Page 69 of Just A Little Joy

“Wait— Casey wants to cook?” Barrett said. “You can never have too many good people in the kitchen.”

“Slow your roll, buddy,” I told him dryly. “Casey doesn’t want to be stuck in a kitchen where he can’t see anyone. He likes people. He wants to talk, visit, charm—do his Casey thing. That’s why he wants a truck.”

“His Casey thing is impressive,” Barrett said. “If he leaves, my customers are gonna riot. They’ll follow him through Canada because they seriously love that guy.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling.”

I meant it as a joke, but the truth of it sank low in my gut. I loved Casey. His heart, his humor, the quiet way he was protective of everyone, how he observed everything, even if he didn’t always say it unless you asked. I loved his jokes and how he liked cute shit even when it still secretly embarrassed him. I loved him when he was in a little state of mind, and I loved taking care of him. Hell, I’d be hard-pressed to think of anything I didn’t love about him. Even his stubbornness was cute.

Shit. I had it bad.

“Levi, I think this is your area,” Gabe said. “You know something about skittish boys.”

“I do,” Levi said. “And I’m well aware that what I’m about to say is cheesy as hell and sounds like a bad movie, but…you have to be willing to let him go.”

I stared at him, jaw slack. That was it? That was the grand advice? Let him go? We’d all seen the motivational posters. If you love something, blah blah blah. But how the hell was that supposed to help me?

“Dude, are you fucking serious?”

“Yep. Sure am.”

“That doesn’t feel helpful,” I retorted, making no attempt to hide my irritation.

“It is,” Levi said calmly, “because when you let him go, you also make sure he knows you’re his soft place to land. His safe place to come back to. And that if it were up to you, you’d have him stay. Maybe forever.”

“Definitely forever,” I muttered.

“Then you need to show him that,” Levi said. “Be that place. Make it clear. But he has to know it’s his decision. His choice. Always.”

“Well, this took a deep fucking turn,” I said, shaking my head.

“Welcome to being a real-life Daddy,” Gabe cackled.

“It kinda sucks.”

“Damn, that smells good.”

I’d spent the past two weeks showing Casey every damn thing I could about why I wanted him to stay without actually sayingthe words. I wasn’t foolish enough to think he hadn’t already started mentally packing after that text came in. His whole perspective shifted in a split second. We might’ve still been sitting in the cab of my SUV, his hand in mine, but he’d been a million miles away.

After dinner with the Daddies, I had a clear decision to make. I could let him float off without saying anything, or I could make it known that I wanted him to stay because I wanted to be his actual Daddy. I could wait forever if I had to, but I knew he wasn’t there yet. That was fine. I could wait for him to catch up.

Who was I kidding? I wanted him to stay. There wasn’t really a question. I needed him to stay because he was exactly what I needed to become the Daddy I wanted to be, and I sure as shit didn’t want to be a Daddy to anyone but him. But I’d waited this long. I could wait longer.

“It’s taco meat. How could it smell bad? Everything about it is delicious.” Casey glanced over his shoulder at me while he stirred spices into the meat sizzling in the pan.

When I’d invited him over, I hadn’t expected him to cook me dinner, but I didn’t mind accepting the offer when he made it. He put me to work chopping onions, lettuce, and tomatoes while he seasoned the beef and mixed masa to make tortillas by hand.

“Homemade tortillas at home are wild,” I said as I moved in to nuzzle his neck. His soft sigh told me to keep going.

“They aren’t that hard. But I don’t have a machine to flatten them, so if you don’t mind weird edges, they work.”

“Lucky for you, I happen to love weird edges.”

Casey laughed like I hoped he would and turned back to the stove.

I couldn’t get enough of touching him now that I knew he was halfway out the door. I wanted to tie a string around his wrist and keep him tethered to me, but that would send him runningfaster than anything. I had to give him a reason to stay, even when my nerves made me push too hard.

“You thought any more about that Alaska offer?” I asked.