Page 32

Chapter Ten

S hadow

I stand still for a moment, internally writing my script. I don’t want to hurt Grace any more than I already have. I’m not sure she even knows I’m here. She probably assumed I left with Petra like all the other pairs. She’s lovingly putting her String Thing in its case. It’s obvious music means a lot to her. She’s a sensitive female, attuned to subtleties and nuances, and I'm a blunt force instrument.

“Um, Grace.”

She startles. I give her a moment to adjust to my presence. She whirls to look at me, then takes one step back, and then another. I instantly smell her fear. I move backward until most of the expanse of the dining area is between us.

I put my palms up facing her, and if that’s not a clear enough message, I add, “I mean you no harm. Could we talk?”

She appears deep in thought, still not giving me eye contact. Gods, my callous behavior injured her. How can I repair this?

Her head is slightly cocked, still considering whether she wants to speak with me. Maybe if I tell her why I’m here that might calm her fears.

“I wanted to catch you alone to have a moment to apologize.”

She silently lifts her eyes to me. I think that’s her unspoken agreement for us to continue.

“I never let you in, Grace. I’m a... I’m a damaged male. I’m deeply flawed and was too proud and too afraid to get close to anyone. I’m trying to change that. But it’s obviously too late for it to have helped you.”

Her shoulders relax a bit. She’s fully sharing my gaze.

“It must have been hard on you. I must have been hard on you. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want to let anyone, even you, see my weaknesses. I have so many of them.” I pause, mentally cataloging my numerous deficiencies, then pull myself back to this conversation. “I was proud and inflexible and stubborn and quiet. I only now realize how terrifying that must have been for you. And for that, I am truly, truly sorry.”

Her eyes are luminous with unshed tears. She’s so delicate. I hope I haven’t damaged her forever.

I need to address all of it. “The mating. I could have made that easier on you. Part of me just wanted to hurry it up and get it over with for your sake. But the execution? Sadly lacking.” I pause for a long time. If she’s still looking at me she’ll see my eyes are misty, too.

“I know there’s not much I can do to fix this. I can’t repair it. I can’t undo it. I can only give you my heartfelt apology. I will owe you for the rest of my life. If there is ever anything I can do for you, please come to me. If it is in my power, I will come to your aid.”

She’s still silent—for a long moment. I don’t want to move a muscle for fear of spooking her. I wait, still as a statue.

“I forgive you, Shadow.”

“I didn’t ask for forgiveness, Grace. That would be... presumptuous of me. If you are offering me forgiveness, that is truly one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. Thanks from my heart. Sincere thanks.” I thump my fist to my chest and nod long and low to her, an expression of genuine gratitude and respect.

“You’re well and truly forgiven.”

I turn and practically run out of the room. It is so interesting that interactions with these humans are much more difficult than facing fearsome titans in the arena.

Petra

Whatever is going on with Shadow must be difficult for him. I’m so glad he’s doing it, though. I can only imagine apologizing to Grace will free some inner part of him.

I can’t wait for him to arrive. There are so many things I want to do to his body. I have an action plan in my mind. I know where I want to start, and of course, I know where I want it to end. He’s been gone a lot longer than I expected. If he’s much slower, I’m going to be tempted to walk back to the cafeteria and see if there’s a bloody crime scene.

Finally, Shadow slips in through the door I’d left partially ajar.

“How’d it go? You doing okay?”

“It was better than I expected. Kind of a miracle. She forgave me. I didn’t deserve that.” He shakes his head, “I certainly didn’t deserve that.”

“Then I took a walk around the ship, to... shake it off. I’m relieved... and tired. That emotional conversation with Grace took more out of me than a fight on the sands of the arena.”

“No problem big guy. Sounds like you need to recharge. No sex now, that’s what you’re saying, right?”

“Absolutely. A quick nap and I’ll make what happened in the shower pale in comparison.”

“Well, I did have tonight’s menu planned, but we can change it. We’ll start with an appetizer and see where things take us.” Big gladiator guy isn’t used to emotions.

I motion for him to lie down. He takes off everything but his loincloth, climbs into bed, and I turn out the lights. I pull off my leggings and crawl in behind him. I tell the computer to play some music but what passes for music here is some screechy moany shit that is about to make my ears bleed. So I tell the computer to shut up, and I just scratch Shadow’s back. A little rubbing with the pads of my fingers, a little scratching with my nails. He falls asleep almost instantly.

