Page 51 of Everything After (Everything Trilogy)

LILY

Sharing our news brought an air of excitement to our party.

“First dibs on being this baby’s godfather,” Jack shouted, his tone insistent.

“Godmother,” Holly seconded and jutted a smug chin toward Elle.

Elle gave Holly an indignant glare and stared back at me with a look that said if I chose Holly over her there would be a murder in our near future.

“I think Alfie will want to ask Layla and James to take those titles,” I suggested diplomatically, even though Alfie and I were godparents to Jack and Elle’s kids. I figured they assumed we’d return the favor.

“Ah, but the kid can have more than one set of godparents,” Holly and Jack insisted in unison.

“We’ll see,” I said, appeasing everyone with a smile. “Let’s just get Junior here safely before we worry about anything else.

My words appeared to defuse the situation, and I began to relax since I’d been given more hugs and kind words in the past ten minutes than I’d had in the past six months.

However, Lennie had given me cause for concern because he’d appeared uncharacteristically subdued by my news. In fact, when he still hadn’t come over to see me, I began to dread what he was thinking.

“May I have a private word?” I asked, touching his upper arm to gain his attention while he listened to a conversation between Rick and a few of Rick’s bandmates.

My heart faltered when my request was met with a less than enthusiastic bandmate, who raised a brow and twisted his lips like he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear what I wanted to say.

“Give me a minute,” he said before he turned his back on me, effectively leaving me standing behind him. I couldn’t mistake his dismissive tone, and all the years I’d known him, Lennie had never made me feel so insignificant.

For a moment I stood frozen, too dumbfounded to move.

Then I almost walked away, except for Rick’s last-minute arm around my shoulder that pulled me alongside him.

“Congrats again, sweetheart,” he mumbled quietly, like he’d guessed Lennie’s snub had affected me.

He never commented to that effect, but I caught him carefully watching me while the conversation around us continued.

A lump grew in my throat, and I swallowed back tears while I tried to stand my ground.

“Lily?” My name sounded like a question, but one I guessed he already knew the answer to as his compassion-filled eyes ticked over my face.

The way his gaze switched from me toward Lennie, I believed he also thought the way Lennie had dealt with me was harsh.

Not harsh enough though for Rick to admonish him.

I choked, knowing he expected me to say something, instead I shook my head, swallowed down the rough knot that had formed in my throat and slid back out of his grasp. “Tell Lennie to come and find me when he’s free,” I mumbled, then headed toward the nearest restroom.

As I stepped into the hallway Alfie was walking back.

Initially he flashed his lopsided smile that usually made me go weak at the knees.

However, when he realized I was upset, his expression quickly changed to a dark, menacing scowl.

“Baby, what the fuck’s happened?” he asked, his breathing immediately more labored than his usual pace.

“I-It’s probably just hormones making me sensitive,” I argued, praying that I’d overreacted to Lennie’s response.

“What happened?” he asked again, his concerned eyes seared my face with his warm palm on my cheek.

“Like I said, it’s probably just me overreacting,” I muttered weakly.

Alfie pulled my head against his chest and wrapped his strong arms around me.

“Tell me anyway,” he insisted.

“It’s Lennie. I don’t think he’s happy about my condition,” I said quietly into his shirt.

“Fuck Lennie. Those bandmates of yours don’t fucking own you. Lennie’s got his life how he wants it. He should be happy for us.”

“That’s what I thought too, but I don’t think he is. I think he shut me down just now when I tried to speak to him about it.”

“Aw, baby, I’m sure you’re reading too much into this. Lennie’s always been supportive of you, protective even. Cody on the other hand…”

“Can we just not do the Cody thing today?” I pleaded, stiffening and leaning back from his arms.

“Too late, I already did it,” Alfie muttered, placing my head back on his chest and resting his chin on it.

“You what?” I asked, pulling away more abruptly and stepping back from him. I let out a heavy sigh. “Alfie!”

