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FORTY-TWO

FARRON

THE VOTE

Day 535

I squint as we step outside and begin our trek to the Alden barn, the bright daylight hurting my eyes. My head is aching, pounding, after a restless night. After the entire debacle at the potluck and Trevor’s attack on me, I spent a few hours with Pa as we both tried to work through the knowledge that someone we’ve known for years, someone who grew up alongside Holden and me, could betray and harm Rolling Hills this way.

Eventually, I returned to the cottage, depleted physically and emotionally. My guys were already waiting for me; Theo immediately pulling me into the shower and washing my curls for me, using his hands to try and rub out the tension in my shoulders. When we finally all piled into my bed, all squished up against each other, I immediately fell asleep, exhausted from the night’s events.

But sleep couldn’t keep me for long. How could I possibly get a good night’s rest knowing what was coming today, the decision that was awaiting us? Initially, I felt that anxiety thrumming in my veins, and I told myself that whatever happened today would be the best thing for the community—that if Trevor was to be killed, it was his own doing, and I shouldn’t feel guilty.

That’s when the guilt truly reared up. The jumble of emotions in my mind wasn’t because I felt terrible for Trevor or because I didn’t want us to go through with the most likely decision. It was because I didn’t feel bad for him. I felt…Vindicated, almost? Relieved? Trevor has been a thorn in my side for a long time, but his recent actions were inexcusable. The loss of Mr. Abel, Ma, and Eric were all for nothing, all because of the ravings of a stupid man who wanted something that didn’t belong to him.

And that was the crux of it all, wasn’t it? Trevor wasn’t the first man to try and take something from me that wasn’t his to take. He wasn’t even the second or the third or the fourth man. Just another man in a long line of them, trying to claim something he had no right to. And I am so fucking sick and tired of dealing with men like this. They have no place here in Rolling Hills, and Trevor had proven he couldn’t be trusted.

As we near the barn, my mind runs in circles, that guilt rearing up again. Though this time, it takes off in new directions, worse than before. What kind of leader am I if I didn’t even realize what was happening right under my nose, if I couldn’t even see what kind of person Trevor is and the extent of his betrayal? What kind of friend am I when I know I’ll only be filled with relief if everyone in the community votes to kill Trevor, even when it’ll probably kill Todd in the process?

I’m jolted out of my toxic train of thought when I feel a hand grab hold of mine, a thumb gently rubbing circles into my skin. I turn my head to find Theo next to me, concern etching his features. I register Adrian and Kenji standing behind him, their expressions mirroring his. I shoot them a smile that I’m sure isn’t believable and likely looks more like a grimace, and the movement sends a sharp pain through my skull and causes my eyes to snap shut.

Fuck.

“You okay, Princess?” Kenji asks in a low voice, and I simply nod in response, my eyes still closed. I take a few deep breaths as my hands come up to massage my temples, and when I finally feel ready, I force my eyes open again.

“Headache,” I tell them. “I’ll be okay. I’m just not looking forward to this, honestly.”

Although Theo and Adrian’s expressions both grow more worried at my response, Kenji seems to relax, giving me a nod. He approaches me and wraps his hand around the back of my neck, bringing his forehead down to mine. “You’re going to get through this. The three of us will be by your side the whole time, and no matter what happens, you won’t be dealing with it on your own.”

I shoot him a grateful look and huff a breath, hesitating before speaking. “I’m not…I’m not nervous about the possibility of us having to kill Trevor. I’m struggling with the fact that I’m not feeling guilty over it when I know I probably should.”

Kenji pulls back and shakes his head, his fingers tightening slightly. “There is no ‘should’ here, Princess. You’re allowed to feel however you do about this whole thing, okay?”

I nod, trying to get myself to believe his words. I bring one of my hands up to squeeze his. “Let’s do this.”

We enter the barn to find almost everyone gathered already, hushed whispers echoing in the barn as everyone talks amongst themselves. As I walk toward the back of the barn to face everyone, I make eye contact with a few people, and almost everyone sends me looks of encouragement. Each person looks as exhausted as I feel, and I know that no matter what happens in today’s town hall, everything in Rolling Hills will be different after today.

