Page 16 of Not My Type, Not Yet.

Kinagabihan I kept myself howled up in my room. Never leaving it kahit na ihing-ihi na ako, I'm afraid na baka pag nakita ko sya I might start blurting out things that might triggered him. Don't want that, so I'll stay put.

Pero...

Nagugutom na ako.

I forgot to bring any food with me inuna ko pa kasing mag emote eh, yung binili kong pagkain kinuha ni Abigail, napaka sama ng ugali

Bahala na yang emote na yan gutom ako. They say na gutom ang pinaka mahirap na kalaban, pwede kasing mamatay. Sayang future ko pag nagkataon.

"Should I go out? I mean dorm ko rin naman to ah. Paki ko kong makita nya ako? And besides I've done nothing wrong, sya nga tong kong ano ano ang pinagsasabi eh. He should apologize to me, right?" I murmured to myself. I laughed awkwardly at myself in the mirror.

I've been conversing with myself for the past 2 hours, trying to gaslight myself na wala naman akong ginawang kasalanan. That I don't deserve the hatred that he'd been throwing at me. I'm trying to figure out what's in his head, but we really can't know what they're thinking unless they voice it out themselves. We have no superpower. I'm not a magician either.

I jump on my bed and groan. Fuck I'm hungry. I check my wristwatch and its already midnight. Damn, I might have been glancing at my ceiling for at least 5 hours, kong hindi nakatunganga, kinakausap ang sarili sa salamin.

Puta mukha akong tanga.

My stomach grumble kaya napahawak ako sa tyan ko. Napakagat ako sa labi ko bago bumangon. This is between my hunger and my ego, and this time my hunger won. I mean gutom ako? Anong gagawin ko? hihintaying manigas ako sa sobrang gutom? No way in hell.

"Bahala na si Batman."

I mentally crossed my fingers and slowly got up. Naglakad ako papuntang pintoan ko, but before I open the door, I put my ears to the door trying to make sure na walang ingay na nag iindicate na andyan sya. When I heard nothing, I bobbed my head and slowly twisted the doorknob.

I peeked my head through the gapping door and roamed my eyes around. The lights were off, tahimik din kaya napanatag ang loob ko. Mukhang tulog na ata. I glanced to his room at bumuntong hininga, matulog ka muna.

"Ako muna magmumulto sa kusina."

Tuloyan na akong lumabas at nagtungo sa kusina. I switched on the lights at pinagtuonan ng pansin ang ref.

"I kinda want some chicken,"

Hinalungkat ko ang ref but found nothing. My eyebrows knitted as my forehead creases. Walang laman ang ref kundi tubig at iilang condiments lang. Tangina wala bang tao dito?

"Gutom na nga tas wala pang pagkain bwesit na yan!" padabog kong sinara ang ref.

Bumagsak ng malakas ang pinto kaya napaigtad ako. Dali dali kong binuksan ulit ang ref, checking kong nasira ko ba. I once again breathe a sigh of relief nang makitang ok pa naman, naka intact pa.

I traced the edge of its door, "Sorry ha. Baka nasaktan kita, just say it." I blow on it at dahan-dahang sinara ang ref.

I'm hungry!!! I dialed Rayne's number pero ang gago tulog na ata. I tried calling Rafael and he actually picked up.

"Goodness! Raf, tara over the bakod. Punta tayong seven evelyn. I'm gonna die from hunger!!" Yaya ko sakanya. I could hear his heavy breaths and the sound of his bed moving.

"Fuck Austine, what time is it?! and it's 7/11." He growled. Nailayo ko ang phone sa tenga ko at looked at it as if his in front of me. What the hell?

"Lampaki. Anyway, what are you doing?" I asked suspiciously, naningkit ang mata ko when I heard two heavy breaths. The other one was subtle, but I can at least tell na may kasama sya. "Are you fucking someone right now?" I added, snickering with malice.

I mean it's Rafael y'all. I can't even imagine him touching another person other than himself. Nah, it's impossible but I just wanted to tease him a little. I waited for him to laugh it off but I heard nothing. Agad na nangunot ang noo ko.

"Bro, you know that I was just joking! There's no way in hell na may hahawakan kang iba. You're basically allergic to other people." I added hastily, trying to just laugh kahit na halos mapangiwi na ako kaya it sounded like an awkward laugh.

He sighs. "I am, so shut the fuck up and leave us alone."

