Page 32 of Mariposa (Queens Command #1)

VIOLET

Love Me Harder by Ariana Grande

M y first mission could be any day, and it’s pure agonizing silence.

It’s been over a week since Kade walked into that room, and he’s been overly distant.

It’s like he can’t stand the sight of me.

Even though months have passed, he’s still in me, gripping my ability to breathe because his memory floods my veins and blood, but then my heart aches because our situation is cruel.

I’m not sure why Booker had me refuel the Humvee, but Kade wanted to ensure I did it right, so he tagged along.

The way he called me a regret on my birthday fuels my anger towards him. Why did he break for me? Why did he kiss me and make me feel like the only woman in his world? Why did we play pretend on the beach if he was just going to treat me like trash when he’s around me?

But most importantly, why do I have any expectations? Why do I crave his attention like a moth to a flame?

I hate being beside him, and he won’t talk to me. I want to get under his skin, how he’s burrowed in mine, and frustrate him.

“The weather is great today. Not too cold, not too hot. Perfect day to run, go to the range, or I don’t know, talk to the person you’re going to be on a mission with soon,” I mutter sarcastically.

Silence.

Asshole. Still a jerk. Why would I think he changed?

“When we stopped in Germany, I decided to travel a bit. It brings me joy to experience the culture, try new foods, and see what life is like in other places. The views you get from different oceans and mountains. The history and art leave me breathless. Traveling can turn you into a storyteller, you know? That’s part of the reason I joined.

I’ve gone out a few times with Castle. We’ve gone to the local markets, and she tries to flirt with the locals. ”

Silence. He keeps looking out at the window as we near the barracks.

I’m trying to get under his reptilian facade, but it’s not working. I have to hit harder.

“Why did you assign me to North Carolina if you’re going to treat me like shit? Why?”

“I can assure you, I’m treating you just like every soldier here that I’m in charge of,” he murmurs, not making eye contact.

I scoff, fixing the sunglasses on the bridge of my nose.

“Really? If you say so.”

“I do fucking say so.” His deep voice vibrates through his chest. “Maybe I assigned you to North Carolina because I know what it’s like to lose the only family you thought you had left. Did it not occur to you that maybe I pulled some strings because of your grandmother?”

Finally, he turns to me while I try to process his outburst.

“If the only family I had left were slipping away, I’d like to think you’d want to be closer to her. It’s not Greenville, but it’s the closest damn army post to that hospital you visit.”

My throat tightens. He did this so I could spend more time with my grandmother. He remembered that conversation in the shower.

He doesn’t miss a thing, does he?

“Pull over,” he growls.

I swerve slightly but regain my composure on the steering wheel.

I turn to make sure I’m not hearing things, and sure enough, the devil next to me is looking straight at me with a familiar scorching gaze. His pupils expand, and the blue flecks in his eyes glow.

What? He’s going to take this from me, too?

“I’m more than fucking capable of driving the Humvee, O’Connell,” I spit back as I continue to drive. My heart thumps faster. Blood rushes to my ears, and I tighten my hand on the wheel.

“Pull. Over. Now!” he snarls in the same authoritative tone he used to scream at me during training.

He’s pissed, but why?

“No! You don’t get to order me around! Not anymore!”

“Stubborn woman.” Suddenly, his big, black-gloved hands roll on top of mine, and he forces me to pull into the parking lot with the rest of the military vehicles. I press on the brakes just as he unhooks his seatbelt.

“What’s his name?” He glares at the ring on my finger.

Shit. I forgot to take it off.

I shake my head. Does he really not know? It shouldn’t surprise me. Why would Adam start opening up to him now?

Don’t say anything .

“It’s none of your business.”

“Do I know him?”

“Why do you care? I’m a regret, remember?”

Darkness looms over both of us like a shadow. His aura has completely changed into something possessive.

“You want to pretend that I’m nothing to you?” With his voice deepening, he says it brokenheartedly. That’s when I realize there are dark half-moons under his eyes. Has he not been sleeping?

“You want to act like you didn’t enjoy my knife being held to your throat, that that night didn’t turn you on, that you’re not dripping wet for me right now, Mariposa?”

That night had been everything. He had unlocked something inside of me I never knew existed. A sense of need and desperation drives a tightening in my core when he reminds me of how he left his imprint on me that night.

“You want to pretend that you’ve forgotten just exactly how I ruined you for any other man?”

