Page 15 of Not My Type, Not Yet.

Seeing someone I've been dying to avoid is probably one of the worst happening in my life. I've been wishing na sana hindi ko na sya makita, but, guess what? I found out na classmate ko pala sya?!! Like what the hell?

What are the odds.

Napahilamos ako sa mukha ko, kanina pa ako iritang-irita sa babaeng nag-iiskandalo sa harapan ko ngayon.

"Can you please stop?!" Naiirita kong singhal. "Para kang manok na hindi mapakali!"

Pinameywangan nya ako at inirapan. Aba! "Sali kana kasi! wala namang mawawala sayo ah!" pamimilit nya.

"Sabing ayaw ko. Saang parte pa ng 'ayaw ko' ang hindi mo naintindihan?" napabuntong hininga nalang ako dahil sa sobrang stress.

Isang linggo nya na akong kinukuyog at isang linggo na rin akong hindi nakakalapit kay Knox, kahit na nasa iisang kwarto lang kami.

I don't know what his deal is, he's been giving me a cold shoulder since then. Mas gusto ko pa atang masapak nya ako kong may nagawa akong mali rather than giving me a cold treatment.

Hindi naman ako ice cream ah.

Napailing ako when she stuck her tongue out and looked sideways to avoid my gaze.

"Sabi mo? wala akong narinig. Ang ganda pala ng nature ano? soafer green, soafer madamo, soafer luscious." She chuckled still looking outside the classroom.

"Natikman mo yung damo? luscious eh. Sabagay mukha ka naman kasing kambing," I smirked. I recline my body in the deck chair, looking at her mockingly.

Agarang bumagsak ang masama nyang tingin sakin. "Huhh?!!! Sa ganda kong to? Kambing?!!! walang hiya kang bwesit ka!"

My eyes widened when she attacked me, I quickly got up on my seat and ran around the classroom. Sasakalin ako nong babaeng yun, hindi gantong sakal ang gusto ko.

"Tama naman ako ah! You looked like a goat with your sideways bangs!" Pang-aasar ko pa lalo.

Her face redden and had become more furious. "Ikaw naman mukhang taong pang second lead! Yung mukha mo parang talampakan!" Balik nya sakin habang hinahabol pa rin ako.

My eyebrows knitted. Gwapo kaya ako, sabi ni mom dati.

"Mukha kang sunog na daing! hindi na pwedeng pakinabangan!"

Tumigil ako sa podium tas umikot-ikot para lang hindi nya maabot. Mas mabigat pa sa lalaki ang kamay nitong babaeng to.

"Ang kapal ng pagmumukha mong maligno ka!" She tried to reach me but I ran again.

"Oi si Abigail at Austine!! Ausbi! Ship!"

Kutya ng isa sa classmate namin kaya napatigil sya. She glared at him sabay turo sakin.

"Isa pang ship! sa ship mo talaga makikita yang walang buhay mong katawan. Bwesit na to nakakadiri ka!" her face contorted with disgusted as she yelled those curse words of her.

I scoff, "Ikaw pa talaga ang may ganang mandiri ano?" napangiwi ako.

This is the main reason why I don't want to be near her, hindi kami nagkakasundo. Una, she'll pester me to join her club, the second I opened my mouth naghahabolan na kami dahil balak nya ata akong patayin.

"Bakit sino ka ba? Mukha ka kasing tae kaya nandidiri ako sayo. Yudeputa nga klase ka laki dya!" She yelled again. Her voice echoed in every corner of the room kaya pati ang mga napapadaan sa hall napapatingin samin.

Yan nanaman tayo sa alien wordings nya.

"Shut the fuck up abi, nakakarindi yang boses mo." I said at nagsimula nang bumalik sa upoan ko.

"Sali ka muna!" She pestered yet again. Her voice was as sharp as the knife in our kitchen. Kababaeng tao ang ingay.

Dinambahan nya ako kaya agad akong napahawak sa kamay nyang nakapulupot sa leeg ko. We nearly fell so I took a step forward. Damn this girl.

"What the heck Abi?! Get off of me you witch!" I tried to yank her hands off but she tightened her grip kaya halos masakal na ako. "Are you trying to kill the shit out of me?!!"

