Page 91

Chapter Fifteen

D r. Drayke sun Omrun

I woke up this morning curled around Nova, my arm slung across her waist. I don’t want to wake her by commanding the computer to turn on the lights, so I just lay with her awhile.

I think back to just a few weeks ago when I had been in misery over my life. I’d been tricked into working for the most dangerous cartel in the galaxy. I knew I would never see my family again because of the tremendous shame I would bring them. I hated myself for my cowardice and the extent of my participation in the forced breeding activities of the gladiators and human females aboard this ship.

I watched as almost everyone on the ship paired off with someone they connected with, cared about. I knew I would never have that. I mourned the loss of the promise of a bonded mate.

In this short period of time, I’ve found Nova. I’ve gone from half a male to one with a soul. I’ve found love, and passion. I still don’t understand her inability to love me back, or her fear of bonding to a male who would care for her passionately until the end of time. But she’s a free female and she can reject me if she wishes. I can’t control her.

I don’t understand why Lord God Anteros would shape Dacians in such a way that we could lose our lives due to an unrequited bond. But that is his will.

What I do know is that today is my last day in this lifetime. I will make it my best. I will do everything in my power to help Braxxus. I will try to help Nova forgive herself for her actions. This isn’t her fault.

I slip out of bed, take a shower, and pull on my loincloth and jumpsuit. I make a quick run to the dining area and make Nova a sandwich of bread and a spread Maddie calls “kindapeanutbutter.” I circle back to our room—it will be Nova’s room soon—and put it on the bedside table for when she wakes.

When I get to medbay I’m surprised to find Axxios gone. He’s left Brianna in his place.

“Hi, Dr. Drayke.” She stands up quickly, as if I caught her doing something wrong. “Do you need me to leave?”

“No, Brianna, you’re fine. How’s our patient?”

“Axxios asked me to tell you Braxxus was moaning this morning.” As if to confirm this fact, a soft, guttural noise escapes the back of his throat.

I turn him gently on his side. “Feel free to sit down, Brianna. You’re fine where you are.”

I palpate near the site of the wound, feeling the extreme warmth through the plas-film. I shake my head and pronounce, “Not good.”

Despite all the antibiotics I’m pumping into him, he’s got an infection.

“Call Axxios and tell him I’m going to perform another procedure on his brother. It’s not the revision we discussed, but I’ll be entering the exterior portion of the wound and irrigating it with a phenolate solution to address the infection. It has analgesic properties to help allay the pain as well. He’s welcome to watch, but that isn’t necessary.”

While I’m gathering the solution and my instruments, Axxios comes bursting in. His eyes are wide in fright.

“What’s the matter, doc?”

“Don’t worry, Axxios. I should have warned you, this was to be expected. It’s just a few moments work to apply this compound. The revision will be the difficult procedure.”

“I was reading your message right as Brianna called me. Did you write me all those instructions because you were…?”

I glance over at Brianna who is smoothing Braxxus's hair and not paying attention to Axxios and me. I motion him into my lab.

“Nova and I opened the Second Gate last night. It seems I have a reprieve for today. But that is the last one, Axxios. I’ll perform this procedure, but there’s still far too much internal bleeding and bruising to do the revision he’ll need for a full recovery. I suggest you look at the star charts and find an appropriate planet to visit in the next day or two. Find one with skilled physicians who can oversee this procedure. I wrote you all those instructions, but I believe it should be done by a doctor. Braxxus should make a full recovery if he gets that surgery. You’re the pilot, make it happen.”

“The Third Gate, Dr. Drayke?”

“There will be no Third Gate, Axxios.”

His glance skitters from mine. His jaw is tight with unspoken emotion. He reaches over and grasps my arm in an act of support and solidarity.

“No chance with Nova? Nothing else you can do?”

“It is what it is, Axxios. It’s been an honor knowing you.”

Axxios swallows hard, his throat clenching, shakes his head, and walks to his silver twin’s bedside.

The procedure only takes a few minimas . “His fever should recede soon. He’s receiving enough nutrition through the tube. All should be well until you get him to a physician, as long as it’s within a few days.”

I neaten the medbay, especially my lab, leaving notes for my replacement, should they ever find another physician for our little ship. I feel a pang of sadness. Every single thing I do today will be my last. My last breakfast, which I forgot to eat. My last patient, my last stroll from medbay to my cabin. And soon... my last kiss, then my last breath. It’s a good thing I’m having these thoughts now, on my walk back to my room. I want all this maudlin drack out of my head by the time I walk through that door.

