Page 45 of Just A Little Joy

“Okay, lay it on me,” I said. “But if it involves checking in twenty-seven thousand times a day, we’re not gonna be able to do that.”

“I was only gonna ask for twenty-six thousand,” Daddy protested. “Is that too much?”

“Maybe just a little.”

“I’m gonna need you to be a little less clingy, bub. I already need my space.” I couldn’t help giggling at how ridiculous he was. “But seriously, I do like it when the person I’m with checks in sometimes. It makes my day better. But I also know you like your space, so I don’t want you to feel like I’m crowding you.”

“I don’t think the occasional check-in is gonna send me running for the hills.”

“That’s good to know, but if it ever does make you wanna run for the hills, if you could just give me a heads-up, that’d be great.”

“Deal. Anything else?”

“Yeah, just one thing. I know we have a safeword, but if something’s bothering you or I’m doing something that makes you feel some kind of way, I need you to tell me. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m gonna try really hard to be what you need.” The sincerity in his voice pulled at my heart.

I couldn’t remember a time when someone I dated, slept with, or played with cared this much about my feelings and needs. And I knew why. Every time, I shoved what I wanted aside to give them what I thought they wanted. Then, when it fell apart, I acted surprised even though I’d given everything except myself, which was the one thing they actually wanted. Rinse and repeat.

I didn’t want to do that again. If I had a chance, for as long as I was still here, to have the Daddy I wanted, then I wanted the full experience. No hidden agendas. No shrinking myself because I was scared of being too much or not enough. I wanted the real thing. The authentic thing.

“I really like it when you play with me. Can you keep doing that?”

“Yeah, happily.”

That settled, we returned to focus on the plates. I finished before Daddy, and my attention zeroed in on the kitchen again. They worked with such efficiency that I found myself trying to follow their patterns. Off to the back, a few of them were working hard rolling out the biscuits. It wasn’t a surprise that everything was made in-house. There was no way Barrett would use frozen anything in his restaurants. His brand was fresh and in-house.

My evening in the bar’s kitchen wasn’t quite as fresh, but I’d enjoyed it a lot. Since I’d been hired as a barback, I hadn’t had a chance to get back in there. My time was pretty short there anyway. It wasn’t my place to tell Daddy I thought his kitchen was lacking, and there was so much else he could do with the kitchen than what he was doing. But there totally was.

“Are you ready for part two?” Daddy asked as we stepped outside the restaurant.

“Yep. Where are we going now?”

“If it’s all right with you, I’m gonna keep it a surprise a little longer.”

Daddy offered his hand and led me back out of the alleyway. Instead of turning left toward the car, we turned right and headed deeper into the pedestrian zone. We followed the cobblestone sidewalks, looking in the decorated windows and the twinkle lights overhead. Every so often, there was a decorated fir tree set up in different motifs in the planters along the way. At first, I thought we were lost, but finally he pulled me to one side and stopped in front of two wooden double doors. If I didn’t know better, I would have sworn they were two stories high. They were probably closer to ten feet, which felt the same to me.

I glanced at the name on the sign, then up at Daddy, then back again. “This is your errand?”

“It is. How can you have a playdate if you don’t have any toys? That’s not going to work at all.”

I took a breath and steadied myself. As much as I appreciated him wanting to buy me a toy or two, I didn’t want him to feel taken advantage of. His net worth was a whole lot more than mine would ever be, and I never wanted there to be a question about why I was interested in him.

“I’m not sure I’m okay with you spending money. I have to tell you, there’s nothing I can afford in Mercer City.”

“I appreciate that you’re worried about my finances, but let me tell you now, we’re gonna be fine.”

“I know, but I don’t want you thinking I’m taking advantage of you.”

Daddy looked at me like I had lost my mind, but it mattered to me. Maybe money didn’t matter to him, but that was only because he had it. I wanted him to know where I was coming from. I wasn’t here for his wallet.

“Aren’t you the guy who was just trying to argue with me about who was paying for breakfast? You, right? The one who said that since I drove, you should buy breakfast?”

“That was me.”

“Yeah, no. That’s not gonna work. The thought that you have some ulterior motive hasn’t crossed my mind once, and I’m not about to entertain it now. So just know it’s not a problem, and we’re gonna leave it at that. Okay?”

The finality in his voice was clear. His expression was open, and the message was obvious. He thought I was out of my ever-loving mind for worrying about this.

“Now that that’s rested, are you ready to go to the toy store?”