Page 51 of Mariposa (Queens Command #1)

VIOLET

A m I dead?

I don’t remember how I got here. Memory eludes me.

All I see is black. My nerves are numb, like I’m weightless, which could only mean Death has finally claimed my soul…

right? But then the distant sound of the helicopter engine comes back into my ringing ears like a muffled nightmare.

Memories of how I got into this situation creep inside me and contradict my initial thoughts.

It’s not a dream. It’s my horrid reality.

Adrenaline floods my veins, and my eyes shoot open.

I’m flat on my back, and my chest rises and falls rapidly as I catch my breath.

My fingers tremble as I try to trace the blades of grass on the ground.

I blink the darkness away and fixate on the sky.

All I see are stars. They dance in my blurred vision.

This can’t be good .

Panic is causing me to become more aware of how I got here. I roll to my side, and liquid warmth falls into my eyes. I immediately react and inspect what’s blurring my vision with my index finger. I poke what I’m hoping is sweat, but red paints my fingertips when I retract.

I’m bleeding.

I tilt my head to the side, and finally, the numbness fades and is replaced by excruciating pain.

I groan when a shooting, stabbing sensation strikes my ankle when I try to drag my knee up.

I let out a shriek followed by strangled whimpers.

As soon as I’m hit with agony, I drop my foot, and the pain lessens to a bearable amount.

“Mariposa!”

My team leader’s voice booms. He sounds close, yet so far away.

Where are we?

“Mariposa! Where are you?”

His tone sends that familiar burn through my chest, and I yearn to see him. Is he okay?

“Beast,” I try to shout, but his call sign only comes out as a dry, low, and soft croak for help. I clear my throat and try again.

“Beast! I-I’m over here!” I lift my hand, hoping it’ll help him locate me. I wait a few seconds, craving to hear his deep, worried voice again, but he doesn’t answer.

Placing my palms on either side of my hips, I change into a sitting position.

I need to get up—we’re still in the fight.

I grit my teeth as red drips off my chin and onto my camo pants when I find the tall tree only about a foot away.

I scoot and drag my legs until I get to the thick tree.

The entire time, I’m scraping my limbs across the ground, I take in the dark sight before me.

My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach as the ghastly images tattoo themselves into my brain.

Bodies are being burned in front of me in the wreckage.

Their bodies, from head to toe, are in flames.

Some are missing limbs. Bile rises into my throat just as I’m hit with a wave of nausea.

I swallow it back down and shut my eyes tight.

My blood turns cold, and the strength I once had fades.

“I see you! Don’t move!” His footsteps thud louder, and I know he’s near. My dry lips curve into a small smile, knowing we’re okay and both still have beating hearts accompanied by warm flesh.

“At least you can walk,” I joke, my eyes still shut as the darkness pulls at me, pulling me back into dark shadows. I’m fighting it as much as possible, but it’s useless. My brows pinch together as I try to open them again but fail.

I hate failing .

“Don’t talk, just stay awake for me!” he orders. I feel his hand on my ankle, and I whimper, but I can’t open my eyes anymore. My adrenaline has deteriorated.

“I think we’re one of the lucky ones…we’re not dead,” I tell him with hope laced in my dry tone. Despite our horrific situation, being alive has to mean something. Everything will be okay.

“Kade, is that you?”

Booker’s strangled voice seeps into the air over the crackle of fire.

“Did we really fucking crash? Am I alive, or am I talking to a ghost?” His footsteps grow louder, yet I can’t look at him. I’m increasingly getting more and more nauseated with each dreadful second.

Fuck, why can’t the spinning stop? I need to get up and help! But I can’t. No matter how much I try to open my eyes, it worsens.

“Give me a few seconds, and I promise I’ll get up,” I mutter.

“The fuck you are. Stay down,” Kade growls.

The sound of his heavy footsteps stops next to my head.

“Is she…?” Booker’s heavy gulp is audible.