Nova

Dahlia and Zoey are visiting, they brought breakfast. I’m having trouble paying attention to anything they say. Although they’re very nice women, I’m totally preoccupied with way more pressing things, like the fact that Drayke is going to commit sanctu today.

Savannah and Callista were here earlier. They also brought me a plate of food. I’d already eaten the peanut butter sandwich Drayke left me. I don’t want anything else to eat, and I definitely don’t want what Dahlia and Zoey are dishing out if it’s anything like what the previous two women talked about.

They started out asking about my arm, but the conversation quickly evolved into telling me how wonderful Dr. Drayke is. They were about as subtle as a piano falling out of a third-story window.

Drayke opens the door, but stops before he fully enters the room.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt, do you want me to go?”

“No, no,” Dahlia says. “We were just leaving. Oh, Dr. Drayke,” she adds casually, “I don’t think I ever thanked you for being so kind when you were... tending to me when we were all still slaves. There were days when yours was just about the only kindness I received.”

“Yes, Dr. Drayke,” shy Zoey chimes in. She’s unable to give Drayke eye contact, but she adds, “I was always so grateful that you were gentle and tried to distract me. I knew you didn’t want to do... I thought to myself, ‘that’s a good male.’”

That’s certainly the most words I’ve ever heard come out of her mouth. Each of the women hugs Drayke before they leave. No one comes out and says it, but the women are saying their goodbyes, as well as not-so-subtly suggesting I should have my head examined for rejecting him. My heart is breaking. It’s very quiet when the door closes behind them.

“I want to make sure your arm is healing well.” He sits on the bed next to me and pulls off the plas-film. “How was your kindapeanutbutter sandwich? I made it with my own dracking hand.” He smiles gently at me, I know he sees the tears welling in my eyes. How sweet, to try to distract me. He’s going to be kind to me to the bitter fucking end. Of course, what else would he be?

“Looking good, the surgical site couldn’t look better. What do you think?”

I inspect it. “If you had told me a few days ago the scar would look this good I wouldn’t have believed you. The salve you made did a hell of a job. Almost no puckering or redness.”

“Press my hand down,” he instructs as he puts his hand in front of me palm up. I press down several times as he presents increasing amounts of resistance. He then has me press up and to each side. “Your strength is coming back. I’ve loaded several vids on your computer. Physical therapy. Promise me you’ll do one vid twice a day for fifteen days at the least.”

I can’t bear it, he’s so kind. He’s thought of everything, taken care of everything so I’ll be okay after he’s gone.

“Is it fair to ask you to hold me, Drayke? Can we lay down and you put your arms around me?”

In a moment we’re cuddled together on the bed. His arm is draped around me, my back to his front. Falling asleep is a great coping mechanism, way easier than dealing with reality.

~.~

“Nova, wake.” It’s Drayke, he’s shaking me gently. I flip over and look at him, really look at him, for the first time today. Oh my God, he looks like shit. His color has a greenish tinge except under his eyes where it’s gray. The skin is stretched tightly over those high cheekbones, and he looks so tired. The bonding hormones are taking their toll on him.

I press my hand to his cheek and lift an eyebrow in question.

“Not well. Losing it.”

I kiss him sweetly on the lips. He responds by grabbing my ass and crushing his rock-hard erection against me. He pulls my leg up across his hips and presses harder, right against my core. My eyes fly open in surprise; he nips the cords of my neck. I think if I don’t put on the brakes he might open the Third Gate. He’s on autopilot, not thinking clearly. Actually, he’s not thinking at all.

He pulls my pants down, definitely growling now. Not angry, possessive get-away-from-my-female growling, but sexy I’m-going-to-fuck-you-right-now growling. My head may not want this, but my core is aching for it.

I nudge his head down, figuring if he tastes me it will clear his mind. Then we can have the rest of the day together. I had something planned.

Ten minutes later, we’re face-to-face, our hands roaming each others’ back. We’re both drained and satiated, yet we’re still animals, we can’t get enough of each other.

“ Drack , Nova,” his voice is deep, gravelly. “I didn’t intend for that to happen.”

“Yeah, but it was delicious... and it tasted good, too. And see? Now you’re speaking in complete sentences.”

