Page 21 of Mariposa (Queens Command #1)

“I don’t care if your son wouldn’t like this,” she mimics me in a deeper, similar snarl. “I want to dance! Why do you care so much?”

“Fine, I don’t like this ! I don’t like it at all.”

My words stun both of us.

Her face softens, and a blush forms on her full cheeks.

Her naturally full, cute, pouty lips could bring any man to his knees, wondering what they would feel like on theirs.

Her almond-shaped eyes glisten with curiosity.

Her cross necklace is turned over from all her messy, dorky dance moves.

A coat of sweat covers her perfect, glowy skin.

The dress hugs all her curves around her hips and thick thighs.

I’m finally in a position where I can study her body privately without the fear of exposing how she always demands my attention.

Before she can say anything, I react.

Pulling up the top of her dress, the tip of my finger grazes her breast as I cover her nipples. Then, I turn over her cross necklace, so the diamonds are glistening, and it’s on correctly. She parts her lips and swallows while her stressed gaze turns into one of realization.

“Shit, I didn’t know my bra slipped and…dammit. I’m so stupid.” She rubs her temples, moving her red dress up higher.

“No, you’re drunk,” I correct.

Her two top teeth nip at her bottom lip as she looks me in the eyes, but then quickly averts her gaze toward her necklace, as if she can’t hold my stare because she’s too embarrassed.

“And you look...”

Beautiful .

I can’t say it.

Why the hell am I talking?

Shut the hell up, Kade.

Her gaze flicks to mine, her honey eyes with gold flecks brightening—the same way they did in that damn fucking shower. She’s waiting for me to finish my sentence. I can’t think straight. Maybe I’m also drunk, tempted to say things that will have consequences.

“How do I look, Kade?”

The way she says my name…my dick swells. Suddenly, my jeans become tighter, and a wave of too much damn blood rushes down. Fuck, I already need another ice-cold shower to get rid of what she does to me. Her beauty wounds me.

“It doesn’t matter. Stop acting so carelessly. Get your shit together. That guy almost took videos of you! First, you get drunk and end up on the rooftop’s edge, and now this? Both times are on my watch!”

Her stern expression mirrors my own. “You are not my instructor anymore.”

“No, but you’re Adam’s, and I’m just looking out for the both of you!”

“How many times do I have to tell you that we’re not together?!” she shoots back and leans on her hip.

“Dammit.” I point my finger at her. “Get sober, Isla, and?—”

“Kade! Where are you?” Karen’s voice screeches behind me, not letting me finish. Her high-pitched, whiny tone makes the cloud I’m floating on fall to the floor, and it’s back to reality.

I twist around to find the back of Karen’s head at the opposite end of the hall.

“You better get back to your date,” Violet murmurs. She twirls around, the ends of her dress lifting momentarily, and disappears into the women’s restroom.

“Fuck.” I curse under my breath, low. Turning around, I pull out my smokes.

I need to burn one.

I don’t think Karen heard anything because she stays calm as I stalk past her.

“I’m going outside,” I tell her. She gives me a small smile when she sees me, but it’s gone in the blink of an eye.

“What the hell was that?” Karen follows me out of the bar, her voice only getting under my skin. It’s different with Karen lately. I can’t bring myself to talk to her like I used to.

“What was what?” I snap. We pass Slater and Booker through the doors. They’re lost in conversation as they walk nonchalantly back into the building. I pull Booker by his collar with one hand until I’m at his ear, so he can hear me loud and clear over the music.

“Keep an eye on Violet. She’s drunk, and I refuse to babysit her now that the course is over.” Releasing him from my grip, he stumbles into Slater.

“Where are you going?” Booker asks as he holds the doors open so Slater can walk back inside The Drunken Shell first.

I point to the ocean across the street.

Still walking in tense silence, I nervously take out my knife and twirl it between my fingers.

The urge to carve something is high, and it’s not the wood projects I like doing.

I need to talk myself down from going back in there and carving up everyone who saw her tits and didn’t say anything to warn her.

