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Chapter Three

B rianna

I can’t imagine how that possibly could have gone worse, or how I could hate myself more than I do right now. Feeling used by a male is the worst feeling in the world.

For about half a second I allow myself to blame Axxios for everything, but I’m too honest to maintain that charade for long. I’m a grown woman. I should be able to rebuff a male’s sexual advances without putting all the responsibility on him.

The last time we talked about this, I asked him directly for “more.” He told me he couldn’t. I didn’t think he knew what love was, he led me to believe it wasn’t in his culture or his biology. But now that I see him with his twin I know he’s capable of love—just not with me.

There are twenty-three other souls aboard this vessel. They’re all either in committed relationships or casual ones—there are no other single women. It’s not like he could go online and swipe right for someone better. I’m it. I’m the only female available for a male with the libido of a well-endowed stud horse. Of course he’s interested in me. Why wouldn’t he be? And why not tell me I’m beautiful? Words are free.

I’m not stupid. I understand the equation: horny male + the only available female within a million miles = pretty words. Maybe I am stupid because I seem to fall for it every time he piles on the compliments.

Well, chickenshit way to handle it or not, he won’t get near me again with his false praise. I used the right leverage—his brother.

I march to the sink and fill the basin with water; I need to take care of my “patient.”

“Computer, play Space Symphony .” It’s surprising that with the music of dozens of planets in the Intergalactic Database, I’ve found nothing that doesn’t hurt my ears. Grace, one of the women on board, composed this music since we took over the ship. Its melodic, lilting, ethereal quality usually has the ability to calm me, although I’m not sure it will work today.

I gently roll Braxx onto his back and pull his sheet down to his waist. I use the warm washcloth to clean his exposed silver skin. It’s hard to believe he and Axxios are twins, even after you get past the fact that they’re completely different colors.

Axx must outweigh his brother by fifty pounds. Braxx’s poor nutrition not only affected his muscle tone, but he was so malnourished, there are places on his head where patches of hair have fallen out.

After cleaning his chest, I move the sheet to drape it modestly over his privates in order to get to one leg, then reverse the process for the other.

I’m not a nurse, so med-watch duty with Braxx wasn’t something that came easily to me, but because I’m a massage therapist, I could do this in my sleep. I pull the sheet back up to his waist and manage to get him onto his front without rolling him off the narrow hospital bed.

His back is in terrible shape. Not only was he pierced numerous times—by swords or knives—but he’s lain in his own urine for so long a great deal of his skin degraded. Dr. Drayke performed surgery on the deep gash in his back and taught me how to care for the area on a daily basis. I remove the plas-film, the clear, flexible protective layer embedded with antibiotics that covers his back. Luckily he doesn’t smell like rotting flesh anymore.

I clean the area, then apply topical antibiotic and another layer of plas-film. I quickly clean the rest of him.

Now I can enjoy myself; I’m fully in my element. Back on Earth, I often used olive or coconut oil in my practice. I found some oil in the kitchen that's perfect for massage. This stuff provides just the right amount of lubrication, and it smells like fresh, clean linen.

I start on his shoulders and massage his arms and legs, avoiding any places with broken skin. While doing this, I talk to him. At first, it was awkward, but now it seems like second nature. I chatter on about my life, I ask questions expecting no answers, and I keep reminding the deepest part of his subconscious that his twin is waiting for him to wake up.

“You’re getting better every day, Braxxus,” I tell him cheerfully.

Despite all my efforts, it seems obvious to me that Braxxus is dying. He’s been comatose since he’s been on board, and he doesn’t seem to be improving. Even though he’s not aware of my presence on a conscious level, I believe in my heart I’m giving him comfort on a deeper level. I spend long minutes massaging every square inch of skin that isn’t damaged. Perhaps my touch will wake up his muscles, or at least keep them from atrophying.

“I know you’ve missed your brother. Axxios is on this vessel, waiting to talk to you.”

I roll him onto his back and massage his front, paying special attention to his face and scalp. When I’m done, I turn him onto his side.