He’s smiling, kissing me sweetly. I silently hope he doesn’t spoil this by asking why I don’t want this forever, because that’s still my firm stance. But I know he won’t ask. He won’t fight dirty. That’s not who he is.

“There’s something I wanted to do with you today,” I tell him as I lay my head on his bicep and drink him in—the look of him, his scent, his warmth.

“That wasn’t it?” He waggles his eyebrows.

“That was a bonus. I wanted to go to the solarium. It’s peaceful there. I know it’s just as quiet here in our room, but there’s something... magical there.”

“I like it there, too.” He snuggles the top of my head with his chin. This always makes me feel so safe and cared for. How am I going to bear losing him?

~.~

The solarium is hushed and beautiful, just as I remembered it. I had a silent little talk with myself on the walk here. I promised myself I won’t relive the last time we were here, I won’t recall the apples and dulce , I won’t think about the intense feelings we shared here. And I promised myself I definitely won’t cry.

We’re sitting on chairs, looking out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the vast expanse of space. I’m struck by the endlessness of what I see. It goes on forever. Not just sparkling stars strewn in the black darkness, but swirling purple nebulae. Millions of miles away I see a blueish formation that looks like the eye of a huge, all-seeing god.

“It’s freeing actually,” I tell him. “To know I’ll never see Earth again. There’s no one I need to please, no one I need to impress, no expectations I need to fulfill. Just make myself happy.”

It’s so quiet and peaceful here, our conversation moves slowly as if there is no rush.

“You were a fighter. You were a good one since you survived two years in the arena. You’re a free female now, Nova. What do you think you want to do?”

“I have no idea.”

“Some of the male gladiators want to keep fighting. They argued about who would be allowed to fight for the purse when we went to Bellona... when we found you. Would you want to do that? Keep fighting?”

“Absolutely not. I don’t know exactly what I do want, but I know I’ll never fight again. I should have never been a fighter, I never liked it. Sometimes circumstances force you places you don’t want to go.”

“You’ve never told me, Sweet, about your family, your life before I met you. I know some things about Earth from the other females, but I know so little about you.”

“Nothing important.” I shrug. Why would he care? Why would he want to know the unimportant minutiae of my unimportant life when he’s going to stick a knife in his heart in a few hours?

He spears me with his gaze, so sincere, “I want to know what makes you who you are. The individual, unique, very important Nova.”

I think for a long moment. I’ve never been much of a talker. Mainly because I’ve never known anyone who really wanted to listen. I heave a sigh and nod. One thing I know for certain is that Drayke wants to listen. I guess I’ll learn to talk.

“Well, first I should tell you my name isn’t Nova. It was Patricia.”

“Patreesha,” he echoes. “Do you wish me to call you that?”

“Nope. I’m Nova now. I was told I needed a gladiator name when they entered me in my first match. That was a few months after my abduction. By then Patricia was dead—long dead. I was a shell. Just a husk of fear and pain and the will to keep living, even though I didn’t know why. I didn’t know much Latin, but I thought I remembered that Nova meant new. I liked that. Since the old me was dead, I needed a new me—Nova.”

“Nova’s a beautiful name. It fits you so well.”

We fall into an easy silence. The first peace I’ve known in days.

“Tell me about the fighting. You said you were a grappler, before they took you from Earth. Not all Earth females are fighters. I remember when the Captain had the females watch the gladiators battle, right before they overthrew the ship. The females didn’t even want to watch at first. I understand it’s not part of your culture.”

“Well humans fight, it’s our nature. But most women don’t. I grew up with eight older brothers and very little supervision. When I was little they took up martial arts and trained in fighting techniques. I was compelled to learn as self-defense. I got really good.”

“The way you say that it sounds like they hurt you. Where were your parents?”

“My mom died giving birth to me. No one ever said it, but they blamed me for her death. Every one of them, including my father.”

“So that is why he let your brothers abuse you?”

“No,” I shake my head. I’ve tried to figure it out most of my life, why did my father let them hurt me so badly? “I don’t fully understand. The best I’ve come up with is he was heartbroken and overwhelmed with nine children to raise. I’m not even sure he knew half of what really went on.”

“Your aunts and grandmothers didn’t help? The maids and servants didn’t care for you properly?”

“Earth isn’t like Dacia, Drayke. It’s kind of set up to be dog eat dog. Extended family isn’t always close by—mine weren’t. We didn’t have the money for a maid or a servant. It was just my dad, and he was busy working two jobs to feed and clothe us. He wasn’t a mean man, Drayke. He didn’t set me up to fail or get abused by my brothers. It just happened because he was distracted and busy. He left the older boys in charge and... I just got left behind to fend for myself. The better I got at fighting, the safer I became.”

