Page 24 of Everything After (Everything Trilogy)
LILY
I was making a sandwich when my cell phone rang. My heart lurched then sank when I saw that it wasn’t Alfie calling, but my bandmate Lennie instead.
“Hey,” I said flatly.
“Hey yourself. Are you okay?”
Am I? Not at all. “Yeah. What’s up?”
“Rick’s down in South Beach with me. Do you and Alfie want to hang with us?” he asked, sounding hopeful.
“Alfie’s not here right now,” I said, trying to sound casual about it.
“No? I thought you two were joined at the hip when he wasn’t working.”
I chuckled, but it sounded hollow. “Mostly, but not today, he needed to take care of something,” I said in vague terms.
“Then do you want to hang?”
“She’s hanging,” Rick muttered. “Are you coming to us or are we coming to you?” Rick asked, having obviously taken Lennie’s cell phone from him.
“To be honest, I don’t feel like socializing,” I argued.
“Welcome to my world,” Rick agreed. “To be honest, I fucking hate people… well not all, just most of them.”
“And I thought you were a social butterfly,” I quipped, smiling despite my low mood.
“Come on, Lily. I don’t know when the next time I’ll be around. Tell you what, we’ll come to you. We’ll pick up some Pizza and Calzone, you’ve still got plenty of booze in that big ol’ mansion of yours, right?” he insisted.
I’d wanted to say no, but with Rick that would have been pointless, he’d arrive anyway.
“Yeah, there’s booze,” I conceded with a note of resignation in my tone.
“Great, and best turn down a bed, we’ll likely get rat-assed drunk and end up staying the night. I don’t do well with a belly full of alcohol and boats on the water,” Rick muttered.
“So can I talk now?” I heard Lennie ask.
Rick chuckled. “Sorry, darlin’, have at it.”
I heard the cell being passed back then Lennie huffed out a breath. “See what I have to tolerate?”
“You love his dominating ways,” I countered.
“Who doesn’t like a bit of dominating in the right circumstances?” Lennie shot back, chuckling.
“Okay, I’ll see you later… what time?”
“Give us an hour or two,” Lennie replied.
Right after they’d cut the call my cell phone rang again. I answered without looking, figuring Lennie had forgotten to say something.
“What?” I asked, sounding annoyed.
“Hey,” Alfie muttered quietly. Despite all the hurt from what we were going through, hearing him say that one word set my body alight. After my initial thrilled reaction, the same crushing weight I’d had on my chest since the moment he’d left, returned.
“Hi,” I muttered back, knowing I had so much to say but not knowing where to start. A rush of thoughts swamped me at once, and I became so overwhelmed that I might say the wrong thing that my brain completely emptied.
“Are you ready to talk?” he asked, like he was testing the water with me.
“I’ve been ready and waiting since you walked out. You’re the one who left,” I countered.
“I did,” he agreed. His flat, emotionless response made my chest tighten in frustration. My shoulders automatically hunched as I stared down at the cold cuts on the counter while my appetite shriveled to nothing.
“So, what are you suggesting?” I asked, sounding measured despite the uncertainty of the moment. My heart pounded because I had a sudden thought that he might want to talk, to tell me we were over, and he wanted a divorce.
“Maybe dinner this evening?” he suggested.
“Lennie and Rick are coming over. I’ll call and see if I can cancel.”
“No, I wouldn’t want to put you to any trouble if you’ve already made arrangements.” He sounded condescending in his tone.
“Alfie, us talking is far more important than their visit. It wasn’t a planned visit. They’re just dropping in on the fly.”
“Good to know you think we’re important now. Do they know about us?” Alfie’s pointed reply took me back and a pang of shock registered in my heart.
I shook my head even though he couldn’t see me. “No, the only people that know we’re not together is Elle, Drew and Jack.”
“Right. So, you didn’t tell your bandmates? Interesting.”
“What’s interesting about it? I haven’t spoken to any of them.” Well, I had—to Lennie, but that was only today about their visit.
“You went to the band barbecue, didn’t you?” he asked.
“No, I was sick and upset,” I mumbled.
“Bet Cody missed you,” he muttered in a tone laced with sarcasm.
“Stop it. Stop playing games. I can’t help how someone else feels about me. All you need to know is that I don’t and will never feel the same as he does. I love you, for all the good that’s doing me right now,” I argued.
“It’s not supposed to be doing you good, Lily, it’s supposed to be making you think.”
“I. Have. Been. Thinking. Fuck, I’ve done nothing but think.”
“That’s a start. Want to share those thoughts?” he probed.
“Can we not do this over the phone?” I pleaded, slowly placing the cold cuts back in the plastic container.
“I hadn’t intended to. Hence, my dinner invitation—but you’re busy.”
“Don’t do that,” I snapped. “I said, I’d cancel them.”
“From my point of view, had it been me in your position, I wouldn’t even have mentioned prior plans, I’d have said when and where?” Alfie chastised.
His thorny comment took the wind out of me because he was right. That’s exactly how I should have responded.