Now what? I don’t do this. Petra’s rule number one—do not get close to any man. Rule number two—do not get close to anyone I’m having sex with. Rule number three—never, under any circumstances, sleep in the same bed with a man.

I have one emotionally drained, massive, sexy gladiator passed out on my bed. This is bad. How do I get him out? I know today’s been hard on him. I know there’s been some kind of shift for him. But shit, there’s been no shift for me. I’m still me! I’m still the Petra who doesn’t trust, doesn’t get close.

I lie next to him. I try. I try for many long, shitty minutes. I can’t do it. I know when he wakes up we’ll have great sex, but I can’t tolerate one more second in bed with him.

I need to leave—to escape. I can’t even write him a note. I have no paper, no pen, and no common written language. I silently crawl out from under the covers, pull on my leggings and slink out of my own room, hitting the plate to close the door behind me.

I wander the ship aimlessly for a while, going nowhere in particular. I hear the sounds of sex behind many doors. It’s kind of surreal to walk the halls like this—alone in a ship full of connected people.

I finally meander my way to the bridge. It is, after all, the one place I know there will be a living being who is not part of a mating couple.

I stand halfway in the doorway, afraid to invade Tyree’s space. “Can I come in?”

“Sure.” It’s almost funny, this tiny little elf-looking female sitting in a captain’s chair built for a towering brawny male.

“You look pretty proficient for someone who’s in training. How long have you been learning how to pilot?” I’ve launched into some topic, any topic, to keep her from asking why I’m alone and not in my room. And I certainly don’t want any questions about Shadow.

“We’ve only had control of the ship for a couple weeks. But I’ve spent almost all my waking hoaras on the bridge for the past annum .”

“What was your job?”

“I’m a slave, like all the others. I guess I should say I was a slave. I've been a slave since I was seven. Wrapping my head around freedom is hard.

“I was the captain’s pet. I have... psychic abilities. Not a lot,” she hurries to add, “I had just enough to help him with his anxiety. He wanted me at his feet all day here in the bridge to help calm him. He had me lay at the foot of his bed at night to help him sleep.”

She must see the shock and complete disgust on my face. “You used to lay on the floor at the foot of his bed to help him sleep? That was your job?”

“Yes, ridiculous, huh?”

“I don’t know about ridiculous, how about sick as shit? He didn’t treat you like a person?”

“No. In his eyes, I was at best a pet, at worst a slave. He might have even thought he was treating me kindly. He was still on board this vessel until a few Earth hours ago.”

“What? Is he one of the guys I know?” My stomach lurches with the idea that I might have shared a meal with this asshole.

“Oh no. Most of the crew were killed in the overthrow. The captain and two of the cleaning team were left alive. We locked them in the same cells where all your friends were kept prior to the rebellion. We tossed them the same food bars they used to throw to us for meals.

“We didn’t want to kill them. It didn’t seem right. Dr. Drayke figured out how to drug them into a deep sleep for two days, maybe three. We waited until we were about to leave Numa. The males carried them off the ship and hid them in a cargo bay on the outskirts of the docking area. If we’re lucky they won’t be found for days and we’ll be in another star system by then.”

“You sound pretty concerned for their safety. Sounds far too good for them.”

“Honestly, Petra, we’re all just so happy to be free. Sweet Deliverance is the perfect name for this ship. We’re being delivered from so many annums of misery. Almost everyone has found someone to care for. Zar and Anya have found someone to love. We don’t want to hang onto anger and hate. We just want to live our lives without interference.”

“No one deserves happiness more than all of you.”

“And you, Petra? Don’t you deserve happiness?”

Do I? Do I even know what happiness is? My therapist and I could have a good long talk on this topic. Except I’ll never see her again. She says I have Post-traumatic Stress Disorder from being in the war as a kid. But I’ve been in America since grade school. That’s all behind me. I'm fully American and I never even think about being petrified and hungry and almost homeless as a preschooler. Well, almost never.

Do I deserve happiness? That’s an absolute yes! Do I know what that would look like? Not so much.

I’m still deep in thought when Tyree moans. It isn’t one of those little ‘I bumped my shin’ moans. It is an all out “I think I’m dying” cry. She doubles over in pain and wails even louder, then slips out of the chair and onto the floor. I have no idea what’s happening; this is above my pay grade.

