Page 68 of Just A Little Joy

The cold water I splashed on my face was supposed to fix everything. That’s what movies promised. One dramatic splash, one deep inhale, and boom—clarity. Except all it did was leaveme dripping like a confused rat and no closer to understanding whether staying or running was the bigger mistake. Ten out of ten, betrayed by the movies. Tragic.

I still wanted him, wanted this, and the what-ifs still had me by the throat. But my only backup plan involved moving to the Yukon under a fake name and picking neither option. Since I couldn’t orchestrate that without more logistics than I had bandwidth for tonight, I was gonna cuddle up on the couch with the exact Daddy who’d short-circuited my brain and hope I made it through the night without confessing something ridiculous.

FIFTEEN

TRAVIS

Daddy

Did you remember to take a break today?

Casey

When don’t I?

Like almost every day. So that’s a no?

Maaaaaaaaybe

Bub, everyone needs a break.

Stop being logical.

I can’t help it. It’s what I do. It’s what I live for.

Yeah, yeah.

Drink some water and make sure you breathe for a sec.

I will.

Promise?

Promise.

Good boy.

“Dessert for anyone tonight?” Margaret, the usual night server, asked as she tapped her pad a little impatiently. College students had already flooded back into town for late-night hangouts, and she didn’t have the patience for us to sit around and waste her time. We all shook our heads, and she slapped the bill down without ceremony, reminding us to pay at the front when we were ready.

The Daddies had invited me into their circle without hesitation, and I appreciated it more than I wanted to admit. They’d asked if I wanted to join them for a dinner out while their boys worked on the planning committee for yet another Christmas party. Gabe had given me the overly long, complicated name, and I’d promptly forgotten it, but I did accept the invitation. The coffee cup I cradled in my hands had long since gone cold, but I sipped it anyway. Anything was better than nothing when it came to keeping my hands occupied.

“You’ve been awfully quiet tonight. Everything okay between you and Casey?” Reed asked. His perceptive eyes bored into mine, and I didn’t bother trying to lie. I’d hoped I could pass off my mood as tired, but apparently, my acting wasn’t up to par.

“Truth or lie?”

“We always want the truth,” Levi said gently.

“About a week ago, Casey got a text from a friend up in Alaska.” I stopped myself before I said more. I didn’t want to put the fear into the universe. Saying things aloud sometimes made them real, and I wasn’t manifesting that.

“Okay…?” Barrett asked, confusion written all over him. “Are you one of those assholes who gets upset if your boy has friends? Because if so, good fucking luck with that.”

“No, I’m not that particular asshole—though I’m sure I could be another version. The problem is that the friend offered him a job. Starting after Christmas. In Alaska.”

A chorus of “shit” and “that sucks” went around the table, but no one jumped in with solutions. Unfortunate. I thought Daddies were supposed to be fixers.

“Have you told him you want him to stay?” Gabe asked.

“Not in so many words. But I feel like he could be happy here. With me. With his friends.” I looked at Barrett. “You know that beer-garden idea we talked about behind the bar? Total coincidence straight out of a romance novel, but Casey has a secret dream of starting a food truck. Seems perfect, right?”