“So that’s how Nova became Nova.” He smiles. “No matter how difficult your childhood was, it’s because of your training that you survived the last two years as a slave. I don’t know the God you pray to, Nova, but he or she planned it all out. All the difficulty was so you could eventually survive when you were abducted. God is merciful.”

A rueful laugh escapes me. I cover my mouth, trying to take it back. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be sarcastic, but I don’t believe that. If God was so merciful, why are you dying? You’re the best male I’ve ever met. Why would your God kill you?”

“My God isn’t killing me, Nova. My biology is.”

There’s a long silence. I don’t know what is going through his head right now, but my mind is screaming at me, finishing his sentence differently. My God isn’t killing me, Nova. You are. I clench my teeth together and order my thoughts to shut up. I focus on only two things: breathing in and breathing out. In and out, for long seconds until I don’t feel like crying anymore.

“So males hurt you, they’ve hurt you your entire life. Your father didn’t protect you, your brothers beat you. Then you fought males in the arena who attacked you, and your owner got mad at you and placed you in a claiming match where he wanted you to die. And you don’t want forever with any male because of that?”

What did he just say? I repeat it word for word in my head. Once, twice, three times. Did he really just distill my whole life into four sentences?

My fingers grip the arms of my chair and my mind spirals out the windows and into the dark expanse. I have no idea how long I ponder what he just said.

Is that what my life boils down to? A caricature of an abused woman who can’t trust? I glance over at Drayke. He knows how to handle my silence, he doesn’t push. He just sits with me and looks out into the star-strewn blackness and allows me to think. I doubt he has any idea that my synapses are firing at lightning speed as I recalculate every thought I’ve ever had, every behavior I’ve ever performed, and every decision I’ve ever made.

“Say it again!” It escapes my mouth as a command, not a request.

He looks confused. It must have been a long time since he made his last statement, but finally, he repeats it.

What, exactly, have I been running from? I don’t think I ever really asked.

“Tell me about forever!” I demand.

He looks startled, never having seen this side of me before. “On planet Dacia when a male and female bond, they forge a connection so strong that nothing can break it. Neither of them wants to break it. It is a melding of souls. Neither desires another living being to share their bodies or their bed. Other than food and water, it is the only thing either of them truly need. They care for each other. It is effortless. It’s as easy as breathing. It is never a burden to help the other. There is peace. There is agreement of purpose. It is two people, two bodies, two souls progressing through life with one goal—the peaceful enjoyment of life and each other.

“No one has visited the afterlife. No one knows for sure what happens after death. But my people believe the connection lives on, after death. That’s bonding. Two souls working toward one purpose... forever.”

I glance into those deep-set cobalt eyes. So open to me. He’s offered me this. He’s still offering me this. What exactly is it that scares me so deeply? I scoot my chair closer to him and reach out for his hand. It’s trembling. He smiles and lifts it up, I think to bring it to his lips for a kiss. But his hand doesn’t make it. It does an awkward little spasmodic dance of its own.

“Bonding sickness, Nova. Getting bad again. Should go.” He stands up from his chair and then crumbles in slow motion, catching himself on the edge of his chair so he’s seated. He stares over at me, eyes wide. For the first time, I see fear there. “Going quick. Thought... more time.”

“You do have more time, Drayke. We’re going to open the Third Gate together. We have all the time in the galaxy.”

He shakes his head.

“I want this. I want you,” I tell him sincerely. And saying the words out loud erases any doubts I have about their veracity. I absolutely, positively do want this.

He shakes his head and shouts, “No!”

“I want—”

“No!” He’s scrabbling to rise, using his arms to help himself up and still failing.

“I want to open the Third Gate with you.” I’m more forceful this time. I want this with all my heart.

“No!”

I realize we’re not actually having a cogent argument because his mouth isn’t working, or maybe it’s his brain that isn’t working. He can’t even stand up from his chair. He can’t say anything other than “no.”

I reach out to touch his face and he manages to push my hand away. With difficulty, he frees his erection from his pants. I realize immediately what he wants. My mouth on him will buy him enough time and presence of mind to talk to me. Okay.

