Page 27

Chapter 26

Aria

" T hank God. You were non-existent while he was here," Gabs says as soon as she walks in the front door, Justin trailing behind. "Did you go to work today?"

Shamefully, I shake my head, twisting my fingers as she gives me an ugly look.

It's true. I've called in sick every day that Tobias was here, missed every appointment, ignored calls that could have been important. I wanted to spend time with him before he went back home, and he said it was a good idea to turn my work phone off to de-stress.

So, I listened to him.

"Did you even call your mom back?" she continues, and all I can do is shake my head again. She looks around at our house, the cups and plates filling the sink, takeaway dishes littering the counters. Beer and wine bottles overflow the bin, and I don't notice the foul smell until she points it out. "Okay." She drops her bags on the floor in the hallway, hands on her hips. "Justin, go sit in my room so we can clean up."

"I'm sorry, I've just been busy, and I didn't realize how bad the place is." Tobias left a few days ago and I’ve felt lost. The thought of cleaning up was the last thing on my mind.

"Ewan's been trying to get a hold of you too. You were supposed to pick Jason up from school today."

My eyes widen, and my hand flies up to my mouth, dropping my body onto the armrest of the sofa. "Shit."

I've never once forgotten Jason, and my heart hurts that I did. I feel my eyes watering once more, an uncomfortable lump forming in my throat.

"I told Ewan you were busy. I went and got him for you. That boy sat in the office for nearly an hour." She opens a bin bag, swiping her arms along the counter so all the rubbish falls in. "What's going on with you lately?"

I'm a monster. First, I ditch my work. Then, I closed off the world to spend time with my boyfriend, and now Jason... I'm slowly letting everyone down.

"This isn't like you, Aria. You're responsible, professional, and you always put others first. What's going on? Where's your head at?"

I look at my best friend, my lip trembling. "I don't know," I sigh, dropping my head in my hands. "I think I'm just tired."

Days of texting back and forth turn into weeks of voice and video calls. Tobias's far too busy with work to visit and I’m just off probation from taking so much time off and missing appointments. But it's my first day back and I don’t have an appointment until tomorrow.

I don’t think.

My files are piling up, emails are delayed, and I sigh when I think about all the stuff I need to do before I can go home and talk to Tobias.

Oh, and who knew that phone sex is actually enjoyable? Tobias talks me through exactly what he wants me to do, begs me to send him videos, pictures, and I do... probably far too many. It's been a long two months without him, and the more time I spend away from him, the more I want him, all of him.

I wish he could be more expressive with how he feels about me. It's a massive struggle to get him to open up fully.

I gulp down my wine, emptying my fourth glass while someone is talking, but I’ve too zoned out to focus on what they’re saying.

Other than that, I've never felt better. Tobias talked me into deleting all my social media accounts, removing myself from that toxic environment. He spoke to me about not going out so much to a point that I would now rather stay at home and do work or video call with him, usually belligerently drunk.

Being drunk makes it easier without him. He said his mother used to get drunk when his father was out of town because it quietened the pain of missing the person and he was right. I still want to see him, but my mind can’t focus enough.

Seeing Jason has been a battle, only having him stay over a handful of times in the past eight weeks. I've completely blocked Ewan. There’s no reason for me to have my ex’s number and be in contact. For me to see Jason, I go through Ewan’s mom, but recently, I haven’t had much time.

I want to sit down with Ewan, work it out, fix this situation for Jason's sake. But when I suggested that to Tobias, I got my head bitten off. He's an ex, and no matter what history we have together, or how much I miss even just speaking with him, he's a threat to my relationship.

"You've gone silent on me again, Aria," the specialist on the other end of the phone repeats himself for the third time, and my eyes go wide as I sit up on my couch.

"Oh, sorry! What was the outcome?"

I hear him huffing, papers crunching. "Ivy Dermot hasn't been selected, but I think you argued enough to change their minds, maybe give them a call and find out when the final listings are."

"Shit," I mumble, my eyes widen at my horrific language. I clamp my hand over my mouth, screwing my eyes shut. "Sorry. I'll call them now."

"Maybe get some sleep first. You've made a great statement."

We hang up, and my forehead meets the steel desk again, groaning at myself. "Fucking hell.”

I struggle to sleep most nights, probably because I'm up until all hours talking with Tobias. The time difference is a pain, and I've come close to asking him to just transfer here or vice-versa.

I've never been so off the ball with work. I can hear my worst nightmare currently walking up the hallway, and I know she's about to blow through my office and lose her?—

"What the fuck, Aria?" Gabriella snaps. "Why didn't you go to the meeting?"

I frown at her, wiping hair out of my oily face. "What meeting?"

"You are unbelievable." She shuts my office door, dropping down on the chair opposite my desk. She's never looked at me the way she is now – disgusted. I prepare myself for an argument. "I think you need to take some time off work, maybe go see someone."

"I don't need to see someone."

"Aria! You are a mess.” She picks up the empty wine glass and sees the bottle under my desk, her mouth dropping open. “You’re drinking at work? What the fuck? And when do you ever miss any type of meeting for Ivy, or any of your patients for that matter?”

