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Chapter Six

N ova

“Nova, wake up,” Drayke’s tone is soft, relaxed. “If you stay in bed longer you’ll disturb your sleep cycle.”

I don’t remember falling asleep. Lunch took more out of me than I realized. “How long was I out?”

“Two Earth hours. You must have been tired. How’s your arm?”

“It was throbbing earlier, but I’m fine now.”

“Do you need more painkiller? Want me to take a look at it?”

I rotate my arm at the shoulder, which puts no strain on the surgical site, but gives me an idea of how much pain I’m in. “I don’t think so, Drayke. Whatever was in that shot worked well. I feel fine.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Sounds like you overexerted yourself at lunch. I planned a surprise for you this evening. Think you’re up for it? I’ll carry you there.”

“You’ll carry me? I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think I’m strong enough to carry you? I know I’m not a gladiator, but I’m a healthy Dacian male.” His brow furrows.

Whoops, I think I wounded someone’s pride. “No, I didn’t mean that.” Which brings my thoughts, totally undirected, to wondering just what kind of muscles lurk under that blue jumpsuit. “I just meant I’m not an invalid.”

“Absolutely. I totally agree. You’re not an invalid, but you are recuperating. I’d be honored to carry you if you’d like to conserve your strength.”

“Always a gentleman, Drayke, but I’m sure I’ll be fine. A surprise, huh? What is it?”

“Does surprise mean something different on Earth than it does here? A surprise means you find out what it is when you see it,” he scolds, one eybrow cocked in gentle rebuke.

“Alright. I was just trying to trick you. Trying to determine your character.”

“Trick me all you want, Nova, I’m just what you see.”

I fall quiet. There was something about my conversation with Grace that makes me question this assertion.

“Drayke?” Now that I’ve got his attention, I’m not sure how to proceed. The expression on Grace’s face when I asked her about Drayke makes me think he’s not going to like my question. “Were you a gladiator?”

He raises his eyebrows in surprise, “What makes you ask that?”

“All the other males on board were gladiators, right? All the crew on the ship were killed or taken prisoner in the overthrow?”

He slowly bobs his head up and down as he puts two and two together. He knows what I’m asking.

“I signed up for one annum on board this ship to tend captain and crew. The contract promised they would pay off all my student loans in exchange for one year of work. It seemed like the answer to all my worries. I’d have free room and board and walk off the ship after my tour with no debt. It was only after all the paperwork was signed that I found out the crew were smugglers and slavers. Later, things got even worse when they kidnapped the Earth females to breed with the gladiators.

“The ship was owned by the MarZan cartel—bloodthirsty cutthroats. They made it clear there was no escape until the end of my contract. They threatened to kill me and my family if I failed to comply. Then they forced me to oversee daily checks of the females to make sure the enforced breeding occurred as ordered. I considered... ending my own life.” He pauses for a moment, he swallows repeatedly as he tries to regain his composure.

“But I didn’t want one of the barbarian guards to be put in charge of the exams. I tell myself I stayed alive to protect the females, but I wonder every single day if it was actually just my own cowardice. I’m not an honorable male.”

His face is a tight mask of pain, a muscle twitches in his eyelid. “I’d understand if you can’t bear to be in the same room as me, Nova. I’m the only doctor on board, but I can leave you alone unless I’m performing wound care.”

He’s in misery admitting this to me. He can’t look me in the eyes. I know deep shame when I see it. I think of all the things I’ve been forced to do over the last two years. I try to dredge up anger, outrage, or fear toward him, but I’m simply aware of deep compassion.

“We’ve all done things we regret under threat of pain or death. It seems to be the way of the galaxy. You do regret it, right?”

He nods, “Every day, Nova. I experience more than regret. It shames me and shames all who carry my name. I can never return to my family or even my planet. My actions reflect on my ancestors eight generations back and eight generations forward. My family would disown me if they knew.”

“Biology is powerful, Drayke. We’re all hardwired to stay alive above all else. That certainly explains why I hurt people in the arena. It was all to keep my own skin intact. I won’t judge you, Drayke, if you don’t condemn me for the people I’ve hurt in an effort to stay alive.”

“I don’t judge you, Nova,” his voice is warm, sincere. “I see you as a strong and virtuous female. Thank you.”

