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Chapter Seventeen

B rianna

I woke up this morning feeling well used, and I mean that in a good way. I’m a bondmate! What a terrific twist of fate. I love my guys and they love me.

My heart still breaks for Axx. How terrible such a strong, virile male will never feel anything from the waist down.

I read on the Database that manual stimulation could give him an erection. That worked just like the articles said it would. They also said he could ejaculate, which he did. I hadn’t thought that through, though. He orgasmed, but he couldn’t fully feel it.

You’d think that would have destroyed him. But he seemed calm and happy last night. And Braxx seemed fine. If Axx was just faking it, Braxx would have picked it up from their twinbond, and I would have picked it up from him.

I feel Braxx stirring on my left. His eyes pop open and the first thing he does is gaze over at me and smile. “Brie looks beautiful with her hair all messed up,” he whispers, “the just- dracked look becomes you.”

I consult my stomach. It’s not contracting in discomfort at the “b-word.” In fact, I think I just might get used to this.

I feel Axx stir on my right. When I turn my head to say good morning I immediately know something is terribly wrong. His face contracts in worry.

“Axx? What’s wrong?”

“My body’s numb.”

His eyes widen in fright. “Can’t move my arms.”

“ Drack !”

B’s behind me comming the doctor as he bolts out of bed and pulls on his jumpsuit. I don my clothes in record time, then sit on the chair near Axx’s side, my palm pressed to his cheek.

It seems like an eternity until the blue doc comes running in, but I know it’s probably been less than two minutes. He’s using his medpad to scan Axx, the corners of his mouth tightly drawn down.

“I didn’t mention it before,” the doctor says, “because I didn’t think it was relevant, but my earlier scans indicated that the shrapnel was laced with a previously unknown radioactive isotope. This one hadn’t been quantified, but I didn’t think it was of any consequence.

“Something is affecting Axxios in an unusual manner, and now I’m wondering if it’s due to the unfamiliar qualities of that isotope.”

“Cut to the chase, doc,” Braxxus orders.

“Axxios's condition should be stable. The fact that his paralysis is spreading has no known cause. Maybe it’s the isotope, maybe not. Whatever the reason…” he bites his upper lip and looks down at his pad, avoiding our gaze, “my scans indicate this is unremitting, that it will continue until his muscles cease functioning.”

He pauses, then continues in a rush, “even his heart.”

“How can you be so certain?” Braxx demands.

“Because in the five minimas I’ve been in this room, the paralysis has spread an additional .05%. This thing is raging through your brother’s body.”

Silence. Thunderous silence. My heart is pounding in my chest, hot tears pool in my eyes. At first, I’m afraid to look at either of my guys, then I can’t tear my gaze away. Axx’s jaw is set, his newfound emotions shuttered and tightly locked down. Braxx’s sweet face is slack in shock and sadness.

I fist my hands at my sides and try not to cry—Axx doesn’t need to be worried about me right this moment.

“So what’s the treatment?” I ask forcefully, as if by sheer strength of will I could make Dr. Drayke invent a cure.

“Miss Brianna, I…”

“There is no treatment, Angel,” Axx says. Of course, it makes perfect sense that out of all of us he’s the strongest, calmest one in the room right now. “I’d put my arms around you if I could.”

I climb in next to him and curl up next to his side, one arm slung over him. I press against him tightly and lean up to kiss his golden cheek. He’s already fast asleep even though he just woke up.

“What’s the timeline, doc?” Braxx asks, his voice breaking as he rubs his hand absentmindedly over his head.

“I’ve never encountered anything like this before. This is uncharted territory. The scans don’t look good, Braxxus. I think he’s got days, maybe less. I’m sorry. I’ll go to the lab and pour over the Database. I’ll have Callista comm all the other ships that were on Fairea that day, see if they have any info. But…”

“Thanks, doc.”

It’s quiet in the room after Dr. Drayke leaves. Braxx slides into bed on Axx’s other side and we just hug each other. Axx is sleeping deeply, at least I hope he’s sleeping and not in a coma. I’m crying silently. I reach over Axx and pet Braxx’s velvety head.

“This is bad, Brie. Drack , my heart is breaking.”

“It’s like a bad dream. I can’t believe this is happening.”

