Page 71 of Just A Little Joy

He didn’t answer aloud, just nodded and stood, waiting for me to follow. I kissed his cheek and asked him to wait in the doorway while I turned off the lights and checked the front door.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“You wanna take a shower with me?” Casey asked it like I might say no, which was wild. I would never say no to taking care of him. Ever.

“Yeah, I can do that.”

I took his hand and led him into the bathroom. I flipped the shower to his preferred temperature, then undressed him piece by piece. Tonight, he didn’t lift a finger to help. He just stood there, trusting me, his eyes droopy with exhaustion. I wanted more than anything to take every burden from him, but I knew he’d pull away if I tried too hard.

“I’m coming, bub. Just a second.” I guided him into the warm spray and grabbed the loofah, gently scrubbing him down. He stepped forward to rinse, quiet and pliant.

“Have I ever told you that you’re the only person I’ve ever known who washes their hair second?” I teased.

He smiled faintly and shook his head. “How you know? You ask them?”

The soft teasing lit a small flare of hope in my chest. I tried not to let it burn too bright. The disappointment would gut me if I did.

“I don’t,” I said, massaging shampoo into his scalp. “Feels like something that’d come up in conversation though.”

Casey tipped his head back into my hands, letting the water wash over him. The little sighs and soft noises he made filled the shower. They didn’t make me hard. As beautiful as he was, this wasn’t about getting off. This was about caring for him. He sure as hell didn’t need my dick distracting him when he was this tired.

“You have strange conversations, Daddy.”

“I surely do, bub.”

When he was clean, I washed and rinsed quickly, then hustled him out of the shower. He stood on the bathmat dripping everywhere, making no move to dry himself or get dressed. He was fully in little space, wanting care, and I was happy to give it. I toweled him off, detangled his hair, and helped him into his briefs—spaceships tonight—and his pajamas, an astronaut suit of course. Then I guided him to the sink to brush his teeth.

Casey looked so small in my bed, snuggled under the midnight-blue duvet pulled up to his chin. The king-size mattress with pillows propped up under him swallowed him, made him look lonely in a way I hated. I slipped under the covers beside him and grabbed my phone.

“Any requests, sweetheart?”

“You pick, Daddy.”

After a quick scroll, I found one I knew he loved and opened it. For the next fifteen minutes, we followed Big Nutbrown Hare and Little Nutbrown Hare through all the ways they loved each other. Casey mouthed the words as I read. We’d gone through this book dozens of times.

When we finished, he whispered, “Thank you for everything, Daddy. Everything.”

He wasn’t mine. But the way he curled into me, the way he trusted me with every small, sleepy piece of himself. God, I hoped he’d stay long enough to see what we could be or changed his mind. My gut told me he’d made a decision.

It wasn’t me.

SIXTEEN

CASEY

Rory

You sure this is what you want?

Casey

Yeah. I’ve never been to Alaska, but it’s been on my list forever, and now I get to go. On someone else’s dime.

Nico

I love a deal, but we’re gonna miss you.