And with that he hung up the phone. Huh? My eyes widen in shock. Binalingan kong muli ng tingin ang cellphone ko, nalaglag ang panga ko at hindi makapaniwala sa narinig. What the fuck? Anong sabi nya? He was with who? I looked at my phone, completely baffled.

I tried calling him again, but he turned off his phone. Hayop? Gusto ko lang namang pumunta sa seven evelyn.

"Sinong sasama sakin papuntang seven evelyn haha."

Napakamot nalang ako sa batok ko. I think I just heard the most disgusting thing that came out from Rafael's holy what the fuck mouth. I think I'll just sleep through this hunger, may tubig naman eh.

"Bwesit na buhay to. Oh, edi sila na ang masaya. Pag kayo umiyak tatawanan ko kayo," I frustratedly whispered under my breath.

What if mag pa deliver nalang ako? Makakapasok kaya? I shook my head, of course not. Sarado yung gate tas hating gabi na. Bat kasi inuna ko pang mag emote? Yan tuloy.

Papasok na sana ako sa kwarto ko when I remembered na may mga vendo machine pala sa cafeteria. I snapped my fingers, a grin tugging my lips. Dali-dali akong pumasok sa kwarto ko at kinuha ang wallet. I'll buy lots of food and won't share it with Knox. He away me so why would I.

I scoff before heading out, but before I could I noticed that the door was unlocked. I glanced at his room, has he not come back yet? Ganitong oras kasi nandito na sya. Hesitating, I retreated my hand from the doorknob and walked to his room.

"Knox you in there?" I knocked on his door but there was no answer. "Gonna grab some food at the cafeteria, want to come? I'll treat you."

No response. With knitted brows I twisted open his door, it was unlocked. Gago ah, what if pumasok sa utak kong nakawan sya? Edi waley sya. Tsk. Tsk. Careless. Nevertheless, I peeked through his room.

My mouth gaped for a moment after seeing the state of his room. "Woah, even his room has his personality." I snickered.

It was all grey and white, tidy, neat and no dust in sight. His books were carefully arranged and organized. By means organized, by heights ang pag arranged. His bed was clean like it had been a few days since he last lay down on it.

"Knox, you here?" I tried calling again but no response. Malalim na ang gabi ah bat di pa sya umuuwi?

Seeing that he's not here I decided to stop in his office first before heading to the cafeteria. Once I reached it, I saw lights coming through the gap of the door below. I raised an eyebrow. Abuse na to ah. I bet he hasn't eaten anything yet kaya dali-dali akong pumunta sa cafeteria.

I bought several healthy snacks.

By healthy I mean noodles.

Napatampal ako sa noo ko, kailan pa naging healthy ang noodles? I just bought a few snacks at bumalik don sa office nya. Nag-aalala ako na baka pinapabayaan nya na ang sarili nya.

"I wish I could order some take out for him." I murmured and looked at the plastic full of snacks. I made sure to buy him biscuits, water and energy drinks.

I heave a deep sigh before knocking on his office door nang makarating. I fixed my hair and looked at my reflection on my phone. I nodded when I somehow looked decent in my pajamas.

"Did you forget something Amber?" His tired and crooked voice resurfaced.

I bite my lips and sigh once again. "Knox, can I come in?" My voice was careful and almost pleading.

There's a moment of silence on his side kaya halos hindi ako mapakali. I clear my throat and spoke again.

"I noticed na hindi ka pa bumabalik sa dorm kaya dinalhan kita dito ng mga snacks. You must be hungry," I added.

I heard a noise from the creaking sound of the chair and a heavy footstep coming my way. I straighten my back and compose myself. Once the door opened, I saw his tired and disheveled face. His glasses hanging loose on the bridge of his nose, a dark circle is visible under his eyes.

He leaned against the door frame. "What are you doing here Sevilliana?" he asked, meeting my eyes.

A faint smile tugged the corner of my mouth, itinaas ko ang supot na dala ko and tilted my head. "Snacks. Sabay tayong kumain? Puro noodles kasi ang nandon kaya biscuits nalang ang binili ko." I explained.

Winagayway ko ang supot sa harap nya at nginitian sya ng malawak. "I know you're hungry. This time don't reject my kindness. "

He furrowed his brows kaya wala sa sarili kong binaba ang supot na hawak ko.

"Did I ask you to do that?"

Yan nanaman tayo.