“I know this isn’t fair to ask, Angel, but can I have an hoara alone with him? I wonder if maybe our twinlink…” his voice trails off.

“Absolutely, B. I’ll give you time with your gem.” I don’t feel hurt that he wants time alone with his twin. I’ve known Axx for two months, they’ve been intimately connected their entire lives. “I’ll bring you food when I come back.” I reach over Axx’s body, kiss Braxx, and scoot off the bed and out the door.

My feet make their way to the kitchen, although my head is in a complete fog. In every sense of the word, yesterday was my wedding day. Now one of my mates has been given a death sentence. Dear Lord, I just want to stay in this blissful cocoon of numbness. I’d rather not feel anything right now.

I have time on my hands and want to stay busy. I’ve been meaning to go to the cellblock and visit the geneslave. Yuck, I hate that name—it obviously carries the most vile connotations. It’s my fault he’s on this ship. Although I’ve asked the doc how he’s doing, I should check on him myself and make sure they’re treating him okay.

I visit the kitchen and coax Maddie into making a huge bowl of sumra , the noodle porridge all the males seem to love. While she’s cooking, I forage in the cold box for leftovers he might like. He was so emaciated, I assume he’ll eat whatever I bring.

I snag a huge mound of leftover bake-a-cake and add it to the tray I’m carrying. Thanking Maddie, I wend my way to the belly of the ship.

That’s right, Brie , I tell myself, stay busy, keep moving, help others. Don’t think .

I pause before I get to the cellblock door. Shit, I don’t want to enter. I’m filled with a sense of dread. I know what happened in that cell wasn’t all bad. Axxios was kind to me and although it was the oddest place in the galaxy to have a sexual awakening, that’s what happened here. And I know now this is where I began to fall in love with him. My mate. My mate who’s dying.

Stop it, Brie! Keep moving. Step, step, step. Help the geneslave. Don’t think.

When I was in this cellblock there was constant fear of being shocked or having my head blown off my shoulders. The Urluts leered at me, I knew they were probably watching us have sex on their hidden cameras. There was continual terror knowing I’d be sold and separated—all that was a true nightmare.

I square my shoulders and kick the door with my heel, hoping whoever’s guarding the prisoner will help me in. Stryker’s scarred face peers through the window in the metal door and he lets me in, although he doesn’t seem happy about it.

“Brianna, I’ll take that. You don’t have to come in here. I can’t imagine you want to revisit the memories you created in this drackhole .”

“Actually, I came to visit the prisoner.”

His eyes narrow and his jaw tightens. “Why?”

“He saved my life. He saved Braxx and Axx’s life, Stryker. That’s why.”

“He’s a geneslave. A canine. He’s dangerous. I’ll take the tray.”

I shift out of his reach. “I brought him food and I’d like to talk to him.” I can’t control my shiver as I offer, “let me have his collar controller and you take a break. I’ll be fine.” God knows I never want to touch a collar again.

“He’s a geneslave, Brianna, and I don’t think you’d have the heart to use the collar controller. Let me—”

“You must not know me very well, Stryker. You’re not going to talk me out of this. I’m not leaving without giving him his food and talking to him. You might as well take a break.” I look him hard in the eyes and square my shoulders.

He gently pulls the tray out of my grip and shoves it through the notch in the bars onto the floor of the cell.

I look at the geneslave for the first time since I walked in. He’s in the first cell, maybe eight feet away. His back is pressed into the back corner of his cell and he’s studiously avoiding both Stryker and me. I catch him sneaking a quick glance at the heavily-laden tray, then he turns his dead gaze to the floor.

I pull Stryker’s chair against the wall in the corridor outside the male’s cell. “See? I’ll sit here and talk to your prisoner while he eats. Unless he can shimmy through those bars, I’ll be as safe as a baby in a crib.” I smile up at him sweetly. “Maddie’s in the kitchen. Nobody else is there. You two might be able to snag some alone time.”

That certainly got his attention. The enticement of sex might have done the trick.

“Here’s the collar controller. Promise me you’ll use it if you need to.” He edges toward the door.

“Absolutely. I’ll be fine. I won't leave until you get back.”

“Doctore should be here to relieve me in half an hoara ,” he says, and he’s out the door at a jog.