“Is that girl the reason for your sudden abstinence from sex?”

I don’t respond. I’m too pissed. Her question goes in one ear and out the other because I’m still fuming.

“I’ve never seen you this way. The way you watched her.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I place the knife back into my pocket.

“The way a man looks at something he wants but can’t have.”

I halt.

“ Jesus , keep your voice down.”

“She is the reason, isn’t she?”

I run a hand through my hair while she continues to interrogate me—there’s a damn volcano inside my chest, boiling over, waiting to erupt, and there’s no stopping it.

“Karen. You sound ridiculous! That’s my son’s ex-girlfriend.”

She rears back. At first, her face is still, deadpan, but then the skin around her blue eyes creases, and she sighs. Her pink lips lift into a relieved smile.

“Whew. I thought you had feelings for that woman. Thank God.” She intertwines her fingers inside mine. “You were just looking out for her. I’m sorry. I know we agreed to no attachments. I do, but I can’t help it when it comes to you. I thought you were jealous.”

Jealous?

Feelings ?

That I do have for her.

Frustration. Confusion. Maddening affliction.

I’ve never felt like this. This emotion makes you want to burn down the world if anyone tries to touch something that doesn’t belong to them. A feeling that makes me want to make sure she’s okay in every sense of the word.

No.

She’s a pain in my ass. Nothing else, nothing more.

“Kade, where are you going?” she asks. She switches from my fingers and hooks her arm with mine, struggling to keep up with my pace.

I sigh.

Bringing the lighter to my lips, I keep walking toward the beach access. Every step away from Violet makes it easier to think but harder to breathe. The cigarette bud is between my teeth, and I spark it three times before it finally lights, and the tip sparks.

“On the beach,” I say. Something about the ocean always calms me. I could stare at it for hours and lose myself in someplace no one can follow.

“Obviously, but why don’t we go to my place instead?” She tugs my wrist in the opposite direction. Her two front teeth are biting into her bottom lip in an attempt to seduce me.

I wish it were that easy.

“I think I want to stay out here for a bit before I call it a night,” I grumble through the cigarette.

She crosses her arms as the wind blows through her blond curls. She suspiciously narrows her blue eyes at me as I smoke and blow it in the opposite direction.

“Look, if it’s not a woman on your mind, then what is it?”

“Karen,” I warn her.

I’m a man of few words, and Karen is pushing it. I don’t like to open up about shit. I keep my life private. Hell, I don’t even have social media. I’m a ghost online; only my close friends and family have my number.

“Do you want to talk about what’s on your mind? Was it this last deployment when you lost that kid?”

Kid .

And just like that, images of watching the father-to-be die come back like a trigger. I halt my movement, my fingers sticking to the cigarette, losing myself in the last mission before returning to the course.

The sound of his body hitting the floor after being shot two times.

It all plays in my head in slow motion. His pale face looked like it was frozen in time as he took his last breath.

We all fulfilled his last request, which was for us to let his wife know he loved her when he only had seconds left to live.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

Seven .

“Kade?” Karen waves her hand in front of me with a puzzled look on her face. Her dark brows pinch together as she approaches me with evident hesitation in each slow step.

“Fuck,” I mutter when I realize my cigarette was blown out moments ago. How long was I lost in my head? My hand falls to my side.

“I’m sorry, Kade. I didn’t mean to bring it up.”

How can she think that bringing up a mission where one of my soldiers got killed would be a good topic of conversation?

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” My words aren’t convincing her. Hell, they’re not convincing me either, but I don’t open up about this shit to anyone. And Karen doesn’t know how to keep anything to herself. I don’t trust her. I don’t trust anyone.

“Let’s go back to my place and not talk if that’s what you want,” she insists eagerly.

I tuck one of her blond curls behind her ears, and she holds her breath as a hot pink shade paints her cheeks. When I run the pad of my finger across the shell of her ear, she lets out a soft, short mewl. My jaw tightens as I look at her for the last time tonight.

“Whatever this is between us…it’s done.” I withdraw my hand from her face, turn, and walk away.