She’s still conscious. “How do I comm the doctor, Tyree? Comm the doctor?” I say it louder to be heard over her moans.

“Button on chair arm,” she’s groaning and panting in pain. “Press and call doc.”

She moans again, but it’s softer now. Frankly, I don’t think that’s a good thing. I think she’s passed out.

“Dr. Drayke to the bridge. Dr. Drayke to the bridge immediately.”

“On my way,” his voice sounds clipped, serious.

I’m completely useless while I wait. I should have taken first aid training at some point in the past, but I know nothing, nada. All I can do is hold her little hand.

She’s unconscious, but her body is literally writhing on the floor. She’s flopping around and moaning. I’ve never witnessed a seizure before, but I don’t think this is one.

I may have watched one too many horror movies in my life, but what I’m seeing reminds me of a werewolf movie where the bones shift around under the skin so the creature can turn into an entirely different animal.

I’ve never been so happy to see someone as when Dr. Drayke comes running in. He immediately spots Tyree on the floor and kneels beside her with his med kit.

“I don’t know what’s causing this, but she should be in medbay,” he says. “Let’s call one of the males to carry her there. Call Dax, he’s huge.”

“He’s huge and in the middle of having sex. Tell me how to call Shadow. He’s alone.”

“Same as you called me. Keep calling his name until he walks through that door.”

I comm Shadow until I hear his serious, reassuring voice, “I’m on my way.”

“Come fast,” I respond. I’m sure he can hear the terror in my voice.

I can see the relief in his eyes when he arrives. He must have thought I was in trouble.

He doesn’t need a lot of explanation from the doc or me and moves immediately into action. He scoops Tyree up and runs with her to medbay.

After Shadow lays her on the gurney, the doc instructs him on how to strap her down, which is a great idea because the way she’s moving she'll flop right off the damn thing.

“I knew something was wrong. I examined her yesterday and couldn’t find anything. But it was obvious there was something terribly amiss.” Dr. Drayke’s brow is knotted with concern. “This is all my fault.”

“You did your best, doc,” I tell him. “Stay focused. What’s going on with her now?”

At that moment her right arm shoots straight up and grows before our very eyes. I mean, it was the arm that belonged on three-foot-tall Tyree, and now it is the arm that belongs on Dax. One by one, each of her limbs does the same thing. Before we even know what’s happening, her torso grows, then her head, which elicits the most intense screams. Her clothes are shredded, just like the incredible hulk. Little Tyree has grown to easily over six feet tall in the span of half an hour.

And little Tyree’s penis and testicles are hanging out for all to see.

Eyes wide in surprise, it appears none of the three of us have ever seen anything like this before.

She, I mean he, settles down now. The loud moans of pain have subsided into panting, as Tyree tosses and turns restlessly.

“What the fuck!” It’s a question, exclamation, and an expletive all in one. “I’m just an Earth girl. Have either of you guys ever seen anything like that?”

They both shake their heads no.

“I’ve never met anyone of her species before. She says she’s from Larian. I looked that up after her exam yesterday, wanting to see if there was something in her, drack I need to change the pronoun, his genetics that would account for some of the strange changes he was undergoing. There is absolutely nothing in the databanks that would explain this.”

“So she was female and changed into a male?” I'm trying to wrap my head around this.

“Well,” the doc looks sheepish, “I never gave her a proper internal exam. She always demurred. I didn’t push it, figuring she’d tell me if something was wrong. I don’t think she would have called herself female all this time if she was male, but now I wonder if he even had a particular gender until now.

“I’m going to give him a mild sedative. Let’s give him time to recover a bit, see what happens when he wakes up.”

I grab a blanket to cover Tyree’s massive body. Not only is he huge, looks like over six feet although it’s hard to tell, but he’s fully muscled. His rounded, almost cherubic face has morphed into hard masculine angles. I’m trying to unsee the prodigious length of his cock hanging between his legs. Glad I covered it up.

Even though he’s asleep, he’s restless, shifting a bit even in his restraints and groaning at intervals.

“Is there anything else we can do to help, doc?”

“Why don’t you two go back to sleep? I’ve already called Axxios to the bridge to take care of business there. Shadow, help me move another bed in here. I’ll catch some sleep and keep an eye on him.”