I take a moment to glance down the hallway toward the cell where Axx and I were imprisoned. That’s history , I tell myself as I square my shoulders, no time to think about that now .

I notice my fingers fiddling idly with my new necklace, the symbol of our tri-bond. I snatch my hand away as if I’d touched hot coals. I don’t need to think of that right now, either.

“Feel free to eat. I’m certainly not going to go in there and fight you for it,” I tell the prisoner.

He glances at me, a feral look in his mismatched eyes. He walks on all fours, almost like a dog, to grab the tray, then pulls it to the rear of his cell. With his back toward me, he begins inhaling his food.

I know instinctively that no words will calm him. Nothing I say could soothe him or convince him I won’t hurt him, zap his collar, or snatch his food back. Although I have a terrible voice I decide to sing. Of course, the song that flies into my mind is from Brownies about friendship—the one about new friends, silver and gold.

Ah, the power of the subconscious. I wasn’t really focusing when that song popped into my mind. A pang of sadness so sharp and so deep threatens to break me, but I push that inside and focus on just this moment.

My terrible singing seems to be working. First, his back straightens a bit; he’s not hunched so far over his food. Then he slows down from fast shoveling to normal eating.

Although his back is mostly between me and his food, I can see the plates and his hands. When he moves to eat the cake, I gently tell him, “That’s dessert. Most people save that for last.” I see him politely set the cake back down and finish everything else.

“You’re still way too thin, but it looks like you’ve put on a bit of weight. I hope they’ve been feeding you regularly.” I figure he’s calmed enough I can talk to him instead of continuing to repeat the old song. “I want to apologize for not visiting sooner. I’ve been preoccupied.”

“With your mates?” he asks, his tone deep and gruff.

“How’d you…?” I guess he’s smart enough to have picked that up from our behavior during that frantic run on Fairea. “Yes. The gold one was hit by shrapnel, like you.”

“But he got sick from it,” he offers.

“Yeah, it made him sick and it severed his spinal cord. He’s…dying.”

Oh my God, did I just say that? Did I just admit that out loud? Tears spring to my eyes, but I tighten my jaw and try to pull myself together.

“Oh. Sorry.” He turns a few degrees my way. I can see his profile. I’m not certain he can see me through the shaggy curtain of his snarled hair.

“I’m sorry,” I say, trying to pull myself back into the here and now, “I shouldn’t have dragged you here. I wanted to save your life. I didn’t really think it through, though. I didn’t really believe you’d wind up in this cell. I guess I should have left you on Fairea.”

“I’d be dead there,” his voice sounds so hollow, so resigned.

“So if you could tell me where you want to go, what planet you’re from, where your family is, I’ll try to convince Zar to take you there. We can get you back where you belong.”

“I’m a geneslave.”

“I’m new here. I don’t understand.”

“I was created in a lab. I have no planet other than the one I was created on. I don’t even have any acquaintances other than the drackhole who tricked me and re-enslaved me, then left me to die in that terrorist attack.”

Although his words are sad, his face carries no expression. It’s SSDD to him.

“Well...where would you like to go? Certainly you’ve heard of other places? Somewhere you could be safe, start a new life?”

He shakes his head and turns a few more degrees so we can fully see each other. He reaches for the cake and takes a bit with his fingers—Stryker confiscated the silverware I brought.

When he puts the first bite into his mouth, the expression on his face is comical. It moves in slow motion. The cake enters his mouth and he chews once, then his eyes round, he lets out a short, deep moan from the back of his throat, and instead of inhaling the food, he savors every bite. He slowly chews, as his eyes close in ecstasy. Finally, he swallows with a tiny smile on his face.

He raises his eyebrows at me, needing no words to ask the question.

“Cake,” I reply. “It’s a treat. That’s why you eat it at the end of the meal.”

“With food like that, who needs any other?” He takes several minutes eating and savoring every morsel of the cake until there isn’t a crumb left on his plate.

“Yeah, I get it. Chocolate cake, chocolate frosting—who could resist?”

“Chocolate,” he says it in a hushed tone, like it’s a most powerful and beloved deity. Yeah, this BBW can certainly relate.

“I’ll bring you some more later. I’ll also talk to Zar, the captain, and see if he knows a safe place to take you. I’ll try, but I don’t know if they’ll allow you out of this cell. Everyone seems to fear you.”