~.~

Several hours later I’m dressed in my leggings, an oversized T-shirt, and the galaxy’s ugliest neon purple flip-flops. Drayke removes my bandage and inspects the surgical site. He applies plas-film, a thick, clear, flexible plastic embedded with antibiotics, instead of the gauze. “That ointment does seem to be helping, things are looking good.”

I doubt he can already tell the healing process is speeding up, but it’s nice of him to try to lift my spirits.

“Can you put one layer of gauze on top of that?” I don’t want to have to see the wound through the clear protective wrap.

“Of course. You don’t want anyone to know exactly how bahd ahss you are. I’ll help you keep your secret.” He actually winks at me. Sweet!

We have a brief argument about whether I should walk or he should carry me. I win.

Although the ship isn’t huge, I’ve only been out of medbay once, so the layout of the vessel baffles me. We walk to the end of a deserted hallway. A small smile on his lips, he opens one side of the double doors with a flourish and we enter a bullet-shaped room that must be at the back of the ship.

All but one wall are floor-to-ceiling windows; I can even look out through the glass dome. There are thousands of stars, perhaps millions of them. I never studied space, but now I wish I had. My mind wants to quantify this, to name what I’m seeing, but I have no words. I decide this is a good thing; I abandon my rational brain and transfer fully into my emotional mind.

It is so beautiful, so limitless. I realize my jaw is tight, there’s a lump in my throat, and my eyes are misty. At first, I’m not certain why I’m so overcome with emotion, so I just sit with this feeling. This view is beautiful. Perhaps the most awe-inspiring thing I’ve ever seen. It’s boundless. The word infinity strikes me. My mind rebels, trying to comprehend the enormity of that word. I have trouble grasping that what I’m seeing goes on forever and never stops.

I’m a speck of dust in the endless expanse. I hold two opposite concepts in my head, which is so hard it literally hurts my brain. On one hand, I’m insignificant, infinitesimal compared to even the minuscule fragment of the universe I can see. On the other hand, I’m standing right here. I’m real. I have thoughts and emotions that are important. I have a life. I can find a purpose. I’m valuable. I deserve to live. I deserve happiness.

I have no map of the universe; I can’t even imagine it. What I do know is that I’m inconceivably far from Earth. That part of my life is gone. I will never go home again, that is clear. I’ll never see family or friends or sleep in my old bedroom or have the life I planned for. This makes me melancholy and lonely.

But I realize the bad days are over. They’re behind me, too. I will never be a slave again or sleep in a cell or have an owner. I’ll die first. Or kill. They will never take me alive.

So here I am, chapter one, page one of a new life. I realize tears are coursing down my cheeks. I couldn’t even identify if they are happy tears or sad ones. What they are is proof of my reality. I’m fully alive, perhaps for the first time. These tears are precious, they are confirmation of my humanity.

I want to start over. I want to really live. The first act I want to do in this new life is to experience this very instant. To appreciate the significance of my life in this vast expanse of space. For long moments I enjoy the freedom to have these thoughts, these emotions. And then I realize I’m standing next to a muscular male body. I was too wrapped up in what was going on in my own head to remember he’s here with me.

Anyone else would have probed me, wondering why I was so quiet, why I stood stock still, why I was crying. He just held this space with me, silent. As if he understood completely this wasn’t the occasion for words or talking or touching. He allowed me time for all these thoughts and emotions. For that, I’m so grateful.

“This is amazing, Drayke. Thanks for bringing me here,” my voice is a hushed whisper.

“Thank you, Nova. You allowed me to see this beauty through your eyes. That was a gift.”

I look up at him, he’s still stargazing with intense appreciation. Then he looks down at me and his expression changes. The look of raw desire blooms on his face for the swiftest moment, like unquenched thirst. His eyes pierce mine. He leans down almost imperceptibly toward me.

Then he schools his features, controlling the naked longing written so plainly there. He tightens his jaw, pulls back up to his full height, and views the stars. I’ll never forget that look, though. It was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.

“You promised food.” I break the mood, letting him off the hook.

Moving into action, he escorts me to the small square table with two chairs he set up. He pulls the chair out for me, like a southern gentleman. It strikes me a little odd that his culture would have the same etiquette as mine. He sits to my left, so he won’t bump my tender arm.

I notice for the first time there’s music playing. It’s ethereal, otherworldly, like the music of angels.

“That music’s beautiful. I haven’t heard any music for years, except for trumpets announcing my match.”