“I love you,” I tell him as I get on my knees between his feet. I don’t know what the magic is that brings his brain back online, if it’s my saliva, or his orgasm, but that’s quickly accomplished.

“This is going so much faster than I imagined,” he’s still breathing fast from his release. “Help me back to my room before I lose it again.”

“Yes, let’s get back to our room and open the Third Gate.”

“We’re going back to the room to get my ceremonial knife. If you’ll be so kind, you will escort me to the garbage bay. I don’t want anyone to have to clean up my body. I’m going to plunge the knife into my right heart as directed by my Lord God Anteros, then send my body out into space. Hurry, Nova. Please, if you have any compassion for me at all, take me back to the room right now. I don’t want anyone to see me like this. I hate to ask…”

It’s clear we have no time to argue. He stands, and I scoot under his armpit and move him toward the door. I’m such a fool. Look what I’ve put him through, and now he doesn’t trust me. He thinks I’m playing with him, or doing this out of pity.

What was a three-minute walk from our room to the solarium is a ten-minute slog back. Luckily we only pass Zoey, who’s too shy to ask why Drayke is leaning on me so heavily. I guess it’s no secret anyway. Everyone knows he’s dying.

I ease him onto the bed as soon as we enter the room. He curls up in the fetal position and pants through his teeth.

“Knife.”

“No. Drayke, I know it’s taken me far too long to figure things out, but let me lay it out for you. I love you. I want to be with you. Forever. I want to open the Third Gate with you. I want to be bonded with you. I’ve changed my mind.”

“No. Knife!”

Shit! He can’t talk again. He only managed about fifteen minutes this time.

“You don’t believe me. I understand. You think I’m sacrificing my happiness for you, right?”

He nods and struggles to a sitting position; he holds his palm up, “Knife!” He’s in pain, panting shallowly.

“No. You’re dependent on me. No one’s coming to help you, Drayke. It’s just you and me and I have all the power right now. I’m an idiot. It’s taken me way too long to see the light, but I know what I want and I want you. I want us. I’m not going to let you deny us both because you’re stubborn.” The irony of what I’m saying is not lost on me. These are all things he should have been telling me over the last few days. But he was far too nice to put pressure on. Me? I’m not so nice.

He opens his fly and pulls out his cock. It’s engorged with blood and a deeper blue than I’ve ever seen. This is his not-so-subtle request for another blowjob so he can argue with me. I comply, and the deed is done in moments.

“Nova, I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself for me. I love you too much to watch that happen. Hand me the knife, let me take care of this. Get Axxios or Zar, they’ll deal with my body. You don’t have to see me again.”

“Go get it yourself.” I feel pretty comfortable making this demand because he’s weak as a kitten and won’t be able to walk to the dresser. Whatever his Dacian God was thinking when he designed this whole bonding thing, he made a serious tactical error. I have no idea how this has worked for their race over the millennia because frankly, it doesn’t seem sustainable to me.

He slings his feet over the side of the bed, but can’t stand up.

“Start praying to your Lord God Anteros, Drayke, because you’re about to open the Third Gate and I know you want to be in his good graces before you do that.”

I grab the knife out of his dresser—of course I knew where he’d hidden it—and bring it with me when I take my sixty-second shower. I come back to the bed with a warm, wet washcloth and decide we only need to clean the important parts. After I maneuver his jumpsuit off his body and clean his deep blue erection, I toss the cloth on the floor.

“I don’t want... this,” he insists with great effort.

I lay on my side next to him. “Computer, dim the lights.” I cock my leg and sling it over his hip. This is the moment of truth. My bravado falls away and now it’s just Nova and Drayke.

I sift my fingers through his long blue-black hair and can barely see his features through my tears. “I’m not a rapist, Drayke. I’ll stop if you really want—”

“I do.”

“I’ll stop if you really want in a moment. But first I have to tell you that I love you. It might have started when you told me that bedtime story to calm my terror. That was the sweetest, kindest thing anyone’s ever done for me. Or maybe I’ve loved you since you fed me with your own hand. I’ve loved you since you went to Aeon II at your own peril just to save a male you’d never met. I’ve loved you since you’ve shown me time and time again that you would sacrifice your own happiness for me.

“I want to open the Third Gate with you. Sincerely. Not because I owe you. Not out of guilt. But because I realize that I decided a long time ago, as a little girl, that I couldn’t trust. You helped me understand that I can trust, I just needed to meet a male who earned that trust.