All I do is glare at her. She’s also becoming an issue in my relationship.

"My best friend never forgets this stuff, ever."

I take a deep breath, fed up with her controlling ways. "Then maybe your best friend needs you to back the hell off."

She tuts, completely disappointed in me. "I've already filed your paperwork. Pack your things and come back when you're feeling better," she tells me, standing tall. "I've been trying for weeks to get you on track, Aria. I've done everything I can as a friend to help you, and nothing I do is working. You don't speak to me at home, you never pick up my calls, and you act like I'm some sort of enemy. You're my best friend. Tell me how I can fix this?"

"Stop trying to fix something that isn't broken, Gabriella."

I watch as her eyes well up, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she nods slowly. "I know you're going through a hard time. Not seeing Jason as much and your parents demanding you go see them, it must be eating you alive, but I'm here for you. And I'm not saying that it's Tobias." I glare at her as she says his name, preparing to go to war. "But ever since he's come into your life, you're not the same, Aria. He doesn’t have your best interests at heart, and I think he might be manipulating and controlling you."

"Tobias is the only person there for me!" I slam my palm on my desk and stand up. "He's the one talking me down when I panic for no reason. He's the one who cares about my actual feelings and knows exactly how to make me feel better. Not you, not Ewan, not Jason. Him."

She scowls at me, humming as if something registers with her. She takes a deep breath, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Okay, then I'll go stay elsewhere."

"You do that," I snap as she walks out of my office, and an email pops up telling me to go on leave for four weeks.

Gabriella, staying true to her word, clears out half of her drawers, leaving a note on the kitchen counter.

Aria,

I know my best friend more than anyone on this earth, even more than that idiot Ewan. Get some sleep, go back to the gym, and eat healthy like you always did before. I promise you that it will get easier, and I will be with you every step of the way. But please, for the love of god, get that guy out of your life before he ruins it.

I'm giving you space. Get your head straight and take a bath... preferably a long one.

I love you.

G.

I reread it, unsure if she's genuine, or if she's belittling me. Scrunching up the paper, I toss it in the trash, opening the fridge and grabbing one of the bottles of wine. I skip a glass, drinking straight from the bottle as I sit down on my bed, staring out my window at the busy streets, my afternoon taking a ridiculous turn.

I'm happy, I'm really happy. Gabriella needs to just back off and concentrate on her own life. Maybe it's jealousy that Justin hasn’t spoken to her since leaving, or maybe she just misses having me to herself, but Tobias is my number one.

My phone dings as soon as I finish the bottle, and since I have everyone else on silent, I know it's Tobias. I bite down on my lip while I drunkenly attempt to unlock my screen, the fingerprint scanner not working.

I enter my pin instead, failing six times before opening the message.

TobiasWork: How's work?

Just as I begin to reply that it's been a shitty day, someone knocks on my front door. Instantly, I jump up off the bed, stumbling a little while I screw my eyes up, totally buzzed.

"Who is it?" I yell out, using the wall to lead me down the hallway.

No one replies, and I get butterflies at the possibility of Tobias being here, waiting on the other side of the door, cupping my cheeks, and telling me that everything is going to be okay.

I hurry, stubbing my toe on the sofa, cursing as I wobble to the front door, swinging it open with a wide smile. It drops as soon as I see who it is, and quickly, I slam the door on his worried face.

"Aria, no. Come on," Ewan says, sighing. "I just need to make sure you're okay."

"I have a boyfriend," I say, my palm slapping against the door as I lose my balance, my heart racing from either fear of him, or maybe it's just my usual reaction to being near him. Either way, he needs to leave. "You need to leave, Ewan. Do you know what he will do to you if he finds out you're at my door?"

"I really couldn't give a shit what he does. I just need to know you're okay. Gabriella came to my house. We’re worried about you."

"Yeah? I’m fine. You can go now." I hear him muttering something under his breath. I turn so my back is to the door, sliding down until my ass hits the wooden floor. "I don't need any of you," I whisper, my palms resting on my thighs. "I need the world to leave me alone."

"You didn't pick Jason up today either. But I don’t think it’s a good idea to be around him while you’re like this. You need help, Aria. Let me help you."

My eyes start to water, the suffocating lump forming in my chest rendering me speechless. The room begins to spin, and at this moment, against every single emotion that's rocketing through me, I want to just sleep... I want all these hurtful things going through my head to stop.

"I love Jason," I say, my jaw clenching, trying to hold it together.

"I know you do, Aria."

I feel something hit against the door, the sound of his leather jacket sliding down the opposite side. "Is that what's wrong?"

"Why did you need to hurt me?" I begin to sob, my words barely audible as the tears fall from my eyes, my body shaking as I lose control. "Why would you do that to me? We were happy and you ruined it."

"I'm sorry, Aria. I don't know how to fix this. Please don't cry."

"You're a liar and a cheat," I spit, saliva falling from my mouth, my nose running, the room a total blur. I try to get up, but as I grab the wire to the tall lamp, it falls and the shade smashes across the floor, shattering glass everywhere.

