Page 70 of Everything After (Everything Trilogy)

ALFIE

The first thing I noticed when Lily met with her bandmates was how Digs and Shawn greeted her warmly, as usual.

Lennie, on the other hand, was purely business, and Cody avoided her like the plague.

It appeared like both Lily and I had ruffled the feathers of some of the usually tight-knit bandmates, who appeared on their best behavior.

Conversation between Lennie and Lily was notably strained, with Lennie only addressing her to impart his instructions for the performance ahead.

Lily matched this stilted behavior when she’d merely nodded to acknowledge this before she’d walked away once he’d finished talking. When she glanced toward me following their interaction there was uncertainty in her eyes, until I held up my fist as a sign of solidarity, which made her smile.

I’d promised not to get involved, but in my view, Lennie was walking a thin line.

As the only female artist in a rock band, which had a predominately male following, Lily had many more fans than Lennie.

Therefore, I figured if he wasn’t careful, his immature reaction to Lily becoming a mom might even threaten his popularity in the band.

After a quick sound check, we were all ushered into the Green Room to wait for the interviews to be started. They were informed their segment on the show was still about fifteen minutes away.

“How are you feeling?” Digs asked when he sat down next to Lily.

“Good. Better now that I had a nap on the way over here,” she replied, smiling.

“I’m a bit beat, since I didn’t get much sleep last night,” he muttered, feeling sorry for himself.

“You expect us to feel sorry for you? Even two doors down from you did nothing to stem the noise I heard coming from your room. Don’t bring that woman again unless you pack a ball gag,” Shawn scolded.

Lily rolled her eyes. “TMI, guys,” she mumbled, biting back a grin.

“Yeah, Digs, it most definitely was TMI,” Shawn agreed.

Cody was the last to enter the green room.

He sat on the edge of a couch furthest away from Lily, texting on his phone.

Lily’s eyes narrowed as she glanced over at him, then her gaze darted to mine.

She looked nervous and I remembered that she usually relied on Cody to help her to cope with her stage fright.

“Baby, you can do this. It’s one song. You’ve got this, and I’m right here cheering you on,” I said in support.

Lily nodded, but the way she instantly over-scrutinized the black slacks she wore, told me she had started to spiral into that self-doubt headspace she always had right before a performance.

“Five minutes, guys,” the runner said when she poked her head into the room. “Alfie do you want to come with me, and I’ll show you where you can watch the band.”

“Up,” I said, pulling my wife to her feet.

“What?” she said, sounding alarmed.

“No. What’re you doing?” Lennie demanded, rising to his feet.

“She’ll catch up with you in a minute,” I muttered, not taking no for an answer.

“Just a sec,” I told the runner.

“What are you doing?” Lily hissed in a stage whisper, reluctantly walking with me toward the set.

“Showing you that you no longer need Cody as a crutch. You are a brilliant musician that more than holds their own in that band. You have nothing to be nervous of. I’ll be right here,” I said, pointing to the chair the runner had stopped beside.

“And you’ll be there,” I explained, pointing to stage set about ten feet in front of me.

“Just sing to me.” I took her head between my hands and sighed.

“Lily, look at me. We don’t need anyone else.

It’s just you and me, baby,” I said, seeing her bandmates file out of the green room over her shoulder.

“You’ve got this because we’ve got each other. Love is all we need to face the world.”

“You’re right,” she said, suddenly snapping her spine upright. “One song…”

“That’s it, baby. Now go out there and slay them,” I ordered.

Lily turned, walked straight past Cody onto the set, and adjusted her mic. Once she’d done this, her nervous eyes sought mine again. I blew her a kiss, then she let out a deep, calming sigh and nodded. Seconds later we heard Jimmy introduce the band.

I’d been privileged to have gotten a seat just off-set, to watch XrAid perform on the talk show, and it was exactly what Lily had needed to demonstrate to her, that she could go out there under her own steam.

The song they sang was the new one I’d later learned they’d been singing, when they were cutting their album.

Only now, even though Lily put her heart and soul into her performance, the impact wasn’t the same, due to the lack of physical contact between them.

It was in stark contrast to the cozy scene I’d witnessed back in the recording studio.