“Grace found an electronic instrument in this abandoned wing of the ship. She composed numerous pieces and put it on a continuous loop for our dinner.” He sets a plate of food in front of me, then sits down beside me. He catches and holds my gaze, making sure I comprehend how serious he is. “You’ll never hear those trumpets again, Nova. Never.”

He pierces me with his blue-eyed stare. “I’ll kill before I allow that. Or die fighting.” His words are stark, final.

He’s a doctor, a healer. I’m the fighter. But he’s determined. I like the feeling of someone caring, wanting to protect me. My muscles relax as I take a deep, peaceful breath. I let my guard down, and tune into the calm.

“That makes two of us, Drayke. I will never have an owner again.”

He reaches out to touch me, almost stroking my cheek with one knuckle, then pulls his hand back. I wish he hadn’t retreated. I yearn for his warm, gentle touch.

“There’s wine here, we found hundreds of bottles in the stores of contraband hidden in the cargo area. I didn’t open any, not knowing if you drink spirits. Do you want some?”

“No, thanks.” I haven’t had a drink in years. I don’t think I need anything to take the edge off. I’d like to be fully present here with Drayke in this wondrous solarium, viewing the stars.

All the food he brought is easily speared with a fork. I’m sure he asked Maddie to do this for me, so I wouldn’t have to struggle to eat with my left hand. Thoughtful.

I don’t taste a thing. I’m absorbed in Drayke. He’s sitting so close. My knee bumps his under the table. That single touch, cushioned by two layers of clothing, garners my complete attention and sensitizes me to his virile presence. Warmth arcs throughout my body from that brief brush.

He’d mentioned the other day how uncomfortable this suit was on him, yet he’s wearing it. Wearing it for me. The black jacket is form-fitting and hangs to mid-thigh. The matching black slacks hug his muscular thighs. He reminds me of an old west outlaw—sexy and a bit dangerous.

He usually wears his hair back in a haphazard ponytail, but today that straight, blue-black mane is brushing his shoulders. It accentuates the masculine planes of his face. I notice again how strikingly handsome he is.

For the first time, I pay full attention to his blue skin. It’s pale, like the sky on a cloudless day. His cobalt blue eyes seem all the more intense because they’re set in all that gorgeous blue skin. His lips have a pinkish tinge, a muted magenta, but there’s not a striking contrast like there is in humans. Viewed as a whole, he presents a tempting picture.

Sexual awareness lights up every muscle, cell, and fiber of my body. How can I be so attracted to someone I barely know? I shouldn’t be this drawn to him. I need to focus on myself and my recovery.

Without conscious decision, I reach out and place my left hand on his forearm. I’m captivated by our differences, my pinkish fingers laid across his sky-blue flesh. It’s compelling. It doesn’t seem scary to me, just alluring.

“We’re so different,” he admits, looking down, fascinated.

“Bad?” Please don’t say yes.

“Beautiful,” he husks. He drags his eyes to mine, his gaze piercing. Leaning down to kiss me, his mouth is claiming, fierce, compelling. His lips are hard against mine, almost desperate. Then he retreats, ratchets back, and presses more softly. I liked the first way better. It gave a quick zing between my thighs.

My hand snakes under that veil of thick, dark hair next to his neck, and I pull him toward me. I crush my lips to his. Heat and energy pool between my legs. I don’t want food. I want Drayke. He’s good and kind and sexy and I’ve been alone and scared for too long. I don’t want to present false bravado anymore. I want to be me. I want to be able to reveal my fear if that’s what I’m feeling, or my tears. I want to express every single one of my emotions.

Pulling back from the kiss, he stands for a moment. He turns his back on me and I can only imagine he’s rearranging himself inside those tight, sexy black slacks. He may have prematurely stopped the kiss, but it’s obvious I have as much effect on him as he does on me.

He squats beside me so he’s on my level, and penetrates me with those devastating blue eyes. He grasps my left hand and with utmost sincerity asks, “Miss Nova, on my planet when a male courts a female he shows his prowess as a mate by feeding her. While you were sleeping, I went to the kitchen and made dessert. I know I did not pick this fruit, or transport it from the fields where it grew, or haul it on board this vessel, but I washed and cut it with care, and brought it here. I would like to feed it to you with my own hand.”

Whoa! Courting? He’s courting me? By the look on his handsome face, this is the most serious thing he’s ever done. I can’t take this lightly. He’s crouching there, waiting for an answer, his face inches from mine.

“I don’t mean to be... ungrateful, Drayke, but what exactly does this mean?”