I make my way to the front and sit down on a hay bale, facing the front but not allowing my eyes to focus on anyone in particular. Not right now, not when I feel this overwhelmed. I can feel the guys gathering around me, but I don’t turn to them and simply continue to stare at the dust in the air as the sun's rays hit them. I don’t know how much time passes—it could be one minute, or it could be thirty—but eventually, I register a shift in the energy, and my eyes refocus on the aisle in front of me.

My breath catches as I take in Jay and Todd bringing Trevor in. He’s still tied up, and he looks like shit. His skin looks sunken and green, covered in a layer of sweat that’s caused his red hair to stick down against his forehead and cheeks. But it’s the men bringing him in that cause my heart to hurt.

Jay’s skin looks gray, and I can see the exhaustion lining his eyes, which remain hard. Todd’s skin is bright red like he can’t seem to regulate his heart rate or settle down even for a second. Purple bruises line his eyes, making him look like it’s been days or weeks since he last slept instead of just a single night. They eventually make their way in front of me, and before anyone can say or do anything, Trevor’s face turns into an ugly sneer as he spits at my feet.

Pathetic.

I can hear movement behind me, and I know my guys are holding each other back from moving forward and showing Trevor just what they think of him. I choose to ignore him, standing up from the hay bale and moving towards the center of the makeshift barn stage. I face all the members of Rolling Hills, making eye contact with as many of them as I can handle before I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what’s to come.

“Morning, everyone,” I tell them, willing my voice to sound steady even as my heart threatens to beat right out of my chest. “Thanks for showing up today. I know last night was difficult for all of us. Unfortunately, we also have a bit of a difficult morning ahead of us, too. I think you all heard Trevor’s confessions last night about being the one to let all the zombies in through the fence line and being the one to break into the shed. It’s because of his actions that we’ve lost valued, loved members of Rolling Hills. Our friends, our family.”

“Don’t forget that the piece of shit attacked you last night!” Daisy’s voice rings out in the barn, and when my gaze lands on her, I’m surprised to see her standing up, chest heaving and face flushed with anger. Anger for me. I think I expected her to be sad, struggling with the truth of what caused her to lose her husband months ago—but instead, there’s only absolute rage in my honor. Her gaze softens ever so slightly when our eyes meet, and she dips her chin at me.

I clear my throat and nod, turning my focus away from her. “Right. That too. We’ve never had something like this happen before. I’m not sure any of us could have imagined this sort of betrayal. But we have to decide how to move forward together as a community and as a family.”

A scoff sounds behind me. I turn and catch Trevor shaking his head, a sneer on his face “Something to say, Trevor?”

“You’re doing this whole big production for no reason,” he addresses the whole barn. “We all know that you’re not actually going to banish me and send me away. But if you all want an apology, then fine. I’m sorry. I didn’t know that anyone was going to die, and it’s not like I planned it,” he tries to shrug his shoulders, but the rope tied around him makes it awkward. Kenji, who seems tired of Trevor’s voice, must have come prepared, because he pulls a roll of tape out of his pocket and tapes his mouth shut.

“What are we supposed to do?” Janie’s voice sounds from the crowd, causing me to turn again. “It’s not like we can trust him to live among us ever again. Farron, he is the reason your grandmother is gone. He’s the reason Mr. Abel’s gone and Daisy lost her husband. And he doesn’t even care—all he cares about and wants is you, Farron. We can’t afford to lose more people.”

“We cannot send him away,” Peter speaks next. “We’re lucky to have our lives this normal given the circumstances, and that all depends on Rolling Hills staying under the radar. And with the others out there, who knows who he will run into. I don’t trust that he wouldn’t bring trouble to our doorstep if given the chance.”

“Even so, Trevor has proven time and time again that he’s not great at protecting himself, let alone anyone else,” Todd speaks up from behind me. I turn to look at him. His posture is rigid, fists clenched at his sides. His jaw is tight like the words physically pain him to say.

