Page 99 of Not My Type (Not My Type #1)

Nickoi

Rick sits beside me, eyes on the bill counter, then starts laughing. “We nuh chap small, enuh,” he says.

I nod, sipping my D’usse Cognac with a smirk. “Neva lie,” I chuckle, but my mind? It’s nowhere here. Hasn’t been.

Smoke curls from my lips as I lean back, watching the team celebrate.

Since I’ve been back, business moving faster, heavier.

Today was busy—met up with my Haitian plug, the same one who kept my father strapped.

Solid man. Business always smooth. We moved weight, made big drop-offs, then spent the rest of the day a dial skull.

“Jah Jah,” Rick grins as he puts more money in the bill counter.

I exhale the smoke, completely lost in my thoughts. The gang play music, drink liquor and count money in bliss around me. When the thoughts start getting to me, I take a swig of my Hennessy. Cyaa bother with deh overthinking thing deh. You a try avoid the fact that you miss Zara.

“Good fi have yuh back here enuh mi killer, but mi know sup’m nuh right with yuh,” Gutta says, pulling off his gloves. He’d been stacking drugs earlier with Keno and the others, eyes sharp, like he could sense something was off.

“Everything Gov man,” I lie.

He doesn’t look convinced, but he lets it slide. “Alright mi Don.” He sits beside me, rolling a spliff of his own. I keep puffing mine, the smoke mixing with the tension in the air.

Rick starts dancing, making everyone laugh. “Jah know, wi cyaa bruck again!” he shouts, the energy shifting as everyone cracks a smile.

He walks over to the TV, chuckling, then starts playing Jamal’s Ballon d’or. “A this the man a talk bout!” he grins. It’s good to see him happy again.

I open my phone and her story pops up. I skip it. She’s already on my mind; mi nuh wah see nutt’n else fi think bout. Mi have a lot of exes, and none a dem never took so long to get over. Now it’s been a week, and not a day pass without me thinking bout Zara. Mi cyaa’ believe a me dis.

When I’m done smoking my fourth spliff, I roll up another, lighting it without a second thought.

The pain’s still there, gnawing at me like it won’t ever leave.

I take another drag, letting the smoke fill my lungs as if it could erase the weight on my chest. It’s new to me, this feeling.

I’m used to being in control, used to keeping my emotions locked tight, but this?

This shit is different. I reach for the Hennessy, gulping it down like I need it to breathe, and pop a weed edible, chewing it slowly.

The burn in my throat matches the ache in my heart.

You a try hard fi avoid the fact seh you hurting eeeh.

“Hey Nickoi,” Juaqína chirps. Mi nuh wah hear har enuh.

She stands directly in front of me, leans over and bites my ear. I hiss and push her away gently. She has the decency to look a little embarrassed. She smiles after a while. “Mi know you and har lef mi nah ask Christ,” she says and I ignore her.

When I’m ready to leave, she’s still standing in front of me. “Watch it,” I say and she moves away. That harsh enuh Nick.

I dap everyone up and leave shortly after. On my way home, I stop by my aunt’s restaurant. I get out of my car, walk in, and realize it’s packed. Dat d’evu faze mi.

One of the workers spot me and smiles. “Hey Nick. Wah yuh want?” she asks. Seet deh... man a G.

“Mi wah yuh deal wid brown stew fish and rice fi me,” I tell her and she blushes.

“Okay hun,” she runs her nails on my hand and I look at her. Oh so yuh want me? She nuh look 3 bad enuh Nick. Yah, but she a nuh Zara.

She walks away, still smiling, and I look away just in time to catch Michelle staring at me. Shit. As she walks over, I feel a bit awkward, knowing she’s about to bring up Zara.

She approaches me with a pleasant smile. “Hello Nickoi,” I return the smile.

“What’s up Ms. Michelle?”

“Just here buying some food for me and mommy,” she says, and I feel a little disappointed. So Zara nuh deh here?

Haha yuh wah see Zara, my subconscious tease.

Mi see har yesterday with har cousins, and she did look sad. Mi wah ask her fi Zara, but mi nuh know wah she a say to dem. The way she look pan mi yesterday, it woulda come off like she hate me.

“Oh, yuh good though?” I ask instead, and she nods.

“I’m okay,” she looks back at the line. “Mi affi go join back cause yuh see how dem pack in here,” she steps off, and I gesture my hand over to the server.

“Hey you want change yuh order?” The same girl asks, and I shake my head no. I point at Ms. Michelle.

“Deal with her. On me,” I say and she smiles before she starts giving the girl her order.

Miss Michelle looks back at me. “Thanks Nickoi.”

“Yah,” I smirk. She’s silent for a while before she speaks again.

“Mi wah talk to you enuh,” her words slip out slowly.

“Ah,” I say simply.

The girl comes back with our food and Ms. Michelle takes hers and I take mine to add pepper to it. When I’m ready to leave, I give the server extra money. “Respect, and tell Aunty seh mi did deh yah,” she nods.