She placed her hands on my eyes, blocking my sight. "Sa tingin mo?" she whispered cruelly.

Napalunok ako. Tangina. Pag ako namatay kawawa yung mag-ina ko don.

I reached behind her and pinched her side kaya napaigtad sya, releasing me fully from her grip. Napahawak sya sa tagiliran nya habang masama ang tingin sakin.

I didn't notice her back then, and if ever I foreseen what was about to happen to me once I met her I'd probably switch my course. Ganon ko sya kaaway.

I mean, ikaw kayang kumausap sakanya. I sometimes don't have any idea what was coming out of her mouth. Tagalog at English lang ho ang alam ko.

"Get away Abi, baka matosta talaga kita." I squinted my eyes to warn her, but she just rolled her eyes yet again.

"Iflush kita sa inidoro eh," mataray na aniya sabay irap, I scoff, lick my lips and roll my eyes at her.

Rerebat pa sana sya when her friends pulled her away. Pinanlakihan nya ako ng mata dahil nakatakip ang bunganga nya. Her friend put her hands on her mouth knowing how loud she could get.

Nice one. Lagutan mo na rin ng hininga.

Minutes later and our next subject teacher arrived. I couldn't focus for some reason, my mind wandered back to Knox. I know he's been cold since day one however, his coldness towards me felt different.

Like he's trying to put invisible walls between us.

I rested my temple on my knuckles. I groaned. This is frustrating.

I don't know what's happening anymore. I just wanted him to look at me the way he looked at Zyran. His gentle and soft eyes, his soothing and calm voice I want it all for myself.

But why would I want that?

Why would I want him to look at me gently? and talk to me with such calmness?

I chuckled inwardly, I don't know.

I just don't know.

Kong ano-ano nalang ang pumapasok sa isip ko dahil sa bwesit na yun. Sarap ayain ng sapakan eh. I want to crush his fucking face, I want to trample his ego so much to the point that he'll curse the hell out of me. I want to wreck him for making me like this.

However, I couldn't even begin to fathom the things that I would do if ever I landed a blow on his face. Not to him, but to myself.

Knox, lunch? my treat:>>>

I sent that message as soon as our class ended. Wag mo akong iseen, kukuyogin kita sa office mo.

No.

My eyebrows meet after reading his reply. Ayos ah, ako na nga tong nanlilibre eh.

Why? u busy? dadaan nalang ako dyan. Ihahatid ko tanghalian mo. Kahit kiss nalang ang bayad mo :)

After I sent my reply I waited for half a minute before turning off my phone.

Ok na to.

Dumaan ako sa canteen at nag take-out nang tanghalian namin. I grin, of course sasabay ako sakanya. Ilang araw na rin kaming hindi sabay kong kumain.

Aside sa hindi nya ako pinapansin minsan, he's been busy dealing with all of the preparation for the upcoming school festival, one week from now on. And I just know na hindi sya nakakakain ng mabuti kaya as a good Samaritan magdodonate ako ng pagkain sakanya.

Sarili ko yung idodonate ko malay mo makain nya.

"350 lahat," ani ng tindera dito sa cafeteria at inabot sakin ang supot. I gave her 500 and waited for my sukli bago umalis.

Napakagat ako sa labi ko, glance at the plastic bag. I know that he likes seafood, pero ngayon puro gulay at manok lang ang tinda kaya yun lang ang binili ko.

Sakanya yung gulay saakin yung manok. Ako bumili eh. Healthy foods muna sya kasi ang unhealthy nya.

Basta ok na to.

I fished out my phone to call him pero hindi sya sumagot. Busy ang linya. My forehead creases and I decided to open the door to their office as soon as I arrived.

"Oh nandito yung roommate ni Knox," Announced by someone.

I roamed my eyes around but I didn't even see the shadow of Knox. Mas lalong lumalim ang kunot sa noo ko. Where is he.

"Where's Knox?" I asked one of his subordinates.

A girl with the glasses faced me and rolled her eyes. Eh?

"Nasa infirmary. I suggest that do----anak ng napaka bastos!!"