“I realize I’m not a little girl. I’m a big, strong, smart woman who can change. And isn’t it grand that I’ve found the best guy in the galaxy who has never been anything other than supremely trustable? And, bonus! He’s this gorgeous shade of blue. And did I mention I love him? ‘Cause I do.”

He’s silent, but he’s petting my hair, which I consider a good sign.

“Still want the knife?”

He brackets my face with his palms, gazing into my eyes as if he’s trying to read my mind.

“You don’t have to be able to read my mind, Drayke. My thoughts are on my lips. I love you and I want to do this. No, let me correct that. I’m dying to open the Third Gate with you.”

“You really want forever? With me?”

“More than anything.”

Although I was expecting him to attack me, he does the opposite. He slides off the bed, his knees hitting the floor. I hear him talking quietly to his God. My heart clenches as I realize for the millionth time he is such a good male. I try not to eavesdrop, but I hear the words “thank you” over and over.

Then he rises to his feet and dives into bed with me. We’re both on our sides facing each other; his fingers comb through my hair, then pull my face toward him. He kisses me hungrily, his tongue plundering my mouth. He bites my bottom lip, pulling it into his mouth, then licks it. He’s completely in control. I have no desire to do anything but receive.

His hands roam my shoulders, then my back, down to my ass where he squeezes the globes. His movements are fast, urgent, as if he can’t get enough of me. He presses me against his granite-hard erection, then nestles it along my slit. He pulses against me, little micro-movements forward and back. I’m already wet, his cock slides in my juices, ramping me up.

“Need to slow down,” he breathes huskily into my ear. “Want you so bad.”

He keeps his cock just where we both want it, but leans his chest away from mine and cups my breasts with his palms. He squeezes my nipples between thumbs and forefingers, then licks them. He nips, starting gently and then progressively harder until he hears me moan and feels my hips buck.

“You’re so hot, so responsive,” he croons, then rewards me by changing the pressure between my legs, his pelvis pushing against my clit. I suck in a sharp intake of air and thrust back against him to feel more weight on my sensitive bud. I grab his ass with both hands and pull him toward me even harder, until he’s at just the right angle. With the right rhythm, I come hard, grinding against him and moaning his name.

“You’re so wet, Nova. So wet for me.”

He pulls away and turns me onto my back. He sits on his knees, between my open legs, pauses a moment and we look into each other’s eyes. I’m so aroused, so ready, but he waits. His eyes pierce mine, as if he’s trying to penetrate my mind. He smiles. It’s not a half-smile or even a grin. He’s beaming at me. And he’s tearing up.

“This is the last moment we’ll be separate. The last moment in this lifetime that you’ll ever feel lonely or isolated or misunderstood. You’ll have me as a partner—forever.”

Before I can ask what that means, he places the blunt head of his cock against my wet opening. All thoughts and questions sail out of my mind as my full attention flies to that one spot on my body. My eyes close as I concentrate on the intense pleasure coursing through me.

“Open your eyes, Sweet. Look at me.”

I drag my eyes open, feeling embarrassed to look at him with all these sensual feelings swirling through me. But his gaze captures me, reassures me.

He enters me slowly, a small push in, then out again. He’s letting out a long, low moan, expressing the exquisite pleasure he’s feeling, just as I’m releasing noises from deep in the back of my throat.

The delicious thrill of being filled and expanded commands my complete attention. When he’s fully seated, he grabs my hands at my sides on the bed and entwines our fingers. I follow his gaze and see my pale fingers interwoven with his rich blue ones. And then we’re looking into each other’s eyes again.

His rhythm picks up and all the sweet feelings of moments ago are lost in the hard pounding cadence as he pistons into me. Between his pelvis rubbing my clit, and his cock hitting something fantastic inside me, I find my release quickly.

I’m descending from my pleasure-induced high and gaze up to find him looking at me intently, expectantly. Is he... disappointed?

But then he starts the rhythm again, trying a different angle, finding a different spot inside me that responds to every thrust. I fixate on this feeling until it ramps up, spiraling higher. I sink more deeply into myself so I can enjoy the exquisite pleasure arcing through me. This time when I come I feel my muscles tightening. My toes and fingers clench, spasming in complete ecstasy. I have to lie quietly for a moment to have the energy to open my eyes. When I look up I see him watching me expectantly again.

