowd. "Where is she?" I hear him ask, making my heart sink as an officer holds his shoulder as he tries to stand. "Let fucking go of me!" he snaps, shrugging the man off him before raising his cuffed hands to point in his lawyer's face. "You said she would be here."

I slouch a little, keeping myself hidden in the sea of heads at the back of the courtroom, the judge silencing Tobias with a knock of her gavel on the table.

I flinch when they explain Tobias snapped the guard's neck, caught on CCTV, and I avert my eyes when the video plays. Apparently, Tobias is in denial and refuses to acknowledge it's him in the footage, even though he sits down next to two bodies and looks straight at the camera with a dead look.

Tobias shouldn’t be in prison. He should be in a facility that will look after him, get him the help he needs. He should be pleading insanity, but my heart sinks, knowing he’s not going to.

He’s pleading innocent, so it's going to a full trial with a case built against him. This also means that one day soon, I need to sit in the witness box, point to Tobias when asked, and explain in detail everything he did to me and how I got the phone to contact Gabriella.

How do I explain to this room of people that I used my body to get the information? How can I look Ewan in the eye and say those words?

I'm not ready, but I don't think I ever will be. I keep reminding myself I'm doing this for him, but I know he won't see it that way. I need Tobias to understand.

Two people I'm eager to hear speak are Tobias's mom and Doctor Blythe, the only people who are here to defend him. Apparently, Doctor Blythe believes Tobias is a victim to his own mind, that his impulsive behaviours stem from his disconnection from reality.

My eyes drift to the back of Tobias' head throughout the next hour, and I grimace at more details.

The prosecution stands and gives one last statement. “We truly believe Tobias has no feelings towards Miss Miller, that his true motives were to manipulate her into a sexual relationship before drugging her, resulting in manic episodes and forced pregnancy.”

Ewan tightens his hold on me, my eyes dropping to stare at our hands.

“Giving him any access to the public would be detrimental to all. We will fight the case to make sure he’s never released and able to cause this catastrophic pain again.”

"Aria!" he calls as he stands, and I stop breathing, watching as he shoves off the guard who tries to sit him down. If he wasn't cuffed at the ankles, he would be right next to me right now. "They’re lying! I would never do that to you, I promise. I'm not like that motherfucker next to you! I would never do anything to come between us!"

“Silence!" the judge calls, my heart accelerating as I keep silent, Gabriella throwing her arm around my shoulders.

"No, I won't stay fucking silent! She's carrying my kid, and I have the right to fucking speak to her!"

His eyes burn into me, blazing, panicking. Tobias grabs one of the guards who comes at him and headbutts him, making everyone in the room gasp except me. The officer covers his nose, blood seeping out, and Tobias is overpowered as security swarm him.

"Aria!" he calls out once more. "Let me talk to my fucking girlfriend!"

"I need to go," I say to Ewan and Gabriella, feeling like I’m going to vomit everywhere. "I can't watch this."

All three of us stand as Tobias is lifted from the ground, his lip burst open. "If I find out you've touched her, I'll kill you, do you hear me? I'm going to fucking kill you!"

My eyes widen at his threat, Ewan's fists and jaw clenching, Gabriella shoving him back to make him move. I keep my head down, trying not to make eye contact as Tobias once again resists.

"She's mine. No one else can have her!" he continues, swinging his cuffed fists around. “She’s mine!”

Gabriella closes the large wooden double doors behind us, muffling Tobias' threats to kill Ewan. We can still hear him yelling.

Hands grab at my face, my eyes opening to see green eyes staring back at me. "Are you okay?"

I shake my head at them both, sucking in my bottom lip to try and hold back my tears. "He's not?—"

"Aria?" a woman calls my name, poking her head out of the doors. She looks the same age as my mum, grey hair gelled back into a neat bun, wearing dark purple, office-like dress with kitten heels.

She's American.

"Yeah?”

