Page 53 of Mariposa (Queens Command #1)

VIOLET

As The World Caves In by Sarah Cothran

H e throws a concussion grenade from his kit towards the enemies.

Loud groans follow suit. It’ll stun them momentarily, buy us time, and give us a small window to keep going even though we both know how this ends.

As soon as they halt fire, we take advantage.

I pull the pistol from his pants and shoot.

We’re back-to-back as Kade and I cover each other and fire.

I’m shouting while blood and spit drop from my busted lips.

Everything hurts.

Suddenly, Kade’s weapon clicks. He turns around, watching me intensely.

I need to buy us more time. Looking around, I find two grenades in the back of Booker’s pants. I grab one and hand the other to Kade. I pull it.

“Frag out!” I shout as I launch it towards them.

Kade mirrors my actions. I hunch over, covering my ears when his massive arms pull me into his chest. He shields me with his body as the two explosions buy us more minutes.

“Do you believe in me?” he yells into my ear.

“Yes, Beast.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course,” I respond without missing a beat.

This makes him smile. God, I love it when he does that. He’s so effortlessly handsome, but this is all so unlike him. His once aggressive, pale blue, vibrant green eyes turn into something I don’t recognize.

“Thank you, Posa. For everything.”

I rear back as he keeps his gaze pinned on me. I keep shooting into the gas until the pistol clicks and nothing comes out.

Damn it! I don’t like this. Why is he talking like this?

“Beast, what’re you doing?” I snap, holding the pistol in my hand until it slices my palm open.

“Thank you for showing me I’m still worthy of a family.

Thank you for making me smile and laugh the hardest I have in years…

I’m no longer a soldier who’s dead inside because you showed me I still can love and be loved.

That my heart still works, because I thought it would beat for no one, but it does for you, dammit.

You are the one who has ruined me for any other soul. ”

“Stop talking like this! Let’s go!” I grab his hand, looking down the cliff. “We can both try to make it down this hill.”

He shakes his head and removes his hand from mine. He denies me and makes my heart shatter.

He really is going to do this.

“You are the woman I want to go to bed with at night and the first person I look for when I wake up.”

“Beast, please…” I keep trying to interrupt because I know what he's planning, and I hate him for it.

“Do you know why I gave you the call sign Mariposa?”

“Tell me when we get out of this!”

“Seeing you the entire time you were my student…you fought to gain your wings. I watched you through a stage of metamorphosis. Your resilience and strength remind me of the butterflies I used to chase as a child during migration season. I would run around the playground and chase them until I couldn’t anymore.

They were always so enchanting, confident, beautiful, and free like you . ”

“Stop it!” I yank his hand, but he carefully slips out of my grasp.

“I’ve always been corrupted by your light, no matter how hard I tried to fight it. I’m not sorry about breaking the rules—I’m only sorry I didn’t say these things sooner.”

There’s a softness about his tone. I’ve never seen Kade this vulnerable before, but all his walls are down. Damn him for doing this because I know that no matter what’s happening, I have to trust him, and at this moment, I don’t care that he’s my leader. We both have to live.

“You better not even think about it. Don’t you fucking dare say it!”

He smirks, tracing a loose strand of hair by my ear. He looks at me like he's trying to save this moment and take a mental picture of us together. He shifts into my superior, a stone-cold, cruel soldier anyone with a heartbeat fears.

“It’s already done. Go now!”

“The hell I am! I’m not leaving you; Beast, don’t do this.”

“Fucking go, now. It’s an order!” he growls, his face so serious it kills me. The vein in his neck bulges with intimidation.

“We’re out of time…you have to go now, or we're both going to die!"

A hot tear leaks down my cheek.

“I am an American soldier!” I shout, closing my eyes tightly, trying my hardest not to let the effects of my TBI get to me.

Kade smirks, while his eyes water, just as my vision blurs more.

