Page 13 of Mariposa (Queens Command #1)

“My son surely misses you,” he states like he’s thousands of miles away, in a cold, distant tone, even when he’s just an arm’s reach away. Standing in front of me like the massive, feared, masculine, special operator that he is.

So, he does know about Adam and me .

“I’m sure he does, but—” I miss my footing when I try to stand straight, causing me to bump into his muscular triceps. I’m about to fall over again, but he catches me by the elbow.

The alcohol I snuck in is catching up to me. Can I get myself into more trouble tonight? The mood shifts between us, and a low buzz sizzles when I graze his rough skin.

He brings me back to my feet. His scent is so distinct and good . I’m not sure if it’s his cologne or if it’s just…Kade. Either way, there’s a temptation to drown in it. I take a step back, and he lets my arm go. My flesh is already missing how his calloused palms and veiny hands felt around me.

No . I really shouldn’t feel the pulse that’s beating in between my thighs right now. He’s my thirty-eight-year-old instructor and my ex-boyfriend’s dad.

Off-limits is an understatement.

“I can smell you.”

My brows lift.

“Fuck, I forgot to put on deodorant, didn’t I?” I scrunch my nose.

“You know what smell I’m talking about. Are you drunk? Is that why you’re stargazing a little too hard at the sky, Isla?” Mockery laces his words as he scorches me with that deadly glare.

“Nope,” I pop the p, slow as I slur drunkenly.

I give a slow blink, my lips curving into a smile.

“Not at all, Master Sergeant.” I salute him, hoping my humor distracts him from tearing into me.

I try to stay still, but it feels like I’m on a damn carousel, and the ground is spinning.

I blink again and purse my lips together.

My emotions are giving me whiplash tonight.

A minute ago, I was on the verge of a panic attack, and now I want to break out in drunken giggles.

I do this a lot. Using humor as a blanket to disguise the pain.

“Is this funny to you, Isla?” He stalks forward, arms crossed against his chest. “Because this isn’t a fucking joke!”

Oh shit .

He’s really not the joking type.

“Almost getting yourself killed because you went past your drinking limits?” he barks like training is in session again. The vein in his neck bulges as he continues to rip me apart. Usually, I gladly take it but tonight is different. My walls are down.

“I can have you kicked out of the course for being irresponsibly drunk right now! Or I can send you to the hospital to get a psych evaluation because I’m required to report it, and it’s the rule.

I always follow the rules! And that’s what I’m trying to instill in all of you! You all aren’t children!” he snarls.

Shamed, my gaze drops.

Damn it. I can’t get kicked out. I’ve trained too hard for this school to lose it like this.

“I’m sorry, sir…I just.” My front teeth tug on my bottom lip.

“You just what?” he hisses.

“I take this school seriously. I’ve worked hard to get here, and graduating is my number one priority. I…”

Why does he have this effect on me? I don’t break.

I don’t get scared easily, but the cruelest operator known to the military is in front of me…

and even I am not immune to the way his eyes scream a thousand truths.

With one look, you’ll know that Kade O’Connell is a man of action and few words.

He has me sputtering, overthinking, and consumed, making me think twice before I open my mouth.

“Let it out, Isla!”

I bend. I finally bend and let my own emotions pour through.

“I want my grief to stop. Thanksgiving is a day of family…and I’m not sure I have any left anymore.”

A vague truth.

I want to tell him about my dad, sister, and grandmother, but I’m giving him way too much.

Opening up can be a good yet vulnerable thing because there are two types of people.

People who actually want to help, or people who want to use it against you.

I don’t know Kade very well, but if he’s the monster everyone says he is, everything about tonight could have me kissing my career as a special forces soldier goodbye.

I can’t look at him anymore, so I focus on the ground as the wind blows through my long hair. The pause between us is only seconds, which feels like minutes.

I messed up.

What was I thinking?

He breaks the silence, and I’m ready to face the consequences.

“I can do all of those things. I can get you kicked out, or …” He steps closer to me, and his enormous combat boots come into view. He tilts my chin with his finger, forcing me to meet his softened gaze. A spark of lightning hits my chest at the origin of his touch.

The stars twinkle in the black sky behind him, and I swallow as my vision blurs. Why does he make falling apart easy? Why do I seek his approval like my next breath?

“I can walk you to your barracks and make sure you get to your bed safely, and I never want to see you up here on my rooftop again. Do you understand me?” His voice deepens as his eyes darken.

I’ll take that one .