I’ll admit their performance fell short of the chemistry I’d witnessed between them over the years, but it was one, as a husband, I was far more comfortable with.

As usual, my wife sang like an angel, looked like one too in the soft, loose-flowing silk top that she wore. She had chosen her outfit with care, not wanting to draw attention to the definite bump in her lower belly now.

However, I didn’t want to tell her that she didn’t quite pull that off, since there were times during her song where the silk picked up static and had clung to the fabric of the pants that she wore beneath it.

I could not have cared one way or another because I was stoked about her condition, and I couldn’t wait to tell the world she was having my child.

Personally, I was more interested in how Cody would behave as it was the first time they had performed together since we’d had our little chat. And it appeared he had heeded my warning that he had to back off.

The show was barely finished before Lily made her excuses to leave, citing wanting to see Jack and Mya back in Miami before they flew back to the UK.

“You did great, baby,” I told Lily once we settled back on my plane and taxied down the runway. “All these years and you finally dealt with your stage fright alone.”

“I wasn’t alone. I saw pure belief in me shine from your eyes. That’s what got me out there tonight.”

“I disagree. You just needed something to break the habit of relying on someone else.”

“Relying on Cody you mean,” she said, pouting. Tears brimmed in her eyes.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked as I reached over and held her hand.

“It-it’s not the same,” she mumbled, her tone shaky. Her bottom lip quivered like she might cry.

“What isn’t?”

“Being with them.”

“Being with them? I don’t know what you mean,” I said.

“The banter’s gone. Everyone is on their best behavior or not talking at all. There’s a rift a mile wide between us bandmates when we’re off-stage now and it’s all my fault.”

“Your fault? That you’re pregnant and your bandmate is acting like a jealous five-year-old that’s not winning at some board game? Or do you mean Cody? That he’s not pawing you anymore?”

“Stop that,” she snapped. She pulled her hand out of mine.

I sat back in my seat and stared her down. “Stop what? Calling them out for taking advantage of you or coercing you into doing what they want?”

“You keep telling me how valuable I am to the band. That’s obviously not how Lennie sees it.”

“Lennie’s being an ass. He’s had it all his own way up to now.”

“He’s been amazing to me.”

“Been, past tense. The guy needs to find his new normal, and it better have respect for you and your changing circumstances as part of that.”

Lily sighed. “I just want things to be the way they were.”

“What? Cody pawing you and you making all the concessions?”

“Stop it. Digs and Shawn are fine… they all were until—”

“Until I got fed up being treated like an interloper in their cozy world? Until you got pregnant? Until I told Cody to stop pawing what’s mine?” I abruptly asked, cutting off any defense of her bandmates she might have made.

“This again? I did what you asked me to do. Cody did what you asked of him. Lennie—”

“So, it’s my fault your band treated you like shit under the guise of adoring you?”

“You aren’t letting me finish what I want to say, so I think we need to stop talking about this now,” she muttered.

“I think we should never stop talking about this until it’s resolved one way or another,” I countered.

“What would it take to resolve it in your eyes? Me leaving the band?”

“I never said that.”

“But you think I want you to say that, right?” she said. “Jesus, Alfie, if it’s not Cody or Lennie pissing you off… it’s Jack. Are there any men in my life you don’t have a problem with?”

“Jack’s… Jack. He’s not part of the equation that’s disrespecting you.”

“How about you? Are you respecting me right now?”

“Yes, I am, because I won’t sit back and watch you being treated like shit when you deserve so much more. You might not believe me but I’m fighting for your rightful place in that band. Step back, see how many gigs they get with you gone.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Fuck… you’re right. We can’t talk about this because it makes my blood boil.”

“Fine,” she muttered. Lily wriggled in her seat to get more comfortable, put her earbuds in, and set something on a phone app. Closing her eyes, she effectively shut me out of her world.

My heart almost burst out of my chest in frustration when I saw her close me out like that. But she looked exhausted, and I figured me fanning the flames of something so raw might only make things worse, so I kept the rest of my thoughts on the matter to myself.

Long after she’d fallen asleep, I still seethed because we’d had yet another argument where she’d defended someone who had made her feel less than all that she was in the first place.