“If we send him out there, he’s more likely to get bitten and turned before he even has a chance to do anything. And after everything… I’m not sure that’s the right thing to do to him. To push him toward a future like that.” His voice trails off as he looks down, taking a deep breath before reaching for something behind him.

“Plus… I found this.” Todd steps forward and drops a backpack in front of me. Confusion flickers across my face, but he unceremoniously dumps the contents onto the ground before I can ask. Batteries. Medical supplies. Canned food. Clothes. Miscellaneous essentials. A collective gasp ripples through the barn as realization crashes over us. These are our supplies, the ones stolen from the shed.

A roar erupts around me, voices rising in anger and disbelief, but I barely hear them over the ringing in my ears. A rush of relief floods my body, overwhelming and dizzying. A small part of me had feared the worst, that it was them. That they had found us. That they were hunting me down after all this time.

But it wasn’t them.

It was Trevor. All along.

Pa steps up towards the front, waving his hands in front of him to calm everyone. “Okay, settle down, settle down.”

Todd looks up at me as I come back to the present. “I think you know what this means,” he says while tears fill his eyes.

My hands clam up, and my mouth drops open. Is Todd suggesting we kill his younger brother? I’m not sure what’s going on inside his head, but after the last twenty-four hours, I know it’s not good. Worry fills me at what one of my oldest friends must be going through. I’m not sure if he’ll ever really be himself again after today, no matter what happens.

More people speak up, everyone sharing their opinions on what they think we should be doing with Trevor. And although some seem more pained while others seem more angry, a few similarities are glaringly obvious—nobody thinks Trevor should go unpunished, and nobody thinks they can trust him moving forward.

I expel a shaky breath as goosebumps break out across my skin. My skin is ice cold even though the temperature in the barn is scorching and stuffy, making it hard to breathe. My heart rate increases as I try to prepare myself to speak again, to just get this over with. A hand lands on my lower back, the heat against my skin bringing me back to the moment. Adrian’s next to me, and he lowers his head, his lips brushing against my ear. “You don’t have to do this, Sunshine. Just say the word, and we’ll step up.”

I inhale deeply and shake my head, grateful for his offer but unwilling to accept it. I have to do this. I open my mouth and speak as loudly as I can, projecting my voice throughout the entire barn. “Thank you everyone for speaking up. I think at this point, it probably makes sense to just put it down to a vote. From hearing from you all, it sounds like there are three options: we let Trevor go and come up with a plan to keep him here, we send him away from Rolling Hills, or we…” my voice trails off, uncertain of how to even phrase what the last option is.

“Or we execute him,” Kenji finishes my sentence behind me.

“Right,” I say, grateful Kenji took over for me. “I’m going to pass around some pieces of paper. Please write down the option you would like to vote for.” Theo helps me pass everything around, and I make my way back up to the hay bale at the front. I place my arms over my knees and rest my head against them, trying to regulate my breathing and relax a little bit.

I think I know what I want the outcome of this vote to be, and I don’t know how to process that.

I expect the voting to take much longer than it does because before I know it, Theo is back in front of me with a box filled with papers. “All done?” I ask him. He nods in response, pushing the box into my hands. “Make sure you guys put your votes in,” I tell the guys before turning toward where Jay and Todd are still holding Trevor. “You guys, too.”

“But—” Todd begins, but I cut him off immediately.

“No, Todd. You know the drill—everyone has to vote.” His face is resigned, but he nods. I fill out my own piece of paper and throw it into the box before grabbing the guys’ votes. I sit back down on my bale and start pulling out the papers to separate them into three piles before counting each one. As I get going, I realize that there aren’t going to be three piles after all. Only two. By the time every single vote is separated out, it becomes clear that no counting will be necessary.

Because while the pile on the right is overflowing with votes, the one on the left holds two singular pieces of paper.

I look up at everyone as a single word leaves my lips.

“Death.”