Page 35 of Mariposa (Queens Command #1)

VIOLET

T he first day of being assigned to this team was the day I found out that Castle and I would be working together.

She’s tall, beautiful, and outspoken with thick, curly red hair and freckles that cover her nose and cheeks—the same girl I met in the restroom of The Drunken Shell.

She’s more experienced than I, with five years in Special Operations.

She carries an unfiltered mind and has a compassionate heart.

She’s worked hard to get where she is and loves her job.

“So…” Castle throws a peanut into her mouth as she studies me from across the table. She pulls off her hair tie, causing her gelled-tight bun to fall loose. Her curly red hair falls around her shoulders. I place all the pieces back into the red and yellow cardboard box while she finishes her snack.

“What?” I bite my lip, trying my hardest to stop thinking about what happened in the closet earlier.

After Castle beat my ass at Catan and four beers later, I’m feeling more than alive.

The guilt my mother and sister placed on my shoulders surrounding my father’s death is gone.

The last text I received from my grandpa said that Grandma is doing okay and she’s back home for the first time in months.

I got to kiss the man I’d been dreaming about for the past few months.

Actually, I got to do more than kiss him, and I feel like I’m in paradise.

I keep smiling like an idiot, knowing Kade O’Connell was jealous and that whatever is between us isn’t all in my head. He feels it, too. It’s as forbidden as ever, but I don’t want to think when I’m around him.

“Why is your hair so fucked up?”

Shit .

“It is not.” I rear back, my tone heightening. I go full-on panic mode, and I, too, let my long black hair fall loose before twisting it back up neatly.

“Who’s got you smiling like that?” She presses for more, but I shake my head.

“No one.” Forcing my best pretend yawn, I glance at my watch around my wrist, hoping she’ll change the subject. It’s nearing midnight, and it’s way past my bedtime. I hate staying out late, but Anna really wanted to do something fun.

“You think I don’t know you came out of that building with a flushed face and swollen lips?” she continues to pry, hoping I’ll break and give in. She plops another peanut into her mouth.

“Who is it?” she asks with a teasing curve of her pink lips.

I meet her curious gaze with narrowed eyes, biting the inside of my cheek. My fingers tap the Catan box as I contemplate opening up to her. She knows me well after only two months of being around each other. She brings a bottle of water to her pursed lips and waits for an answer.

Sighing heavily, I shake my head.

Whatever Kade and I are or do stays between us.

It’s not because of the consequences or that I don’t trust her—I just want to keep this all to myself without explaining the details to anyone.

People are quick to judge and criticize.

I’d rather not open up about it just yet, mainly because I’m still trying to figure Kade out.

“Look, I’ll tell you my secrets if you tell me yours. I sneak into Slater’s room every night.”

My eyes grow wide, waiting for her to take it back, but she continues to drink water, holding my stare.

She isn’t lying .

“I knew something was going on between you two!” I playfully push her shoulder with my hand. “Is that where you’ve been every single night? He’s the reason why I wake up alone this week?!” The back of my hand smacks her shoulder before I poke her side where her ribs are.

“Hey, bitch, don’t make me spill my water.

” She holds up her water before droplets hit her chest, giggling.

“It’s like a damn sauna in our room, anyway.

Slater is hot. I’m hot. We’re both single, why not?

” she shrugs. “I just can’t believe the guy has me falling for him already. ” She rolls her eyes.

“Sometimes you can’t help but give in to that feeling…” I say shyly.

“At twenty-seven years old, I can say he’s different than any other man I’ve met.

He knows what he wants. There’s no bullshit excuses, no crazy exes trying to rip us apart.

There’s no wife he’s hiding behind my back.

He set the tone, as did I. There are no strings attached, which I admire.

I respect that because I never have to wonder where his head is or if he’s all in. If I fall for him, it’s on me.”

She finishes her water bottle and throws it in the trash can behind her. Even in the dark room, I can see her fighting the blush that wants to paint her cheeks. George Strait plays low and smooth over the sound of muffled conversations with other soldiers around us.

The door to the room opens, and everyone looks at team Delta, the medics, and Booker.

What is he doing here? He’s never out this late.

A group of infantrymen enters behind them.

“Volunteers for a humanitarian mission next week?” A tall man with a beard wrapped around his jaw asks. His eyes circle the room before everyone’s hand springs upward along with mine.

“It’s a one-day thing—it shouldn’t be long. We’re going to drop off medical supplies at a local children’s clinic.”

Everyone’s hands stay up as he points his finger at three soldiers. Then his dark brown eyes meet mine as he adds me and Castle to this list of volunteers.

Getting as much experience as I can overseas would be good for me.

“Not Isla.” Booker cuts in, leaning into the Delta operator’s ear. He nods once before picking others.

My brows furrow.

“Why not?” The question exits my mouth before I can stop it. Standing up with a pointed chin, I walk until I’m in front of Booker.

Why is he sabotaging this?

Booker’s eyebrows shoot up until creases form on his forehead.

“Because I fucking said so, ’Posa,” he grits a shortened version of my call sign with a clenched jaw.

He’s going full boss mode on me, and the friendship we have disappears at this moment.

Everyone in the room turns toward us, which I didn’t want, but I want answers about why I can’t go on the mission tomorrow.

I want all the experience I can get while I’m here. Why isn’t he letting me go?

I open my mouth to argue, but Castle hooks her arms through mine, pulling me outside the building. Dragging my feet against the sand, she continues to haul me further away from the others. She lets go once we round the corner of the building, and it’s just us.

“Isla, never argue with your superiors. Don’t be that person,” she scolds me like a child.

“I want to go with you tomorrow. I want the experience. I want to meet those kids and the medical staff. I need to help out in every way I can. This isn’t fair, and I’d like an explanation, and I want it now. I have nothing going on, so why not join you?”

Since joining Special Forces, I have looked up to and admired two people: Anna and Kade. They set the standard for the dos and don’ts.

“Sometimes we don’t get an explanation, Isla! Sometimes, we’re forced to take orders without asking questions because guess what? Sometimes, it’s better that way! Sometimes , it’s better not to know the answer,” she raises her voice, pointing her index finger at me.

“Why?” I cross my arms against my chest.

She shakes her head, kicking a pebble from her boot. She relaxes her shoulders after taking a deep breath.

“You’ll have to experience it yourself,” she huffs. Turning around, she heads towards Slater’s room, leaving me wondering what the hell she means by that.

Whenever someone tells me I can’t do something, I want to do it that much more. I’m here to honor my father, yet there are days when I’m unsure of myself. I like my job, but I’m not sure I want to do this for the rest of my life.