Sadness passes over his features like a cloud scudding through the sky, and then it’s gone. He’s so earnest, so sincere, it’s one of the things I like most about him. He doesn’t make light of things that are important to me.

“I’ve never had a female I’ve been intimate with. On my planet, that is not encouraged. When a male thinks he’s found his mate, he asks if he can court her. If she is... interested in the male, she agrees. If the two find themselves compatible they become bonded.”

“Bonded, like forever bonded? Like till death do you part?”

“No. No, Miss Nova. Death does not part a bonded pair.”

For a moment, I think my heart actually stops beating in my chest. First of all, I don’t know what, if anything I believe about what happens after death. But second, forever sounds scary as hell to me. My mind can’t even grasp forever. I remember hearing one of the women on The View say she never would have walked down the aisle if she hadn’t consoled herself with the fact she could get divorced if things didn’t work out. That sounded like a good strategy.

“I can’t fathom forever, Drayke. This is too much. I don’t want to agree to anything I can’t follow through with. This sounds serious to you, I honor that. I can’t promise forever. I can’t even think about forever!”

“Of course, Nova. You’ve just been released from captivity. You have your whole life ahead of you. Many decisions to make. I’m a dracking idiot for putting pressure on you.” He looks somber, pausing for a moment. “Let me take you back to medbay. No. Let me take you to the cabin the females prepared for you. I apologize. Deeply. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

He stands, ready to pull out my chair for me to leave.

“Sit down!” Whoops, that came out way too forcefully. “Sit down, please, Drayke.” He sinks into his chair, a bewildered look on his face, his head slightly cocked.

“What just happened here?” I ask.

“What just happened here is that I’m an idiot. I asked an injured female whose life has just been turned upside down if she wants to add additional confusion and allow bonding behaviors from a male she barely knows. I’m not an honorable male, Nova. I’m selfish and unthinking. You can do far better than me. Let me take you to your cabin and have Grace get you comfortable there.”

“Hold on there, Drayke. Do I have anything to say about this?”

He snaps his mouth closed and nods, stunned.

“What happens if you feed me and I don’t want to bond with you? What happens if we pursue things and at some point in the future I realize this relationship isn’t for me? I know nothing of your ways, spell it out for me.”

“I’m the male. My job is to pursue. You’re the female; all choices are in your hands. You decide if you want to begin things. You decide if you want to end things. All of my decisions are already over. I’ve brought you dessert. I’ve cut it. I’ve offered to feed it to you with my own hands. Every single determination is yours from here out.”

Really? Every decision is mine? I perk up. “Just so I have this straight, if I want to kiss you right now, that’s my choice?” He nods. “If I want to eat dessert out of your hand, that’s my choice?” He nods again. “If I want to walk away at some point in the future, I can do that, too?”

He makes a strangled sound as he nods. His muscles slacken in that handsome face. He is in abject misery. What did I say?

He rises from his chair, takes a step away, stands stock still, then sits back down. I’m trying to think of any time in my life I’ve seen a man this grief-stricken. Only once. A father on the TV news who’d just lost his son in a school shooting.

“Our cultures are so different, Drayke. Obviously, I’ve said something wrong—”

“No, no, you’ve said nothing wrong, you’ve done nothing wrong.” He pauses, looking out at the stars as he appears to search for words. “I’ve lied to you. Well, not lied exactly, but I haven’t told you the complete truth. I can’t live with myself a moment longer. I need to explain everything. When I’m done explaining I will leave immediately, but don’t worry, I’ll ask Captain Zar to have someone escort you back to your cabin.”

He stands and walks to the front window. All I can see is his silhouette against the backdrop of black space and millions of stars. His shoulders are slumped.

“Dacians bond, as I’ve said. They bond forever, longer than life. It isn’t just an emotional connection as humans have; it is physical. When a Dacian male bonds it is a one-time thing. After that, there are no other females for him. There is only forever with his mate. If the female he bonds with does not wish the bond, that is her choice. However, because this is a physical phenomenon, the male usually goes insane after several Earth months without... consummation.”

He returns to squat next to me, his face at my level, a tight mask of grief. “The insanity is usually unremitting. It is so horrible that our Lord God Anteros allows the male to kill himself in a sacred ceremony rather than live with the pain.”

He pauses none too soon, because my mind is struggling to understand what he’s implying. He’s talking about more than a Match.com experience gone off the rails. He’s saying he could die from this.

