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THIRTY

THEO

NEW YEAR’S EVE

Day 502

The thrum of the music pulses through the speaker, sinking into my skin like an electric heartbeat. I can’t hear it, but I don’t need to. I feel it. When I stand right next to the speaker, every vibration goes right through my skin and settles in my bones. I was worried when we set everything up and I could feel the vibrations that it was too loud, but Kenji reassured me that outside of the barn walls, you could barely hear anything.

The night’s been a blur of dancing, and I’ve been passed around like I’m some kind of holiday roast from one partner to the next. DJ Daisy’s been working the crowd, her growing belly bouncing along with the beat as she mixes tracks from an old iPod and a pile of scratched CDs. Judging by the laughter and the packed dance floor, her set’s a hit.

Nancy grabs my hands, spinning me around until I’m dizzy, so I twirl her right back. Over her shoulder, I spot her teenage son, Dave, glaring daggers at me. Relax, buddy. It’s Adrian she wants, not me. I shoot him a wink, and his scowl crumbles into a grin as he tries to covertly flip me off. Smirking to myself, I make my way back to our table, where Kenji is sitting with Todd and Jay.

Sliding into the chair next to Kenji, I notice Jay trying to sign something to me. Both he and Todd have been putting in the effort to learn some sign language, although Todd seems to be picking it up a bit faster. Luckily, they’re both pretty good at remembering the easy stuff or figuring out how to motion with their hands in a way that feels natural to convey their words.

He nods his head toward the makeshift dance floor and spins his finger in a motion like a tornado, signaling spinning. I turn towards Kenji, knowing he’ll help interpret. “Is he asking me how my dance with Nancy was?”

Kenji confirms for me, and I shoot Jay a wry smile. “It was good until I realized Dave was giving me the stink eye for dancing with his mom.”

I watch Jay’s brow furrow as he tries to follow my hands and figure out what I’m saying. I turn to Kenji, and he translates for them, something he’s been holding off on doing immediately to give Jay a chance to figure it out on his own. I really am impressed with them both. Even though they both have a long way to go, they’re trying, and that’s all that really matters.

“I’m sorry, Theo, I’m trying. It's just like the motion in my head doesn't connect to my hands,” Jay says as Kenji starts to interpret the rest of the conversation.

“Don't apologize. I appreciate you even wanting to try.”

“Of course I do, you’re family,” he responds, his face serious.

“Well, don’t make him cry,” Kenji says to lighten the mood, but Jay’s words have already pierced my heart and warmed my chest.

The room hums with energy as midnight approaches. I can’t help but think about Adrian and Farron. Adrian had something special planned for her tonight, so I figured they wouldn’t make it back. Still, a small part of me had hoped.

I’ve never had a New Year’s kiss. Adrian’s teased me about it for years, always offering to “fix the streak” with a smirk and a wink. I’d laugh it off every time. It wasn’t about not having the chance—it was about waiting for the right person. Someone who felt... worth it.

And now, that someone is Farron.

I watch as the guys stand up and start talking and cheering something—I know the chanting is rippling through the room as everyone waits for midnight to strike. “One minute,” Kenji signs to me with a soft smile. I nod, even as my heart sinks. They’re not here. But just then, the door creaks open, and Adrian strides in, snow dusting his coat, laughter spilling from his lips. Farron follows close behind, her cheeks flushed pink from the cold. Her smile is soft, radiant, and it steals the breath right out of my lungs.

Adrian sweeps her onto the dance floor, spinning her with dramatic flair before dipping her low. I can see her burst into laughter, and even though I can’t hear it, I feel it echoing in my chest. Adrian cuts her laughter off when he leans down to kiss her. As she straightens, her arms still wrapped around Adrian’s neck, her gaze shifts. Over his shoulder, her eyes meet mine, and the commotion of the room fades into nothing. The smile that lights up her face is like a sunrise, unstoppable and breathtaking.

Beside me, Kenji stiffens, his conversation faltering. He follows Farron’s line of sight, and for a moment, our eyes meet. Unspoken understanding passes between us before we both look back at her.

How did the world exist before Farron? How did the sun rise and fall without her here next to me? Even the silences aren’t empty anymore; they’re filled with her presence. Her smile, the way her hands move like poetry when she signs, the warmth she leaves behind. I press a hand to my chest, trying to ease the ache. Love shouldn’t hurt, people say, but they don’t understand. It’s not painful—it’s everything I never thought I’d have. Everything I don’t feel worthy of.

And yet, there she is. Dancing. Laughing. Glowing.

I can’t help but think of how it all began, every twist of fate leading to this moment. A bear trap. A ranch. And then, her.

Farron.

The love of my life.

How does anyone earn this kind of happiness? How did I end up lucky enough to find mine—to find her?

Adrian twirls her one last time, and her eyes meet mine as she spins out of his grasp. That smile. That impossibly radiant smile. It’s everything.

She’s everything.

