Page 56 of Just A Little Joy

“What was Plan A?”

“You standing up.”

“You mad my legs aren’t working?” I interrogated him with suspicion.

“Your legs work fine. You’re just a little sleepy.”

“Why I sleepy?”

“Probably something to do with the bottles of wine you all polished off,” Daddy said dryly.

I knew I was drunk, but a deeper part of me knew the real reason I melted was because it was Daddy taking care of me.

“Nooooo, that’s not it.”

“If you say so, bub. C’mon, let’s go.” And then Daddy scooped me up like I was a princess. Being lifted like that made the world tilt in a warm and safe way that I hadn’t felt in years.

I tried to imagine myself in a pink princess dress, and it made me giggle. The silly thought of having one of my own fluttered up, soft and secret, and I hoped he couldn’t read it on my face. I wanted to tell him everything, but the words tangled in my throat, warm and clumsy. “I wish I had a pink princess dress. I’d look so cute.”

“You sure would, sweetheart.”

Since he agreed with me, I snuggled closer and let him move me. If my legs didn’t work later, I’d tell him he could move me again. He’d be my very own mover arounder.

Daddy said something to Barrett on the way out the door, but my ears weren’t working either, so I just wrapped my arms around his shoulders and snuggled my face into his neck. When I looked up, he’d juggled me into his car, and I was already buckled in.

Oh no. My whole body was breaking because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t open my eyes. I tried and tried, but when I went to open ’em with my fingers, my hand flopped down. My ears still were okay because I heard Daddy’s soft chuckle in the quiet of the car. The car traveled whisper-quiet through the streets. For once, it wasn’t raining, so not even the swish of the wipers filled the silence. Daddy’s hand resting on my knee anchored me in the moment and his seat.

“Bub, go back to sleep. We’re almost home, and you can sleep it off there.”

“Daddy, I’m breaking. My eyes don’t work…my hands…” My voice trailed off when my hands flopped uselessly in my lap. It was a sad, sad day. Night. Whatever.

“Yeah, they aren’t working so great tonight, but I bet they’ll come back even better tomorrow.” It almost sounded like he was laughing at me, but that wouldn’t be nice, and I had a nice Daddy, so I must’ve been wrong.

“I hope so,” I agreed with a solemn nod. When the car came to a stop, I glanced through the window. We weren’t in a parking lot, and there weren’t any buildings.

“Daddy, you got losted,” I said when I rolled my head against the seat, resting in his direction.

“Are you sure? I think I know where I am.”

“Nope, you’re losted.

“Why do you think so?”

“’Cause this not my house. I thought you liked me, Daddy.” Yes, I was pouting, but it didn’t matter.

“If I were lost, which I’m not, why would that mean I didn’t like you?”

“’Cause if you liked me, you’d know where I live, but you don’t know where I live, so that must mean you don’t like me, ’cause if you liked me, you’d know.” That little bit of talking was too much. It hurt my brain to think anymore tonight, but it was definitely the truth.

“Er, I’m not sure I follow that circle, but I like you very much, and I’m not lost at all. We’re at my house, and I know where I live, so it’s all good.”

“You did it. Good job.”

I tried to clap, but my hands missed each other entirely and fell back down. Daddy’s car was so much better to snuggle into than mine was. The warm leather seats warmed my back entirely.

“How about we get you inside and get you into bed? We gotta remember to get some Tylenol and water in you first though. Otherwise, your hangover is gonna be ugly.”

“You think I’m ugly, Daddy?”