“Okay, Drayke, I think I understand this, at least a little. If you court me and I don’t bond with you it could be horrible for you.” I pause, on overwhelm. I close my eyes, there’s so much to take in.

“I can’t promise you forever. I’ve just been released from captivity, I need time to figure things out, including basics, like who I am and what I want. I have issues with many things after what I’ve been through. One of those is trust. I’m not in a position to be making decisions about the rest of my life—and beyond.

“I certainly don’t want you to go crazy, or commit suicide. I think you’re right about getting me my own room. I like you very much. I respect you and I’m attracted to you, but I can’t promise you the future. I’m so sorry.” My heart feels heavy in my chest. I shift in my chair, ready to leave.

“I promised you the truth.” His voice is hollow, far away. He thinks for a long moment, then rushes on, “I’ve already bonded with you, Nova.” He pauses again, perhaps waiting for me to say something, but I’m completely speechless. The edges of my vision seem to blur as all of my attention focuses on him and what he’s saying.

“It’s not your fault,” he continues, “You’re a good female, Nova. I know you’ll feel guilty about this, but you did absolutely nothing wrong.”

“So, the damage is done? We can’t fix this?” My thoughts are spinning. This is so serious. My heart clenches.

“It was clear I’ve bonded with you this morning. How this happened so quickly, I don’t understand. One thing is certain—my fate is sealed.”

“There’s nothing you can do? No medications? No treatment?” He just shakes his head. “Less proximity? Could you leave the ship? Send me away?” He slowly shakes his head no, shoulders sagging.

Hot tears flood my eyes. My throat constricts. Part of my mind is fuzzy and can’t hold a thought, while another part of my mind is fast-forwarding through the rest of my life, bound to a mate I don’t love. A mate I was forced to connect with in order to save his life.

I look at him through a haze of tears. I’ve known him less than a handful of days. Yes, he’s handsome and sexy. But forever? I just escaped a life of slavery. I refuse to re-enlist.

Then I look at him—really look. His handsome face is drawn and pinched in anguish. This is a death sentence for him. He says the damage is done.

I like him, he’s a quality male. God knows, I’m more sexually attracted to him than I’ve been to anyone in my life. What would be the harm in giving this a try? Really, what have either of us got to lose?

I’m a glass half-full kind of girl. I lived through unbearable conditions as a slave—the fighting, the fear. I think this through. So we can’t fix it. The least I can do is try. I mean, I already like the guy. Maybe we were meant to bond?

I pat his chair firmly. “Feed me.”

He doesn’t move, just gazes at me, unblinking.

“I’m a male, Nova. I know I’m not a huge gladiator, but I’m as masculine as any of them. I want no pity. I’m resigned to my fate. I won’t go crazy soon. I’ll make sure your arm is healed as fully as possible before—.”

“Don’t be an asshole!” Alright, I’m screaming. Haven’t done that in a while. “Did that translate properly Dr. Drayke? I’m not stupid and I don’t pity you. I like you. We’ve already begun the courtship to some extent, that is, if what happened in my bed last night wasn’t a dream. So get your handsome ass over here and feed me dessert with your own fucking hand!”

He turns to look at me and must see my anger, then for some reason he laughs. It isn’t sardonic or ridiculing, it comes deep from his belly, it’s... joyful.

“Did you just order me to feed you? That’s rich!”

His laughter kindles my own as he sits down next to me and reaches for the farthest dish on the table.

Our laughter fades quickly as he pats his lap. I may not be quick on the uptake, but it just became clear this feeding thing is going to be about a whole lot more than nourishment.

He helps me sit on his lap, my left hip against his belly, or maybe that’s his rock-hard cock. “Nova, I’m sorry, I’ve known all day. I didn’t want to scare y—”

I kiss him, hard. I don’t want to hear any more words. I have no idea what I want, except this kiss.

Something changed in the last few minutes. He’s obviously been holding back since he met me. Well, he isn’t repressing anything anymore. He slides his hand under my hair, cupping it behind my neck, and pulls me even closer. He takes control of the kiss, his tongue flicking mine, his teeth nibbling my lower lip. This isn’t a timid exploration—he ravages my mouth.

His hand roams up and down my back. It’s as if he’s discarded any boundaries he’d arbitrarily established for himself. His hand caresses the globes of my ass, “I’m on fire for you, Nova.” His voice is intimate, barely more than a whisper. “I want you. I want to touch you everywhere, I want to make you feel good, I want to learn every ince of you. Inside and out.”