Alfie reached out and caught my waist again. “Don’t get your panties in a wad. I just reminded him that now you’re carrying my baby it isn’t appropriate for him to lay his hands all over you, whether on stage performing, or anywhere else.”

“Are you trying to drive a wedge between me and my bandmates?” I muttered, hurt that he’d chosen today to get into it again with Cody.

“Fuck, Lily. Wake up. Your bandmates need to realize you’re not just Lily Parnell, XrAid’s co-lead singer.

You’re Mrs. fucking Black too. What I’m doing is making your position with Lennie, Cody, Shawn and Digs crystal clear.

You’re a member of the band because you’re a talented artist, not because you’re a piece of ditsy eye-candy to enhance the band’s image or fan demographics.

No one paws Lennie, Digs or Shawn… and you certainly don’t feel up Cody,” he said, hugging me close again.

“I know, but I went into that band—”

“Because their female co-lead singer left. Not because of how you looked or what you could do for their image. You’re there because you are a kick-ass musician.

Not all guys are misogynists, Lily, and I certainly didn’t think that of your bandmates before.

You’ve earned your spot in the band, and you also deserve the same respect and personal space as the rest of them, especially from Cody,” he stated, squeezing me possessively.

“Why are we focusing on Cody again? It was Lennie who upset me,” I reminded him, while I soothed my cheek against his bare chest again.

“Give Lennie time. He hasn’t spoken to you at all yet, right? I was watching,” Alfie replied.

I huffed. “Please…”

“Alright. What did Lennie say or do that upset you?”

“That’s just it, he said nothing,” I muttered, feeling calmer again as I stood with his strong arms around me, my cheek skin-to-skin with his warm body, and listened to his slow, steady heartbeat.

“Am I missing something here? He said nothing and that’s upset you?” he asked puzzled.

I inhaled deeply to breathe him in. My eyes fluttered closed while I took a long moment to enjoy his scent all around me.

“Lily?” he prompted.

“Hm,” I muttered, distracted then remembered his question.

“I asked to speak to him when he didn’t come to congratulate me properly.

He snubbed me while he listened to one of Rick’s bandmate’s stories.

Even Rick noticed it was rude and tried to console me by including me in their circle, but the longer I stood there, the more upset I became. ”

Alfie’s breathing turned ragged when the adrenaline I imagined flowed through him stiffened his body. “What a prick,” he ground out as he stepped away from me. “Come on, let’s sort this out,” he muttered, grabbed my hand and led me back toward our guests.

As he tugged me along, fear coursed through my veins as to what the outcome might be.

The last thing I needed was another confrontation between Alfie and one of my bandmates in front of our friends.

And as we entered the room, Rick immediately broke away from his group, strode over toward Alfie and placed a palm on Alfie’s chest.

“Whoa there,” Rick ordered, in a low, no-nonsense tone.

“Whoa? What the fuck do you think I am, a cart horse?” Alfie argued, his tone menacing. Alfie shifted his head and glanced past Rick to the group that included Lennie. All conversation had stopped, and everyone’s focus was on Rick, Alfie and me.

“No, but I need you to chill,” Rick reasoned, his tone stern as he nodded in my direction.

Alfie glanced at me and released a huffed breath, but he kept his temper in check. “My beef isn’t with you, Rick. It’s him that I’m after,” Alfie muttered, nodding at Lennie.

Lennie had glanced over his shoulder, then he turned and sauntered over toward us.

Alfie’s gaze bored holes into Lennie. “Did you ignore my wife a few minutes ago?”

“No, I asked her to wait.” Which was true, he had. But it wasn’t what he said, but how he’d snubbed me in front of everyone that had been my issue.

“You fell just short of outright dismissing her because you were pissed,” Rick muttered, scowling at his partner. “Now, I think we should take this somewhere quieter, unless Lily and Lennie want to do this on their own.”

“Quieter,” Alfie stated protectively, reluctant to let me deal with Lennie alone.

“On our own, and in private,” I countered.

