Page 25 of Everything After (Everything Trilogy)

ALFIE

The way my chest tightened the moment I’d heard Lily’s voice warned me that I still hadn’t gotten my angry feelings in check.

I wasn’t sure whether my reaction was solely due to our situation, or my jabs toward her on the phone had been because she’d still been willing to entertain Lennie and Rick. Plus, because I knew them well, I believed they’d be staying over.

“Look, I’m coming over,” I said, making that decision on the spot. When I was met by silence it hurt my heart. “Lily?” I prompted after a lengthy pause.

“They don’t know what’s happened between us, and I don’t know that I won’t become emotional if you’re here,” she confessed.

“Do you want them to know?” I asked, wondering if it might be good to get their perspectives on our situation, figuring if she couldn’t see things from my point of view, perhaps Lennie or Rick might have some insight.

“No, come. I’d like to see you,” she finally said.

“Like? It’s more of a need in me,” I countered, sounding annoyed.

“Yes… I-I need to see you. We have a lot to discuss, but I don’t want to do it around other people.”

“Okay, I’m coming back, and God help us, I’ll even play happy family for appearances sake, if you need me to.”

“But Alfie… I told them you wouldn’t be here.”

“Well, tell them my plans changed. You can say I’ll be there in an hour or so. We’re both performers, Lily. I promise they’ll never suspect a thing. Besides, I won’t drink, then I’ll take them back to the mainland in the chopper later. Once they’ve gone, I’ll come back, and we’ll talk.”

Raucous laughter met me when I opened the door of our house.

“Left him with his dick in his hand and a shovel full of yellow snow on the porch,” Rick concluded, likely finishing up one of his usually hilarious stories.

As I pushed open the kitchen door Lily’s tired eyes met mine. That instant connection we’d had from day one sent a shockwave of recognition, electrifying every cell in my body. It carried a trace of remorse with it when I took in her slightly swollen eyelids and pale appearance.

She smiled at me, but it was a sad smile that didn’t reach her eyes, eyes that had dark circles beneath them. A pang of shame ran through me for making her suffer. It was a fact that should have given me a glimmer of hope that she couldn’t live without me, but it didn’t.

I stood in the doorway with a fake smile pasted on my face for our guests while my aching heart slowly splintered when I saw how my decision had wrecked her.

Lennie and Rick appeared oblivious that anything was wrong, and although the signs of Lily’s anguish were subtle, they were clear as day to me. She looked shocked and strung out from what I’d done.

Despite what I’d put her through, I still thought her effortlessly breathtaking, with her wild, long dark hair, and beautiful cream skin, as she sat cross-legged, Indian style on our oversized sectional.

She was wearing some comfy yoga pants and a baggy band T-shirt, another point that pleased me because she hadn’t dressed up for her guests.

Once I’d set eyes on her, that undeniable magnetism we’d always shared almost overpowered me. And even as I told myself I had to act normal for the guys, my selfishness took over.

Striding toward her, I leaned over the couch, cupped her head in my hands and pressed a lingering upside-down kiss to her forehead. A spark instantly sent my pheromones into overdrive and my weeks of missing her suddenly filled me full of remorse.

Sifting her hair, I took in her incredible womanly scent, then let my palm glide over her warm skin on her shoulder. Feeling her softness beneath my hands reminded me how much I’d missed the feel of it, during the previous couple of weeks.

I straightened up, moved away and swallowed the growing lump in my throat while I circled the sofa. As I sat down next to her, I considered all the other times when I’d held her that way, times when our intimate connection had been so strong neither of us would have been willing to break away.

Out of habit, I took her hand in mine, and realized it was an automatic gesture I’d done any time she was close. It was a move I had taken for granted and questioned whether I’d still had a right to do, now that I was unsure what was next for us.

As I looked down at where our hands were joined, Lily gave my hand the slightest squeeze.

A gesture that ignited angst-filled feelings of love and loss to circle deep in my chest. My frustration that I couldn’t talk freely with her after our weeks apart was only abated when I forced out a sigh and leaned back into my seat.

“Wow, what a touching scene. Anyone would think you hadn’t clapped eyes on each other for weeks,” Rick muttered, perceptive as ever. “You should thank us for keeping our girl company in your absence, instead of getting all possessive.”

“Yeah, well, you’re Rick Fars,” I muttered, pretending to play on his reputation with the ladies.