His provocative words amp up my anticipation. My nipples are hard, needy points under my shirt.

As his tongue explores my ear, he releases a sigh of longing and lust. This gives me sensuous shivers. He nips the cartilage around my ear, he’s igniting desires in me I’ve never felt before.

“Too fast, Drayke. Too much. Slow down.” I’m panting.

He sucks in air. “You’re right. I promised to feed you with my own dracking hand.” He’s smiling. He can’t take his eyes off of me. His hard cock nudges me through his pants. Sexy.

“Lean on my shoulder, Nova. Close your eyes.”

I comply. This evening, these last few days, have put me on complete overload. It would be nice to just follow directions right now. No more decisions. The hard one—to pursue this attraction—has already been made. I’ll do as he says.

I snuggle against him, aware of the warmth of his chest through his suit jacket. Then I notice something disturbingly wrong as I tune into the rhythmic beat of his heart.

“Drayke?” I try not to let my rising panic seep into my voice. I wonder if the bonding sickness is already affecting him in a life-threatening way. “Drayke, what is happening to you? Your heart?”

“Oh, no. Is it happening already?” His tone sounds tight with worry. “So soon? So tragic.”

Then the expanse of his chest rumbles with laughter. “Did you think something was terribly wrong, Nova? You’re probably hearing my two hearts.”

“You have two hearts?” My own thundering heart returns to its normal rhythm just in time for my anger to peak. “You’re such a jerk!” I slap his chest, right over his cold, hard heart—well, one of them at least. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry.” He looks contrite. “I shouldn’t tease. Sit back, close your eyes. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

Something cool and hard presses against my lips. He glides it from right to left. It’s so soft it tickles, but not in a funny way. No, it tickles in that interesting way that zips from my lips to my clit. Okay, he has my full and complete attention.

“Stick out your tongue, just the tip.” Oh my, the forceful way he said that has heat pooling between my legs. He moves the food back and forth against the tip of my tongue. I can’t quite taste it.

“Keep your eyes closed,” he orders in that husky tone. “Keep your tongue right where it is.” Then he moves his mouth directly to the shell of my ear. “I can’t help but think of that pink little tongue on my cock, Nova,” he breathes. Oh my God, I’m going to soak my panties. What he just said is so hot.

“Good girl, keep that tongue out for me,” he croons. Okay, with that deep, sexy voice giving me compliments, I’ll follow all the orders you give.

He brings the fruit back, but it’s sticky now. I think he’s dipped it into something like honey. The sweet viscous liquid drips on my tongue; he slides it along my lips. I feel the stickiness; I taste the sweetness.

“Sweet, like you, Nova.” He scrapes my cheek with his teeth. He’s setting me on fire. This is incendiary! My nipples are desperate for touch. I hear my own breath quicken with a little gasp. Then he leans over and licks the honey off my lips. Slow, deliberate movements that command my complete attention. Dear Lord, I could never have imagined anything this sensual in my wildest dreams. My clit is pulsing. I think I can smell my own arousal.

“One day, if you let me,” his voice is soft and deep, like he’s sharing a secret, “I want to drip dulce between your legs. I want to lick it off. Today I’ll settle for licking the sweetness off these lips.” He drizzles more dulce on my upturned lips, then uses just the tip of his tongue to clean them off. “I’ll lap up every drop,” his tone is low and breathy. “I’ll lap up every drop and clean you very well down below.”

Just kill me now. My inner walls clench in pulsing rhythm. This level of excitement is almost more than I can bear, but I absolutely positively do not want it to stop.

“Take a bite,” he orders.

I do as I’m told. It tastes like apples and honey.

“You’re a good girl, Nova,” he murmurs, encouraging my behavior. “Keep your eyes closed and be a nice female and lick this dulce off of me.” He leans down, his lips covered in dulce. I am a good girl, I lick his lips clean. “Yes, very good,” he praises

“Tell me what you want, Nova. Tell me what you want right now. I will do my best to provide it for you.”

He’s not asking if I want a house in the Hamptons or a color TV. He’s asking what I want him to do to my body. He wants to “provide” for me. My body is screaming ideas at me. My nipples are taut, begging to be touched, rolled, and scraped with his hard, flat teeth. My core stopped screaming some time ago. It’s ready to beg, already weeping with slick wetness. He already promised to lick down there. Oh, I think that would be heavenly.

