Page 6 of Everything After (Everything Trilogy)

ALFIE

SIX WEEKS LATER

Relief washed over me the second my plane touched down on home soil. The Florida sunshine and the ninety-degree heat hadn’t let me down either.

Five long weeks apart had felt like five months without Lily. I’m not sure whether it had been because I knew we were winding down or what, but the only time I’d felt remotely centered had been during our set, up on stage.

The tour had gone off without incident and even though I’d personally felt we’d given lackluster musical performances, the reviews had been great, and our fans had raved about us long after we’d moved on to the next gig.

Sliding into the back seat of my ride, I had Oscar, take me to the helipad.

There I had a discussion with the maintenance crew about my newest toy.

After checking that it was in tiptop condition, I checked the time and realized I still had time to kill.

Too little of it, to make it home for any length of time.

But too much to spend hanging around the airport.

Something I’d planned for later that month came to mind, and when I realized what day it was, I believed right then was the right time to act on it. So, I instructed Oscar to take me on a short trip that would link me to my past.

The visit I was making had been a long time coming, and the moment we’d turned into the street, my emotional bond to the place made my chest tighten. A wave of loss brought a lump to my throat when I eyed the house that had been like a second home to me.

“Oh. My. God. Alfie Black! What are you doing here?”

The gasp of surprise and the stunned, wide-eyed look of disbelief on the pretty woman’s face, brought an instant warm smile to my lips.

My heartbeat raced the moment I’d set eyes on Sienna again. It had been years since I’d seen or spoken to her, but she had never been far from my mind.

Only once she was standing before me did I pause to wonder if I was being self-indulgent by turning up out of nowhere.

Until then, I hadn’t considered the impact on her of seeing me again either. Had I brought her a fresh swell of grief that had settled within her over the years?

When Sienna opened her door, I hadn’t been prepared for the flashbacks of us when we’d been younger, nor the nostalgic feelings that swamped my mind. It took more than a few beats for me to respond.

“It’s Memorial Day,” I offered, shrugging sheepishly. We stared at each other until I felt awkward. “Are you leaving me here on your doorstep, or are you going to invite me in?” I’d prompted, breaking the spell of silence between us, since she’d opened the door.

“Shit, sorry, I’m just…” Sienna trailed off, her body visibly shaking in shock. She fell into a stunned silence without moving aside. My gaze studied her sky-blue eyes while they searched my face in disbelief.

We both stood frozen—me with the never-fading memory from the last time I’d seen her.

A swarm of emotions stirred in my chest, a reminder of the night when she’d arrived at my door at midnight, drenched from the rain, distressed.

The desolate look in her tear-stained eyes told me without words that her soldier brother had died.

God alone knows how long after that moment we’d clung to each other that night, soaked to the skin by the heavy downpour. It had been the night we’d both feared the most, one we’d prayed we’d never face, and the night we’d learned how temporary life is.

“Come here,” I muttered gruffly, dragging my mindset into the present and wrapping my arms around her. Our warm embrace included a squeeze of desperation and loss for the man we’d both loved. A hug that expressed what was in our hearts that a thousand words couldn’t.

Sienna felt familiar in my arms, even after all these years, but my body didn’t come to life from her touch like it once had.

I realized her hands fisted the back of my T-shirt, under my leather jacket, so I stepped back to create space between us. My experience of being a public figure reminded me of my need for privacy. “Are we okay to take this inside?” I asked again.

At my voice, she stiffened and stepped back. This time when our eyes met, hers glistened with unshed tears.

Sienna slapped her forehead, pushed the door wider and stepped further aside. “Shit. Su-sure, come in,” she stuttered as she ran a hand through her hair, smoothed her hands down her sides, then gestured for me to go ahead of her.

My footsteps faltered the moment I reached the sitting room, and I stopped at the threshold.

For a few seconds I breathed in the house I’d once spent so much time in, while my eyes scanned the small central space.

It didn’t feel all that different, but gone was Gary’s grandpa’s old beat-up furniture and in its place were a couple of new couches, new flowery wallpaper and a distinctive woman’s touch.

Sienna may have made the place her own, but the bricks and mortar of the house still held a certain significance for me. It encompassed a once-in-a-lifetime, ride-or-die friendship with my buddy, and the secret romance Sienna and I had once shared.

“Still living alone?” I asked, instinctively sensing the absence of a man around the place.

Sienna shrugged. “No other guy ever came close,” she replied deadpan.

I sighed and chose to ignore her. Hearing her flat, emotionless reply came as a reminder as to why I’d left visiting so long. What we’d once been, had cut deep for Sienna. We’d dated for almost six months before I broke up with her.

I’d liked Sienna a lot but it wasn’t love, and from what I remember, she’d gotten more jealous and clingy as my college start date loomed.

Although I’d continued to live in the house I’d inherited from my parents, I’d had no idea where my music would take me. So, I came to the realization that being tied to a relationship would have been counterproductive to my freedom as a musician.

I believed I’d made the right decision when after we’d ended, though Sienna had continued to stalk me and bombard me with voicemail messages. Eventually, I changed my phone number, but she began sending letters, begging for another chance.

Looking back, I’d taken up with Sienna not long after the death of my parents. It was at a time when I was bereft, lost and I’d needed someone to love me. Then, a year after I’d broken up with Sienna, Gary was killed in action in Afghanistan.

“The place looks great,” I offered, still scoping the room for any objects I recognized, despite the passage of time. My narrowed gaze centered on a framed photograph of all three of us, that still hung on the wall.

I remembered Drew taking it one afternoon while we’d surfed at South Beach. As I studied his image, I could hear us clear as day in my mind, debating political arguments made by the Bush administration for military action in the Middle East.