“Yet you don’t. Why?”

“You saved our lives. You carried my mate to safety. You could have run the other way after we cut your bonds. You risked your life for us. Why would I fear you?” He gets quiet and thoughtful.

“Did you think of a name?” I ask.

“Sirius. The Altherian name for a canine.”

“Seriously?” Whoops, that probably wasn’t nice. “I don’t think the canine thing is a compliment. Maybe a name that doesn’t call attention to…?”

“It’s what I am.” It’s the most forceful thing I’ve heard him say.

“Sirius it is, then.” I muster a smile. “Pleased to meet you, Sirius.” I’m nodding at him, genuinely pleased to call him anything other than “geneslave.”

“Pleased to meet you…?”

“Oh, sorry, Brianna.”

Doctore’s voice interrupts over the comm, “I’ll be there in five minimas , Stryker.”

“I’ll come back...at some point...and bring more food—and cake. I’ll see if they can get you a shower. I’ll talk to Zar about—”

“You’ve been kind to me Brianna. I will heal your bondmate.”

“What?”

“It’s one of the reasons I had to run from planet Malego. They bred me to be the perfect fighting machine. I’m stronger than other humanoids twice my size, I have excellent night vision, an animal’s sense of smell and hearing, and I have self-healing powers.

“They discovered my blood can be used to heal other species. I’m a geneslave—expendable. They were preparing to drain me completely, kill me to save the life of some rich official. I found a way off-world and took it.” His gaze penetrates mine. “I’ll heal your mate for you, Brianna,” his voice is soft and melodious.

I don’t think tears have ever sprung to my eyes like this—my emotions reacted faster than my thoughts could comprehend his words. My feelings are spinning so swiftly I can’t think. Is it true? Can he heal Axxios? And, dear God, did he just give me information that he could be killed for? Why would he do that?

“It would work?”

He simply nods.

My mind fast-forwards to my next steps. I imagine telling Zar about Sirius’ abilities. I know with certainty he’ll say no. He’ll insist it’s just a trick for Sirius to get out of his cell and break free, that the geneslave is just playing on a heartbroken female’s emotions to get his freedom. Zar’s had a hard life and isn’t very trusting.

The idea that a cure might be sitting less than ten feet from me and Zar would forbid me to take advantage of it tightens my throat. Time is of the essence, I have to figure out how to make this happen, and it has to happen now, right this minute, before Doctore barges through that door.

I come up with the plan in a split second. This will either convince Zar to allow the prisoner out of his cell to heal Axxios, or it will get me killed. I’m willing to die trying to save Axx. The thought shocks me, but I know it’s true. I love him so much I’d trade my life for his.

“Sirius, sit with your back to the bars. I’m going to take off your collar.”

“Won’t this get you in trouble with your shipmates?”

“Hurry!”

He does as I ask. I kneel down, use the collar controller to disable it, and reach between the bars to snatch it off his neck. It’s the work of a moment to place it around my own neck and toss the controller into his cell.

Sweat blooms all over my body, an autonomic reaction that bypasses my brain. Part of me wants to tear the fucking thing off and throw it to the end of the hallway, but the rest of me insists I follow through with the plan, however half-baked it is.

Sirius backs away from the device, his hands up, palms toward me. “What are you doing Brianna?” his voice is a shocked whisper.

“When Doctore gets here you can threaten to kill me if they don’t release you. You’ll have all the power. You can get out of that cell and make them take you to a safe planet.”

He kicks the controller toward me, then retreats until his back is against the rear of the cell. “No! I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt anyone!”

“Use me, take me as a hostage. You deserve a life. But will you help my mate first?” I shove the controller toward him again.

“What the drack ?” Doctore has walked into the cellblock, assessed the scene, and is aiming his laser weapon at Sirius as I scream, “NO!” and rush to stand between the two males, my arms outstretched. “Don’t hurt him, Doctore, this is my fault.”

The gladiator still has his weapon in his two outstretched hands, pointed at Sirius. “Step away, Brianna. How did this cur manage to collar you?”

“I collared myself. Stand down. I did this to help him escape, but he wants no part in it and I’m afraid you’re going to kill him due to my stupidity.”

I glance behind me and see Sirius facing the rear, his palms against the wall.