“You’re clean and relaxed. Now would be a great time to open those eyes and wake up.”

I don’t know how long he can live in this state, halfway between life and death. His body’s so debilitated, and he’s not getting any better.

When Axxios first asked me to sit with his brother, I had no idea I’d be alone in medbay with him indefinitely. Axx was desperate that I watch his twin, insistent that I be the first person he sees if he wakes up. I’m not sure why, but it seemed urgent and important to him, so I agreed.

I can’t keep sleeping in a chair near his bedside. I don’t know why I didn’t deal with this days ago. After rolling in the bed from the other exam room, I slide it next to his. It smells of sex, of Axx mixed with me, so I tear off the sheets and put on clean ones.

This room is tiny. In order for me to have full access to him from one side, I have to butt the two beds together against the far wall. My mattress barely fits under the two metal medbot arms that attach to the wall. In the middle of the night, I’ll have to remember they’re right over my head or I’ll crack my skull open. It will be worth it though, having this bed will allow me to get a decent night’s sleep from now on.

I consider asking Zar, the captain, to organize a rotation of the others so they can relieve me, but discard that idea. As angry as I am at Axx, he seemed so worried about anyone other than me and Dr. Drayke caring for his precious gem; I’ll hang in with my duties.

I found some ancient books from Aeon II that are pretty interesting. The translation program on the pad works fairly well. After grabbing a nutrition bar for dinner, I read for a while, then fall asleep.

The next morning I slide off the foot of the bed, fill Braxx’s nutrition reservoir, and turn him over before Grace brings my breakfast. She’s a pretty blonde who’s always in a happy mood lately. She’s Tyree’s truemate now. They’re such a great couple, he treats her like she’s the most important thing in his world. He looks at her the way I wish Axxios would look at me. Oh well, that ship has sailed.

“Do you want me to watch him for a while Brie? You barely leave this room.”

“That would be great. Did you have breakfast already?” She nods. “Mind hanging with me while I eat? Then I’ll go to my cabin and be back in half an hour.”

“You’ve been cooped up in here taking care of Braxxus for days. I’ll fill you in on all the gossip while you eat, then wait for you to take a shower. No rush.”

“What have we got today?” I ask, eyeing the plate she brought.

She glances at the ceiling, trying to remember the fancy name that Maddie made up for today’s breakfast. “Mornu franque and blanchette creme...or is it mornu creme and blanchette franque? I can’t remember. It’s all still mystery food to me but I especially liked the lighter-colored stuff.”

The food always tastes good. Maddie was a sous chef at Spago before she was kidnapped from Earth. And even better luck than that? She loves cooking for us. So we usually get three great meals a day, all made out of ingredients we’ve never encountered before. Maddie gives everything exotic names to help us enjoy it.

While I eat, Grace fills me in on how happy she and Tyree are. She informs me she’s planning a talent show and wonders if I have any hidden skills.

“Not unless giving massages is considered a talent,” I inform her as I take my last bite of the golden-colored mound of food that tasted a bit like curry-flavored scrambled eggs. Not my favorite thing she’s prepared, but it was better than the bars we were fed when we were all captives in the belly of this ship.

When I return an hour later, I thank Grace, then turn Braxxus one more time.

I crawl back in bed and I'm half reading, half dozing when I sense something shift. I glance over and see Braxxus is awake—and staring at me. His eyes are the same gorgeous shade of turquoise as his brother’s—they just look startlingly different set against his silver skin as opposed to his brother’s gold.

“Angel,” he croaks through a dry throat.

“You’re not dead,” I explain, “and I’m no angel.” I scramble off the bed and get him some water. After raising the head of his bed, I hold the glass to his lips and help him drink. He doesn’t take his eyes off me, even as he gulps down every drop of the water.

“Angel.” He reaches out, curls a finger around a strand of my hair, and smiles. “The painting had you perfect. Down to the smallest detail.” He takes a deep, calm breath, a close-lipped smile still on his face, and falls asleep.