Page 27

TWENTY-SEVEN

FARRON

HOLLY like they’re simply orbiting her and are content to do so.

Daisy is not in any sort of position to explore something with them right now, even if she were interested in doing so. And if exploring things with her is what either of them wants, then they better let her go at her own fucking pace. Or both of them, I guess—who the hell am I to judge?

Peter waves my comment off with his hand at the same time that Jasper’s gruff voice answers, “It’s fine. Not like we need anything. Thanks for letting us be here.” I nod, turning away from them to give my attention back to Daisy, used to their short responses by this point.

“This one is from all of us. Open it,” I tell her, my excitement bleeding through into my tone.

She rolls her eyes at me, but doesn’t say anything in response, simply moving to do what I’ve asked of her. Her hands pull open the bag sitting in her lap, a little worn and tattered from the years, though it does its job. When she pulls the first item out, it’s all over, her eyes immediately beginning to well up. Still, she doesn’t speak, only moves frantically as she pulls out item after item, her hands trembling.

When she finally pulls the last item out, her legs and the area surrounding her covered in baby clothes, she finally looks up at me. “Where the hell did you get all of this?”

“You know, for some reason, baby clothes and supplies aren’t exactly hot commodities during a zombie apocalypse,” I tell her with a smirk on my face. “So you can only imagine how easy it was for the guys to grab a whole lot of them during the last supply run. There’s more where that came from, but it couldn’t all fit in the bag.”

I have a smile on my face even as my anxiety spikes with the memory of the last supply run just a few days ago. Kenji and Jay were adamant that we had to go and get some more stuff, refill our stores for the winter, especially after what happened with the shed. It had only been a day or so after I told him he could stop wearing the sling, and he was already pissing me off. My stomach felt like it was going to come up through my throat when they brought it up, the fear eating me alive. We were worried there were potentially outsiders watching us, messing with us, and he wanted to just leave ?

But eventually, they won me over to their side, using Daisy as their bargaining chip. She was going to be popping in the next few months, and wasn’t it time we started stocking up on baby supplies for her? It’s not like we had an abundance of baby supplies at Rolling Hills, and they promised they would stick together. I’m pretty sure they raided the whole baby section in that store, bringing back absolutely everything they could find in two trips on the same day. Daisy’s covered with formula, diapers, wipes, and other goodies for the first few weeks at least. Eventually, when I feel a little more settled and less paranoid, I’ll make sure we get some more supply runs going for her.

Daisy startles me out of my thoughts when she jumps on top of me, landing with a funny noise as she pulls me into the biggest hug. She’s gone as quickly as she appeared, making her way to Kenji behind me and then over to Jay to give each of them a hug and a thank you. I pretend I don’t notice Jasper and Peter narrowing their eyes at the scene, instead choosing to focus on Daisy and the joy she’s exuding right now.

“Aw, man,” Adrian’s voice cuts through the room, and I turn towards the entryway to the kitchen to find him standing there, his curls covered in snow. “I can’t believe I missed Daisy getting all of her gifts! Why didn’t you guys wait for me?”

“Riri,” I start, shaking my head at him. “You told us you had things to do this morning—‘a big surprise’ were your exact words, followed by you telling us not to worry about you and to get started without you.”

He pouts, giving me puppy dog eyes as he whines out, “Yeah, but I didn’t actually mean it. I figured you guys wouldn’t want to start without the life of the party.”

A snort draws Adrian’s eyes away from me and over to Todd, who’s sitting on the floor of the other couch, his shoulder right against Jay’s. “Oh, you got something to say, Toddy boy?”

“Everyone knows the life of the party is old man Henry over there,” he nods towards Pa, who’s sitting in the armchair, watching the scene unfold with a sad, soft smile on his face. A smile that quickly drops off at the comment.

“Watch who you’re calling old, son,” he admonishes, wagging a finger at him in a way that’s so reminiscent of Ma, it makes my chest ache for a moment. “Now let’s move on with these presents, you’re all talking too much.”

“Me next,” Jay says, getting up to grab a big box sitting to the side of the couch. He takes the lid off and pulls out a sleek, black hat that looks so much like my Stetson. He hands it over to me without a word, placing it in my hands and pressing a kiss to my temple. I turn it over, my breath catching. It’s way better than my Stetson.

On one side, at the top of the brim, is some sort of intricate floral pattern, something burned into the hat. Because the hat is black, the pattern doesn’t stick out obnoxiously—it’s something you can only see if you look closely. Around the crown of the hat is a red leather band, braided and crossing around itself with some wooden beads interwoven. To top it all off, there’s a gorgeous feather in the weaving of the braid. It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen or been gifted, and I look up at Jay with gratitude in my eyes.

