Page 39 of Just A Little Joy
Travis turned his attention to the attendant, paid for our tickets, and tuned the radio to the station they’d told us to use. With all the lights and colors, it felt like we’d been transported to another world. Christmas music played while thousands of lights danced along the route—candy canes, snowmen, reindeer, even a few dancing marshmallows. Travis kept his speed slow, so I could take it all in. I had no idea how many lights they’d used, but it felt like driving straight into Santa’s workshop.
Between the music and Travis’s silent encouragement to enjoy myself, I found my mind wandering closer and closer tomy little headspace. Normally, I kept my big self and little self fully separated, but when Travis was around, it was much harder to do. And truthfully, I didn’t want to keep them apart when he was close. He made being little exactly where I wanted to be.
“Travvy, look at the lights!” I said and pointed to a rainbow explosion in the shape of a snowflake that was directly in front of us. I waved my hand excitedly in front of him, then bounced up and down in my seat. “They are the prettiest ever.”
“Hmmm, prettiest ever covers a lot of ground.” I narrowed my eyes at him while I tried to figure out if he was joking. “Are you sure?”
“I’m super, duper, extra sure with a double scoop of ice cream and sprinkles.”
Travis gave me a quick glance and a smile lit up his face. He turned away before I could give him one of my own.
“Can I ask you to do something for me? But I want to say up front that if you’re not comfortable with it, I totally understand. No hard feelings.”
“What is it?”
“I like when you call me Travvy, but I like it even more when you call me Daddy. Do you think we could try that tonight?”
The quiet sincerity in his voice took me by surprise. When we were at the club, I’d called him that, but that was as far as it went. Afterward, I went back to Travis—or Travvy if I was feeling closer to being little.
His quiet tone wrapped around me like a warm shirt I wanted to pull over my head and hide in, and the little part of me stirred again, reaching for him without my permission.
“That’s what you want?”
“Yeah. I really like it,” Travis—no, Daddy—said after clearing his throat.
“Then it’s set. Daddy it is.”
The smile that Daddy gave me rivaled the Christmas lights in the drive-through. Butterflies exploded through my chest, tumbling and spinning until my stomach was doing somersaults. A giggle slipped out before I could stop it. I clamped my hand over my mouth, but the laughter kept bubbling up until I couldn’t hold it back anymore. Soon, I was giggling in the seat next to him, and my laughter set Daddy off too. My giggles went away when more lights distracted me.
“Daddy, I might have spoken too soon because I think I was wrong about something,” I said, staring at the tunnel walls, the last part of the drive-through. There were maybe a million lights, give or take a few thousand, and each one twinkled and sparkled in the pitch-black night. “This might be better.”
“You might be onto something. It was gorgeous,” Daddy said as we pulled out the other side.
“I don’t think I’m ready to go home yet, Daddy.”
“That’s a good thing because we’ve got a little more to do.”
Daddy drove around to the back side of the exhibit. In front of us was a barn with open doors and the biggest wreath I’d ever seen, decked out with shiny red ornaments. Inside the barn, people milled about holding steaming cups of something warm.
“Ready to meet Santa?”
NINE
TRAVIS
“Santa is here?” Casey echoed from the passenger seat. His eyes lit up in excitement and he bounced up and down until I wasn’t sure if he was going to take off out the window.
“Yep, and some elves too. Should we park and go inside?”
Casey gave a small nod eagerly, and I hurried to find a parking space. After I turned off the ignition, he reached across the seat and took my hand. “If I forget to say it later, I had a really good time tonight.”
He squeezed my fingers before lacing them with his. I squeezed back. “If I forget to mention it later, thanks for coming with me tonight. I had a really good time.” We grinned at each other for a minute or two before the interior light shut off.
“I guess that’s my cue to get a move on. Hold on, and I’ll come get you.” I rushed out of my side and came around to his.
Casey waited like I asked. He hadn’t even taken off his seatbelt. He was a fully competent adult, but I still liked that he let me do things for him when he was in little space.
He slipped his hand into mine once we were out of the car, and we walked into the barn together. Just like in the drive-through, lights twinkled everywhere. A giant tree at least twenty feet high stood in the center. It was decorated with lights in red,green, blue, yellow, and a few purple ones. In front of the tree, Santa Claus and his elves listened to wishes and handed out small gifts while people waited in line. A few stations around the room offered hot cocoa or a place to create a photo frame.