Page 24 of Just A Little Joy

“Gonna ’ait for me?”

“Happily. I’ll be with the Daddies, okay?”

“’Kay bye.” And without a look back, Casey was enveloped by his friends, and they disappeared into the crowds.

Casey being a little? Better than any blue line goal ever felt.

SIX

CASEY

This was bad. Really terrible. I didn’t know how to get out of it. What was Travis going to think of me? Why was he even here? How did he know I was in the restroom? I knew he’d said something about Jakob, but I hadn’t been listening because I was busy fiddling with my zipper. Then Travis said something else, and now I had no idea what he’d been talking about.

The panic sat hot under my skin, that old fear of messing everything up rising fast.

“Travis fixed you?” Rory asked expectantly.

“Yeah, but I dunno how he found me.” Maybe he might have told me in the restroom, but I don’t remember. I was nervous he was in there.

“I helped him find you,” Jakob said proudly. “He was getting a drink, and I told him you needed help, and he said you gotta get fixed, and he did,” Jakob said before he stopped holding hands with Owen and started dancing. It had butt shaking and spinning and twirling, and I don’t know what else, but we had to dodge his hands.

Part of me warmed at the idea that he noticed I was gone before anyone else did.

“You told him I was little?” Nobody should tell on you. What if you wanted a secret? “You told him?”

Secrets always felt fragile to me, like one wrong word could shatter the whole thing.

“Yeah, he knew. Maybe? I thinked he knew, right?”

“No, he hafta be told. You told him,” I said with a scowl.

“Oh no. Oh no. I sorry, Casey. I super-duper sorry.” When he said sorry, Jakob sounded like he was gonna cry, but I didn’t want him to do that. It wasn’t on purpose, even if I was a teeny-tiny bit still kinda sorta mad.

“We need the Daddies,” Nico said with a glance over his shoulder. “They fix it and tell Travis he gotta keep secrets.” Nico put Owen’s hand in mine. “Casey, you gotta help Owen. He’s just a baby, so gotta watch ’im, okay?”

I solemnly gave a small nod and puffed out my chest. Owen couldn’t talk when he was little, so you had to be extra special careful. Nico loved Owen extra special, so I had to make sure he was okay. Once we were all in a row, Nico marched us through the crowd until we got back to the Daddies.

“Nico, what’s wrong?” Levi, Nico’s Daddy, jumped to his feet when Nico stopped right in front of him.

“You gotta tell Travis to behave,” he answered with a look that made me scared of him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Travis look at the Daddies. He looked confused. And a lot worried.

“Has he done something to upset you?” Levi sounded like a lawyer on a big person’s show. “Can you explain to me what’s going on?”

“Travis gonna tell Casey’s little and he don’t wanna tell people, and you gotta tell him to stop.” Levi looked between all of us, but then returned to me.

“Casey, what makes you think Travis would do that?”

“’Cause Jakob told him and I didn’t tell.” When I said it, Jakob came and stood next to me. He still looked like he was gonna cry. It wasn’t his fault. It was Travis’s. I didn’t know how. But it was.

“I sorry, Papa. I gonna be in trouble.” Reed, Jakob’s Papa, opened his arms and Jakob stepped into them. I kinda sorta really wanted Travis to do the same, but he hadn’t moved. Not even an inch. Not one little bit.

“Nico, how about everyone sits down, and we figure it out, okay?” When Levi said that, all the boys moved to sit on their Daddies’ laps. Rory snuggled up with Gabe, Owen dropped my hands and curled onto Barrett’s lap, and Nico moved near Levi. That left me standing by myself.

Being the only one without a lap to climb onto made something small in me curl tight.

It was awful.

“Hey, if you want, you can sit by me,” Travis offered. “Maybe it’ll help me figure out what I did.” Since it was better than sitting by myself, I slid onto the seat next to him. It was chilly ’cause the air was blowing right on me, and I wanted to snuggle like the boys, but I wasn’t sure that I was allowed to, if Travis would want me to, or anything else, so I shoved my hands into my pockets and picked the cushion next to him.