“Thank you,” I whisper out. He only gives me a soft smile in return and a nod of his head.

“Did you make that?” Kenji asks him, and I tilt my head up to see him staring at my new hat, his face one of admiration. Jay mumbles out an affirmation, and I look back to find his eyes averted, the attention embarrassing him.

“I can’t believe I didn’t get a cool hat,” Adrian whines from his spot in the doorway, causing Jay to scoff. He walks back over to the box, and pulls out three more hats, handing one out to each of my guys. Adrian’s is a cream colored hat, with no frills or accessories other than a serpent drawn on the bottom of the brim. Theo’s is an olive green color, with a simple band around it and a feather. Kenji’s is a dark brown, with multiple bands around the crown and a multitude of feathers. Each hat somehow encapsulates each of my guys perfectly, and I notice the happy looks on their faces as they all try them on.

“Jay, these are incredible,” I tell him, my eyes moving back up to meet his. “How long have you been working on these?” He simply shrugs in return, and moves back to the box to pull out a bottle of whiskey that he gives to Pa.

“This was Gramps’ favorite, but you know that,” he tells him. “He would have wanted you to have it.” Pa gets up and pulls Jay in for a tight hug, whispering something in his ear that I can’t make out, but I can see how it makes Jay’s eyes turn a little red before he gives a nod and pulls away. He moves to sit back down on the floor next to Todd, who wraps an arm around him and pulls him close.

“I just know I look incredible in this hat,” Adrian says, doing some weird pose and drawing everyone’s attention back to him. “As much as I want to give out my present—which I spent hours making this morning, by the way—I have to be the last one to go. So, who’s next?”

Kenji lets out an exasperated sigh before moving away and coming back with his own gifts. He hands them out to everyone, leaving my gift for last. I unwrap it to find a combat knife, my eyes immediately drawn to the engraving on the handle that reads Princess . I bark out a laugh and look up at him, and he gives me a smirk.

“I picked up the combat knife on my last supply run,” he shrugs. “But I did the engraving myself after a bit of help from Jay,” he admits sheepishly. “Wanted to make sure you always have something on you to protect yourself, something small and easy to carry.”

I give him a smile and get up to press a soft kiss against his lips. “Thank you,” I tell him.

Todd goes next, giving everyone some random thing he found on his supply runs over the last few months. And even though they’re all a little absurd, he clearly put some thought into who should get what. Kenji gets a t-shirt that reads ‘I’m with Stupid,’ Theo gets some sort of old erotica book with Fabio on the cover, and Adrian gets a pack of condoms along with a saucy wink from Todd. How thoughtful.

He gives me a framed photo of himself, Jay, Holden, and I all together from before the apocalypse—it’s from the summer before my senior year of high school. We all look so young in it, splashing around in the lake in the summer heat. The photo captures me mid-air after Holden threw me into the water, while Jay and Todd are messing with each other a little further away. I don’t even remember this photo being taken, but the four of us look happy and carefree, and I feel my chest swell with gratitude for having this memento of my twin.

I give Todd a big hug, squeezing as hard as I can to show him just how much this means to me. When I look up at him, his eyes are welled up with tears just like mine are, Holden’s absence feeling so loud in the moment. But even with that, the full living room on this Christmas day reminds us that we aren’t alone, that we all have each other. And that’s everything.

The presents continue on, Theo going next. He hands me my gift first, and I completely miss what everyone else gets from him because I’m so wholly focused on what I have in front of me. It’s a large journal, and he’s turned it into something like a scrapbook. The insides are filled with dried wildflowers that he’s taped down and made little notes about next to them, reminding me of some of their uses—like a guidebook. It’s also filled with notes we’ve shared back and forth over the last few months, which he’s even annotated in the margins to tell me how he remembers feeling in those moments as he wrote, or read, whatever is there.

There are pages of book reviews he’s left for me as he’s worked his way through my little library, with absurd comments on some of the books I told him to read. I can’t help but laugh out loud as I read through some of them, completely lost in the book in front of me. But it’s when I get to the last page of the journal and I find an original poem that he’s clearly written for me that I lose myself and tears start rolling down my cheeks.

Notes passed like whispers on a breeze,

Each word a promise, each line a tease.

In the space between ink and paper, I find

A love so quiet, yet fierce and kind.

Like wildflowers growing in the cracks of stone,

You bloom with a strength I’ve never known.

Everything changes when I look in your eyes;

I find my peace, the place where my heart now lies.

