Page 11 of Mariposa (Queens Command #1)

KADE

ONE MONTH UNTIL GRADUATION

I can’t stop thinking of the way that little stubborn pain in my ass rolled her eyes at me.

I can’t stop thinking of the way it had me flinching to bark out more punishments for her.

The biggest problem of it all? I can’t stop thinking about how much I liked it and the way it had a surge of blood rushing to my dick.

Guilt crashes into me, reminding me of how wrong it is to have that flutter of emotion. She makes me feel …I thought this type of fire was dead to me.

It’s Thanksgiving break, and almost all of my students, except for a few, flew back home.

I have some administrative stuff to take care of here, plus my mother isn’t home, and my son wants nothing to do with me.

There is no “going home” for me. My job is it for me, as it has been for the past nineteen years.

I’m already itching to return to class. I don’t know what to do with myself if I’m not in uniform. And a part of me misses seeing one of my students.

Fuck .

My current assignment as her instructor makes it impossible to escape her, and I don’t ever turn a job down. What is wrong with me?

“Come on, Kade…just like old times, right?” Karen lowers herself until she’s on her knees, and her ass sits on the heels of her feet.

Bringing my short glass of whiskey to my lips, I take a swig.

The familiar poison helps me relax, but it doesn’t change the glare I’m sending her as she plays with my belt.

Karen.

Our relationship started as co-workers years ago. Now we’re friends who sometimes like to bed each other. She’s not my girlfriend. Never has been. We take care of each other’s needs from time to time.

“Where is that mind of yours tonight?” she whispers seductively. Her tongue swipes at her bottom lip. “My mouth is watering to taste you again.”

I continue glaring at her and return the glass to my mouth.

My whole body grows warm, and the demons are silenced.

Why not add a good meaningless fuck to it tonight?

That’s what it always is with Karen—she never expects more.

She knows I don’t kiss on the mouth, either; a rule I’ve had regarding my one-night stand relationships since I divorced.

Kissing is intimate, and I don’t intend to break my rules for anyone.

But when she unzips my jeans, it does the opposite for me. My dick remains flaccid. She doesn’t impact me, not even a fraction.

I’m a numb man who doesn’t know how to feel shit anymore after the things I’ve seen and experienced, but for some odd reason, Violet Isla intrigues me beyond a teacher-student relationship.

I shouldn’t think of my son’s girlfriend more than I do, but it’s hard when her smile makes me weak.

Her voice, her drive, and her strength have me captivated.

“No, Karen. Not tonight,” I murmur.

I’m inebriated, and even when I like to have drunk sex, tonight is different. I can’t do it. I can’t fuck Karen’s mouth because the truth is, I haven’t been okay lately, and as much as I want to fuck my survivor’s guilt away, I won’t do it.

She ignores my refusal and wraps her hand around my cock, stroking it up and down from base to tip, and I grimace.

“Why not? I’ll do all the work; you can just sit back and enjoy.” She licks her lips again and opens her mouth wide so I can see the top of her tongue.

I snatch her wrists firmly.

“I said, no, goddammit,” I snarl. Karen’s mouth closes, and she narrows her brows at me. She gets to her feet with flattened lips.

“What’s wrong with you? You haven’t texted or called since you started teaching this cycle. Who else has your attention? Because I clearly don’t have yours.” She’s seething as she backs away from me with an edge to her whiny tone. She places her hands on her waist, waiting for me to respond.

Why is she acting this way? I thought we were on the same page. Is she growing feelings for me?

I remain calm and collected.

I stand, and the chair screeches back violently. I tuck my dick back into my boxers and pull my zipper back up.

She clicks her tongue impatiently.

When I reach the window to my office, I rub my temples. I watch the ocean waves and see a bright bonfire on the beach. I keep my vision zeroed in on it until my tension eases.

“Nothing’s wrong with me.” I rub the nape of my neck.

“Then why won’t you fuck me?” she clips back.

I’m mentally checked out. I sigh and close my eyes, gripping the edge of the windowsill.

Maybe I should fuck her and be the asshole that everyone thinks I am and have lived up to. I stare hard at the ocean as my phone vibrates in my pocket.

“Hello? Earth to Kade?”

I take it out, hoping it’s Adam. I’ve called and texted him weekly, and he still ignores me.

“It’s my son’s mother. Give me a second.”

Penny:

Happy Thanksgiving!

“Listen, Kade. I like you a lot, and I forgive you.”

What the fuck ? She forgives me for not wanting to have sex tonight?

“And I know how you like to fuck. I miss your touch and the way you mark me. No other man fucks me like you do. You’re stressed out, and I’m ready to take that away from you for a couple of hours tonight, just like I’ve done these past few years.

So if you change your mind and get out of this grumpy episode you’re having.

My hotel room number is 568…I’m at the motel on base. Text me when you change your mind.”

“I won’t.”

She scoffs behind me, and the sound of the door shutting follows.

Me:

Happy Thanksgiving. How are you and Adam doing?

Penny:

I’m good. Busy with work, as always. Adam’s doing good, too.

He looks like me more and more every day, but when it comes to his habit of being a perfectionist, that’s all you.

He’s in his sophomore year of college and getting straight As.

We spent Thanksgiving dinner together, but he left right after eating.

Me:

I’m glad he’s doing great in school. He left on Thanksgiving Day? He must be with his girlfriend.

I don’t know why I’m prying so hard like this. I’ve never asked about his love life, but a sting hits my chest because I dread the answer. Of course, they’re together, and I hope they’re happy.

Penny:

Actually, no. I asked about Violet, but he said she didn’t come home for the holidays. She stayed wherever she’s training. They may be having problems, but I don’t like hovering, so I haven’t asked.

Is she still here? Why?

I hold my phone, staring at the keyboard, not knowing what to say. I’m a man of few words, but suddenly I want to bombard her with endless questions.

Sometimes, when soldiers stay behind, it’s because they don’t have a home to return to. What’s going on between Adam and Violet? Where are her parents? Her siblings? Or cousins?

As my thumb shakes over the screen, someone’s terror-filled screams demand my attention.