My clit throbs as his eyes narrow with joy.

“Let me remind you,” he dares.

“Kade…” I warn. “Don’t touch me if you’re going to run away from me and call me a regret the next day. Don’t touch me if you’re not ready to be a man and claim me like you mean it.”

“Oh, I’m not some fuck boy that falls in love fast.” He points to the ring on my finger with his blade. “I’m a man who’s going to use all your holes and make you forget about the one who put that meaningless ring on your finger.”

His hooded eyes meet mine, my breath catching in my throat. Kade doesn’t talk much, but the filthy words that are coming out of his mouth have my panties soaked. I chew the inside of my lip as his chest rises and falls fast, matching my shallow breaths.

He doesn’t get to do this to me—to play with my emotions and then retreat. If he wants me as badly as I want him, he needs to prove it.

“Don’t you fucking dare run from me this time,” he snarls.

“Is it really me that’s been running?” I point out, raising one brow.

I know I ran from him the night of my birthday at Penny’s house, but I couldn’t deal with his rejection. He’s the one turning me down because he’s scared of the way I make him feel.

“Yes,” he responds sharply.

“I don’t believe you.” I turn off the Humvee, jump out of the vehicle as fast as possible, and run into the nearest building I can find. I’m not sure what I’m doing, but what I do know is that he has my blood heated.

I want to melt .

I want to give in .

I want him to remind me how good it feels to let go and break the rules.

No remorse. Unforgiving. And rogue.

I believe he takes life a little too seriously, and he’s still capable of smiling even though he’s been through dark times. Booker didn’t give me any details, but I would like to make him laugh again and realize I’m not so bad.

Running away, I push into what looks like a medic closet full of kits and supplies. I lock the door, biting my lip. I keep walking back until my back hits a shelf, making me jump out of my skin. His loud, heavy footsteps thud behind me as he chases.

What the fuck am I doing ?

And why does being chased after turn me on so much ?

Two loud knocks rock the door.

I don’t respond as my heart pounds harder against my bones.

A pulse in between my thighs soars as I watch the doorknob rattle.

I should feel bad, but I don’t. I want him.

I’ve wanted him since I first laid eyes on him.

I wanted him even more when he showed me I was stronger than my fear.

No one gets me like he does. No one listens to or sees me like he has or pushes me past my limits like he has.

I. Want. Him.

My phone vibrates. I pull it out of my pocket, and my eyes narrow at the ominous, threatening message. I still don’t have his number saved. He has my number because Booker created a group chat for the mission.

Unknown:

You think a door will stop me?

Me:

Last chance, Kade. If you want me, you’ll have to prove it. Walk away now. You aren’t a man of your word.

I wait silently for the next five minutes, staring at our private messages. Nothing comes through—not even a blinking typing cloud—and disappointment hovers over me. My lips press into a grimace, and my back sags against the shelves.

He really walked away .

Of course, he did.

Shutting off my phone, I unlock the door.

With bated breath, I wait for any type of sound, but nothing happens.

Twisting the knob, I walk out into the hallway, twisting my head to the right.

The small on-post clinic is closed. No one is here.

The small waiting lobby is full of empty chairs.

Not a single person sits behind the empty front desk.

The only sound is the heavy air conditioning running through the ceiling.

A shadow swallows me, and I react quickly. I close the door on Kade once again and lock it. My hands shake with excitement and vengeance as I walk away from his riotous knocks. My chest heaves stormily, brewing with lust.

It grows quiet, making my brow quirk.

Did he give up?

Then, the door caves inward.

Kade kicked the door open.

Holy shit .

If he wanted to, he really would.

Before I can take another step, his rough palm is wrapped around my throat, and the other muffles my scream. He pushes me back into the closet and kicks the broken door back closed until it’s ajar.

“I won’t tell you how I feel—I’ll show you. Is that man enough for you?” His hooded eyes roam my body hungrily. Starving. Crazily.

“Show me.” I dare him.

His eyes darken—the wrinkles around his beautiful eyes crease.

“On your knees.” He attacks my lips with his. I fight him, but he doesn’t budge, even though I want him to fight for me harder.

“Just a guy and girl in the closet?” he asks, breaking the kiss, my lips already swelling from how hard he’s devouring me. He pulls off his belt and smirks. “Like the beach?”

“Kade! I thought we couldn’t do this! Our careers! You told me yourself!”