Page 39 of Not My Type (Not My Type #1)

Nickoi

I stare at Zara as she storms inside her house and sigh heavily to myself. Me and Zara lef? I’m still trying to process it. Maybe not fi long or maybe fi good, who knows?

Jah know, a foolishness this. Am I mad? Yes. But I’m even more mad at myself because I should’ve left Talia earlier. The truth is, I can’t just change overnight when this is how I’ve been ever since I’ve known myself.

Sigh.. I hiss. Mi a try enuh, and I know I feel something for Zara but it’s so foreign to me. How she fi think mi wah use her?

Yuh think yuh love har? My subconscious asks.

Mi nuh know, mi d’evu understand wah mi feel. Should I go and talk to her? No, give har some space.

I look at her house and sigh before I drive off. I really want to talk to her, but mi a just follow mi mind. I can’t even get her out of my head, it just keeps replaying over and over. Mi o’ just bun a spliff. Mi nuh have no high grade on mi and mi nuh trust certain places.

Cya drop yuh guard fi a one smoke.

I open the pocket of my car and take out my vape. I drag it and exhale the smoke. She seh she love me. She mean that? Hmm... I think she does.

She said it with sincerity but I just can’t understand how someone like her could see herself loving a piece of shit like me.

Is it new to me? No. Nuff girl seh that to me but mi know it’s just for the money or because they want to be called my girlfriend but when Zara tells me that she loves me it just feels different.

Zara isn’t just any girl. It feels like a the first time mi a hear it to how Zara said it.

I’m confused because mi don’t know if a the same thing mi a feel. How mi even know if mi love her?

Yuh feel it... probably yuh fi talk to somebody. Mi nuh vent. When you vent you only a mek yourself vulnerable to people and mi nuh do da thing deh.

But yuh nuh understand what’s happening to you and it obviously a bother you.

I’ll get over it.

A Zara this enuh boss... Yuh dream girl. Chro. Mi cya just become a church man overnight, not that I want a train of girls fi deh with and even if that was the case mi nuh like no ooman weh mi see again since me meet Zara. Mi just cya go be the man fi har though. Who tell yuh that?

Mi did really think it could work, but it just nah go work star. I had the highest hopes for us.

It can if yuh talk to somebody and understand what’s happening to you then you can find a way fi deal wid it. I breathe deeply. Fine. I surrender, accepting defeat against mi subconscious, and take out mi phone.

This is what I mean when mi seh she make me wah do things weh mi would a never yet see miself a do. Mi a go call mi bestfriend. Alrick is the only person I can see myself telling this and mi wish mi never have to.

“Chop Chop?” he answers on the first ring. Like him did a wait fi mi call him.

“Mi wah talk to yuh bout sup’m,” I breathe.

“Wah happ’m? Yuh Gov?” I understand his curiosity. Cas mi nuh call people and talk just so.

“Mi Gov, yuh deh home?” I ask. Mi nuh wah talk bout this over nuh phone.

I didn’t take long to reach his house since mi did a drive fast. His girlfriend comes out. “Nickoi a you that?” she hugs me. I hug her briefly.

“Weh Rick?” I ask and she points in the house. I walk inside and find him dancing to Teejay’s Bitcoin. Him a Teejay biggest fan.

He walks over to me dapping me up, still dancing and I laugh.

“A wah some bwoy a scam faah? stacks and bands ask grandpa... vanilla card we response faah, Trabass Atlanta ahhhhh,” he sings while swinging his shoulder.

Rick always a vibe... especially when him chop a big food. “Dem a chop but eh wull a dem a chop smallll... Cryptocurrency yuh nuh si seh mi stacks tall, tall tall,” he continues.

I sit in the sofa and his girlfriend, Gina stands at the door with a smile, looking at him then she looks at me.

“A everyday thing,” she says and I read her lips, the music is loud. She walks outside.

I chuckle, then my God son runs out. “Uncle!” I ruffle his hair, then he disappears in his room. Rick takes up his iPhone, making a video. Chro. I want to talk about Zara. Nah go rush him though.

He throws a few stacks on me. “We chop food anuh box food dat’s true, wi drop ball inna bad mood, naah stop mark paper like in a classroom. Yow people, see the money man ya,” he says turning the camera on me and I hold up my hand. Certain things mi nuh post.

Man annoying sometime. “Yuh nah post that?” I ask him and the look that I give him tells him not to.