“I will,” she beams and I walk out behind Miss Michelle.

When we’re outside, she sighs, placing her food on the car bonnet before she looks back at me. “It’s about Zara,” she says, her tone shifting.

How she sound so sad? I look at her, curiosity building, waiting to hear what’s on her mind.

“The only time I see her really happy, apart from being around me and mommy, is when you’re around.

And ever since you two broke up, mi nuh think Zara eat two meals good,” she says, worry lining her face.

Jah Jah. “Mi nuh know what’s really going on between you two, and mi nuh deh here fi cause trouble, but if you could look for her, please, it would mean a lot to me,” she says, almost begging.

“Weh she deh now?” I finally ask and her face lightens up.

“She’s at home with Gavin,” she retorts.

“From the breakup she would a come out and socialize a little, but yesterday she go out and come back and mi nuh know what happen, but Zara get worst and as her mother it really a bother me,” she says with a sigh.

A probably true she see yuh.So wah go happen when mi go and she see me again?

Mi d’evu know why mi feel so guilty. “Mi a go link har,” I say and she hugs me. I hold out my hand with the food, using my other arm to hug her.

“Thanks,” she smiles, picking up her food from the car. I spot Mama inside, watching me, and mi can tell seh she nuh inna me. That good still.

ZARA

“Yuh would a go a Riu?” Gavin asks, his voice cutting through the silence as I watch the TV. I glance over at him, shaking my head, not even bothered to entertain the question.

“It’s a nice hotel,” I say, eyes still glued to the TV, not really feeling the conversation.

“Mi a plan fi go deh fi spend a weekend,” he says. “Me, you, Sash, and mi girlfriend, but mi affi go ask dem wah dem think.”

“A Mobay?” I raise a brow.

Mi nuh wah go back a Mobay too much crazy things happen there for my first time. He notices my face and he sighs. “Zara every weh bad enuh but that nuh mean yuh cya have fun, just be careful.” Him not even know say mi nearly dead there.

“Yeah,” I simply say, eyes glued to the screen. I’m watching Good Girls, and Rio’s got me feeling some type of way. His energy? Too familiar. It’s like he’s giving me PTSD. Reminds me too much of him.

“Mi miss the Zara weh mi did used to,” he sighs.

“Me too,” I say honestly.

“Fi real enuh! You were all about trying out new places so yuh coulda wear out the clothes dem weh Aunty spoil yuh with,” he grins before he gets sad again. “And now yuh just... different.”

I sigh. “I feel like I’m changing too,” I admit.

“Maybe a Nickoi,” Gavin speculates. “Or maybe a cause yuh pregnant.”

I shrug. “I don’t know. I just feel stressed these days.”

He walks over to me. “Yuh affi go cut out the stress thing cause it will affect the baby.”

“Gavin you realize say mommy and Mama nuh know this yet?” I’m worried sick about that enuh.

“Mi seh we will find a way... A never that mi seh yesterday?” he snaps at me.

“Sup’m like that,” I mumble and press off Good Girls.

“All dem a go do is cuss yuh, yuh need fi learn fi ignore things cause mi sure dem a go accept the baby, cause a nuh like you underage. The only problem is that you’re not working and the way how Nickoi spend pan yuh, mi nuh see why him wouldn’t spoil his baby,” Gavin says.

Yuh fi listen miss ma’am! Miss subby scolds.

“Well when I graduate and hopefully get a job I’ll feel better,” I say after a while.

“Yes lady. Anyways the cereal alone cya work enuh wah yuh wah fi eat?”

Nothing. “I don’t know,” I shrug.

“Yuh affi eat cause Nickoi a eat fi him food, mi know fi sure and cut out the bawling too. Mi know seh you is a emotional gyal but cut out the bawling man,” he advices.

“Yuh want chicken?” Gavin asks.

There’s the sudden hum of a car engine outside. Gavin moves the curtain, looking outside. “A Mama dem come,” he tells me then he gasps.

I look up startled because him look like him see a duppy. I spring up. “A wah?”

“Nickoi out deh,” he whispers. Wahhhhhh?! Y ay!! Daddy come! My subconscious shrieks.

I look through the window and he walks into the house with mommy. Mama is walking with a box, looking far from happy. “She’s in that room,” I hear mommy say, and my heart starts beating fast.

Gavin smiles at me before he squeezes my hand as the door opens. I sit on the bed, staring at my fingers, feeling the weight of the moment. The awkwardness is suffocating, my thoughts tangled. Just breathe. “Gavin,” his deep voice makes me shudder, sending a jolt through me. Mi feel so nervous.

“Wah gwan Nick yuh know seh mi just did a leave,” he springs up like he was already leaving. Him lieeeeee!

“Ah,” Nickoi simply says and Gavin walks out, closing the door behind him.