Page 98 of Not My Type (Not My Type #1)

“Mi nuh know yaw, just buy a water,” Gavin rips a piece of the hand towel and starts wiping my mouth.

He looks at me and I start thinking hard.

A mi second time this a vomit from morning and I thought it was the breakfast but it looks like it’s something else.

What if? No... Cya be. Nuh last week yuh fi see yuh period?

I start getting nervous. “What’s the date?” My vision blurs.

When he tells me the date, I gasp out loud.

My mind spins, and I fumble for my phone, opening the Flo app with shaky hands.

A notification pops up: ‘Your period is late.’ My stomach drops.

How did I not notice? A little baby icon appears next to the missed period, and suddenly, it all clicks.

I swallow hard, my heart pounding. No. This can’t be happening. Lawd Jesus Christ!

I lean on the counter ignoring the shocked expression on Gavin’s face trying to process everything. I’m pregnant?

“Zara why you a cry?” Sash’s eyes pop open. Mi not even realize seh mi a cry enuh. Because you a do it too often.. like you a get used to it.

“Zara please tell mi a nuh wah mi a think,” Gavin’s voice drop low. I bob my head slowly. I’ve never felt like this, there are so many emotions running through me. I’m angry at myself, I’m disappointed, I’m confused and I’m scared. Just a bad dream. Nutt’n serious.

Sash’s eyes moves between the both of us. “Wul up wul up wul up wul up!”

“I’ve been taking my pills,” I sob, staring at Gavin.

Gavin face palms himself as he walks around in the bathroom, praying aloud. “God please nuh mek this happen to Zara. Mi a beg yuh.”

Sash looks concerned and for the first time in my life she is acting mature. “Mi go buy a pregnancy test for you,” she says and I nod.

Sash leaves and Gavin looks at me. “Mi know this likkle personal, but you have sex with him in early October?” Gavin asks.

We have sex every other day it’s hard to even keep up. I bite my fingernails looking at him because I’m so nervous. Awwww.

“I-um I think so,” I say, trying to remember. When him carry you a Caribbean Estates. Your first time wid him.

“Yes, early in October,” I shakily say, tears flowing down my cheeks.

“Look like yuh never tek the pill one of them day deh,” Gavin speculates.

“A-Are you mad at me?” I sob and he looks at me with concern before he hugs me. I start crying again and he rocks us.

I’m so mad at myself. “Mi nuh mad at you Zara,” he rubs my back as we hug. Awww.

“Zara yuh know wah mi mean... if it happen it would affect you enuh because you still in school and you not working yet so yuh affi be careful... But mi know you could never make that happen after mi warn yuh so much time.” My mother’s words start playing in my head and the tears continue to flow.

“M-Mama a guh be mad at me and mommy is gonna be so disappointed,” I sob. What about Nickoi?

“Why a wen wi breakup this a happen to me?” I continue to talk while, crying.

“Him nuh wah have nothing fi do with me so a me alone a guh have it. I didn’t plan to have my baby like this, I’m not even working to help myself,” I wail as I wipe my tears.

“Look, yuh nuh know how him a go feel about it! Him probably happy and him probably don’t. And if a that a the case, yuh have me and you have Aunty Michelle, Mama and Sash, people yuh sure about,” Gavin reassures me. I can’t stop crying.

Sash walks in and I start trembling when she gives me the box. Now a the time fi confirm it Zara.

I walk into the stall and I hear someone at the door. “Unuh done with the bathroom?” The security asks.

“It look like wi done?” Gavin sasses back.

After I’m done, Gavin tells me to turn it around and relax for a while before we check the result. I take a moment to pray and focus on my breathing, trying to calm myself before it’s time to look.

“Arite, mek wi look now,” he says, and my hands start trembling all over again. The weight of it hits me like a freight train. Sash, sensing the panic rising in me, places her hand on mine, squeezing it tightly. I feel her warmth, but it doesn’t calm the storm inside me. This moment... this is it.

We all fall silent when we look at it, and my heart sinks as I see the word ‘positive.’ The air feels heavy, thick with disbelief. ‘Sigh,’ Gavin mutters, and I can’t tear my eyes away from the screen. It’s like the world just shifted beneath me.

They wrap their arms around me, and for a moment, I feel a flicker of comfort. “Right now, you might think it’s a mistake, but you’re gonna love him or her,” Gavin says, his voice soft yet firm. I pull away, my mind racing, not sure if I can believe him.” Mi cya believe mi do this.

I wash my hands with cold water, the chill biting at my skin, but it doesn’t do much to numb the ache in my chest. As I stare at myself in the mirror, tears start to fall again. Gavin and Sash walk over to me, their concern palpable. “Zara nuh tell Mama dem yet.”

“We a go think of a way fi tell dem, and yuh nuh in a this alone. You have we,” Sash adds. “And yuh kno’ yuh old foot granny love bring dung people.”

“Yea..” I say but I don’t hear it. Not you losing your voice.

“Too much crying,” Gavin breathes.

I still look a mess even after I’ve freshened up.

My hair was done and I was still neat, yet I still looked like a mess.

My health is deteriorating. I’m not eating properly, I’m losing sleep and my eyes are swollen.

Just imagine. Mi need fi lock up somewhere and nuh ever come out back. Stop Zara! Yuh nuh look that bad.

“Yuh ready fi walk out?” Sash asks, and I nod. Gavin decides to drive my car since I’m in no mood to.

They stay over with me for the night, talking about everything they think might cheer me up. They try to look at the positives, telling me things like how I still have time to figure things out, how it isn’t too late to make a plan.

I stay quiet the whole time, letting the words fly through one ear and out the other. I can’t focus on anything they’re saying because all I can think about is the fact that I’m not out of college yet, I’m not working, I don’t have a house, but I’m single with a baby on the way.