“I can’t think. I can’t make up my mind. You decide, Drayke. Please.”

There are two things I don’t understand. One is, who is this Nova who has abdicated all responsibility and wants, no, desires this male to make all her decisions? The other is, who is the male who has ramped up from Mr. Nice Guy to the most Alpha male I’ve ever met?

I decide I don’t give a crap. I like us both just the way we are right now.

He pulls my t-shirt up, exposing my breasts. I hear a harsh exhalation of air. “Beautiful, Nova. So beautiful. I think my bonding process may have started when I saw you in the arena. Maybe it was because these are so magnificent. Ask for what you want. Tell me.”

Why is he making me do this? “Please? Touch me.” And he does. He wastes no time. First his fingers, those delicate, talented surgeon’s fingers, pluck the tips of my breasts. Tweaking and then twirling until I can hardly bear it. I’m squirming in his lap. Can someone die from desire? I’m dying.

“What now? Tell me.”

“Teeth.” It’s barely a whisper.

His teeth are nipping me, scraping me. Exquisite pleasure right on the razor’s edge of pain. I’m certain his lap is wet from my desire even though I still have my panties and leggings on. I can’t think. This feels too good. My pelvis began thrusting minutes ago. I’ve created a rhythm. I want pressure.

He lifts his mouth to my ear, just breathing; his fingers replace his teeth on my nipples. I’m in agony. Sweet, delicious, mind-blowing agony.

“What now? Tell me,” he demands. He loves this control. So do I.

I’ve been naked in front of hundreds, maybe thousands of beings at a time in the arena, but I’m shy here with Drayke. I take his hand and place it right where I want it. The heel of his hand pressing on my clit, his fingers trailing downward, on top of my core.

“Words, Nova. Tell me.”

“I want to come, Drayke. Make me come.”

The heel of his hand strikes up a circular rhythm that I immediately match with my hips. I open myself to him more fully, scooting the table away with my knee. My head leans back against his shoulder, my lips part as I begin to pant.

“Dr. Drayke, Shadow, and Petra,” Zar’s voice interrupts harshly through the overhead speaker, “could you please come to the bridge?”

We both groan. I’m in physical pain, I assume we both are. My mind is still in a haze. I’m actually waiting for Drayke to tell me to open my eyes. He leans down and kisses me sweetly. He folds me in his arms and rocks me for a moment, so tenderly.

“It’s for the best, Nova. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have... taken far too many liberties. Open your eyes sweet one.”

I grasp his chin with my hand, making certain he sees the gravity in my expression. “That was the best hour of my life, Drayke. Never apologize for that.”

Pulling my shirt down over my hardened nipples, I watch as Drayke reaches inside his pants to rearrange his hard-on. He’s not shy; those cobalt eyes are staring at me with an expression of blatant, almost animal, desire as he rearranges his cock.

I don’t want to leave. “Fuck you, Zar.” I shout at the comm in the ceiling, assuming it’s off.

“Yes, fock you, Zar.” Drayke imitates my curse word as he laughs and shakes his fist in the air. I like this new Drayke. I like him best when he lets down his guard and doesn’t have to be the perfect professional.

“Walk or be carried? Are you tired?” He’s nothing if not solicitous.

“I’m a ball of horny nerve endings, Drayke. I’m on fire for you. Tired? No.”

He smiles and reaches for my hand.

On our way to the bridge, he explains that at this point in his bonding it will become harder for him when he’s not in close proximity to me.

“It will be difficult to leave you alone in medbay or even your cabin. I may start growling. I’ll lose my temper. I’ll be in even more pain than I am right now.” He stops for a moment, pulls me to face him, and puts his hands on my shoulders. “Because of what just happened in the solarium... my instincts are so filled with possessive lust…” He swallows and takes a breath, obviously having trouble even using that word in reference to himself. “I’m hoping to bring you with me, keep you close. Is that okay?”

My arousal spirals downward as an insistent voice in the back of my mind pesters me with questions. Am I making the right choice? Am I choosing to go down a road that will only lead to heartache? Did I leave one form of slavery to exchange it for another?

He’s told me I can stop this process at any time I choose. This isn’t slavery if I have choices. Right now, this moment, I choose to follow where my heart leads me. I can always stop this courtship if I want to.

“Yes, I’ll join you on the bridge.”

His close-lipped smile is radiant.