Doctore slowly lowers his gun, and I heave a sigh of relief. I’ve never acted so impulsively, or done something so foolish in all my life.

A n hour later I’m in our cabin with my two bondmates, the doctor, and Captain Zar, trying to explain my reckless behavior. “It seemed like a good idea at the time...I knew I had to act fast. I just thought you’d never let him out of his cell, Zar. I wanted him to get a chance to help Axx if he could.”

“You could have gotten yourself killed Brianna,” Zar scolds. “Doctore could have shot the geneslave, who sounds innocent of all wrongdoing.” He shakes his leonine head, his lips pressed into a flat line as he spears me with a disappointed look.

“The decision about the procedure is yours, Axx,” Zar’s tone is now calm and supportive.

“I spoke with the geneslave, who’s eager to cooperate,” says Dr. Drayke. “I consider myself a good judge of character and I can’t discern any motive other than a sincere desire to help. He knows he’ll be tied to the gurney and there will be a contingent of gladiators at the ready if he makes any moves. It sounds as if it’s not much more complicated than a simple transfusion.”

“You say I’ve got a day or two at most doc?” Axx asks, his voice level.

Drayke nods solemnly.

“Sounds like I have very little to lose.”

Axxios

An houra later Sirius and I were stretchered into medbay, two houras after that the transfusion was complete. This was the least invasive procedure I’ve endured since my injury. Sirius was kind and respectful throughout.

The tiny medbay exam area didn’t have room for anyone other than Sirius and me on our stretchers, Braxx and Doctore who were heavily armed in case the geneslave made any moves to harm anyone, and Dr. Drayke. I felt bad that Brie was relegated to wait in the hallway, but the procedure didn’t take long.

Whatever the ultimate outcome of the transfusion, I realize Sirius risked his life to save mine.

“I don’t know why you offered to save my life, Sirius, but you’re smart enough to know the information you entrusted us with could get you killed. I’ll never be able to repay you. Whether this procedure works or not, know that I’m indebted to you.”

“It was the right thing to do. I wish you well,” is his reply. I vow to myself that I’ll never call him a geneslave again.

Neither Sirius nor Dr. Drayke knew how long it would take for me to see results, if there were any.

As they stretcher me back to our room, I consider giving Brianna the wrath of seven hells for pulling that stunt in the cellblock. When I think of her delicate neck surrounded by that dracking collar I want to break things.

Back in our cabin, Braxx laid me on the middle of the bed, and now I have my silver twin on one side and Brianna on the other.

It’s my life’s biggest irony that I’ve found my bondmate and regained my link with both my gem and my emotions within days of receiving a death sentence. I worry about Brie and Braxx, wondering how they’ll do without me.

I have no faith in this procedure working, I thought it would distract Brie through the next couple days. It will give her something to hope for and keep her from mourning me before I’m gone.

Brie

The last two days have been steeped in heartache and finality. Axx has been sleeping twenty-three hours a day, turning his head fitfully and making pained noises. He’s been paralyzed from the neck down since this morning.

When he’s awake he’s been a joy to be with, which makes the situation more poignant, if that’s even possible. The taciturn, isolative male I initially met is gone. He’s now a complete person willing to talk about his emotions and connect with his gem and me.

Every time he wakes up he apologizes for hurting my feelings when he was still his emotionless gold self. I’ve told him to stop saying such things, I forgave him days ago.

He admits he’s loved me since he was five, just like his gem. This pains my heart even more.

He’s so thoughtful, he made B and me promise to take care of Sirius. Although it’s not the first thing on my mind, I plan on talking to Captain Zar about releasing him from the cellblock.

Axx and Braxx have had a few brief, private conversations. Braxx tearfully told me they’ve already said their goodbyes.

I know I should talk to Axx—give us both closure—but I haven’t been able to force myself to do so. I’m not sure I’ve avoided it because I still believe the transfusion will miraculously work, or simply because I’m the galaxy’s biggest coward and I just don’t want to say my heartbreaking goodbyes to one of the males I love.

Dr. Drayke stops by to perform scans three or four times a day, and although the progression of the paralysis has slowed, it hasn’t stopped. We all know it’s a matter of hours before his heart stops beating.