“I kept my hands to myself,” Rick joked, holding his hands in the air. “These fingers are needed to earn a living. It wouldn’t do if I lost them,” he added.

I wanted to call him on referring to Lily as ‘our girl’, but reluctantly let it slide. “Alright, you’ve had your fun. What brings you two raggedy-assed buggers all the way over here?” I joked. I side-eyed Lily next to me to gauge how she really felt about me being there.

My dick twitched, betraying me, when I saw her nervously bite her lip as she stole a glance back. I stood to distract myself from her because the last thing I wanted was to be hard around her when we had serious things to discuss.

“We were at a loose end and wondered who we could annoy. Knowing how protective you are of this one here, I figured you’d be the easiest to get a rise from,” Rick teased, and flashed me a grin.

“Right,” I muttered, wandering over to the glass cabinet. Taking a tumbler from it, I filled it with water from the fridge dispenser. As I turned, I eyed the half-empty bottle of dark rum the boys were drinking.

“Not drinking whiskey?” I queried.

“We’d already drank half a bottle before we came here, and I figured we should switch to rum. This one doesn’t get so cranky on rum,” Lennie offered, hitching a thumb in Rick’s direction.

“What he means is that I perform better in the sack after drinking rum,” Rick advised, stretching his arms along the back of his seat, and owning his statement. Everyone chuckled.

“Before you get too comfortable, you need to know you aren’t staying the night. We have a full day ahead tomorrow,” I lied, nodding toward Lily. “I’m going to fly you guys back ashore later, so don’t get too wasted.”

“You’re a miserable bastard sometimes,” Rick stated, frowning.

I couldn’t argue with that. His and Lennie’s presence when I had stuff to say to Lily, irritated me.

“Yeah, what’s with the dour face today. You’re not your usual smiling self?” Lennie asked in a gentler tone.

“Dour? Do I look dour to you, Lily?” I asked, making Lily’s gorgeous eyes meet mine, and I waited for her to cover for me.

“Yep,” she mumbled, nodding. Her response immediately made me feel betrayed. Pain shot from my jaw down my chest, and I realized how tightly I’d clenched my teeth. My jaw ticked in frustration that she’d sided with her bandmate.

I shrugged. “Maybe I’m miserable because I’m not getting any right now,” I replied, subliminally letting Lily know there hadn’t been anyone else during our time apart. My statement also pushed the attention back to her.

Rick chuckled and focused on Lily. “Are you on a period, darlin’? Don’t tell us you wouldn’t fuck this pretty goddess regardless,” he suggested to me.

Lily’s jaw dropped and she stared wide eyed in horror toward Rick. “Too far, Rick!” she scolded.

“Is that so?” he asked with a hint of menace in his tone. Standing, he yanked up his jeans, pawed his junk and chuckled. Wandering toward me, he bent and stared intently into my eyes. “Yeah? Why don’t I believe you, Lily. His eyes look cloudy,” he assessed.

“Rick,” I warned in a low tone.

Sensing I was pissed, he chuckled and stood upright again. “So, you’re holding out on him. What’s your price? A new dog? Another house? A baby?”

“You think I’m that fickle?” Lily snapped. “If I wanted a dog or a house, I’d buy one for myself,” Lily remarked, sounding more annoyed than usual whenever Rick got a rise out of her.

“Ah, so it’s a baby then,” he teased. “Don’t tell me you’re firing blanks,” he muttered, inspecting me with narrowed eyes.

Rick might have been joking, but unbeknownst to him, he’d hit a raw nerve. I’d only been home five minutes, but I’d already had enough of his comments, even if it was banter that I’d normally have brushed off.

“Did you come here to visit or insult us? I was joking. We’re good,” I lied, sitting back down and placing an arm around Lily.

“Lily doesn’t want for anything. If you must know, I came back thinking we’d have the place to ourselves tonight.

” It was a reasonable explanation to cover my less-than-jovial mood.

“Shit, and we’ve cock blocked you,” Rick blurted.

Lennie found Rick’s remark hilarious and laughed.

I shrugged. “It really is nice to see you guys, but we rarely get time to ourselves.”

Lennie stopped laughing when he realized I was serious. “Alright, Rick. Enough. I’m sorry, Alfie. Lily said you weren’t going to be here. What say we eat those pizzas and calzone that we brought, and we’ll get out of your hair?”

Right then, I could have kissed Lennie for giving us a way out, until I remembered that he and his bandmates were part of the problem between Lily and me in the first place.