Page 71

Chapter Thirteen

D evolose

It’s been a hard two days since Thantose delivered the news about my ahma . I tried joining him on the bridge a few times, attempting to learn how to navigate. My concentration was so poor it was frustrating.

I’ve mostly run, eaten, and slept. I found an old series of books I used to love, and when I can pay attention, I read on the handheld Thantose provided. I only leave the room to get to the running machine. I don’t want to bump into Tawny. My cousin tells me she’s been very helpful in the cargo area—organizing before she begins cataloging. I imagine all the women resent having to make this stopover on Primus, they must be anxious to go back to Earth. Oh well, it sounds like we won’t be here long.

“Hey, Dev,” Thantose calls as he barges into our room. “We’ll be docking in about an hoara . I just wanted you to know.

I nod.

“Anything I can do?”

“Yeah. I think this is going to be hard on me. Seeing your ahma , having her cry when she sees me, that’s going to tear me up. Is there any way I can see my ahma first? Just her and me? I’ll need some time alone. Then I’ll have a reunion with everyone else.”

“Great idea, Dev. I’ve kept your presence a secret. I’ll introduce ahma to all the females. She’ll be so busy with introductions and showing them to their rooms, I’ll be able to sneak you in after that. I’ll swear the females to secrecy until later. Comm me when you’re ready, I’ll retrieve you and reveal the big surprise. ”

“Thanks. The females are going to stay at your house? Why not remain on the ship?”

“All the males will be off the ship, seeing family and friends. Getting dracked after six months in space.” He grins and winks. “None of them want to babysit the females on board the ship. I really don’t know what else to do with them. Ahma doesn’t mind.”

Yeah, but I do. His family home is big if it’s the same one they lived in when I left. But not big enough for me to avoid the females for a week. I’ll just spend time with my ahma and keep out of sight like I’ve been doing.

I ’m sitting in my ahma’s room, holding her frail hand. Thantose was true to his word. He snuck me in and left us alone. Ahma has aged so much. It’s hard to reconcile the vibrant, happy woman who was my mother with the one lying comatose on this bed.

Her skin is wrinkled and paper thin. The flesh is sunken under her cheekbones. But Gods, she’s still my ahma . My love comes pouring back. So many memories of her: teaching me how to read picture books before I ever went to school, coming to my games, soothing my broken heart when my first love fell for another male. She was so patient and kind. At least I had that. At least I had a loving ahma and sire as a child. That was a gift.

Thantose informed me that she hasn’t awakened since we charted a course for Primus. I have no expectations that she will, but I have to try.

“ Ahma . Ahma . It’s Dev. It’s your Devolose. I’ve come home. I’m healthy. I’m alive.” I realize that if she does wake up, my presence will be an enormous shock. How would it feel to see your son after almost nine decades? To have mourned him for so long and find him at your bedside? I can’t imagine. Maybe it’s best she stays in her blissful sleep, then slips peacefully to her death.

“ Ahma , I wanted to tell you what a good mother you were. How many times over the last difficult annums I refreshed myself with thoughts of you taking me to Minlan Beach as a youngling. I know you hated to sit in the sun, but you did it for me.

“And I doubt you enjoyed attending my games, horschrack especially, those meets were interminable. But I appreciate that you went.”

Her lids slowly open. Her eyes are rheumy, but she’s gazing directly at me. My stomach drops. I’ve dreamed of this for so many decades.

“Devolose?” She has a faint smile on her face. “Dev, is that you?”

“Yes, Ahma .” I lean over and make sure she can see me, then gently place my forehead to hers.

“Passing was so peaceful,” she informs me. “I thought it would be harder. I finally get to see my Dev. I’ve waited so long to be reunited. Where’s your sire?”

She thinks she died and is seeing me on the other side. Of course she would, that makes more sense than her son coming back from the dead. I decide not to correct her. She looks so calm and peaceful. I think it might break her heart to realize she’s still on Primus and she’s talking to her son whose life has been torture for so many decades.

“You’ll see papa shortly. Right now you get to spend quality time with me.” I smile; it’s genuine. What a gift to be given an hour or a few days with her before she passes.

“It was hard after you were stolen, Dev. Very hard for your sire and me. We loved you so much. You were our light. Your sire and I went through hard times. We funneled our energy into something meaningful. We petitioned the high tribunal to put more safeguards in place. To better protect the young of this planet. It’s called the Devolose law. I always thought you’d be proud.”