“I will never leave a fallen comrade!” I point at him, seething every word. I’m having an anxiety attack. “You taught me never to quit, dammit!”

He can't do this! I won't let him sacrifice himself.

“Violet.” He kisses me hard as enemy fire continues to rain down on us. “Go, now! I need you to save yourself, don’t you see? You’ve never needed me, baby. Never. You’re unbreakable.”

“Kade, I can’t do this without you! Think about everyone! What about me?” I cry out, begging him for mercy. I know his plan will work, and I’ll survive, but at what cost? My heart will stay up here on this mountain forever if he makes me do this.

He cups my face aggressively and crashes his lips against mine.

He shuts his eyes tightly and ruthlessly as though in excruciating agony, matching my emotions.

He grabs something from his kit and forces my hand to open quickly.

I obey and let him command my movements like I’ve always done before.

Something hard with a chain settles in my palm.

Before I can see what it is, he closes my hand, shielding it.

“I am thinking about you! Go! Fall in love over and over again. Get married, have lots of pretty babies, go live your life, and remember it wasn’t your fault, you hear me?”

I sob uncontrollably as the rounds get closer and the enemy’s shouting grows louder. They surrounded us, pinning us down in the open area. They’re so fucking close; I think they’re right above our heads.

“Kade...stop, please! We can’t be out of time…we can’t!” I’m not talking about the mission anymore—I’m referencing us . “No! We’re not out of time, come with me!”

“Baby, you and I will never be out of time. What we have together is infinite. Even when we’re nothing but phantoms with beatless hearts, we will always be perfectly intertwined because you were made for me.”

Another explosion erupts above us, cutting me off.

It shakes the mountain like an earthquake.

My hearing goes out momentarily and is replaced by a white noise ping.

Warmth trickles down my ears. Blood leaks out of them, and more drips out of my nose.

I want to scream, but I hold it in, grinding my teeth until I feel a chip.

Fire flushes through my body in a monstrous wave, making my muscles quiver and cramp.

I’m so fucking frustrated. I wish I had more rounds and more grenades; I’d make it all stop. I’m failing Kade because I need to save him the way he’s been saving me.

He shields me with his arms and body, pushing me back into the wall of dirt and tree roots. He’s still thinking of others before himself. Even in what could be our last moments, Kade O’Connell is the most selfless, giving soldier I know. He proves it every single damn time.

“If you do this, Master Sergeant, I will never fucking forgive you!”

“Then don’t! But I’ll never be at peace if you die!” he screams back, just as he takes a bullet to his shoulder. Blood sprays across my face and into my open mouth. His beautiful face twists into pain, and before I can grab hold of him and pull him into cover, his large hand stabs into my vest.

“Go! I love you, Violet Isla. Do it for me, okay? And most importantly, do this for yourself! Go!” He pushes me off the side of the cliff.

No !

I’m rolling down the side of the mountain in agony.

My body collides with rocks, trees, and dirt.

It feels like I’m pinballing until gravity wins.

My back and legs are getting the brunt of the unforgiving landscape.

Each time I hit something, I cry out in pain.

I try to stop rolling further down multiple times but come up short because I’m moving too fast. It takes me a few minutes to regain my senses when I land.

As soon as I catch my breath, I force myself off the ground and take off running in the direction from which I hear the sound of blades whipping the air.

The rounds grow louder, and bombs continue to wreak havoc.

Then I hear it: Kade shouting to pull the enemy’s attention toward him, instead of me. Doing what he said he was going to do. I turn around and place my hand over my mouth to stop the shattering scream.

The last thing I see from about twenty feet below is Kade taking a bullet to his chest... his heart . He falls over, disappearing into thick trees as more explosions surround him. Fire and dirt explode everywhere, leaving me in a blanket of darkness.

I sink my teeth into my knuckles to stop the sound of a broken, wounded soul.

No one would survive that.

Not even Operator Beast.

“I love you, too, Kade. I love you…” I cry into the palm of my hand. “I love you…”