Page 19 of Everything After (Everything Trilogy)
ALFIE
Although I had lain in bed all night, I hadn’t slept a wink. Fear warred with my conscience about how I had left Lily the day before. I hated how much I’d distressed her to the point where I’d written several text messages to her during the night, but I’d deleted them again before I’d pressed send.
No matter what I’d done, my heart was still hers, and my mind had been constantly concerned by thoughts that I’d hurt her.
I kept asking myself if I was ready for the consequences of my actions, and the answer was no. Then I asked myself if I could continue to live as I’d been doing for years, and my answer was also no.
A dull ache in my stomach was a minor distraction from the heaviness in my chest as I gave up on sleep and climbed out of bed.
I picked up my cell phone to check for text messages from Lily, and frowned, upset when I found there was none.
I padded to the bathroom and turned on the shower before I studied my face in the mirror. My bloodshot eyes, and the too long to be sexy stubble on my face made me look as haggard as I felt. Moving away, I grabbed a towel from the closet and stepped under the warm soothing jets.
I stood closed-eyed and lost in my thoughts until I heard a small yelp in the doorway.
“Sorry, Alfie, I didn’t know you were here. There’s no car outside… and broken glass all over the living room floor. I thought you were a burglar,” I heard my Scottish housekeeper’s strong accent softly squeak out through the crack in the door.
I chuckled. “Ah, sorry, Morag. I’d like to say the glass was an accident, but it wasn’t. I should have let you know I was here. Leave the glass, I’ll clean it up.”
“No, it’s no bother,” she argued, then added, “it’s not like you to stay over.”
“I know,” I agreed but didn’t explain why I was there.
“Will you be staying long? I mean, do you want me to get some extra provisions in for you?”
Was I?
“I’m not sure. Don’t worry, Oscar can get me anything I need, and if I’m staying for any length of time, I’ll make sure to let you know.”
“I know it’s none of my business but is everything okay?”
“No… no it isn’t, but I’ll be fine.”
“Well, if there’s anything I can do…” she trailed off.
“You could start by closing the door and letting me finish my shower,” I suggested playfully, so as not to make her feel worse.
“Ah, yep, I’ll do that,” she muttered and swiftly closed the door.
As I began showering again, the doorbell rang, and I instinctively knew it was Oscar.
Stepping out of the shower, I quickly dried myself, pulled a clean T- shirt and jeans from my weekend bag, dressed and headed downstairs.
“Morning, boss. Where are we?” Oscar questioned. He glanced around the kitchen with a puzzled look on his face.
“This is the house my parents left me.”
“Cool. Were you too smashed last night to make it back to the island?”
“I wasn’t drinking. And Lily and I are taking a break,” I said. Opening the fridge door, I pulled some orange juice out and drank it from the carton.
“A break? I thought she was coming back yesterday.”
I wiped my mouth as a pang of hurt rested inside my chest at the thought of how excited I’d initially been to see her. “She did… but we argued, and I left. We’re on a break.”
Oscar eyed me with caution. “Her idea?”
“That I leave? Why would you say that?”
“You’re nuts about the girl,” he replied, scowling like he was confused.
I sighed. “I am, but I’m beginning to think that’s been part of the problem.”
“Not my business, sorry for misspeaking,” he said, holding up a hand to apologize.
“Good apology,” I remarked, replacing the orange juice and slamming the fridge door closed a little too hard.
“What now?” he asked as a text arrived from Jack.
Jack: I’m coming to see you. Where are you staying?
“Now, I need a distraction. Somewhere quiet, where I can breathe, and I don’t get treated like a show pony in public,” I said quickly, dismissing Jack’s text and shoving my cell phone into my jeans pocket.
Oscar scratched the dark brown scruff on his strong jaw and slowly nodded.
“I took my girl to a campsite up in the Equality State?” His response sounded like a suggestion and a question at the same time.
“Wyoming?” I questioned.
“Plenty of scenery and three or four people every few miles.”
“Campsite? I don’t know if I’m up for tents and living rough after months on tour,” I muttered quietly, but all the while considering it a possibility.
“Nah, we could fly up there and hire a big-assed Winnebago. They have a nice comfy living space, and every amenity you would need.”
“Sold. Let’s make it happen. It’ll do me good to go off-grid for a while. It might give Lily a bigger opportunity to think on what she’s missing and give me less chance of caving and begging her to take me back.”