Tuloyan nang nawala ang ngiti sa labi ko. Napahawak ako sa batok ko as I lowered my head.

"Sorry concerned lang ako sayo, Knox. You've been working so much lately at napapabayaan mo na ang sarili mo. I just wanted to help you sa abot nang makakaya ko kahit ganto lang," Saad ko, the disappointment in my voice is evident.

I know how hard it is to be a School President.

Lalo na pag may mga big event.

They often sacrificed their sleep and overall health just to plan everything.

Alam ko rin na he's been harsh to himself kaya I just wanted to at least lessen or ease the burden on his shoulder by delivering him some food and making sure he eats on time.

"I've said such hateful things about you and you're still here acting like I didn't do anything wrong? You should be hating me right now, Sevilliana." This time his voice was sharp and heavy na para bang galit na galit sya saakin.

My eyebrows knitted. Sinalubong ko ang mga mata nya, nagtataka. "What do you mean, Knox? Hindi kita maintindihan. What are you trying to imply? Mag bibigay lang naman ako ng biscuit sayo eh pero bakit ka ganyan?" My confused voice rang through the hallway.

His jaw clench, "Hindi mo ba talaga maintindihan?" he said, almost shouting.

Umiling ako, nalilito pa rin syang tinititigan. "Hindi. Use that fucking sharp mouth of yours to explain everything, hindi yung ganto ka. How can I apologize kong hindi ko alam kong anong ugat nyang galit mo saakin." I paused dahil ramdam kong kumukulo ang dugo ko. I exhale to compose myself.

"Magbibigay lang naman ako ng biscuit sayo ah. Tell me Knox, tell me." I slowly closed the gap between us and stood tall in front of him. I looked at him with such seriousness in my eyes. "Tell me," I whispered.

He scoffed and crossed his arms around his chest. "Puta. Martyr ka rin pala?" Pang uuyam nya na ikinatahimik ko. "Na kahit anong sabihin kong masasakit sayo hindi mo pa rin ako kamumuhian? Despite everything I've done once I called out your name, you'll come running to me like a fucking loyal dog."

Hindi ko kinaya ang pangungutya nya kaya napayuko nalang ako.

"Ano ba talaga ang problema mo?" mahina ngunit puno ng pait na tanong ko.

"Ikaw." He harshly poked his finger on my chest. Masakit pero hindi ako gumalaw. "Fucking hate me Sevilliana. Hate me." He enunciated each word with a hissed.

Pagak akong napatawa. "Mukhang magkakaproblema ata tayo dyan Pres. Yan din ang problema ko eh. You can hurt me all you want; you can beat the shit out of me but none of those will make me hate you." I look up and meet his blazing gaze.

My fist balled and my jaw clenching.

I held his chin tightly.

"You have no idea how hard I tried to hate you...but I just couldn't. I still care about you, and I don't know why. And I hated that. I hate this. So why are you being like this? Ayos naman tayo ah. Kong may nagawa akong masama or may kasalanan ako just please punch me kaya kong tanggapin yun, just don't ignore me like you did."

Dahan-dahang bumaba ang kamay kong nasa baba nya pababa sa balikat nya. My eyes almost swelled up with tears, but I held it back. Pinatong ko ang ulo ko sa balikat nya at pinulupot ang braso sa beywang nya.

"Wag ganto, Knox, please. Sabihin mo sakin kong ano ang mali," I pleaded in a small voice. Ramdam kong nanigas sya sandali. And I took the courage to bury my face in the crook of his neck.

"This is what I hate about you, Sevilliana." He tried to push me away but I refused to let him go.

"No push, no push," parang bata kong saad habang naiiling. "Don't you dare push me away and my biscuits." Matigas kong dagdag at mas lalong hinigpitan ang pagkakayakap ko sakanya.

"Fuck! Let go!"

"Will do. Sabihin mo muna sakin kong bakit ayaw mo saakin."

"What the fuck. Let go already!"

"No."

"You're such a brick headed!"

In a flash, he pulled me inside slamming my back against the wall as the door banged shut behind him— loud and harsh. Nanlaki ang mata ko when I realized our face were only inches apart from each other.

His breath was heavy, syncing with the frantic rhythm of my heartbeat.

He looked at me straight in the eyes— not with coldness, not with anger and it's not even distant like how it used to be. His eyes flickered with something else. Something I can't quite put into words, yet I only saw it when he was talking with Zyran.

"I hate you."