We’re lying in bed in a sandwich. Ever since the transfusion, Axx has been the peanut butter, and B and I have been the bread. Axx is out of it, it’s a state deeper than sleep. I lift my head and see that Braxx is awake. I reach over and rub his spiky hair, I know he likes that. “How you doing, B?”

“Sad, Brie. Not much time, listen to his breathing.”

I’ve been trying not to acknowledge it, but I noticed that his labored breathing of a few hours ago is softer and slower now.

“Can you feel him through your twinlink?”

“For the last few days it’s flickered from nothing when he’s out of it, to pain when he’s awake.” He sighs.

Axx’s breathing quickens and his eyes pop open. With all the pain he’s in, it’s sweet and surprising that the first thing he does when he awakens is smile at me, then his gem.

“Beautiful Brianna,” he says sweetly as he reaches out to sweep my hair off my face.

“Axx?” I say. He hasn’t been able to move his arms in over thirty-six hours.

“Gods!” he declares as he moves his hands to pat his thighs and calves.

I watch under the covers as he moves his legs, then wiggles his toes. “Look!” he announces as he throws the blankets off and bends his knees.

I thought we were sharing the last hours of his life, and here he is fully functional. My face is stretched into a wide smile—I’ve never felt happiness like I do this minute. I want to cry and laugh at the same time. My head is spinning. Part of me is too afraid to believe this could be happening, and the other wants to believe it with all my heart and soul.

I’ve known I’ve loved Axx for days, but now, with his strong arms around both Braxx and me in the tightest hug, my chest is so full and warm I feel I’ll burst.

He looks at me with all the love in the universe. His features are soft, full of warmth, and focused fully on me.

Yes, this is the look I’ve always wanted, and it seems I’ll never lack for it again. It comes easily to Axx now, and he doesn’t seem shy about sharing it.

“I have the best gem and the most beautiful bondmate in the galaxy,” Axx pronounces, never taking his eyes off mine.

“All in agreement, say yes,” Braxx says jubilantly.

“Yes!” we all shout.

“We all agree with that,” Axx says with a smile, “but are you ready for a lifetime of being outvoted, Brie?”

“Yes if it means we get to stay bondmates,” I nod happily. I look down and notice that everything below his waist is working perfectly. I stifle the urge to test out its full functionality—that can wait. Right now I sink next to him, nestle my head on his bicep and throw my arm around both him and as much of Braxx as I can reach. I feel Braxx’s arm stroke my back as he pulls me in even tighter.

I know we’ll be testing Axx’s stamina in this bed in a few hours, but right now all I want to do is bask in how fabulous I feel right now.

That weird energy exchange like we experienced on Fairea is happening. A loop of strong energy circling and whirling from one to the other.

It builds with every circuit, enveloping us. It’s so thick and so real it almost feels like I could reach out and touch it. It’s as if our molecules are mixing and blending with each other: Axx’s into me, mine into Braxx, all of it circling and mingling and decimating any barriers that remain between the three of us.

I’ll forever be part of these guys, and they’re now part of me. This is the tri-bond—I don’t need to know it’s complete. And it’s real, as authentic and strong as hardened steel.

I don’t even know how to describe it. It’s more than the deepest love. I feel more full than a cup that’s overflowing. I’m complete in every way. And safe. I’m so safe in their loving arms.

I open my eyes and look at them. I feel such a tremendous overwhelm—a rush of love and acceptance flowing from me to them, then doubling, tripling, and hurtling back to me again.

“It will be like this forever?” I’m almost breathless.

“Yes,” they both respond at once. They’re smiling. It’s so wonderful, such a relief to see a wide, happy grin on Axx’s face especially. He’s changed, that’s obvious. I imagine he’s thrilled to be released from the prison of his constrained emotions. Now he’s free to receive and express love.

My face is stretched tight in a broad smile. I have my beautiful silver and gold bondmates. I’m snuggled in a big bed on a swift ship full of friends who love me. I don’t know where we’re going, or if we’ll ever find a place to settle down. Frankly, I don’t care. What I have, right here, right now, is so much more than I ever hoped for.

“I love you guys,” I tell them.

“We love you, too,” they both reply.

“If there are Gods, I’m blessed. You two are truly a gift,” Axx says, hugging us both and kissing me. “If we weathered this, we can get through anything.”

“I told you it would all work out,” Braxx says. “It always does.”