"What was that? Aria, let me in!" I hear him yell, pounding his fist on the wood as I completely fall apart, sobbing with my forehead on the ground, glass impaling my palm. "Aria!”

"I'm fine," I reply in a shaky voice, slowly lifting myself from the ground, grabbing the side table for leverage, my legs shaking. I can see the glass in my hand, but I don't feel any sort of pain. I don't feel anything, to be honest. "If you're here to..." I fall back against the wall, a bloody hand dragging down the white paint. “I have a boyfriend.”

My vision blurs, and my body begins to retch as it attempts to bring up the contents of my empty stomach, bile spilling along the floor.

“Fuck,” I hear him swear.

I drop to my knees just as Ewan kicks the door open, falling into his arms face first before entering a dark void.

Struggling to open my eyes, I'm met with my usual morning hangover, a bucket half full of water and vomit next to my bed. A glass of ice and a breakfast roll sits on my bedside unit, the first aid kit lying open.

I wince as I reach for the glass, my hand bandaged up. "What the hell?" I groan to myself, looking around the room and pausing when someone sits up from the chair.

"Hey," I hear Ewan's voice and I scream, covering my fully dressed body with my blanket. He raises his hands, gulping deeply enough that I see his throat bobbing. "Woah, woah, woah, Aria. You’re okay. I didn't know what else to do."

The view of him standing at the foot of my bed with messy hair and baggy eyes, has me remembering last night. I gasp, my eyes widening. "What did you do to me?" I feel fear, immense fear building around me. My hairs raise and goosebumps cover my skin as he takes a step closer, confused at my reaction to him.

Tobias is the only one who can keep me safe. Not him. He only breaks my heart and makes me this way.

"Aria, baby. You need to listen to me. You?—"

"No! Don’t call me that!" I interrupt him before he can continue, rushing to the other side of the bed as he nears, my breathing erratic. "You're dangerous. You're the threat."

Defeated, he drops his hands and backs himself to the bay window, sitting down on the chair again. He sighs, running his tattooed hand through his dark hair. "I don't know why you think that. I*’ve never been a threat to you."

"You make me like this," I add. “You want to hurt me.”

"All I'm trying to do is help you," he replies, leaning forward so his elbows rest on his knees. "I slept on the chair beside your bed to make sure you were okay."

"You shouldn't have bothered helping me. I don’t need you here."

He huffs, standing. "Then you would have choked on your own sick. Is that what you want?" I shrug at him, and he narrows his eyes. "What the fuck is going on with you?"

Shaking my head, I stare down at myself. My palm is covered in a bandage. "Did you do this?"

He nods. “You had glass in it.”

The sting is welcoming, and he watches me as I press my finger into my palm, wincing a little. The pain helps. I don’t know what with exactly, but it helps.

“I want you to leave,” I say quietly, my body shaking. A huge part of me wants him to stay, and it’s fighting with the sensible part. “Because he’s a threat,”” I say out loud.

"Aria, do you really think I'm a threat to you? I've been in love with you since we were eighteen. It's Tobias, isn't it? He's in your fucking head." Ewan runs his hand through his hair again, exasperated. I try to say no, but he cuts me off before I can. "I've never seen you like this."

"Leave," I say sternly, reaching over to grab my phone. "Leave before I call him."

He laughs in disbelief but he doesn’t find any fo this funny, gripping the bottom of the bed frame. "I'm not scared of him. Maybe you should be," he says before pushing away, pulling on his jacket and shoes.

"At least he doesn't betray my trust," I reply spitefully, making him stop in his tracks at the bedroom door.

He looks at me over his shoulder, his jaw clenching. "I was a cocky teenager, Aria. I've apologised over and over again. And our relationship has nothing to do with you throwing your life away for a guy who is making you like this. You’re spiraling, badly, and you need help."

Silently, I watch him leave the house, my heart nearly pounding out of my chest. The door slams shut, and I walk out, noticing Ewan has brushed up the broken glass, attempted to scrub the bloodstain on the wall, and tidied up my kitchen.

I smell air freshener, and take a deep breath, closing my eyes while I try to figure out what I'm doing. "Shit," I blurt, panic striking me as I rush for my phone, unlocking it with my pin and seeing over fifty messages from Tobias.

I call him, my chest rising and falling quickly, chewing on my fingernails. He answers on the first ring, and his tone tells me he's pissed off. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, I got drunk and fell asleep," I lie, unsure how to explain the last twelve hours. The tension builds in my head as he snaps at me, each word blowing through the phone has my eyes shutting. Tobias stops eventually, and the tears are falling down my face, sniffing. "I'm sorry."

He sighs down the phone. "I was worried, I nearly booked a flight to Scotland."

I frown, pulling the phone away for a second to see the time. It must be four in the morning for him. "That's a little dramatic, Tobias. I fell asleep."

"Yeah. Well, with someone like Ewan close by, I'm allowed to worry."

I agree with him silently, nodding, my eyes falling to the glass of ice and sandwich. "I’m fine.”

“Of course you’re fine. Promise me you’ll stay away from him. He isn’t good for you.”

“I promise.”