Hindi ko na sya hinayaang makatapos when I quickly turned my heels and ran towards the infirmary. What happened to him?

Shit!!

Nagkandahagushos kong binabaybay ang daan tungo sa infirmary. My heart is leaping out of my chest, nanlalamig din ang kamay ko dahil sa sobrang takot. Did something bad happen to him? Fuck!

Please... be alright.

When I arrived at the infirmary, I just stood there for a couple of minutes, hands hovering over the door knob. Why am I rushing?

Nevertheless agad kong binuksan ang pinto. Nagulat ang nurse pati na rin ang ibang estudyante dahil pabagsak kong binuksan ang pinto.

"W-where's Knox?" My lips quivered when I asked the nurse.

She looked at me first before checking her records. I kept on fiddling my fingers, hawak ko pa rin ang supot na may laman na para sana sa tanghalian namin. I felt anxious, please hurry the fuck up...

"What are you doing here?" A voice came behind me and as soon as I recognized that voice I quickly turned around and saw him, standing looking as cold as ever.

I closed the distance between us and embraced him, nanginginig pa rin ang kamay ko. I buried my face in a crook of his neck.

"Fuck you Knox. Fuck you. You make me worried for goodness sake. Next time, call me if something happens...please." Nanghihina kong saad, my heart is still beating rapidly.

May bandage sa ulo nya kaya mas lalo akong kinabahan.

I tightened my hug, I thought something bad really happened to him. Alam kong pinagtitinginan na kami ngayon but the hell I care.

"What happened?" Mahina kong tanong nakabaon pa rin ang mukha sa leeg nya.

"None of your business." He pushed me harshly kaya napabitaw ako sakanya. I nearly lost my balance buti nalang at hindi ako natumba.

I looked at him, confused. "I was just asking Knox. Nag-aalala yung tao sayo eh," I tried to grab his arm but he took a steps backward, avoiding my hand.

He looked at me coldly kaya napalunok ako. "Did I ask you to come here? Did I ask you to worry for me? hindi diba? kaya get the hell out of here Sevilliana, I don't need you."

I blink twiced, tilted my head waited for him to say that it was just a joked. But his cold demeanor told be that he fucking mean it.

I don't need you...

His words echoed in my mind and every time it did, my chest... i felt like someone was squeezing it tightly, harshly.

I chuckled after hearing what he said. "Harsh mo naman, given na talaga na mag-aalala ako sayo. Roommate kita eh," I tilted my head and smiled, but my lips quiver kaya napayuko nalang ako.

"I don't need it, just save it."

My chest tightens, my stomach churned and my breath is getting heavier. I balled my fist what's wrong with him? I was just worried.

"Sure, sorry for bothering you," I muttered in defeat. My jaw clenched, what's happening to him?

Wala naman akong ginawang masama so why is he treating me like someone who's deeply insignificant?

He turned around and started walking towards the exit. Binalingan ko ang nurse at humingi ng pasensya.

"Sorry sa nangyari, may dalaw ata yun." I joked kaya napangiti sya.

"Wala yun, mukhang stress sya kaya ganon. Don't let it get you," she sweetly uttered just to cheer me up. I nodded and sumunod na kay Knox.

Naabotan ko sya sa labas. I heave a sigh and decided to brush off everything that he just said. Baka stress nga kaya ganon.

Ibubuka ko na sana ang bibig ko para yayain syang kumain when I noticed that he's on the phone. But what really caught my attention is his eyes.

Kanina when he was talking to me, his eyes were cold and distant. Now he was talking to someone with such gentleness and tenderness in his eyes, like the person from the other line is his most treasured gem.

"Yeah, I'll call you when I need something....right, I'll let you know Zy... I'm fine just take care.",

Para akong batang nakatunganga lang, my eyes blur kaya tumingala ako. Napuwing ata ako.

I get it, he's not stressed. Iba lang talaga ang inaasahan nyang dumating at yumakap sakanya. And clearly that someone is not me. He'd rather call someone than call me.

"Alright see you Zyran."

Zyran?

When the call ended, his smile abruptly vanished when he saw me. I swallow the lump in my throat sabay taas sa supot na dala ko.

