Page 25 of Just A Little Joy
The offer loosened that tight knot, just a little, like he saw the part of me I tried to hide.
“What do you think I’m going to tell?” Travvy’s voice was low and soft. When he spoke, I forgot to be nervous. It washed over me and settled around me like the warm blanket I kept in my apartment, the one that always made me want to stay in bed all day. He’d talked to me like that when I was cooking in the kitchen the other day too.
“Tell people I’m little?”
“Honey, both your bosses are sitting right here. Because we like littles.”
“Barrett doesn’t matter.” I winced when I heard a soft ouch from the other side of the sofa. “Sorry. You matter.”
“Don’t worry about it. Do you mean I don’t matter because I have a boy?” I nodded eagerly. Barrett wouldn’t tell ’cause then he’d hafta tell on himself and then tell on Owen. Tonight wasn’t working the way I wanted it to work. It was supposed to be fun. Now it was weird and not so much fun at all.
“Oh, in that case, that’s easy enough to fix then. If what it takes to keep the secret is having a boy, then you can be my boy tonight, and then I’ll have to keep the secret because that’s what Daddies do,” Travvy said, then he sat back against the velvet sofa and let me have a think.
I liked that he didn’t push me or prod me, or ask me a bunch of silly questions. Squeezing my eyes tight helped me think better, so I did that, but I opened one a teeny-tiny bit to see if Travvy was still waiting for me to finish my think. He waited. Since he was being patient and nice, that meant he was a good Daddy and would keep my secrets too.
His patience felt steady in a way I didn’t know how to brace for.
“Okay.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Travvy smiled at me, and I grinned back. This was more fun.
“Casey?” I turned to see Jakob sitting in his Papa’s lap. Reed rubbed small circles on his back. “I sorry.”
“It’s okay. It was an acci…acc…it wasn’t on purpose.”
“We still gonna be friends?”
“Uh-huh.” Instead of answering, Jakob smiled like one of the angels my mom used to put on the dining room table that no one was allowed to touch, or she’d smack your hand. Hard.
“Now that that’s rested, what do all these boys want to do?”
The resounding chorus of glitter crafts filled the air, and Reed collapsed back onto the sofa with a groan that the astronauts could hear from space. Gabe laughed and Barrett threw a pillow at him.
Travvy turned to me, offered me his hand, and said, “I kinda like glitter.”
It was ridiculous how fast the word lit me up inside, like he knew exactly how to tug on my joy.
Oh, Daddy.
“Thank you for tonight.”
After our night of glitter, cocoa, and tabletop smores, Wylde Dandies’ open house for littles was winding down. Changing from my onesie back into my regular street clothes jolted me back in a big headspace, and I was, once again, forced to confront the awkwardness of the situation. Unfortunately, it was unavoidable, given that Travis was waiting for me outside the changing area.
The other boys went home with their Daddies, so they hadn’t bothered to change. I’d arrived on my own, so the plan was to walk home since my car was still in the shop. That was another headache that I wanted to put off for another day. When Travis heard my plan, he rolled his eyes, told me I was welcome to change if I wanted, but he’d give me a ride home.
Any leftover little part of me would be too much outside of these walls, so I scurried off to change, and he followed behind me. I could imagine him lounging against the wall, foot crossed at the ankle, while he casually scrolled through his phone. He liked to pretend he was reading the news, but I’d caught him afew times playing the bright-colored matching games that came with approximately nine thousand four hundred twenty-three levels and endless dopamine. He would look up when I came through the door, slide his phone into his pocket, take my bag, and lead me down the hallway.
He’d done the phone, bag, and guide move several times at the gym and work. How I hadn’t clocked him as a Daddy was beyond me. Everything about him screamed it, and somehow I’d been oblivious to it all. Had he been dropping hints the entire time? He was always concerned about what I was doing, including making sure I stayed hydrated when we were working together in the kitchen.
With my hands braced on the restroom sink, I studied myself in the mirror. I looked exactly the same as when I left the house earlier this evening. Same dark hair. Same dark eyes. Same tan, except it was winter, so kinda pale skin. Everything was the same, but it all felt different.
I felt different.
Different was scary, but it also felt a lot like hope trying to take root.
And given that he was my boss, I didn’t know how that was going to work out. Sure, Barrett was my boss too, but he owned a kink club and had a little of his own. The Stone and Vine might not explicitly say littles were welcome there, but they totally were in all the ways that counted. I knew there would be no issues from him. But Travis? He was nothing but a wild card.