She nervously steps towards me, fiddling with her purse in front of her. "I'm Violetta Mitchell, Tobias' mom."

I hug myself, pulling away from Ewan and seeing the distraught look taking over her.

"I don't have a lot of time, I need to go back in. But I really need to sit down and speak with you about my son. Can we meet up?"

"He shouldn't be here," I say, pointing to the door. "Tobias needs psychiatric help, not to be sitting in a jail cell where he’ll lose himself even more."

“I agree.” She sighs, completely exhausted. "Once they read over all of the paperwork I've provided from his clinic back home, Tobias will be transferred to a facility. I promise.”

“I need to go.”

“I’m sorry,” she adds. “Truly. I hope you will allow me to see my grandchildren.”

I nod, my jaw clenching.

Tobias has his mother’s eyes, but she has something different in them. I shouldn’t trust her, and I have no idea why. “When can we meet up?”

Noticing my expression, Gabriella steps forward. “I really need to get her home. It was nice to meet you, Violetta.”

“Of course. You are very beautiful, Aria. I hope you will one day forgive my son.”

She hands me a card with her number and doesn't wait around for a response. She rubs her hand on my shoulder, turns, and walks back into the courtroom.

Gabs: Are you sure you're ready to go home?

Me: Yeah, I've been signed off from the psychiatrist, and I start back at work next week. I need normality. I can hopefully join Ivy in Denmark now that Tobias has been caught, so my job is safe.

Gabs: Still a dick.

I giggle at the last message, tossing my phone on Jason's bed as I finish tidying his room.

"You keep standing in my way, Aria. I can't see the TV!" he whines, trying to play his video game. I toss a cushion at him, making him huff and pause whatever he's doing. "Are you really going back tonight? Can't you stay longer?"

"Nope, this is you and your dad's place, Jason. I have a house," I reply, making him pout at me. "It'll go back to the way it was before."

"But Dad seems so happy with you home," he sighs. "Can you stay one more night? Please? We can watch a movie and eat loads of food."

"I only live twenty minutes away. It's not like you won't see me," I laugh, sitting down next to him as he shakes his head. "You'll understand when you're older."

"I'm ten !"

"Older, older," I say with a smile. "I'll stay tonight, but I'm going home tomorrow, okay?"

He jumps up and hugs me, a massive grin on his face. "I love you, Aria."

"I love you too, little guy."

I finish tidying up the house, hearing the front door opening and Ewan shouting he's home. I feel strange, like an emptiness begging to be filled as I walk out of the kitchen, melting a smidge when I see him smiling at me.

"Hi."

He pulls his cap off. “Hey. Did you see the news?" he asks, swiping through his phone as he walks toward me. I shake my head, and he stands next to me so I can see the screen: the court case has been adjourned due to an insanity plea. "On the radio, it says he's being transferred in three days. Have you called his mum?"

"I've no idea what to say to her, but I will."

I read the article, seeing a statement from Doctor Blythe that Tobias isn't deemed fit to stand trial, that he is to be taken to a holding facility half an hour from here.

I feel my insides twist as I read he's being sent back to America next week at the request of his mother so he can be institutionalized there.

Psychosis, schizophrenia, anxiety, antisocial personality disorder, and many others have been mentioned in the reports, but none have been solid on what exactly Tobias has. He also suffers from psychogenic nonepileptic seizures, and once, he experienced one while driving, having his licence revoked after crashing into another car.

Fear riddles me that my child may have what Tobias has.

“I thought you were leaving today. I was going to drive to your place to pick up Jason."

"Oh. I just came here when I picked him up from school," I nervously lift my shoulder. "I can go now if you want? Jason's dinner is in the oven. I'll just..." I trail off, walking back with my thumb over my shoulder. "I'll pack my things to take back with me. It's better you don't have a wardrobe full of my clothes."

"Okay," he replies, leaning his elbows on the stair bannister as I ascend them slowly. "Do you need a hand?"