Alfie flashed me a warning look that I took as he wanted to be there. And although I’d accepted that without my husband’s intervention, I might still have been out in the hallway, I knew I had to fight this battle alone.

Spinning on my heel, I headed down the hallway to the music room, knowing instinctively that Lennie would follow. Once in there, I pulled out a chair, sat down and took a few deep calming breaths.

“You waited three months to tell us,” Lennie blurted the moment he came into the music room, before he’d even closed the door behind him.

“Almost six weeks before I knew myself, so maybe six weeks,” I corrected, angry that he had adopted such a hostile tone with me.

“So, you’ve known you’re expecting for weeks and still kept your mouth shut while I made band plans?”

“You made plans?” I repeated, sounding indignant by his attack. “I’m glad someone did,” I countered. “For your information, Lennie, this is an accidental pregnancy.”

“But Alfie’s…”

“I know what you’re going to say, and yes, Alfie’s wanted kids for years,” I said, anticipating what I believed he might say next.

“You must know by now how seriously I take my career. To be frank, I was as blindsided by this as you are, and as excited by the news as you appear to be. But here we are,” I reminded him as I held my hands out for him to look at me.

“Although, you’re right, I’ve had some time to digest how this could be for Alfie and me now. ”

“Which is?”

“I’m growing in confidence that I can be a mom and still have my career.”

“And what does Alfie have to say about that?”

“Are you asking me this because I’m a woman? If so, I never had you down as a misogynist, Lennie. Do you think I should be barefoot and pregnant, staying home, by the kitchen sink?” I fumed. “Do you think anyone will consider how a child will affect Alfie’s career?”

“That’s not what I meant. It’s just that we have a work-heavy schedule this year, and now you’re hitting me with a secret pregnancy.”

“Hitting you?” I scoffed. “Do you think I don’t know this?

Like I said, this wasn’t planned, nor did I intend to keep this baby a secret.

I was waiting until I was sure my pregnancy was on more of a sure footing.

” I placed a protective hand over my still flat belly.

“To be honest, of everyone, I’m most disappointed in your reaction.

It’s gutted me because I thought you would be the one member of the band who would have rallied to support me. ”

“I do support you,” he said quickly, placing a hand on my forearm.

“Is that so? Then why are we having a sidebar conversation when everyone else has been open in their excitement for us? Even now, I’m sensing a dozen questions buzzing around inside your head like, ‘How can you tour with a baby?’, ‘How many interruptions will there be while I tend to my child’, or ‘What happens if the kid gets sick and needs my attention?’ Not to mention ones around traveling, childcare and band bonding events on nights out. Am I right?”

He shrugged. “Well, I hadn’t gotten that far into my thought processes, but those are all valid concerns.”

“Then you needn’t worry because Alfie’s going to be the main caregiver… for the next couple of years at least, we think. Until then, I still have six months to figure shit out… oh and then I’ll be taking maternity leave.”

My heart pounded, part in temper and part with a sense of power that I’d stuck up for myself. Alfie was right when he stated I needed to start as I meant to go on. Having a baby was a natural event in most couples’ lives and Lennie and the rest of the band needed to accept that.

“Now, unless there’s anything else you’d like to discuss, I have guests to attend to,” I said to him, sounding unusually curt.

Lennie shook his head. “No… look, I’m sorry,” he started, but I held up my hand.

“Don’t… I don’t need an empty apology. However, you might try putting yourself in my situation.

It’s something that I didn’t expect, something I can’t and now don’t want to change.

So perhaps you could consider a little more what my situation means for me, and less about how it affects you,” I suggested as I stood, turned, stepped past him and opened the door.

“I love you and the guys in the band, Lennie. But if the choice is between my life with Alfie and this baby, or you and the band, I wouldn’t need to think very carefully. ”

Without glancing back at him again, I strode out the door with my heart pounding and an ache in my chest, because I knew by making that statement, I was risking it all.

However once said, a sense of relief washed over me because I realized, I didn’t care what the future held with the band as much as I cared about Alfie and our unborn baby.