“She’s alive, but she hit her head too hard; she may have a concussion. Her ankle’s fucked.”

“Shit…” he rasps before coughing hoarsely. “And you? How badly are you hurt?”

The sound of him patting his body makes my eyes flutter open.

“I’m pretty sure my left wrist is broken, which, as long as it’s not my carving hand, I don’t give a fuck, but my damn shoulder. It’s dislocated. I need you to pop it back in.”

I slit my eyes. The arm with the skulls and snakes dangles like he has no control over it.

His uniform is ripped in several places all over his stomach, arms, and legs, revealing a precise, deep, third-degree burn on his tricep.

Dried blood trails down his nose, leaving drops of bright red all over his chest. Booker looks the most put-together out of all of us. It’s a miracle we’re all still alive.

Booker rounds over my body as both men stand up. He grabs hold of his back and arm just as Kade stares me down so seriously—a vein pulsing in his neck as he mentally prepares for the agony—his feet planted on the ground and his thick thighs tensed underneath his pants.

“Are you ready? I forgot how fucking huge you are, asshole.” Booker huffs as he strengthens his grip around Kade’s massive muscles.

“Fucking do it already,” he snarls.

With one fast yank, a loud pop follows suit. Without missing a beat, the quick maneuver forces Kade to let out a heavy breath. He clenches his jaw as he grunts low and deep.

“All good now. I can move my arm again.” Kade clears his throat, rotating his arm up and down in repeated circular motions.

If he’s in pain, Kade masks it with his ice-cold, stony expression.

He kneels by me, our proximity making my heart leap.

God, I love him. I fucking love this man, and yet he ended things. That type of pain will have to wait.

He cups my face with both of his hands.

He’s worried about me, but I need him to believe that I’m okay even when my condition is uncertain. The mission is still on. He can’t be here and knows it.

“I’ll be right back. We have to?—”

“Just go. Don’t worry about me. I’m okay right here.

This tree and I are going to be best friends.

” Patting the bark, his lips curl. I force humor out of my mouth, trying to lighten the mood.

I love it when he smiles. “Plus, I don’t want to throw up on you.

I’m pretty sure it’ll happen in the next few minutes or so.

You already look like someone threw up on you, Master Sergeant.

Both of you go and see if any of the others are alive.

I’m solid. I’m fucking good. Leave!” I point to the wreckage weakly.

“Always ready to bark out orders instead of taking them,” Kade scoffs, and Booker lets out a humorless chuckle.

“You got that right,” Booker says with a tilt of his trembling chin. He takes off limping, and we watch him disappear into the crash site behind the thick brush. Kade turns back to me and pauses, his beautiful eyes lingering on the massive cut by my temples, then leans in.

“I’m okay. Really. It’s just a scratch.”

He shakes his head and smiles. His tongue sweeps the bottom of his sharp canines.

“Good.” He pecks my lips quickly. The touch sends a fiery tingle through my heart. I don’t remember our argument before the crash; none of that matters now. Our relationship status doesn’t matter.

“You’re smiling.” I reach out to touch his beard, but he lays my hand back down to my side before I can feel him.

“You’re alive,” he declares.

And with that, he takes off and runs towards the body of the Chinook.

Looking down at my ankle, blood keeps pouring out of the wound. Maybe it’s not as bad as I think. Perhaps I can help. I hate feeling like I’m out of the fight. They both need me right now.

When I move it, though, an agonizing pain spears through me, blinding me.

My legs drop down as I retch into the dirt, throwing up stomach acid…

and dark blobs of blood. My stomach continues to heave violently as a burning sensation slides through my abdomen and throat.

With my head pounding, I close my eyes, but the stars follow me into the darkness, twinkling in my blackened vision.

Shit. That can’t be good.

I pass out.

“Dad! Please help me! Dad!”

I’m back in freezing, fresh water, scrambling and begging for air. The water is so uncomfortably cold that it leaves a burning sensation throughout my nose, lungs, and throat.