I’m stunned, surprised Thantose hadn’t told me. My parents were remarkable to channel their energy into being productive. They always did make me proud.

“I’m honored, Ahma .”

Her eyes flicker closed and she falls asleep. Our conversation drained her. What a blessing to be able to speak with her one last time. Even if she doesn’t wake again, this was a gift. It makes me happy to know they gave up on me at some point, quit waiting for their son to come home. I’m not their son—not the same boy who left. It’s good they’ll never know what I’ve become.

I sit, holding her hand for a long time. Finally, noises drift up to me from downstairs. I hear my aunt distinctly asking, “Where is my surprise, T.T.? How long are you doing to make me wait?” She’s such a happy female, always laughing and joking. It makes sense she raised such an easygoing son.

I take pity on him and use my comm to tell him I’m ready. He’s here in a modicum , glad, I’m sure, to get her off his back.

He slips in the door, looking concerned. “How’d it go, Dev? Must be hard to see her like this.”

“She woke for a minima or two. She told me about the Devolose law. She and papa were amazing people.”

“Yes. I’m glad you got to talk with her. She and your sire were my favorite relatives. Now you are.” He puts his arm around me and smiles. “And now you get to be the big surprise. You up for it?”

“I guess.”

“I encouraged the Earth females to go to their rooms for some rest. I thought you’d want to do this without an audience.”

I lean my forehead against his in a sign of affection, then, “You’re always thinking ahead.”

He calls to her from the top of the stairs, “Okay, I’ve got your present. It’s huge. Are you sitting down?”

“Yes.”

“Guess what it is.”

“Blue Mirasian silk?”

“No, guess again.”

“A lirikian pup? Registered?”

“No, guess again.”

“A handwritten copy of the Meris ?”

“That’s an odd guess. But no. I’ll give you a hint. It’s something you’ve fervently prayed for.”

We’re standing outside the kitchen door now. She’s very quiet.

“No guess, Ahma ?” he chides.

“There’s only one thing I’ve ever prayed for like that Thantose Aberre Marris, and you shouldn’t joke about it.”

“What’s that Ahma ?”

“You’re going to make me cry, T.T. I still miss him. I miss Devolose every day. Now you’ve gone and spoiled my surprise.”

He pulls me through the doorway. My aunt still looks as young as she did eighty-eight annums ago. I don’t think she sees me; her eyes are filled with tears.

I stride over and sink to my knees at her feet, placing my head on her lap.

“You don’t have to do that,” she scolds. “I’m not so angry at you that…” She must look up, see Thantose, and realize it’s not his head in her lap.

Her fingers begin to tremble, I hear a sharp intake of breath. With shaky hands she lifts my head. “Devi? Is that really you?” Her voice is an awed whisper. She peers down to get a better look.

“Yes.” I beam up at her and we gaze at each other for long moments. She was my favorite relative, much younger than my mother; she had been the perfect aunt. She had no children of her own before I was stolen. She used to take me everywhere, play games with me, and take me for walks. I adored her, and she adored me.

She touches my face like she’s committing it to memory. And she’s crying. Not little ladylike tears but full-on messy weeping. “Gods, Devi. We gave up on you. I’m so sorry. You’re alive!”

“Still think I ruined the surprise Ahma ?” I know what Thantose is doing, he’s trying to lighten things, pull us back to the present. Make this a celebration instead of a dirge.

“You’re a terrible son.” She swats at him playfully and pulls him toward her. She stands up and maneuvers us all into a three-way hug. “I love you both. Has he been good to you, Devi? I love him, but he can be such a callous ass sometimes.”

“Don’t worry, Valeria, he’s been kinder than I deserve. You raised a good male.”

She peppers me with kisses, her eyes beaming. “Eighty-eight annums of prayers paid off,” she laughs.

“Eighty-eight annums of prayers,” Thantose answers, “and your son fulfills the request.” He puts his hands up, arms bent at the elbows, and a wide smile on his face.

“Always impudent.” Then her face straightens into all seriousness. “Have you been upstairs? Did you see your ahma ?”

I tell her about our brief conversation; this elicits a smile and nod.

“I planned a feast for tonight, wanting to impress the Earth females and to welcome my T.T. home. Now we have something even better to celebrate. Let me show you to your room.”