Page 61 of Everything After (Everything Trilogy)

LILY

I’d had butterflies in my belly the whole journey to the restaurant in Miami where Holly and Saffy were waiting.

For most of the night I’d been unable to sleep while points I wanted to raise whirred around in my head.

I figured if I lost my cool and ranted at her it would hurt Holly since she was the peacemaker in all of this.

Then I asked myself, who am I doing this for? Certainly not to clear Saffy’s conscience that’s for sure. Therefore, as my friendship with Holly meant more to me than anything, I had agreed to do this for her, and not for me.

The way I saw it was that I’d had my wedding, and since Holly wanted both of us in her wedding party, I had no choice in the matter but to play nice.

“Hi, Ms. Parnell, would you kindly follow me?” the hostess asked as I entered the restaurant. Even after all these years of being famous, it still freaked me out when people I’d never seen before called me by my name.

Holly had booked a discreet table at Queen Restaurant, an exclusive converted Art Deco cinema, now an elegant dining establishment situated in fashionable Washington Avenue, South Beach.

The hostess led me up a small flight of stairs and when I saw that Holly was sitting alone in that section of the restaurant, panic rose in my chest.

My initial thought was that Saffy’d chickened out at the last moment, and I was glad a small partition gave us privacy from the main dining floor because I figured there would be a few choice words to say once I sat down.

Holly stood, kissed my cheeks. “Come, sit,” she ordered, gesturing toward the seat next to her. “Saffy’s just popped to the restroom. I must warn you, she’s nervous.”

Despite my previous cocktail of emotions that wavered between a longing to see Saffy again and wanting to strangle her for abandoning me in Florida with Holly, relief flooded through me that she’d turned up. “Ah, there she is,” Holly informed me.

I turned to look behind me and everything stopped. I didn’t breathe until my fingers and lips began to tingle, then I took in a gulp of air and let out a gasp. My reaction even took me by surprise.

In my mind, I remembered the youthful pretty girl, the boho-type with her long, flowing golden hair and her hippy vibe.

Gone was the vibrant blue eyes that captivated mine and everyone else’s attention, they were now dull, hooded and her face had had too much exposure from the sun.

Dark freckles stretched widely across her face, mainly on her cheeks, nose, forehead, and even some on her chin.

“Hi, Lily.” She looked nervously from me to our mutual friend for support.

“Shall we sit down. I need something to drink. I felt a bit nauseous in the car, and I need some sugar,” I said, unsure how to start a conversation.

Saffy sat on the other side of Holly, making it even more obvious that Holly intended to play the peacekeeper should our meeting get out of hand. My heart pounded in anticipation of the opportunity to vent my grievances toward Saffy that had festered in my mind for years.

Holly waved a server over. I asked for a glass of sparkling elderflower while the two women ordered cocktails.

“Congratulations on your pregnancy,” Saffy remarked, and flashed me a nervous smile.

“Thanks,” I said, taken aback that my pregnancy should be the focal point of conversation after more than a decade.

An awkward silence ensued at the table then Holly said, “So…”

“Look, I’m just going to say what I need to get off my chest,” I blurted when my anger had gotten the better of me. “Saffy, I was appalled that you brought me all the way to Florida and deserted me within months.”

“I’ve always felt bad about that,” she muttered, avoiding my gaze to toy with her napkin.

“And that explanation is supposed to make me feel better? I delayed going to university to make our plan happen for you. By leaving me to fend for myself, it was clear that I didn’t matter to you.”

“You meant a lot,” she mumbled. She stole another glance toward me, but when I stared back, she couldn’t hold my gaze and looked back down at her napkin. I couldn’t decide whether her action meant that she was ashamed, or she wasn’t being honest with me.

“Really? You mean I did until you decided to leave, then I didn’t? Even afterward, you never once reached out to apologize for your selfish action.”

“I did try to contact you through your record company a couple of years ago,” she quickly argued. I was surprised by that because if she did, no one ever passed that message on. Then again, how could I trust she was telling the truth?

“If you did, no one told me about that. Still there had been many years prior to that when you left me wondering why I’d even been friends with someone who had so little regard for me.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled again.

“Are you really? Let’s face it, we’re both here today because you mean something to Holly. She deserves that we set our differences aside for her. This woman here has proven herself to be the friend I thought you were, so we should both thank you for the introduction.”

Holly placed a hand over mine and looked horrified.

I guessed she thought my personal attack on Saffy was over the top, but I’d given up my life in London, and left all my friends behind to commit to the plan we made.

Florida would not have been my first choice to study music, but I made that concession because she wanted to study marine biology.

Emotionally, those two years were highly charged, and I made some horrific mistakes.

I’m honest, I’d never felt so alone. Living in a strange country is far different than being a tourist, and Saffy hadn’t given a thought about me when she left.

Yes, I had Holly, but her nursing school schedule was heavy due to her class and hospital clinics.

Saffy glanced up with tears in her eyes and for the first time I believed she understood the impact her selfish behavior had on me at the time.

“You’re right. I should have spoken up before you moved to Florida.

I was ashamed that I’d begun a relationship with a married man.

I thought once I’d moved, and college life had begun, that I’d have been able to put that affair behind me.

At the time, I figured he’d never leave his wife…

not that I knew he was married when our relationship began.

I was already in love by the time I found out.

When I left Oklahoma, I truly believed we were over. ”

“You’re a home wrecker, Saffy,” I mumbled. “No matter how it turned out, someone suffered because of you and your partner’s actions.”

“Grant wasn’t in a happy marriage. His wife had several affairs in their three-year marriage before he met me. Neither of us were looking to fall in love. I was focused on coming to Florida and he thought he’d hook up with me to get back at his wife for the way she’d treated him.”

“So you were supposed to be a revenge hookup and instead you fell in love?” I asked.

“Yeah. Lily, I really am sorry. I was young, and stupid… and you’re right, it was selfish of me.

Love makes us do crazy things. I asked Grant to move to Miami and when he couldn’t make that happen, I just couldn’t bear to think of us living apart for three or four years.

If I’m honest, I thought I would lose him, and… ”

“So you chose and lost me instead?” I knew I sounded harsh, but it was the truth.

Saffy broke eye contact with me again and looked back to her hands. She began twisting her wedding ring on her finger and I continued to stare at her.

“Saffy knows what she did to you was wrong,” Holly interrupted. “And believe me, I roasted her for how she treated you. But you have Alfie, and you said yourself, you wouldn’t have the life you have now if you hadn’t come to Miami.”

“That’s true. In some perverse way, I should thank you for making me come to the US. I can forgive you for the sake of Holly, but we’ll never be close friends again. Not like we were.”

“That’s more than I’d hoped for,” Saffy replied.

“Then we’ll put the past behind us and move forward together to make sure that Holly’s surrounded by people who have her happiness at heart during her big day.”

“Thanks, Lily. I’m grateful that you can do that,” Saffy said with her hand over her heart.

“Alright, let’s get something to eat, and then I need to get back. Alfie’s got some guests he hasn’t seen for a long time at the house for the afternoon, and I’d like to go home to see them.”

With our disagreement behind us, we both put Holly first and for the rest of the lunch we all focused on her plans for her wedding and what our roles during the big day would be.