I force myself to smile and appear as playful just like before.

"Lunch? Ibibigay ko nalang sayo ang manok. Masarap to, natikman ko na to dati and I also wanted you to taste this so I bought it for you," I said. For once I wanted to praise myself for not stammering.

He met my gaze, "Have it yourself." He roughly muttered at nagsimulang humakbang.

Unti-unting nawala ang ngiti sa labi ko. I looked down and bit my lips. Just why?

Lalagpasan nya na sana ako when I caught his wrist, stopping him. I lowered my head.

"What have I done for you to treat me like this?" I whispered, enough for him to hear it. "Pag may mali akong nagawa, just please tell me or better yet punch me. H-hindi yung ganto."

"You've done nothing wrong," He said kaya hinarap ko sya but that was probably one of my biggest mistakes. His eyes were enough to cut me deeply.

"I just hated you. More than you could ever imagine, Sevilliana." Mabigat ang bawat pagsambit nya sa mga salitang binitawan nya.

I stood there, the world around me slowing to a crawl, the weight of his words crashing over me.

His words cut deeper than a knife could. Napakagat ako sa labi ko. Kong wala akong ginawa then why did you hate me? What's wrong?

"Why?" mahina ngunit mapait kong tanong. I just wanted to know why para may rason din ako para kamuhian sya. Kahit isang rason lang, kasi talo ako pag ganito.

There's always a reason why you hated or loved someone or something, but in some cases there are none. You just woke up one day and feel like you hated this or that or the other way around. I fucking knew that, but this time I wanted to hear just at least one reason why he hated me, I'll take it even if it's shallow para lang may pang hawakan ako, because I don't understand.

I fucking don't understand the reason behind his hatred.

"Nothing, maybe the fact that you're alive. That's the reason why I hated you Sevilliana, go and blame yourself." There's a controlled anger in his voice. An anger that I don't know where it originates unless he says it to me.

I chuckled, licked my lips and lowered my head. "I see, then I'm sorry."

Mahigpit kong hinawakan ang supot na dala ko, para sana to sakanya eh. I was worried. But yeah I guess he doesn't want it. Pilit kong sinasalubong ang mata nyang kanina pa ako sinasaksak. I forced myself to ignore all of his hurtful words at pilyo syang tinignan.

I just smiled but I don't know what to say. Nangangapa ako ng mga salitang pwede kong masabi sakanya and tell him that I'm unaffected by his harsh and cruel words, but I couldn't find any right words. It had me speechless, like all the words and phrases that I knew vanished into thin air and left me illiterate.

Just then I saw Abigail approaching us together with her friends. Kakagaling lang ata sa gym.

She raised me an eyebrow when she spotted me. "Ginagawa mo dito? mamamatay kana ba? Kelan?"

"Hindi nagluluto ako ng daing na kasing tostado mo."

She scoff loudly, "Racist!!"

I chuckled, "Wala ka namang race kaya hindi mo ako matatawag na racist." I eyed her from head to toe and she does the same to me.

"Meron kaya! Half maganda, half dyosa," she confidently uttered kaya napangiwi ako.

"Half tanga, half aso kako," rebat ko.

Don't get me wrong I wasn't insulting her or anything, she's pretty regardless of her color. Parang naging inside joke nalang namin, we weren't that close but we're comfortable, to be point na kaya na naming insultohin ang isa't-isa.

"Sana ma reject ka!!" Sigaw nya sa pagmumukha ko.

I rolled my eyes. Lumapit ako kay Knox, I wrapped my arms around his waist and placed my palm on top of his belly.

"Sinamahan ko lang magpa ultrasound ang misis ko. Sorry ha, pamilyado na akong tao."

Before he could react agad kong tinanggal ang kamay ko at inakbayan si Abigail. "Tara na, san ba bahay nyo? gala tayo sa Sat. libre kita. "

I turned away, each step felt heavier than the last. His words clung to my skin like a cold rain, creeping in deeply into my nerves and soaking through my bones.

I acted like I don't care but deep down, his words lingered in the back of my mind, cutting...no lacerating me each time.

This is the best thing that I can do... Pretending.