He leans over, keeping his weight on his hands; he penetrates my mouth with his tongue and begins thrusting his hips again. My mind doesn’t know what to pay attention to, the intimate movements of his tongue, or the sensuous pistoning of his hips.

My next orgasm begins at my clit, but migrates through my pelvis and then invades my whole body. It overtakes me in a roiling whirlwind of pleasure, whipping through me, pulling me deeper into bliss and release so profound I believe it touches my very soul. My jaw is clenched so tightly in pure ecstasy I’m unsure how the deep moans of satisfaction escape my mouth. I feel him increase his rhythm, and then hear the sexy, deep male grunt signifying his release.

My orgasm undulates through me for long, magnificent moments. Only this time it feels like I’m outside the solarium, my molecules scattered among the stars. As if I’m breaking apart for eternity, and then coming back together.

Later, when I finally open my eyes, everything is exactly as it had been, only completely different. And Drayke is crying. Full-on man-tears are rolling down his cheeks.

“Why are you crying, babe?”

We’re linked.

“What did you say?” I have to ask, even though I heard him perfectly, because his lips didn’t move. Am I hallucinating?

We’re linked, Sweet. Neither of us will ever be alone again.

I burrow deep into my emotions, my experience. I didn’t just hear his thoughts, I’m perceiving his feelings! I’m inside his heart. Oh my God, I can feel his love for me and it is... enormous! I’ve known he’s loved me, but this, to experience this from his viewpoint, tears burst from my eyes. I’ve never particularly liked myself, but to see and feel and experience this much love for myself breaks open something hard and cold in my heart. I feel myself expanding.

I gather the courage to see myself through his eyes. I’m beautiful. I’ll never be able to doubt that again.

Yes , he tells me, you are so beautiful. Also smart and strong and courageous. Watch this.

He shows me snippets of my fight with Dax on Bellona. My God, look at that fierce warrior woman fight for her life. Who wouldn’t admire her?

He makes me see myself through his eyes on Aeon II. Walking through unimaginable filth on his leash, yet still determined and unafraid.

I don’t want to leave this tender moment, of seeing myself through his point of view, but I force myself. Somehow I discover how to effortlessly change both of our perspectives and show him my feelings for him. Feelings I’ve kept secret not only from him, but myself.

I show him how I viewed his talented hands working on Braxxus, his tenderness when he cared for me, how tiny pieces of my trust began to grow when he told me that bedtime story, and what he looked like through my eyes when he was silhouetted in the doorway of the bathroom several nights ago, oozing sexuality. I allow him a glimpse of my physical feelings that evening as desire for him eddied through my body.

I watch as the corners of his mouth lift into a small, sly grin, then a happy smile, and then a blatant sensual invitation.

We reach for each other at the same time and I realize his cock has never retreated from the clutch of my body. I feel him grow hard inside me. He begins the slowest strokes imaginable. Somehow I learn the trick to toggle back and forth between his physical sensations and mine. So this is what it feels like to penetrate! And to feel his surprise when he discovers for the first time the experience of being entered and filled through my point of view.

This consummation is almost in slow-motion as we drink in the experience of sex and loving and sharing from both our consciousnesses. When we orgasm together we truly are combining souls.

This is the bond, the Dacian bond. Because you’re human I didn’t know if it would be possible. I didn’t warn you because I didn’t want to get your hopes up.

This is what I’ve been running from since I met you?

Yes.

I would appreciate it if you never tell me what an idiot I am for avoiding this. It’s bliss!

I’d never call you an idiot, Sweet. You didn’t know what you were running from.

Will this go away? Will it fade?

No, we’re bonded. Forever and ever. That’s what I promised.

And there are no secrets?

Of course there are. We just have to figure out how to use the veil technique. Couples learn how. Otherwise, they would never be able to plan any fabulous birthday surprises. You’re okay? You’re okay with the bond? Being bonded to a blue sex maniac?

I’m about to tell him he’s not a sex maniac when a blast of his lust hits me full on. And then I get an entire photo album of very interesting ideas he has in mind for us: some in the bedroom, some in the shower, some in the solarium requiring a few intriguing props.

You are a blue sex maniac! What a surprise! I never expected my proper doctor Drayke to have such titillating thoughts.

He lobs about twenty more images at me, each more lusty and inventive than the last. And the self-satisfied smirk on his face is priceless.

Looks like we’ll need forever to fulfill all the pent-up fantasies you’ve been accumulating. I tell him.

See? Forever doesn’t sound so bad now, does it?