Farron squints at me, her brows knitting slightly, likely wondering about my faraway expression. I force myself to smile, hoping it reassures her. The vibrations beneath my feet shift, growing stronger—the countdown is close. Beside me, Kenji nudges my arm, drawing my focus back. When I glance up, Adrian and Farron are weaving through the crowd, her hand in his, their faces flushed from the cold and the dancing. Farron pauses right before me, her cheeks still rosy, her eyes catching the dim light like it was made for her.

“Can I kiss you at midnight?” she signs, her hands steady, but there’s a flicker of hesitation in her eyes. It’s subtle, like she’s bracing herself for my answer. I just know she’s been practicing her movements before showing up here. The ache in my chest surges, not from uncertainty but from how deeply I feel for her. I nod, a smile tugging at my lips.

“Of course, Star.”

The room almost seems to tangibly swell with noise as the crowd begins chanting the countdown, and my gaze quickly darts to Kenji, who gives me a reassuring look. My world narrows, focusing only on Farron—the way her gaze stays locked on mine, the way her lips quirk into the faintest smile like this moment exists just for us.

“3, 2, 1… Happy New Year!” I catch the shape of her words as she joins the chant, her lips moving in time with the others. The room seems to explode around us as everyone celebrates, but I barely notice. All I see is her.

A meteor could crash through the ceiling, and it wouldn’t matter—I wouldn’t look away.

Farron steps closer, and I raise my hands to her face, cupping her cheeks gently as I pull her to me. When our lips meet, it’s everything I never knew I needed. Her hands press against my chest, grounding me as I deepen the kiss. It feels like pouring every unspoken word, every ounce of my heart, into her. When we finally part, I move back just enough to bring my hands up and tell her, “I love you.”

Her breath catches for a moment, and then she leans in, her lips brushing mine again, soft and lingering. When she pulls back I know her hands move, but my eyes stay focused on her lips as she tells me, “I love you, too.”

Her hand finds mine, giving it a gentle squeeze before Adrian sweeps in with his usual flair, spinning her out of my grasp and into his arms. He pulls her into a quick, heated kiss, the kind that only Adrian could make feel like a grand finale. Farron grins against his lips, her eyes sparkling as she turns toward Kenji.

With a soft smile, she tucks a stray curl behind her ear and steps up to him. Kenji’s eyes soften as she leans in, brushing her lips against his. He responds by wrapping his arms around her waist, lifting her off the ground like she weighs nothing. For a moment, they’re completely wrapped up in each other, her arms looped around his neck.

When he sets her down gently, she turns back to me, her smile impossibly warm. And in that moment, I know—our world didn’t just exist before Farron. It waited for her.

Her feet barely touch the ground before Adrian snags her hand again, tugging her back to the dance floor with a flourish. She protests with a laugh, her eyes darting back to Kenji and me, motioning for us to join. We exchange a look and shake our heads.

“In a minute,” I sign, offering her a small smile. She narrows her eyes at me, playful but skeptical, before Adrian spins her away again, her mouth open in another laugh.

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Nancy weaving through the crowd, her determined expression impossible to miss. She looks like a woman on a mission, and that mission is Adrian. Elbowing Kenji, I nod toward her. “You better save the poor bastard,” I say, barely holding back a laugh. “I’ve dealt with enough Nancy for tonight.”

Kenji drops his head back with a groan, though his lips twitch like he’s fighting a smile. “Fine,” he signs, standing reluctantly. “But you owe me.”

I chuckle as he intercepts Nancy just before she reaches Adrian and Farron. In a move way too smooth, Kenji catches her hand and pulls her into a spin. Her eyes widen, her attention instantly captured by the towering figure in front of her. Adrian is forgotten as Kenji twirls her again, his movements unexpectedly graceful for his size.

As I soak in the lively scene around me—the music, the infectious energy, the twinkling lights—I catch a movement out of the corner of my eye. Turning slightly, I spot a figure lingering in the shadows near the hallway entrance.

It’s Trevor.

He looks rough, like he hasn’t slept in days. His shirt is wrinkled, his fists clenched tight at his sides, and his face is flushed. Trevor’s breathing looks uneven, his chest heaving in erratic bursts. The intensity in his eyes sends a ripple of unease through me. My chest tightens as I follow his gaze to the dance floor, where Adrian and Farron are spinning, her smile bright and unrestrained.

I lean slightly toward Kenji, then remember he’s still keeping Nancy occupied. Jay and Todd are nowhere to be seen. For the first time tonight, I feel a sharp awareness of being alone.

When I glance back at Trevor, he’s still frozen in place, his focus unyielding. His jaw locks, and his expression hardens as he shakes his head almost imperceptibly. Then, with an abrupt movement, he turns and stalks down and out of the doorway, vanishing from sight. I exhale sharply, realizing I’ve been holding my breath. But the tension in my chest doesn’t ease. Something about the way Trevor reacted feels wrong, like a thread pulled too tightly, waiting to snap.

I scan the room again, trying to shake the feeling, reminding myself it’s a party, that people get caught up in emotions. But as I look back at Farron, her presence lighting up the room, I can’t help but feel like the night has shifted in some subtle but significant way.

For now, I stay where I am, scanning the room one more time, just in case. The unsettled feeling lingers, a quiet warning I can’t quite ignore.