“Mija! Violet!” his urgent blaring is barely audible over the stream of water. My dad’s body is completely blurred, and I can’t see him anymore as dark blue waves continue to wrack me repeatedly.

I didn’t anticipate the current being this strong. I underestimated it, and I’m paying the price. Every time I try to rise above the water, I get swallowed back down with only my hands breaking through the surface.

I try my hardest not to breathe, even though my lungs are burning, desperate for air. The sound of water muffles my screams and cries as I fight for my life. My back collides with a sharp rock as the current continually throws me in different directions with no remorse.

Everything is moving so fast that dark shadows cloud me like tunnel vision. My energy depletes, and everything grows quiet. I can feel myself sinking further down, accepting defeat against my will. My heartbeat slows as I try to call out again, but my mouth doesn’t open.

The next thing I feel before all hope is lost are arms around my waist.

Dad.

The sound of fireworks jolts me awake.

We’re still at the crash site, Beast and Chaos are still searching for more survivors.

Unfortunately, the wreckage was littered with pieces of the helicopter amongst all twenty dead, mutilated bodies. Images that will haunt me forever. To see our team, the strongest, most respected, brilliant men I’ve had the privilege to get to know, gone in a blip, a couple of seconds…

Their families will never see them again—their wives…their children. Something chips inside me, and I don’t think I’ll ever get it back.

I blink weakly to see Kade change into the instructor who always intimidated me before.

He is strong, stern, and stone-cold with purpose when he needs to be.

Even though we just survived a helicopter crash, I won’t let myself fall apart.

Not right now, not when the enemy is nearby, and maybe around the corner, getting ready to scavenge the sight and look for us.

We have to move faster.

“They shot us out of the sky! We were in the sky, and now all of our friends are fucking dead, brother. We’re screwed! I finally have a girl waiting for me back home, and now I might not see her again. My mom, my sisters, oh, God. I?—”

Kade lurches forward, his right hand curling into his vest, and shakes Booker vehemently. His nostrils flare as he looks him dead-straight in the eyes.

“Chaos. Get. Your. Shit. Together. We’ll hike down this mountain, and everything will be fan-fucking-tastic. You’re going back to that girl of yours. I need you right now. Do you get that? Because I can’t carry both of you. You have two working legs, use them.”

I blink weakly, watching Booker go from panicking to relaxed with each passing moment. He nods, flexing his jaw. Sweat trickles down his muddied, soot-covered face. We're all covered in it.

Kade is the strongest soldier and man I’ve ever known. His ability to bring out the fight in us is incredible.

"Roger that, Master Sergeant."

“I’ve only got my knife on me. We have to move.

The enemy knows we’re here,” Kade says. His strong arms lift me into his arms, and I weakly nestle into him as much as I can to make carrying my dead weight easier on him.

Even though we’re out in the woods, surrounded by smoke, his warm scent still lingers, calming my bundled nerves.

“And go where?” Booker sputters out nervously.

“So…what’s the call, Master Sergeant?” I manage to force out of my dry lips, still with my eyes closed.

“I thought I told you not to talk. Save your energy, soldier,” he growls.

Booker clears his throat.

“What do you want to do, O’Connell?”

“We’re hiking back to the closest FOB. It’s our only option. I’m sure they’re already looking for us. They might find us on the way.”

Everything grows quiet as my two superiors stare at each other menacingly like beasts ready to fight to the death.

They’re not holding that energy towards one another, but rather for each other.

The way Booker relaxes, his tears dissipating into thin air, tells me Kade knows his best friend like the back of his hand.

Kade is just like that—always knowing what to say and when to say it to keep the morale and mission on track.

A buzzing, fatal bee zips right past my ear and burns the flesh on my cheekbone with its grazing shell. My first instinct is to scream, but I’m silenced by Kade pulling me into his chest, shielding me. His hardened muscles coil me tighter until it hurts.

I’ve been shot in the face.

“We’re taking fire; we’ve got to move!” Kade booms.