He turns down the music and sit beside me, giving me a cup. He takes up the bottle of Ciroc and pour it in my cup. “Bad man mi nuh have Hennessy, aite?” he says with a grin.

“That good mon,” I sip it.

“Weed?” he asks and I nod.

“Did go ask fi that enuh,” I say and he gets up.

Suddenly, his girlfriend bursts inside, screaming, her hands clutching her stomach—blood seeping through her fingers.

What the—?!

I’m on my feet in an instant, heart hammering, Glock in hand. Rick reacts just as fast, grabbing her as gunfire erupts.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

“DOWN!” Rick roars.

Glass explodes, shards flying as bullets rip through the air.

I drop low, adrenaline surging, and squeeze the trigger.

The sharp recoil jolts my arm, but I keep firing.

Rick is beside me, shooting back without hesitation while he has his girlfriend in his arms. The air is thick with smoke, the scent of gunpowder burning my nose.

Nothing that I’m a stranger to. But, right now couldn’t have been a less ideal time. Shit. Mi affi do sup’m.

I grab another gun from the table and start shooting at them and they start moving back. Who dem man deh?

It’s a lot of them. Shit!

I dial gutta. “Do-” I didn’t wait for him to talk. “Forward with the man them, some strange man show up and mi and Rick cya hold them off fi long a two load a car,” I tell him.

“Ah,” I can already hear him shuffling frantically before the call even disconnects.

Rick is applying pressure on the wounded area, blood pooling beneath his hands. She’s sobbing, her voice weak. “Please...” she trails off.

“Take her to the room and call an ambulance—I’ll hold them off,” I tell him. Without hesitation, he scoops her up and bolts.You one!?

The thought barely settles before another round of gunfire shatters the silence.

Zara

“You a forget the most important thing fi the baby shower,” Mama says and I stop.

She hands me the bag with the gifts. How mi fi forget that?

“Thanks,” I laugh and walk out.

I asked Suzanne to pick me up since I didn’t have a drive so I am waiting for her to pick me up. Five minutes later and she’s here. She’s driving a white Honda CR-V now, so I guess the Porsche is for Junior.

Mi neva’ tell yuh?

“Yuh look nice eeeh!” She says and I can’t help but laugh as I enter the vehicle.

“Thank you, you too,” I say and she drives off.

“Girl if only yuh know how we late,” she laughs. I laugh too and look through the window then my mind runs on Nickoi.

I can’t believe wi breakup. A you breakup with him ma’am.

Yes, because I know my worth. We didn’t take long to reach Kelsey’s house and I gawk at the decora tion.

At the party it’s mostly people from our school and they all look so beautiful in their blue and white.

Unlike other Gender reveal/baby showers, we already knew the gender so we didn’t have to wear pink or blue or anything like that.

As the baby shower goes on, I stay by Suzanne’s side because I don’t know a soul. I know, loner. The guests laugh when some of the games are being played.

Yuh nuh see a bay drama and you sit down a be lame... The games are fun yes but I just can’t focus on anything else because of Nickoi.

“Come on guys if you brought a gift you can put them here,” Kelsey says and everyone walks over to the table, including me. What a shame if yuh did lef it? Sigh.

After everyone hands her their gifts, Kelsey invites some men over to try a blindfold challenge, where they will clothe dolls in diapers.

A few chuckles escape me, yet an emptiness lingers within.

After this lighthearted endeavor concludes, the guys drift back to their significant others. I’m assuming.

I watch as Kelsey hugs her boyfriend and I look away.

A you run weh Nickoi. Memba good.

“Do you wanna decorate onesies?” Kelsey asks and I bob my head. She gives us a onesie and some decorations and I sit down around the table. I start decorating the onesie. By the time I’m done decorating it I’ve gotten more than ten compliments on it.

“Then this cute eeh?” Kelsey exclaims and I chuckle.

It is cute for real.

“Mi hear seh shooting gwaan a Portmore enuh and some a the man them dead,” I hear. Lawd Gad, everyday so?

“Excuse me,” Zanne phone rings. She gets up and I start a new onesie, it keeps my mind off things.

“Yes bae?” I hear her say, my focus on decorating the onesie with these cute stickers.

“Nickoi!?” she yells and I gasp.

Nickoi!?

Her tone sounds like something tragic happened. I look at her and she’s now crying. This cya good.

I feel the life leave my body. My heart rate speeds up and I feel like I can hardly breathe. “What happ’m to Nickoi?” I ask, my eyes watering. God, pleaseeeeeeeeeee make him be okay .