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FORTY-NINE

FARRON

LONG AWAITED

Day 562

I’m checking and organizing inventory in the supply shed with Theo, the smell of wood and dust filling the air, when I’m startled by Todd. He rushes up to me, his face wet with tears, panting out the words, “Farron, come quick.”

My mind immediately darts to the worst possible scenario about Jay as I assume something happened to him. It’s the only thing I can think of at this moment to explain his hurry and his tears. I run after him, both of us following him to the front of the main house where a small group of people are gathered, sans the guys who must still be inside showering and changing after spending all morning putting the finishing touches on Daisy’s new home.

My eyes first land on Jay, who appears completely fine, though he stands like a silent sentinel, arms crossed and eyes narrowed on a beautiful blonde woman who looks close to me in age. Her hair is long, and in two Dutch braids on her head, her piercing blue eyes focused a little to her right. As I follow her line of vision, my breath catches at the sight that greets me.

Pa is standing there with his arms around a man with messy black hair and a bushy beard, and my brow furrows as my brain rushes to piece everything together. My eyes narrow as I try to get a clearer view of the man’s face, and when I do, I realize it’s Holden. I watch as both men hold on tight to each other, crying. I don’t know if the tears are out of happiness to see each other again or sadness at the loss of Ma, although I can assume it’s a combination of both.

I stand there frozen in time as the two men embrace each other, wondering if what I’m seeing is real or if this is the worst happy dream I’ve ever experienced. When they finally break apart, Holden wipes his face and his gaze jumps up to meet mine. He rushes to me and pulls me up into an embrace so tight I swear I feel my back crack, his tears soaking my hair. The whole time, I remain immobile, unable to move or say anything.

I stand frozen, unable to move or speak. After what feels like an eternity, my arms instinctively wrap around him, pulling him as tightly as I can. He’s here. He’s real. But after a few moments, my body stiffens. He’s here…He’s alive. He’s been alive this whole time?

Finally, he sets me back down on the ground, his eyes searching my face as he pulls away, likely noticing how rigid I’ve become.

Before he can say anything, the front door to the main house opens, and the guys walk out. Two sets of eyes immediately land on me, and I watch as Kenji’s eyes narrow, taking in my posture and Holden’s proximity to me. Though there’s no mistaking that Holden’s my twin when we’re next to each other, that doesn’t seem to matter to him.

“Princess, are you good?” he asks me. He and Adrian are slowly making their way down the steps, Magnum right on Kenji’s heels.

I don’t have a chance to say or do anything before a light and airy voice rings out through the air, coming from the beautiful woman I noticed earlier. “Adrian?” she says, her tone one of surprise.

I watch as Adrian’s head immediately whips over to the side at the sound, and Theo mirrors his movement, though Kenji’s eyes remain on me a few moments longer before following suit. “Amaia?” Adrian asks, his eyes immediately filling with tears. They rush towards each other and embrace, both of their faces now wet with tears as the siblings take each other in. My heart feels full for a moment, overflowing with joy for Adrian at finally being reunited with one of his sisters. Theo and Kenji embrace her, too, and smiles break out on all their faces as they hug.

Holden must decide he’s seen enough for now as he lets out a sigh and turns back toward me. “Ronnie…” he croaks out. The sound of his voice saying the nickname he’s called me my entire life breaks me out of my stupor, and before I know it, I’m pushing him, my fists pounding into his chest as tears stream down my face.

“Don’t ‘Ronnie’ me, you absolute fucking asshole!” I scream out, likely drawing the attention of everyone else again, though I can’t find it in me to care.

“How could you? Months, Holden. It’s been months since you left, since you lied to me and your best friends. Why would you lie? You promised you’d be back and you wouldn’t leave me, but you did. I thought you were dead, do you know that? I thought you were dead…”

My voice cracks on the last word, tears streaming down my face as my knees give out and I collapse into Holden’s arms.

“You son of a bitch,” I manage to choke out between sobs. “You left us here, wondering, hurting. And now you waltz back like nothing happened? Do you even realize what you've put us through? What you've put me through?”

Holden's face twists with guilt and shame as I glare up at him, fists clenched in anger. His attempts to speak are met with my furious interruption.

“Don't you dare say sorry now. You don't get to just say sorry and make it all okay. You abandoned us, Holden. You abandoned me .”

His arms around me feel like chains, trapping me in a mix of rage and despair. The emotions flood out in waves, each accusation punctuated with a stabbing pain in my chest.

“I love you, damn it,” I whisper, my voice breaking again. “You promised you’d always be here for me, and then you just left. How could you?”

The weight of my anger and relief crushes me as he holds me up, his arms wrapped protectively around me. For a moment, all the pain and confusion of the past months washes over me. The emotional dam within me bursts, releasing months of pent-up fear, anger, and sorrow. I let myself be vulnerable in his embrace, sobbing uncontrollably.

He holds me tightly, his own tears mingling with mine as we sink to the ground together. Around us, the gathered crowd watches the two of us. I can hear the soft murmurs and the shuffling of feet, but they feel distant, like echoes from another world. Holden's grip on me tightens as he whispers apologies, his voice choked with regret.

“Ronnie, I'm so sorry,” he says, his words barely audible through his sobs. “I never meant to hurt you. I thought I was protecting you, all of you. But I see now how wrong I was. I didn’t think I’d be gone this long.”

His confession does little to soothe the ache in my heart, but his presence, his real, solid presence, is enough to anchor me in this moment. As the initial shock and anger begin to ebb, a different kind of exhaustion takes over, and I find myself leaning into him, seeking comfort in the familiarity of my twin.

We stay there like that for a while, the two of us, crying and holding each other. But eventually, my anger comes back, and I push out of his embrace and onto my feet. I hastily wipe the tears from my face and tuck my hair behind my ears, releasing a slow breath as I look up at the sky, collecting myself. When my gaze makes its way back to Holden, he’s on his feet, too, his eyes on me.

“I’m glad you’re home, Holden,” I tell him before taking a step back, and then another. “I’m so, so glad. But that doesn’t take away the months of fear and suffering I went through. I mourned you, you know that?” My eyes start to fill with tears again, and I shift my gaze away from my twin. “I just can’t do this right now,” I say as I start to turn and walk away from him.

“Ronnie—” he starts, though he’s immediately cut off by Jay grabbing his arm, telling him to drop it.

“Sunshine!” Adrian calls out as he runs after me, causing me to pause again. He pulls me into his arms and rubs my head in soothing motions, just the way he knows I like. “What do you need?” he murmurs, and it causes the tears to start falling down my face again in full force. He’s always so thoughtful, always putting me first, even in a moment like this where his sister is finally back.

I pull him down by his neck to give him a kiss before speaking. “I’ll be okay, Riri. I just need some space and time alone to process everything. Go spend some time with your sister, okay? You’ll have to introduce me later when I’m back and ready to ‘people’ again.”

His eyes dart between mine as though trying to gauge if I’m really okay to go off on my own. “You sure?” he asks me, his brows furrowed. I nod, and he lowers his face to give me a long, lingering kiss before pressing his lips gently to my forehead. “I love you,” he murmurs.

“I love you, too. Now, go,” I tell him, pushing him back towards his sister and the guys. He turns and starts walking back, and I start making my way to the barn, knowing just what I need right now to handle all the emotional whiplash of the last few minutes.