I shake my head, turning and quickly running, calming myself as I walk into the room and grab a suitcase from the wardrobe. "Why do you need to be so complicated, Aria?" I ask myself, huffing and dropping so my back hits the side of the bed, feeling the carpet beneath me.

I look at the open wardrobe, every hanger in use, boxes of jewellery and shoes at the bottom. I left so much because I truly believed there would be a day I’d come home, but not like this.

I've disregarded the love between Ewan and me, accepted fake love from some psychopath who mistreats me in every way possible. Yes, I care about Tobias in ways I shouldn't, and I truly believe he cares for me, but not in any sort of healthy way. We have no future together.

From this moment forward, I'm focusing on myself and myself alone. I don't need Tobias, and Ewan doesn't need someone like me messing with his head on a weekly basis. I need to focus on my job and finish paperwork so I can fly to Denmark to be with Ivy.

I get to work on packing, feeling a tug on my heartstrings when Jason stands at the door, staring at the half-packed suitcase. I smile at him, and he runs off, slamming his bedroom door behind him.

"He'll be fine," Ewan says, walking into the room and handing me a cup of tea. "He's just gotten used to you being here, that's all."

"None of this should even be happening; it's not fair on him. I should've stayed at my parent's house."

"Your mum would have ended up killing you," he replies, lying on his front on the bed, my back against it, his forearm touching my shoulder. "Did you message her back?"

Oh, yeah, Mom saw on the news Tobias had confessed to drugging me, admitting it was his fault I became delusional, and not to neglect the fact that because of the medication, I may have skipped my pill and become, you know...pregnant. She apologized, saying I should know to stay away from people like him, that I'm to come with them to Barbados.

I nod at his question, and he slides down to sit on the carpet next to me, shoulder to shoulder, both staring at the half-empty wardrobe. A heaviness in my chest has me leaning on him, and I feel his chin on my head.

"I told Jason I'd stay one more night. But if you want me to go, I will."

He huffs, twirling strands of hair around his fingers before our hands interlock. "This is really messing with my head."

"What is?"

After a long moment of soft touch, he releases my hand and moves to his feet, running his fingers through his messy hair. "I think once you go home, we need to stop all of this. No more staying over at each other's places. No more holding hands and cuddling or whatever the fuck is going on right now."

I feel my heart stopping, and I stand. "Why are you saying this? We already agreed to be friends."

"How can I be friends with you, Aria?" He walks until his fingers are in my hair, palms to my cheeks, causing my breath to hitch and my heart to race. "You've no idea how much I want to hold you, kiss you, drag you to bed and..." His nose nudges mine, our lips dangerously close, his emerald eyes hooded as hot bursts of minty breaths hit me.

My hormones are battling with every bit of sense I have, and I ache for him to lean in, close the space between us, and kiss me. The urge is so strong, it's physically painful, my breathing unsteady while every nerve ending explodes.

I watch him with a heart-shattering look, truly seeing how caring he is and how much he has changed. It would be even more confusing for Jason, and Ewan really should be with someone he can have a clean slate with. He should be happy and not worrying about when I'm going to argue with him about the past.

It's not him; it's me .

I wish we were destined for each other, but not all love can overcome the past. Maybe I should have told him how I felt instead of putting on a mask, the indifference driving a wedge between us.

I love Ewan, more than I can ever show him, but, and this is a huge but, if I loved Ewan as much as I keep telling myself, then why do I crave Tobias so badly?

I feel Ewan’s lips ghosting over mine, looking for permission, and I so badly want to give him it.

"I...I can't," I stutter, pulling away from him, instantly missing his touch as I rummage to close the suitcase and get my shoes on, feeling Ewan's gaze burning into the back of my head.

"Aria," he sighs, and I dodge his arms trying to stop me as I walk past him. "Don't leave."

"You deserve better," I tell him, before kissing his cheek and walking out of the house with a heavy heart.