“I’ve missed him every day,” I told Sienna flatly, as I scanned our three, grinning, youthful faces, up there on the wall. “Got anything to drink?” I queried, digressing from the heaviness of grief.

“Alcohol you mean?” I turned to see her frowning.

My request had been a distraction due to the dull ache that had formed in my chest.

“Water, soda, OJ?” I clarified, taking in Sienna’s pretty features again.

I’d always had a thing for brunettes, and Sienna fitted my type to a tee.

Average height, long dark-brown hair, huge blue eyes, and a sense of innocence that she had held on to, despite everything that had happened in her life.

On reflection, it had been inevitable that Sienna and I would hook up at some point because, apart from being the only female in our friendship group, there had always been this sexual undertone and flirtatious vibe between us.

At the time, I’d tried my hardest not to give in to my attraction, but I’d had little willpower back then. It was a skill I’d developed out of necessity by the time I’d met my wife.

My mind turned to Lily, and what her thoughts would be when I told her about this visit. She was wary and uncomfortable about my past with Sienna, but I could only hope she would understand.

“Here,” Sienna mumbled, breaking into my thoughts and passing me a can of diet soda. As I eyed the can, a tattoo on Sienna’s wrist caught my attention and I grabbed her wrist before she could pull back.

My heart sank at the familiar lettered symbol she’d often sketched in my presence. “Sienna?”

“What?” A guilty flush stained her cheeks while she’d tried to pull her wrist away, but I tightened my grip.

It was a heart logo made from mine and her initials.

“What the fuck, Sienna?” I hissed, pissed that she’d marked herself like that.

“Don’t flatter yourself, I’ve considered having it lasered off. I got it the day before you broke up with me over the phone.”

Damn. When I thought on it, I realized that I hadn’t seen her in anything with short sleeves since then.

In fact, I’d only seen her a handful of times.

Once at Gary’s army end of basic training parade, once at his funeral, and the last time was at my sister Layla’s wedding, almost four years before.

“I’m sorry, I had no idea you’d done this,” I remarked, feeling sick.

“I know,” she agreed, her tone resigned. “We all do foolish things when we’re in love, right?” she asked.

“Sienna,” I sighed, not wanting to rehash old wounds.

“It’s fine. I know now that I’d never have been enough for you… not while there are women like Lily Parnell in this world,” she stated.

“You were enough for me… once, but we were kids. Hell, half the excitement of it all was that Gary had no clue about us.” A fresh flash of guilt about that rippled through me. Some friend I was… not that he’d ever warned me off Sienna.

“And that still doesn’t bother you… that we deceived Gary about us, then he died?”

My heart stalled for a beat because it had been one of the things that I’d regretted once I’d heard he’d been killed.

“Of course it does. There’s not a day that goes by, even after all this time, when I’d give anything for five more minutes with him. It would be the first thing I’d tell him.”

“And he’d have said, ‘I know’.”

My eyes flared wide in disbelief. “Gary knew? About us?”

Sienna sauntered over to a small office area in the corner of the open-plan living room, took a thin envelope out of the desk drawer, and brought it over to me.

“This arrived from Gary about a year ago. The letter had been lost in transit. It was discovered when they cleared out some military office or another. The Marine Captain that found it, hand delivered it to me.”

“Jesus, that must have been tough for you.” My heart raced at the thought of Gary’s words coming from beyond the grave after all that time.

“Read it,” she said, wafting the envelope toward me.

Tentatively, I took the letter from her and glanced down at the distinctive, scratchy scribe of my late friend. My heart squeezed tight as I ran my finger over the indented writing. The crush in my lungs made my legs buckle.

Taking a deep breath, I delicately teased the single piece of writing paper from inside.

Hey, Sie,

And you thought Florida was hot! I’ll never take growing up by the beach for granted again. Out here in the sandbox, the sun is relentless, our tented accommodation is fucking stifling, and I’m bored to my tits when we’re not out on reconnaissance.

I smiled because I imagined the sound of his voice as I read.

So, I figured I’d write you this letter to get something off my chest. The preacher here says there’s nothing like cutting straight to the chase when your life’s on the line, especially if you’re distracted by unresolved thoughts.

So, here goes. I need you to know, that I know.

What do I know? That you and Alfie are… Hell, I don’t know what the fuck’s going on, but there’s something going on between you.

You’re not boyfriend and girlfriend, that’s for sure.

Frankly, I can’t ever imagine Alfie Black being any girl’s long-time boyfriend.

You know I love Alfie like he’s a brother, but Sie, you’re blood, and precious. You deserve better. Don’t get me wrong, Alfie’s one hell-of-a-guy. But I’d bet my life he’ll never tie himself down to a monogamous relationship, no matter how much he likes a girl.

Please, I’m begging you, Sie, do yourself a favor and let him go. Find yourself a guy that thinks you’re the moon and the stars, one that feels he can’t breathe when he loses sight of you in a room. A man who’ll treat you like the queen that you are.

All that said, I don’t believe Alfie would ever be mean just to mess with you. He’s the kind of guy who acts on lust. You know, I think he’s destined to be a rock star, living a life on the road, and wherever he lays his head, and I’d bet the pants off my ass, his bed will likely never be empty.

Next time I call, we’re going to talk about this. So, I’m bringing this up now to prepare you. This letter is advice given with love. I know he’s started college, so I doubt you’ll see much of him again.

Sister, I love you both in different ways, so don’t go letting him break your heart and make me hate him.

That’s all I’ve got to say, except that I love you and I’ll call you next Sunday, if I’m still alive and back on base.

Take care of yourself for me. Tell the ‘olds’ I’m fine and I send my love.

Gary. X