The world stood still that fateful night,

When under the stars, I held you tight.

Beneath dark skies, time slowed its pace,

And in your arms, I found my place.

You became my star, my guiding light.

In your embrace, everything felt right.

And should the world crumble or burn,

One truth remains for you to learn:

With you—my wildflower, my star ? —

I’ll be beside you, wherever you are.

In the ashes of dawn, we embrace the unknown,

A love ever-growing, no longer alone.

My love for you, a steady flame,

Endless and constant, unbroken, untamed.

I’m only brought back into the living room when I feel a hand against my cheek, brushing the tears away. I look up to see Theo squatting right in front of me, watching me with a concerned look on his face. He pulls his hand back to ask me, “What’s wrong, Star?”

A laugh bubbles out of me as I shake my head at this ridiculous man. “Nothing’s wrong. I just can’t believe you did all of this for me.” He averts his eyes as if he’s embarrassed, but my hand reaches out to touch his cheek momentarily and draw his attention back. “This had to have taken you forever.”

“It was worth it. I want you to know what you mean to me,” he tells me, his lips quirked up. “I don’t ever want you to doubt this,” he says, pointing between us. I surge forward, pressing my lips to his so forcefully his glasses get askew. I kiss him until I’m breathless, and when I pull back his eyes are glazed over.

A throat clearing in the room draws my attention to Pa, who looks slightly uncomfortable at my display of affection, even though he has a smile on his face. It’s then that I realize that everyone’s actively trying not to look at us, though the quiet in the room makes it obvious they were just before. I grin and duck my head, mumbling out an apology as Theo moves to stand next to Kenji again.

“I do believe it’s finally my turn,” Adrian says, his hands moving along with his words as he draws the attention back to him. “Everyone just stay here for one minute, I will be right back.” I can hear his footsteps on the hardwood floor as he makes his way into the kitchen, along with a bit of clambering before he comes back out with two plates in his hand.

“Is that…”

“Miss Peaches’ peach pie?” he finishes for me, his lips turned up in a smile even while his eyes betray his nerves. “Yes. Sort of.” He hands one plate to me and another to Pa before stepping away and continuing. “She taught me her recipe before—” he stops and clears his throat, but we all know what he meant to say, before she died. “I don’t know that it’s going to be as good as hers, but I think it should be good enough for my first solo attempt.”

I share a look with Pa before grabbing the small fork and digging in, bringing a piece of the pie to my lips. The pie filling melts in my mouth, peaches and cinnamon enveloping my taste buds, and my eyes almost flutter closed as I swallow the bite. It’s exactly like Ma’s, and I can’t stop the sob that escapes my lips.

Alarm immediately fills Adrian’s expression, and he runs over towards me, pulling me into his arms. “I’m sorry, Sunshine. I didn’t mean to upset you, I swear. I just thought it would be a nice way to honor her with this being the first Christmas without her, to have her here with us in some way.” His words are bubbling out of him rapidly, his anxiety obvious from his tone.

Before I can even speak, Pa’s voice cuts through the room. “This is incredible, son,” he says. When I look up, I can see he’s crying too. “This is so thoughtful and it means so much.” He stands up and walks over to us, grabbing Adrian by the arm and pulling him up and into a big hug. “Thank you for doing this for us, for her,” Pa says, his voice thick with emotion.

When they pull away and Adrian looks down at me, I give him a watery smile and nod my head, wanting him to know I’m not upset with him. “This is perfect, Riri. Thank you so much.” He bends down to press a kiss to the top of my head and then steps away, letting the room know there’s enough pie for all of us, and he disappears on his way to grab more. We all end up sitting down on the couches, on the floor, enjoying Adrian’s incredible attempt at my favorite of Ma’s recipes.

As the day wears on, the guys end up gathered around the table in the living room playing Monopoly—which is how I learn just how big of a sore loser Adrian is, as if I didn’t already have my guesses before. As the guys play, Pa retires to his room for a nap while Daisy curls up next to me as she dozes off herself. The snow is piling outside, snowflakes landing against the window closest to me. Binx is resting near my head, her soft purrs making me feel even more relaxed. The fire is still roaring, setting everyone in the room aglow as the sun sets outside.

It’s here, watching everyone in the room enjoying themselves together on Christmas, that I realize just how lucky I am—how lucky we all are. I miss Holden. I miss Ma. I miss my parents. But I feel overtaken with gratitude at the picture before me, at the knowledge that I get to experience something like this, even after the world ended. It’s these thoughts, along with the warmth of the fire and the background noise of the guys playing, that my own eyes begin to fall shut, and I drift off.